Breakfast

Do you even eat it?

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Nope. 20-30 minutes spent on preparing, eating the food and then quickly doing the dishes is 20-30 minutes of sleep I don't get.

have a sandwich

takes 5 minutes to prepare and doesn't create dishes

oats are quick, dubsman

Does not compute. I'm not a morning person, so all I do is stand up, shower, brush my teeth, and head to work. I normally get a bite before lunch at work, though.

they're also awful

This. I throw up or get an upset stomach if I don't have at least an hour to eat and chill before doing work/school. I just have a protein shake for "breakfast" most days.

we know what you mean, user.

Haha I do mean an actual drink in the morning not masturbation. That's clever though.

My current favorite breakfast is a handful of spinach and two eggs with a large glass of water. A great way to start the day.

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I guess you'll be even more disgusted to hear that I do weights and calisthenics workouts twice a week, and cardio workouts three times a week

yeah that's pretty gross

especially the calisthenics

Always drink water in the morning. It'll aid digestion all day and I heard it even stops you from getting as fat.

Spinach is damn good too, at least it isn't kale. It stinks of vagina on a bad day, until you cook it. My girlfriend is mad about avocado right now and I guess its rubbing off on me. Delicious stuff. Ever eaten courgetti?

eat cereal it takes 10 minutes if you're slow, only have to wash a bowl and a spoon afterwards

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Of course
youtube.com/watch?v=qx6eRoGYIhA

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If you are serious about this thread, you would eat more fruit with your semen.