SCP, the game and the site

How is this /x/ though? really SCP is now flash fiction and shit. (Very bad ones now and days but still)

...

Too many social justice faggots
a while ago they deleted a bunch of "problematic" articles.
they also have high standards that half the articles don't even meet and it's not like you need originality.
basically a narcissistic version of an edgy superhero site now.

I tried to make /scp/ and it didn't work. Got dogpiled by the massive faggot in and his cronies when I linked it on one of the chats, and basically told to never mention it again or get banned.

Had no luck getting any traffic.

If anyone knows of tumblr-tier ones, please link to archive so I can have a laugh.

Cthulhu's Pythagorean Cup

It's a regular cup, but if you pour too much wine in like a greedy fuck, "Cthulhu" appears and grants you a wish, but it's like the traditional genie where the wish always fucks you up, and to everyone else you've disappeared somewhere, like in a alternate dimension where your wish comes true until you die there, however before you die you are reminded that you are in a artificial dimension and right now you are the most isolated human in existence, and that everything that seems living isn't real, and that when you die your soul will belong to Cthulhu. The Foundation knows this because after the subject dies, it comes back exactly a second later the wish was granted.
I don't know what the fuck I was thinking when I thought of this.

"Whale"

Basically a intelligence benevolent sea god whale thing. It can send things to an unknown place through it's mouth-portal (considering it doesn't actually need to eat, because it's a god.) and tends to get pissed off around subjects who have hurt (like serious assault, rape, murder, etc.) children. The people it does get pissed off at tend to show up in random populated areas days later burning alive and their limbs mangled. The ones that the "Whale" deem "worthy" show up exactly a month later in the same spot, but they're in perfectly peak health condition (one of the experiments would've had a convict who lost a limb come back with said limb back, and excess fat is removed, and subjects always manage to have a six pack. And eventually when it gets old enough, it'd point out that the subjects have increased lifespans compared to other humans. (Differences of up to fifty years.)) and with no memory of the place they went to. (though the people who burn seem to always shout something about a hot, fiery place with loads of people who don't like them. They don't do that for very long though.)

Basically would've implied the existence of a heaven/hell and the existence of Japanese gods. Those who went to heaven would enjoy a fantasy that would be a literal eternity for them before they returned, and vice versa with the damned.

The Twelve Sided Cube

Toy cube. There is a button on it. Press it and it introduces the subject to the fourth dimension, the hard way. Can end up having two of the same people in one body, and in the experiments only one person would have survived (although he was introduced to the all famous brain-in-a-jar).
However if you hold it down you gain temporary temporal superpowers. This includes time stop, time rewind, time fastfoward, etc etc, you just can't be seen and you aren't physically there, so all "physical" limitations are placed on your own mind. Think of it as a time-stopping noclip mode.
Spend enough time in there, and when you release, you might find yourself overloaded with temporal bullshit from time travel, but still overall alive.
(It's also implied that you also have an increased lifespan and if you were to ever be near a singularity, you'd show a "resistance" to the time dilation.)
(And it's implied again that if you press the cube's button instead of holding it, you won't actually die. And that holding the button probably won't have any negative side-effects anymore.)
Tends to make people crazy and makes the locker-room that much more harder to change in with it around.
Also anyone who tries to go too far back in time or too far forward will see some crazy shit. (like maybe even the actual Creator?)