How do you do it. How do you go on after a certain point, weighing everything you've read. And how it all applies...

Same.

You eat healthy, you exercise, and you find a hobby you enjoy. Only a hand full of people are in the position to change anything meaningful, so be patient for the next collapse.

nutritionfacts.org/video/are-happier-people-actually-healthier/
nutritionfacts.org/video/foods-increase-happiness/

The hobby I enjoy is the desire to ditch this career focused degree and do the impossible, become an author. Just write what I feel into drama. It's the only goal that has kept me living aside from my girlfriend. I won't ditch this degree, but I do want to become an author, desperately.

I don't feel like I can be happy because in every single possible way I'm stretched thin. Which is the ideal position to write from.

Why don't you write then? I'm working a shitty job and working towards an economics degree, but I still find time to work on scripts or stories.

I do want to write. I'm working on my first novel as we speak, or at least outlining it. It has much to do with the internet. Not to give things away, but it has much to do with the untapped potential that is how the classical tragedy and the internet are currently intertwined. And so the world as being connected to the internet, in various ways. The classical tragedy is reborn and relevant again, more than it was previously. Friends turn on friends, lovers meet others, parents alienated from children they don't understand, men embracing the feminine, women embracing the masculine. Everything is fever pitch of dramatic.

It's honestly the perfect time to write about this, in its own way. I have a plot, clearly, in my head, and my chest. Just waiting to pool onto the page. But finding a structure to it all is difficult. You know how it is.

But I can't get the idea out of my mind, and something about heartbreak, tragedy, it's just sapping out any positivity from me. In relation to the novel, that's good. In relation to my life, that's bad.

It's amplifying other parts of me that were negative before, into something even more negative now. Just exploring parts of the internet, and seeing how people treat one another. Accidentally or otherwise.

The world is just a mess, and it's best to record it. But recording you're living in such a place is never easy for anyone.

You may find inspiration with voyage to the end of the night. The project you're describing made me think of it.

More than anything inspiration wise, I'm using Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake as a sort of base. I find that drama, opera, ballet, do more to inspire me to write into a story than actual written literature does. For me at least, there's a bit of a difference between reading something for inspiration, and writing something that can be read. Given the context of the work itself, I keep getting sucked into ballet and opera more than anything. And it usually ends up being more drawn to Tchaikovsky.

Well shit dude… That's becoming waaay outside the competency of the board. You would have more luck on /lit/ or /mu/ i guess…

Still you should check out Celine, given your state it could get you started… or bring you to kill yourself, it's 50 50.

Its an active process that happens your entire life. You dont just sit down and say "Im going to make up my mind now".

You dont

It's simple, I don't. The only reason I haven't committed suicide yet is because it would upset my parents.

That part was mostly rhetorical. There is never getting over that, I know.

If it's any consolation, our species has a very bright future. In a few hundred to a few thousand years things will be fucking wonderful. Fully automated luxury communism is basically inevitable, and technological advancements will render a lot of our petty squabbles irrelevant. Of course, in all likelihood none of us will live to see it.

Why do you ask them to take solace in the speculation that happiness will be for the men of the future? Obscene, pure spook, pure Ideology.

Mad Max is probably more likely.

Personally I don't value my own happiness more than that of other people. In fact, I recognise that the illusion of continuity of consciousness is just that - an illusion. The "me" 10 years from now will be no more the same person as me than any other person. If things get too bad for me I'll just kill myself, but I like to think that humanity will survive and prosper.

That's the least likely outcome. Either we'll fill the universe with intelligent life, or we'll go extinct. Any "Mad Max" situation wouldn't last for more than a few years as infrastructure either crumbled or got rebuilt.

I wish I could be this retardedly optimistic again.

The key factor is artificial intelligence. Once we solve that, progress will become a hell of a lot more exponential than it has been. Either humans will go extinct leaving behind an AI civilisation, or they'll look after us and prevent us from fucking up any more.

I watch others express their opinions on world geopolitics.

People have become so clueless that being intellectually superior to them through rigor and self-criticism has become easier than feeling superior to them.

Get on my fucking level plebeians

No I was. I've been depressed since I was a child. Pointless blogging about it though.

...

...

I sometimes get depressed about how everybody just don't give a flying fuck about politics except when it's time to put the paper in the box. You can join a group and engage in leftist propaganda, that's what I do. Also escapism can help (drugs, sex, vidya, anime…).

Clinical depression and autism. Eat shit, nigger.

Be an Absurd Hero.

I just checked this. I know what I say doesn't mean much, and I probably can't do shit to convince you otherwise. I'm also depressed, severely. I've made too many catastrophic mistakes to count. I'm made all the worse for it. And I've battled with suicidal tendencies most of my life.

But you shouldn't do it, if you plan on it. This is just my opinion, but I found support groups to help. Mostly in outpatient. I could talk to them, about the times I've fucked up and how that all effected me, the times I was fucked over, the times I felt like I couldn't take it anymore and needed a way to end everything. Airing it all out and having it be accepted by people in similar situations who no doubt have sympathy and empathy for you, felt, like closure. I'm not everyone, you may find it annoying, nerve wracking, or just uncomfortable.

But there's always ways around the temptation to give and stop fighting for what life has to offer, even if sometimes it can be lengthened by pain too harsh to bear. I felt like nobody would ever be my friend again, let alone lover, but now I have a girlfriend who loves me like nothing else.

The world is terrible, it's full of exploitation and cruelty, nothing in this world is free of mean spirited influence. There may not even be hope for it. But there is hope that other people feel the same way, who want the same thing you do. There are people out there who don't hate you.

There's not hope, but ultimately before you go you should work upon over coming your fears, finding something that matters to keep you going. Otherwise, you just end up hurting the ones who love you most, who are also similarly, always there for you.

Educate other people with your knowledge. Do the change IRL, no matter how small it is.

Can we hi-jack this thread to talk about depresion in general?

I dont think I'm depressed, though when I stop having things to do and to distract me, leaving me with my own thoughts, then I feel like I get 'depressed' and start thinking about how I hate myself. I use quotation marks as I know that's not depression. I still draw pleasure from many things, but I feel like if that were to stop and I wouldnt have ways to distract myself anymore, I would be totally fucked. Is this, well not normal, but at least how most of you guys are?

That's pretty fucking tits too. I want to tool around on the wasteland in a supercharged muscle car and visit small outposts of humanity that could give you tetanus just by looking at them.

Well, I'm feeling it too, so its at least normal to two people. But can you tell me why you feel that way?

That seems like a very capitalist dream.

Horrible realities are the most fun to adventure in. Think of the present as the grimdark past that preceeds the communist future.

...

Religion.

Because at that point you have to deny certain objective reasoning, forgo logic, and put your faith into a something outside yourself.

The interconnected nature of experience, as if to suppose for a moment we're all one being, connected, but separated by a means chosen long ago so as to have a greater experience.

Begin thinking of your mind not as a factory that produce consciousness but as a receiver by which you tune into the larger consciousnesses of the universe.

Also, apathy. Because most do on some level choose their parts, their roles, and these outcomes. Through blind ignorance or circumstance- we all actively chose our positions at some point.

From that point, just go on. Proceed actively, and with intent on how you would reshape the circumstance of others.

"But I have to bust the spooks!"

"No, Anarchist, you are the spooks."

"And then the Anarchist praised Jesus."

I just avoid feeling serious emotions by reading comic books and listening to music whenever I'm not working or studying. I'm still a wreck but at least it gives me enough willpower to hide it.

This keeps me anchored.

youtube.com/watch?v=fPaUvYPRzrM

no, I mean, I hate religious bullshit that seems to have crept into leftypol lately, but I'm really high and I know what he's talking about, please continue

Oh not meant to

Maeant for>>769357

Jesus is a long train of potential myths & understandings, best thought of more as a base example of potential.

He's not an idol to be praised, but more a standard one ought to hold themselves to as most deity figures were in myth & legend.

It'd take too much effort, but I was always more entertained by The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross notion of Christ as a metaphor for psilocybin usage.

Eh? The McKenna brothers outline it perfectly, if you had any interest in my opinion.

The work of Michael Kirkbride also has a lot of condensed theological philosophy and insights.

I should mention I post a lot on religion here, but I'm not proposing Abrahamic solutions, quite the opposite as I view them as detrimental to society when given to the weak minded.

I advocate most strongly for polytheistic re-constructionist movements, McKennaism, and broader animist philosophy.

Even if you convinced me to believe in god, all I would do would feel would be anger. Please try to convert someone else.

I don't have to, as you are god. I needn't convince you to be yourself.

All people are fragmented aspects of Ein Soph, all gods are just the apotheosis of an idea or an ideal and thus also fragments.

You know, I think there's a word for being able to be honest with mental health practitioners about the things which make you depressed without fearing for your basic human rights. I think it's something like crivilege, maybe brivilege, I can't remember. Anyway, I'm glad you think there are people out there who don't hate you. That must be nice.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=ioMuDdNPIxQ

The thing is, plenty of people see the need for change, and would be sympathetic to leftist ideas if you explained them out. The problem is that for the time being, society still works, changes needed to remake society for the better would be incredibly disruptive, and most people are still trying to survive, get by, and cope the best way they can.

Every day I think about my plan to venture out into the American heartland with a bunch of like-minded anticapitalists, establishing Bookchin-style federated communes as a means of building support for an AnCom movement, and despooking people from wage labor and consumerism. I don't act on these ideas though, because I have little money saved up, a lot of debt in my name, and for the time being a relatively safe and comfortable job.

At some point in the near future (and it WILL happen) there will be another economic crash, or another major disaster, and at that point people will stop coping, realize they have nothing left to lose, and start acting out. And that's when the REAL fun begins. The point is to be ready for that day, read up on theory, build a network, have some supplies stashed away, because the dumbass ruling elites have led society to a point where revolt WILL happen, regardless of the lack of meaningful leftist opposition. We have to be ready to seize this opportunity though, much like the Bolsheviks in 1917, though hopefully we can avoid their mistakes.

The advent of psychotherapy was viewed as abominable and perverse, because it was seen as undignified to spill your soul to someone in such a manner.

The old Austrians saw therapy like one today would see prostitution, it's literally selling yourself to another.

Except the prostitute gets paid, it's literally paying someone just to fist your skull.

Why I hate myself?

Idk exactly. I feel like it's a lot of small reasons. I'm a shitty person who dosnt care about many other people's feelings if it's for my own gain, baring my family and maybe one or two people, I'm pretty medicore in everything I have ever been interested in compared to everyone else, be it games, subjects, hobbies, and always will be, I'm terrible with people yet rely on social interaction and I rarely think about emphasizing with other people if they're feeling bad because it just dosnt come to mind, and being in 'their shoes' just isnt something I consider without promt.

I can go on.

Y'all motherfuckers really need to get over the need to change things that are out of your control. So the world is shit! There is nothing wrong with enjoying what is good about it.

Sure, leftism is easy to explain, but OP has the disadvantage of being a post-leftist. That shit does not make a damn bit of sense to anybody who is not already an academic. In five minutes, a marxist can explain why private property is shit. The person he is talking to will get a little twitch of recognition in his eyes, the wheels will start turning in his head, and then that satisfying moment of epiphany happens. Then he will go home and look at the world in a new light. When a post-leftist tries to explain critical theory, the person listening slowly glosses over, and usually he starts saying things like "Uh-huh." If he is more interested than most (say, he wants to fuck the speaker), he will ask questions that the post-leftist can only respond to by recommending that he read a certain book.

It's gotta be frustrating as hell. Now I kind of feel badly for all of my old bourgeois professors who kept pushing intersectionality and post-structuralism. Kind of.

Technology is not God. It is not inherently good. Suffering will exist until the end of time as long as people are allowed to harness technology for evil purposes.

Fucking retards
naturalnews.com/040249_bosnia_preppers_survival_strategies.html

Sounds like you hate yourself because you want to live up to an image of yourself based what others expect you should be.

I doubt that it's tbh.

You can't be an Absurd and an Hero at the same time. The absurd can't commit suicide.