Six months after this she decided she would buy a new house with my Dad’s life insurance policy. The first spot she looked at had three properties on it, and she decided that it was perfect cuz’ I could live in my own spot, my sister in another and her in the third. At this time my memories of what she had done to me were coming back, making me very irritable as I didn’t know how to tell my Mother what had happened. The houses were in bad shape too. They had been used by squatters for who knows how long, but it was cheap and she thought if I helped her she could fix them. She of course didn’t tell me she expected my involvement. She seemed very gung-ho about having a housing project and I just wanted her to be happy after everything she told me about my dad.
I was immediately resistant to the construction as I found out how awful everything was. Without every little detail, just imagine the most derelict, nearly condemned building, and your mom just keeps going “It’ll be okay, it’ll fix up!” My resistance upset my Mom, and I didn’t understand why. It was her project; she should work on it or hire help. I ended up living at our old house for about 4 months by myself, which I greatly enjoyed. A heavy windstorm busted my bedroom window, and because of that my Mom refused to let me stay there, claiming she wasn’t gonna pay for the window to be fixed. I moved into the hobbled and she continued to pressure me to help her fix the properties, which I was able to ignore by going to work full time.
One morning I called in sick. She came in and asked me to go buy her a pack of soda before work. When I told her I wasn’t going cuz’ I was sick, she kicked me in the back. She told me to quit being lazy or to go to the doctor.
I drove off and cried in a parking lot for a while, everything hitting me at once and how at this point I was ready to abandon my mother for all that had happened. I went to back home to begin packing. My friends all showed up to help, my mother screaming and throwing my things in anger. One friend called the police to get her to calm down, which she is still angry at me to this day that cops were called to her house. I stayed with a friend for six months, coming back at Christmas when living with my friend turned into an equally horrible situation.
This is when I told her that my sister had sexually molested me, as it was 50% of why I left. I had been planning to tell her around the time dad died, but I didn’t want to pile on pain. However, due to the amount of time that had passed, there wasn’t much we could do. However, my sister is still able to live on the property my Mom owns and is still invited over for holidays. This is especially sickening to me, as my Mom has condemned other child molesters in the family to the nth degree, but she treats my sister as if it never happened.
I and my mother remained on eggshells for the next year until I finally moved out again. In this year my best friend came out to me as transgener, offering a relationship with me. I accepted and it has been amazing. But, of course, that’s another thing to hide from my bigoted mother. Keeping her at a distance I thought me and her were getting better. I’d only go to see her once a week, sometimes less, and it felt okay. Now last week she broke both her ankles. I had to abruptly move back in to take care of her, and have been quickly reminded of every single little thing that upsets me about her.
She told me she doesn’t blame me, but summed up that it’s my fault that she bought the three shitty houses. Cuz’ she thought I wanted it. Because I told her, in my attempts to encourage her and make her happy, that it was okay to buy the place. She thought she was “gonna save me from the struggles of life” by me fixing all of her property for free, followed up by me paying rent and utilities on one of the buildings. It was at this point I was so infuriated that I felt it’s time I just leave. Beyond these statements she has been really laying it on about how much she needs me, and I want nothing to do with the emotional manipulation anymore. She constantly talks about how I am the only of use to her anymore, now that my Dad has died and my sister is mostly blind after the cancer.
And so finally, with all this said, I ask, how in the world do I cut her off completely? Do I explain to her everything she doesn’t know about me that I know she hates? How I feel about how she’s treated me my entire life? I hadn’t felt so angry in such a long time, and I realized that I think all negativity in my life comes from her. I can’t stand it, and I want it to end. What should I do?