Funeral Attendant

Connor Martin
Connor Martin

Ask a former funeral attendant anything. I worked for a funeral home company for 11 months. I removed over a 100 bodies, drove caskets around, did house removals and visited the morgue of every county hospital.

I've touched bodies with my bare hand.

pic related. It's the work van on one of my runs to the cemetery.

All urls found in this thread:

criminalminds.wikia.com/wiki/Ed_Gein

Camden White
Camden White

11 months
Why'd you quit?

Daniel Hill
Daniel Hill

he said he touched them

Cooper Ward
Cooper Ward

Would it be possible for someone, purely hypothetical of course, to switch bodies at a closed casket funeral in order to cover up a murder?

Adrian Powell
Adrian Powell

necrophilia?

William Ross
William Ross

did you fug em

Brandon Hughes
Brandon Hughes

Job payed really shit ($9.50). During my last service, outside the church, my boss aggressively grabbed my arm and told me in my ear to cut my hair. Dude was fucking penny-pinching demon.

I got pretty distraught. When I backed of a parking space in the work van, the car scraped against a yellow pillar. The whole side was fucked.

I basically came in the next day and quit. I felt unable to withstand the torment that awaited me. I saw no other option.

Hunter Wood
Hunter Wood

For the most part, we dealt with old people corpses. I wasn't a necro, but we did have this one dude. He was a veritable rapist who had 5 children with four women. He was the cremator. Sometimes, he would check out the bodies before incinerating them. fucked up shit.

Jose Young
Jose Young

Maybe. Most services were open casket unless the body was too mangled up.

Theoretically, it could be done but only after the service. The family meets for morning mass after the night viewing. The body stays at the funeral home overnight. Since caskets are rarely opened the day of the funeral, the bodies could be switched.

Cameron Baker
Cameron Baker

so? Did you not tire of disgust? Can't possibly be nice to have to touch and look at fat and or old people and their saggy skin and shit

Camden Ward
Camden Ward

How long does it take you to dig that massive hole that you put the bodies in? I tried digging a similarly sized hole in my backyard and it took me a week. Its hard work!

Jackson Richardson
Jackson Richardson

It was disgusting at first but you get used to it. I saw autopsied bodies from the morgue. Seeing the inside of someone's skull desensitizes you.

I enjoyed the novelty that comes with being a funeral attendant. Doing something that is both seen as totally repulsive and counter cultural is pretty cool.

Carter Ross
Carter Ross

I don't know for sure because I worked at the home not the cemetery. I guess it took a couple of hours with the aid of a piloted excavator.

Benjamin Stewart
Benjamin Stewart

Did you have to wash the bodies?

Jordan Allen
Jordan Allen

Are those ashes real or do you just burn some wood and dump it into an urn?

Blake Reyes
Blake Reyes

Ed Gein
The Plainfield Ghoul
criminalminds.wikia.com/wiki/Ed_Gein

Luis Gonzalez
Luis Gonzalez

The embalmers were pretty specific about what was their responsibility. Tending to the bodies was theirs. I never washed them, but I helped dress them countless times. I guess washing requires a bit of know how.

The ashes belong to the person who was charred. Only the bones remain after the cremation. 1600 degrees Fahrenheit melts all the tissues. The eerie part of it all, which relates to your question, is when the remains are shoveled into a receptacle, the dust of countless other bodies mingles in. We had this insane blender for the bones. So, what you get is 99% your loved one and 1% a thousand others.

Jayden Reed
Jayden Reed

did you get the heeby jeebys when you touched them?

Leo Parker
Leo Parker

Who gets to take the blended bones home?

Grayson Clark
Grayson Clark

dats fucked up mane

The first time yes. All other times, it was no big deal especially after they had been sitting in the fridges for a few hours.

There was one time I had to pick up a deceased an hour after expiration. I def got the heeby geebys when I touched a still warm body. Fucking Indians and their wacky funeral rites.

Dominic Ward
Dominic Ward

Usually the family. Homeless people are cremated by the lowest bidder and put into random cemeteries.

Jeremiah Parker
Jeremiah Parker

wait what. there are random cemetaries full of homeless people that are bid on??

Oliver Price
Oliver Price

lol what I meant is that the funeral home will have the remains sent to a cheap cemetery. I've seen one. Apparently, a lot of homeless are veterans.

Leo Bailey
Leo Bailey

shouldnt the homeless vets be sent to that grave of the unnamed soldier place?

Jayden Green
Jayden Green

Ever been walkingredients through the home at night and suddenly a tall old man sees you and points and says "BOOOYYYYYYY"

Nathaniel Moore
Nathaniel Moore

Have you ever coped a feel?

How does a dead boob feel like? Any hot dead wimmin?

Caleb Kelly
Caleb Kelly

Well,there was one time.
This old woman passed away and she had a rocking set of tits on her.
I had to play with them a little,she didn't know.
I thought about sucking on her grey pussy but my jew boss walked in before I could pound it.
Dead boob feels like a live boob but cold.

Jose Richardson
Jose Richardson

Hot!!
:-)

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