How do you do it. How do you go on after a certain point, weighing everything you've read. And how it all applies...

Same.

You eat healthy, you exercise, and you find a hobby you enjoy. Only a hand full of people are in the position to change anything meaningful, so be patient for the next collapse.

nutritionfacts.org/video/are-happier-people-actually-healthier/
nutritionfacts.org/video/foods-increase-happiness/

The hobby I enjoy is the desire to ditch this career focused degree and do the impossible, become an author. Just write what I feel into drama. It's the only goal that has kept me living aside from my girlfriend. I won't ditch this degree, but I do want to become an author, desperately.

I don't feel like I can be happy because in every single possible way I'm stretched thin. Which is the ideal position to write from.

Why don't you write then? I'm working a shitty job and working towards an economics degree, but I still find time to work on scripts or stories.

I do want to write. I'm working on my first novel as we speak, or at least outlining it. It has much to do with the internet. Not to give things away, but it has much to do with the untapped potential that is how the classical tragedy and the internet are currently intertwined. And so the world as being connected to the internet, in various ways. The classical tragedy is reborn and relevant again, more than it was previously. Friends turn on friends, lovers meet others, parents alienated from children they don't understand, men embracing the feminine, women embracing the masculine. Everything is fever pitch of dramatic.

It's honestly the perfect time to write about this, in its own way. I have a plot, clearly, in my head, and my chest. Just waiting to pool onto the page. But finding a structure to it all is difficult. You know how it is.

But I can't get the idea out of my mind, and something about heartbreak, tragedy, it's just sapping out any positivity from me. In relation to the novel, that's good. In relation to my life, that's bad.

It's amplifying other parts of me that were negative before, into something even more negative now. Just exploring parts of the internet, and seeing how people treat one another. Accidentally or otherwise.

The world is just a mess, and it's best to record it. But recording you're living in such a place is never easy for anyone.

You may find inspiration with voyage to the end of the night. The project you're describing made me think of it.

More than anything inspiration wise, I'm using Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake as a sort of base. I find that drama, opera, ballet, do more to inspire me to write into a story than actual written literature does. For me at least, there's a bit of a difference between reading something for inspiration, and writing something that can be read. Given the context of the work itself, I keep getting sucked into ballet and opera more than anything. And it usually ends up being more drawn to Tchaikovsky.

Well shit dude… That's becoming waaay outside the competency of the board. You would have more luck on /lit/ or /mu/ i guess…

Still you should check out Celine, given your state it could get you started… or bring you to kill yourself, it's 50 50.

Its an active process that happens your entire life. You dont just sit down and say "Im going to make up my mind now".

You dont

It's simple, I don't. The only reason I haven't committed suicide yet is because it would upset my parents.