Wat do

Make her lick your balls user

Drown her in balls

Balls would become suddenly very sticky, and cling to her clothing

...

Regurgitate my fish fillet into her mouth, then teach her to fly.

The number of bacteria and viruses sticking to those balls is unimaginable. Stay away.

"Where are your parents?"

If I show any form of friendly expression the parents might think I'm a pedophile and not just trying to be a social animal.
If I try to scoop more balls in her direction the parents may think I'm getting too close and try to smear me as a pedophile.

You obviously didn't go to Mcdonald since 2006, because ballpits aren't a thing anymore, since they have been find to be so unhygienic and full of diaper shit.

Kids are disgusting, their hygiene is atrocious.