One day you are appointed by the president of Nintendo to create a mascot for Nintendo Direct. The mascot will essentially be the speaker replacing Satoru Iwata from past directs.
You're given absolute freedom to create whatever you want so long as it isn't copyrighted.
What do?
I'M NOT IWATA… I'M MY ORIGINAL CHARACTER BLIWATA
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What the fuck Holla Forums?
Nintendo have already turned half of their staff into mascots.
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Whelp, can't do anything about it now can I?
Fuck that, we're using titty nee-san. Her game is terrible but her love is pure.
Do you think Miyamoto is like Pee-Wee Herman where he's an idol to children by day, and jerking himself off in strip clubs at night?
Probably, I've heard he's a Japanese Steve Jobs.
You sure Myamoto isn't too old to get it up?
His office is off-limits since >muh inspiration space
Skip to 1:20
What am I watching user?
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Why? They already have reggie.
I can't draw for shit so I'll just have to write this out
How about:
>has a strange fascination for cuteboys and other women her age
Her name would be Cho, which is short for chokusetsu (i.e. direct).
Apologies for the autism.
Genderbend Satoru Iwata, make her a cute rock monster (is such a thing possible? One way to find out) and presto, Iwa-tan is here to bring the news directree to yu.
I tried to capture the essance of on-disc DLC and lacklustre first party support for their flagship console amidst pissing off every third party developer with their insistance of shitty gimmicks even nintendo can't make fun games with and exceptionally piss poor hardware in a generation of piss poor hardware
First thought would be to have puppets, like they did that E3. Maybe they could bring Nikki back.
As for people, they'd have to find someone kinda well known and who knows some English, to make things easier. I don't think Miyamoto and Sakurai can speak it, and I can't think of anyone else aside from Reggie.
Nah, everyone knows he's Mexican
Kimishima can speak english
Alright. Here you go.