Star Wars

I want to gag

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But Lucasfilm is a corporation.

Fucking exactly.

But Rian Johnson made a film where he obviously didn't care about the fans too?

Yeah the Prequels suck but at least they're memorable and entertaining in some way, modern Capeshit style blockbusters are designed do you won't even remember the events a month later

I have yet to see one good video game come out of tue Disney trilogy, at least the prequels had battlefront, republic commando, and E1 racer, what the fuck does Disney Wars have?

To be fair that's hardly Disney's fault, it's not like Republic Commando took much besides setting from the Prequels, that was a great era for videogames and this is a terrible one.

God damnit I made myself sad, is there anything in the world that isn't getting steadily worse as time goes on?

Star Wars is fascist and reactionary. George Lucas worked for the US Navy making propaganda. Nearly all Hollywood movies have a reactionary, pro-capitalist message.

take your meds autismo

The prequels were anticapitalist and anti-liberal.

What the fuck are you smoking?

Hack writers employed by content farms have shitty opinions, more at 11.


PHIL GREAVES GANG

He’s pretty much right

Shows the failure of liberalism and how liberal institutions give birth to fascism, albeit in a laughably idealistic way with the space wizards and all.

for

Nice totally unsubstantiated nonsense.

Not really, considering it was Lucas' hack take on contemporary burger affairs. Look at how history has developed since.

Oh, so Lucas was a communist? I guess that's why he worked for the US Navy and decided to make movie trilogies about reactionary magical scifi knights.

And zhang yimo is a CPC stooge since he made PLA propaganda films

This a bit of an aside, but weren’t the rebels fighting to reinstall a queen?

Star Wars, and all fandom-driven media, are inherently reactionary.

That class concious casino scene with max stirner tho

The CIS, who were portrayed as unambiguous villains, are led by private corporations. It's obviously not explicitly anti-capitalist, but there are undertones.


He was too nihilistic to be a Stirner avatar.

Remember proles, you can only have meaningful art if you sell out your talents to the God Mickey Mouse (PBUH). Save your soul and praise his name.

My man stop trying to make sense of the prequels, the only one that went through drafting was the third one, and it still had two men hopping across platforms with lava below them like this was a level in Super Mario World. The only thing I'm surprised George didn't add to that scene was one of these fuckers.

You know he had to show enormous restraint.

proofs or put the dick back in your mouth repeating shit you can't prove shoud be banned if body odour really cared about quality, it would be but xir doesn't, xir wants to turn this into a torture chamber


nope


this place has gone to shit and your post is a example of how

OINK WHERE ARE MY ESTROGEN PILLS OINK

The prequels were the height of the entire series and that's not saying much. If I wanted shitty hero's journey I could go read gilgamesh.

If you're this passionate about the gigantic Disney Corporation, George Lucas, or Star Wars, you just need to move on with your life.

...

This is how #resistance types see the actual left.

Jar Jar Binks fighting robots while tripping on blue energy balls yelping "I'm sorry massa me make a booboo massa" (an african american and diversity casting, thank you George Lucas) and a 3 year old child actor flying a space fighter jet successfully into a defense installment controlled by greedy Green Chinamen accidentally blowing it up and saving the day, while John Williams does his best to make it seem like Ewan McGregor's promising acting career isn't going down the drain fighting a Marilyn Manson fan is a lot better than that other movie that had too many adults in it.

it's called when you sperg out about Lucas working for the navy and other incoherent, unsourced malarkey without proofs you make us and by extension the left look like fucking idiots. If you don't beleive me go look at a Holla Forums thread and see what a bunch of fucking idiots they look like when they autistically screech every time George Soros breaks wind. There are plenty of things to bitch about (conditions in the factories making the merch, Disney shitting the EU, Luuke drinking crotchtit jizz, etc.) without making up obvious bullshit and REEEEEEEEEing when asked for proofs of your outlandish claims.

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere

I'm not the user you're talking to. I'm just saying you give way too much of a fuck

The only good Star Wars movie is the latest one for pissing off every single unbearable Star Wars fan and telling them everything they love is wrong.

That is what every subsequent movie in this shitty cash cow should do. Perpetually edge their fans into flowing droves into theaters only to tell them that they're idiots, they're man children, and the morals they took from a movie are retarded

t. slaveboy who lived in a shitty sand planet his whole life and has probably never talked to a female other than his mom.
youtube.com/watch?v=1JOUfAKQyf0

...

that's just a marketing technique to appeal to contrarians though.

Allot of them are kotor kiddies, who expect star wars to be like a anime.

and yet I don't give a fuck what you think, isn't it ironic?


oh, so you're taking an actual fact and stretching it like goatse's anus, that's totally different then

I like how everyone just goes with the idea Anakin Skywalker was a virgin birth with surprise and total acceptance. Not like, you know, that's a pretty big claim there that you just had a kid out of nothing but magic, we should probably approach this skeptically

No never mind the kid has too many plot holes in his blood, it is written that plot hole infused blood is a mark of the chosen one who will save our useless cult and be this generation's Thomas Jefferson, it must be true

oh wait, fuck it's Darth Vader, god damn it if only we were psychic

But KOTOR did that whole "everything you love is fucking stupid and you are stupid too" thing as well.

It wasnt edgy enough for them.

I don't care, there are contrarians in this thread talking about how the movie with the greedy Green Chinamen was good, we might as well make a movie about how everything about this series sucks balls.

I mean what else can you do. With the prequels everything in the continuity of these fucking movies they couldn't let well enough alone has plot holes. You might as well just say fuck it Samuel L Jackson was a really stupid asshole and so was the other guy with the five head and this is all their fault for being retarded

Because that's what happened

shouldn't (you) be dying your hair or menstruating or something?

Oh wow what a hot take. What's your twitter handle? You should go on chapo.
Love

the

spacing

too

by

the

way.

And you you get it.

A hot take is something controversial. Saying that Star Wars: Episode Air Bud was dumb is not a hot take.

Is Republic Commando edgy?

youtube.com/watch?v=Q1iILUNmNJI

incorrect actually

Listen, what do you even want out of a fucking star wars movie at this point. Do you want Rey to save the day and be Luke Skywalker's failed abortion, and Kylo Ren to throw Emperor 2: Electric Bugaloo down the drain like in Jedi because omg that scene was classic!

And she has to escape the twelfth Death Star the Empire has made at this point because it's exploding before running into a dying Kylo Ray and telling her "Jar…Jar….Jar Jar….he was the key to all of this…"

The fact you call Star Wars Episode Blew the Budget on Costume Design cutesy is very funny to me.

I liked how the overall message was "obey authority." Bravo Disney. Also I loved the Hillary stand-in. Really made me think.

Thrawn? Antilles? Katarn? Jade? Vong? Buehler? Pretty much everything in Dark Empire or 90% of the other Dark Horse comics? Not everything in the EU is good (Sun Crusher, Green Space Bunny Furries, etc.), but there's plenty even Disney would have a tough time of fucking up.

Although Sith Lord Jar Jar would be funny enough I'd be okay with it

I didnt live up to the vague fanfiction they had set up in their minds. They cant really articulate it because it varies from person to person. They dont understand that this is the begining of a new era and its not really centered around the original characters anymore.

Sad! Many such cases!

If a new hope came out today, they would be calling leia a hillary stand in or some femmenist insert.

YUUZHAN VONG PRIMITIVISM IS THE FUTURE

I don't think it was obey authority. I think it was criticizing the fans and screwing with their expectations. Lightning McSpeed Starflyer goes up against a giant fleet of fucking ships and everyone expects him to save the day because he's spunky and Lightning McSpeed Starflyer but he doesn't because he's a fucking retard who thought that was a good idea and got everyone killed, like in an actual war.

It gave the audience everything previous movies did, and said, oh hey, you know how every one of these stupid fucking ADHD space battles ends well. It wouldn't end well, they're all dead, good job.

It takes every previous plan, basically, that somehow ends up working, and tells the audience they were retarded for expecting anything good to come out of this.

And the movie is sub par, I admit, but it's commitment to shitting all over the audience is admirable to me. I didn't see it as "obey authority" so much as taking one of these dumb movies and showing the audience that romanticizing war with flashy effects where the heroes always win is boring as fuck and if this series is centered around a war, then people should die and the tropes this series is full of should have consequences for their blatant stupidity.

I know it's sub par, but I like the subversiveness of it insulting the neckbeards who came in expecting everyone to come out ok because that's what always happens. The cool jet jock somehow wins a battle against an entire fleet of ships, Luke Skywalker is still a nice guy who doesn't drink green space cum, nobody dies, and someone saves the day, and Rey is somebody's affair child, and then she fucks the black guy while another death star explodes.

I hate star wars fans and the fact they tried subversive for the first time since Empire, I admire the effort, though didn't enjoy the movie or this stupid franchise.

Is snoke a vong?

Nothing, fuck Star Wars and fuck Hollywood.

What?

Agreed. I never said I liked the movie on its own. I said I admire it shitting on everything these neckbeards expected and cared about in the franchise. I admired they wrote Luke and Yoda to almost look directly at the camera and say "Look at these fucking nerds hahahaha they'll pay for the sequel to this"

But it didn't do this. Like at all. You are projecting your contrarian twitter shit onto it.

Snoke is Luke Skywalker's son. Plot twist of the century, I love this twist, I love this franchise

but Leia was attractive, charismatic, wasn't openly contemptuous of everyone on her side, didn't breathe plague in the faces of small children and old Clone Wars vets, had actual plans for getting shit done, and was willing to put her own life on the line to accomplish those plans. She was on the receiving rather than the giving end of torture. And most of the people Leia had quietly killed were imperialists and porkies and not whistleblowers. Also she grew as a character over the course of 5-10 in-universe years. You're not very good at damage control, Mickey.

You understand this is at best a marketing ploy to get good reviews from liberal movie reviewers, right?

maybe the Skywalkers are a loop in time like that one guy who knocked himself up with himself in that Philip K Dick story

Star Wars is for children.
Read Simmons.

It did. Luke didn't fight, he died. Flying directly into a fleet got everyone killed. Disobeying strategy to save the day got everyone killed. Trying to find the McGuffin Man, again, instead of saving the day, got everyone killed.

Yoda and Luke says the Jedi were stupid as hell and we made a mistake because there's another asshole who says power every other sentence is still there and nobody saw that coming because relying on tradition (canon) didn't lead them (the franchise) anywhere, it's all recycled because the past attempts to stop it (the franchise) failed.

It's fucking right in front of you. The meta elements of saying Star Wars is stuck sucking its own dick for all eternity and probably needs to change it up somehow is all right there.

I don't give a fuck about the movies so why should I care. It pissed off the fans of this dumb series and that's fine by me.

(pol liking the ""I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere" movies fits because all of them have ADHD)

Snoke is The Golden Man. He fucks.

Snoke is Rey's father, screencap this

Luke saved the day. Rey saved all of the ancient Jedi texts. Liberal democracy survived to fight another day, as did the jedi. You are just high on all the nerd rage. Go back to weird twitter and pretend like it's still 2014 and your catty opinions matter.

Man, if only you were a Holla Forums mod.

So Benis Sandals broke off and took the Katana Fleet with him? Cool.

Without a gratitous light saber fight everyone throws their popcorn at the screen for.

Because JJ Abrams probably insisted it, listen I don't give much of a fuck about the last 5 minutes I spaced out

there's like, twelve rebels left

I can't wait for another movie where we get to explore the kid who grabbed a fucking broom with the force. I want a movie where we watch him sweep it with his mind

I gotta admit I am. These people are unbearable and watching them suffer is fun.

She only had a problem with poe

so how do you feel about the underperformance of Ghostbusters 2016?

Remember in Episode 3 when Yoda met Chewbaka (because it's like poetry if every fucking character met each other 20 years ago) and Yoda has to leave the random ADHD battle scene because Sheev "4-D Chess" Palpatine is killing random Jedi we saw in Episode 2 in a scene George Lucas clearly meant for us to get emotional about, and he told Chewbacca

“Miss you I shall, Chewbecca”

I'm crying just remembering that bastard Sheev destroyed their love affair

I think I'm glad Sony Pictures is getting eaten alive by Dingos

No I don't. I don't watch movies made for children's merchandising. Tell me about the latest Transformers movie, volunteer-kun.

Was Yoda top, or bottom. We will never know because of Sheev.

Yes. We know. You've posted in this thread several times stating that fact.

I watched it once as a kid because my friends dragged me into it in 2005. It's been a good 12 or 13 years since I've seen it. But I remember clearly Yoda saying "Fam, Chewbakka, my favorite fatty thot, my delicious big thotty, I'm going to miss you, and your thotty race"

I think that scene was meant to indicate that lukes story isnpired people. and that somewhere down the line theres going to be a timeskip, where this kid is a jedi, considering that theres going to be new star wars movies every year or two.

It's like poetry, it rhymes

Because nobody gives a fuck or are too afraid to help the resisntance, no one answered their distress calls. The first order (empire) are coming back in control again.

Kreia was the only good thing to come out of this shitty franchise

Anyone else find it weird how Disney avoided any direct references to the political situation other than to imply that the republic was somehow overthrown/gone? A bit strange.

Real talk: Kreia's little monologues made me realize that Star Wars was fucking stupid and basically ruined the entire franchise for me (which I guess is a good thing since it is liberal as fuck.)

honestly why even try to debate Holla Forums, they'll just embarrass themselves anyways

it's probably a really shitty hamfisted analogy for Drlrn Blimph

go fuck yourself; that was the best part of the movie

Can I just say the decision to completely invalidate the movies they're going to "tribute" by reviving the Empire is the most fucking uncreative decision I've ever seen in franchise making

This is dumber than the fucking Jurassic Park sequels

I can come up with an idea that's more interesting in two seconds. Have the New Republic succumb to the Sith in a silent coup or some shit, and the new rebellion has to fight them, and the Republic calls them empire sympathizing terrorists, when the opposite is true. Make it a play on current American politics on its obsession with terrorism and how freedom can only be won through strength, have the population slowly grow to accept the Dark Side through two decades of propaganda, and no evidence that the opposition has that the whole thing is a sham. Luke is part of the insurrection and his name is gone down in history as a terrorist. Make the final "episode" have a scene that offends everyone in the government by having a character assassinate the Prime Minister or whatever the fuck you want to call it, while he talks about how he destroyed the insurrection in a George Bush "Mission Accomplished" type way. Then have the New Republic break down into actual sith factions, seemingly having their entire plan back fire. But instead, it was the pplan to keep the galaxy free to make its own choices and its own states, instead of being ruled by despots like the two previous movies suggested was the ultimate solution to any conflict.

I may not like the new movie either, but I appreciate it for pointing out how stupid the expectations of the audience were to expect another movie where the heroes save the day with the same antics, how stupid the plot to this series is, and how absolutely ridiculous it is we're making another movie about the same antagonist from the first movies.

but it made Mark Hammill dead inside even more than the softcore skinemax porn he did on the 90s

its star wars though, its never been that smart

It was the best part of the movie. He made an elephant seal ejaculate.

It would have been if David Lynch made Jedi. If he managed to make it as silly as Dune, none of these movies would be happening right now, and I would love the shit out of it.

You'll never get past the censors

Sir, I've posted in several boards stating that fact. Get your facts straight.

This movie is just further proof that neoliberal feminism still has yet to run its course.

I don't think it is possible to enjoy star wars after kotor 2 anymore

even if we look at the banal cool factor, triumvirate makes every other sith or jedi look like a fucking babbie

I genuinely like it because it's like a small glimpse into what a freakier, more surreal Star Wars could be see:

Fuck off Max Landis nobody likes you or your orc cop movie

He became an eccentric hermit like yoda

they opposed the socdem-stalinist machinations of the imperial heroes.
little known fact: the death star was infrastructure investment to ensure full employment.


t. weirdo who still has faith in the current political economy to produce anything worthy of consumption
new cultural production should be made as terrible as possible to punish those who consume it tbh.


cringe.
the very first part could be funny ironically but even if ironic there's no excusing the last part.

Buts thats star wars

great argument, please post more of them you're so intelligent

That's pretty pathetic. tbh I feel sorry for you if that's the best thing you can do with your evening. Maybe try a hobby?

don't know what part of my post you're getting at
i am indeed very intelligent though (it's the free university tuition provided by social democracy.)

It only takes 10 seconds to post "Star Wars is for children." There's plenty of time in the day, user.

The only thing I hated about this movie was Rey. Everything else was pedestrian star wars stuff. Also DJ did nothing wrong.

lol ar u gay?

I like the fact that her parents are scum and not some super secret jedi family.

...

Empire is the only good movie in this franchise because it's the only movie in the series that doesn't shove down your throat that we need a benevolent wizard despot one way or another. We need space King Arthur or its the Fascist Grandpa. It was also the movie George Lucas was least involved with and it shows. It actually has war in it where people fucking die and the hero gets injured.

What I've always found interesting is the plan during the production of Empire was to have the final movie set on the Empire's home base, their capital world. They watched Blade Runner and were convinced ILM could do an even better job, and what do you know after George Lucas said he "Hated the idea" he fucking recycled it for the prequels.

The rebels and the empire would face off, but Luke puts himself directly in harms way because he understands that while the Empire wants the rebels dead, he knows his father and especially the Emperor want him more. They surround them eventually and make them surrender Luke, which he does willingly. They travel to the dark Subterranean lair of the Emperor. I believe at this point they still had him as an alien, and he could only survive in the hottest environments. As they travel down the underground palace, surrounded by guards of I believe the same race as the Emperor, Luke questions his father why he joined the Dark Side, and they were supposed to have an intense debate where Vader loses his temper at the contradictions of his ideology, what the nature of strength is, and how could he be master of himself in a Nietzschean sort of way if he only works to obey a man that's basically using him as a hand puppet.

The emperor orders them to duel in his chamber surrounded by lava, Vader almost kills Luke, slashing him up the chest nearly cutting him open, and Luke refuses to fight. The emperor is furious with Vader for almost killing his prized Trophy, and he repeats the debate he had with Luke. As the emperor gets more frusterated, Vader basically says "I would kill my son before I ever let him be the slave you've made me and the galaxy, you are a weak old man, a man who's only able to hide in caves and demand what the world should be. I know now I was wrong to believe you, you have no power over me. You filled me with hate, and if it is hate you want, I will kill my son, and leave you with nothing. You are the architect of your own demise. Will you kill me next? What are you without me but a scared old man who cannot leave his cave."

This sufficiently pisses the emperor off and he force grabs Vader's life support until he screams, forcing father and son to fight. It goes down like the end of Jedi, except instead of Luke throwing his light saber away, it's Vader. He throws it into the lava. Grabs the emperor and asks him how well he's trained his apprentice, for he's felt hatred never before this intense. The emperor begs for mercy, crying out without him the Empire would be doomed, and he's nothing without him. Vader simply replies something like "I know the power you trained me for, and I know the hate you have infested in me. You want my son, and I hate you for it. You want everything I ever gave up for you, and I hate you for it. You killed the mother of my children, and I hate you for it. You seperated my children, and I hate you for it. You've made me hurt my son, and I will never forgive you for it. You have made a great mistake, underestimating how well you have trained me to hate. I hate you." And he gets dunked head first into the lava. With the emperor gone, so is his sway over the Galaxy. But the palace starts to collapse. Luke similarly begs Vader to join him, but it was apparently more emotional, Luke sobs that he always knew his father was special, and that he would do anything to save him. Vader forgives him for everything he has done, but it's far too late. Bury me in the Earth, and let the galaxy learn from his mistakes, and remember him for the Villain he was. The Galaxy will never forgive him for his war crimes, and Luke sobs and escapes. I believe there was another ending where Luke stays with his father and refuses to leave, and they die together as father and son as the palace collapses.

In this ending, Vader, the Emperor, Luke, the force, it all becomes myth and legend, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away. Fitting the tagline.

George didn't like this so we got Ewoks and a main character as a borderline sex slave in a plot that has no reason to be in the film instead. Because he was miffed it was too downbeat and wouldn't sell, and there were too many humans. He basically canned the script everyone on Empire was working on because toys sell well. And it's why he had more creative control over the movie than any previous. Interesting he stole so much of the setting for his prequels.

They were at a stage of production they even made concept art for this movie and started designing sets.

...

I also believe this was the script that they considered David Cronenberg or David Lynch to make, for obvious reasons.

now i'm mildly irritated that there's a plot summary that sounds interesting enough to watch and it's not an actual movie.

Calm down nerd

Star wars is just a scifi popcorn flick, relax.

There's an ocean of concept art for the script if it makes you feel any better.

That you can at least imagine a better movie without ewoks save the day and a plot about the heroine being subjugated as some sort of sex symbol/sex slave, and millions more toys getting sold, instead of a movie that had an actual ending that tied up the whole theme of the series being a legend from a time long ago nobody will ever remember but in whispers and legends.

And we get these shitty cash grab sequels

It's less about me giving a shit about Star Wars and more me giving a shit George Lucas changed the ending of his own franchise in order to maximize profits of toys and merchandising that became the blue print for the mega industry of Hollywood.

In the end, Star Wars has no message that has a thematic consistency, that's my point. At one point it did, it could have wrapped itself up nicely by leaving everything to be myth and legend as was intended. You know, what fit. A fantasy from a long long time ago, nobody remembers. But Lucas didn't think it would sell the all too important toys and would turn off kids.

Which I was just explaining that this one change, shifted Hollywood into high gear once they realized Ewok toys sell like hot cakes.

And having no shame whatsoever he stole the settings of the movie he thought was "stupid and unmarketable" into his prequel movies that were 2 hour long toy advertisements. That made the problem even worse.

And this is all George Lucas' fault.

Well yeah merchandising will always be inevitable, especially when you reach cultural phenom status.

Yeah, but the extent at which he changed the script so drastically because of his irritation to make a possible toy pop up every 5 seconds, really did influence everything that would follow in Hollywood worse than it already did. George just said "ah fuck it, I need that toy cash, I need it now, I need the fucking toys damn you" to everything he wanted this to be, and then the prequels , that George isn't stupid He was inspired to make something unique, and cap it with a fairy tale ending. Then he decided his inspiration was stupid and toys were where its at.

But it's not really this that's insulting, it's everything he's ever been involved with past Empire was made SPECIFICALLY to test the waters on how hard Hollywood could merchandise and how much money he could make for it. Therefore creating Hollywood as it is today.

You could say it was always like that, and that's completely fair, but the degree to which he remade the planned movie that artists worked two fucking years on, into a gigantic marketing commercial for Hollywood is shockingly rapacious. And the worst part is it worked. I think there was rumors all the artists but Ralph got jack shit for their efforts.

Film is ruined and its all Lucas' fault because he is the mother of all Hollywood bastards.

corporate profits I guess.

Oh wait no…

I don't get it. I just don't get it. How can anyone give a glowing review for this steaming pile of dogshit? Forget about everything Star Wars, this stinker fails at much more basic storytelling levels, not just once or twice, but along the line. Are all the critics bought?

Just look at this: there is an A plotline with Rey and Luke, and a B plotline with everyone else. And what do they do? They add one not one but two pointless subplots to the fucking B plot, with the casino planet and the mutiny (three if you count the ending with the cannon). You don't do that shit! This isn't the Wire, it's a two hour film, you can't be giving us all these scattershot vignettes and still come out with something coherent at the other end.

That's not even getting into the stalled overall plot progression, aborted character development, plot holes, lazy writing, failed comedy, tonal issues throughout, absence of a serious threat throughout, and the total lack of care given to the world building. "Evil Empire, good Rebels" works perfectly when you're shooting your first film, but by number VIII, you really have to do better than that. George Lucas at least tried.

He totally is, as is Jackie Chang.

no thanks

Probably yeah. This has become super pervasive, especially when you're dealing with these large-scope corporate projects.

Hell is for those who enjoy life on Earth

Sure thing buddy.

Star Wars is still a story about how massive galaxy-spanning wars occurring over generations are really just proxy conflicts between two sects of an ancient religion. The first being ascetic dogmatists who indoctrinate children, view emotions as a threat to their order and generally favor liberal democracy with maybe a little constitutional monarchy on the side with them "influencing" politics. The second being hedonistic randroids with crypto-fascist tendencies who favor authoritarian governments with them directly in charge.

This has been the same between both Disney and Lucas. Both have made creative decisions fans didn't like and both have pandered to the fans. I don't know what the fuck people think Lucas putting lightsabers and ridiculous force powers everywhere while making the plot all about Darth Vader was if it wasn't blatant pandering to the fans.

I also don't get how people think the new ones are political beyond the purely symbolic gesture of having a woman and brown/black guy as protagonists.

This is why KotOR II was the only good Star Wars story, because it was the only one which acknowledged that these constant forced reruns of the same religious conflict for the sake of some absurd notion of 'balance' is fucking retarded and that the Galaxy would be better off without the Force.

Alderaan was the Saudi Arabia of Star Wars

You have to see it not as a weapon, but a tool to extract minerals out of the mantle of a planet, by reducing it to bite-size bits.

prequels: what Holla Forums says it reads, but has no idea of what is inside.
NUwars: what Holla Forums says it reads, wants you to read but has only watched yt video referencing the book, made by a faggot who didn't read it.

To be fair, that's what the latest one at least attempted. Luke basically flat out said "Every Jedi in the prequels were dumb fucks, they were beyond stupid, complete fuck ups, used the blood of kings rhetoric to restrict the use of the force to a tiny few, they were war mongering fools, navel gazing pacifists when it was politically convenient, not fixing anything besides training child soldiers, and now we're here. Because all of them were gay. They truly suck"

He didn't say all of it, but how he referred to the entire order as "Old fools" and force ghost Yoda burning down the sacred texts and saying, you know you're right, we fucked up. The next generation should decide for themselves.

Is kind of a new spin on the prequels as a very long episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm that results in the rise of fascism.

I know this is a shitty excuse, but you keep saying it was all pointless. M8 I think that's the point.

I have reason to believe it wasn't down to bad writing because Johnson also wrote and directed Looper, which was great and every bit of it was pretty well thought out.

I'm fairly sure he did this on purpose, if he succeeded is up to debate, but he was going for the futility of fighting an empire. That just going up against forces vastly superior to you arrogantly can sometimes score a victory…but often times leads to massive amounts of death and everything was for nothing.

More art from the originally planned cap on the original trilogy. Still interesting to me that Lucas called the script "shit", made the mediocre last one with borrowed elements, and took entire settings from the script he called shit. I think that's called being a fucking hack.

At least they planned on making the Empire's capital have a whole Gothic Architecture with Brutalist flair going on in concept, where Lucas just straight lifted Blade Runner when he stole the idea he thought was "shit"

Last one is one of the few available sketches of the scripted scene where Vader takes Luke further and further down the bowels of the planet to the Emperor's sanctum/palace. Luke put himself directly in harms way in front of the fleet in order to surrendered himself in order for the Rebel's to escape a colossal failure, and confront his father once and for all.

As they walk down, they discuss what is Jedi, what is Sith, and both have equally compelling points, but where Vader fails the argument is his idea that his power is absolute, and not in control of another system, which infuriates him and leads to his later confrontation with the Emperor.

What I find interesting about the idea behind all of this is in it, the Dark Side really did succeed. But, not in the way that it was expected. It was unsustainable. The morale would be all sorts of evil that manifest themselves in fascism, etc, it's all self destructive just as any outburst of anger is.

This was changed in order to make more merchandise.

The Palace

The corridor into the throne room

The throne room itself, and the Emperor. Who appeared far more supernatural.

Damn you eyes for making me effortpost about Star Wars, user. What you describe is certainly not a bad point in principle. You can make a compelling story about fighting a superior foe and only barely coming out of it alive despite momentary successes. Of course they already did that in Rogue One, so right of the bat you here fall into the trap of entirely re-threading, a hallmark of neoSW.
But even though it can work in principle, let us look at how they executed it. The main plot is one fleet being chased by another. This is already more than enough narrative terrain in which to explore the issue, and you can even do it by staging a succession of space battles, something the fanbase absolutely adores. What happened in stead however, is that this aspect of the plot is curtailed by a series of incredibly poor sleighs of hand in the writing. The most egregious one was the exposition concerning why the imperial fleet could chase but not gain on the rebels ships, with the almost comical barrage from afar. This totally closes of the dynamic of move-counter move on the level of the actual space chase, and the vacuum left over is in stead filled with the before mentioned subplots. They are shoe-horned in with a lazy writing device, and on top of that were not very compelling or well executed in themselves.

To be clear, they could have done it otherwise and could have done it well. The difficulty of overcome a strategic disadvantage with tactical moves is a compelling arc. If only they made the actual space chase engaging. If you want a contemporary example of this kind of scenario, look no further than the opening episodes of the 2003 Battlestar Galactica series. In stead we got a convoluted mess.

Most maddeningly, some of the elements were there. The commander of the imperial dreadnought in the opening scene would have been a good antagonist in this scenario; the actor did a good impression of an actually competent fleet commander suddenly parachuted into the comically inept neoSW universe. But that gets blown up quickly so we can move on to the casino planet.

Please avoid posting with the Volunteer code unless it is directly relevant to the post.

For Christ sake! has forbs always been this bad? why is it that all of their writers are such fucking intellectual infants? Do they just scoop any "rational centrist" type dumb cunt off the fucking street and have him smash his sloped amerimutt forehead on a fisherprice key board until what comes out is somehow fucking legible for other dumb cunt retard libs across the fucking intellectual wasteland that is the u.s?
I use to think that only third world revolutions required an intellectual vanguard to reach revolution, but fucking amerimutts must need one just to tell them not to fucking cough while they piss or else they might shit on the fucking bathroom floor.

AMERICANS, FIX THIS SHIT NOW!

Who in their right mind would refer to Star Wars films as instances of cinematic artistry?

Damn bitch, that sounds like a good movie.

The Content Farm format is much more economically viable than whatever they were doing in the pre-Gawker era. Sophomoric hack writers who pepper their 'thinkpieces' with verbal discourse markers and millennial slanguage or toothless profanity are much more affordable than actual journalists. That's where we're at.

Tbh KotOR completely destroys the series by exposing for what it is:
Dumb religious space wizards that are predestined to rule due to the Master Race Gene, whatever posibilities it could have had to provide an actual compelling story was buried with Lucas and his shekel-sniffing actions. SW is the most obvious proof that capital destroys artistic achievement and fuckin amerimutts cant get enough of it. What posted is an infinately better version but dumbcunt seppos will never want to hear the end of how nuEU is "class conscious" or whatever disgusting thing they regurgitate next. Lucas was the worst thing to happen to Star Wars.

[Spoiler]I fuckin love SW man, this shit sucks, fuck Lucas and fucn Didney[/spoiler]

They aren't fighting an empire though. they're fighting paramilitary terrorists.

The Forbes website is 90% "contributors" not actual Forbes writers. They do still have Forbes writers, but there's a lot of space Forbes writers will never bother with.

It's a fun action flick and it still manages to build up wonder in me. I don't know, but I watched it as a child, and I loved it and still do. Also, now that I'm going to be a father, the dynamic of Darth Vader and Luke speaks to me. I will be that Sith lord.

Why would one man's death destroy the empire's war machine when they had complete control of the galaxy?

You're dumb as hell, who the hell goes to a Star Wars movie for a "subversive" message?

"Dude I love how this ice cream cone like, subverts the eaters expectations by having a pine nut in the middle of it!"

Never mind that none of what you said is true anye.

Don't mind them. They are just regurgitating the weird twitter party line.

I liked the subplotes. It gives us a glimpse into what civillian and regular life is like on other planets.

If you watch Clone Wars, you basically see the CIS are in fact like, center-left social democrats. I mean, they're liberal as fuck, but they're legit better than the republic which was based on the Bush Administration.

I recently rewatched TFA and it was genuinely good until it became clear they're playing it safe the entire time and Rey started pulling force powers from nowhere. The beginning was set up nicely especially with Rey. Just how long there's no dialogue while she did what she always does and letting us absorb the scenery. I wish the whole movie was like that. I'm only a casual viewer so I'm fine with SW staying a simple sci-fi adventure and one can always slip politics and philosphy in between the lines. But it's Bayformers 1 all over again. Great opening and it's all downhill from there.

I think the First Order could have easily been more compelling. It should be clear that the FO was the underdog whose future hangs on the success of a secret superweapon. Their missions must be carried with the utmost haste and discretion. No moustache twirling and no "Resistance". The reveal of Starkiller Base would have been the tipping point as it destroys a bunch of the new Republic's political and military bases. We then finally get a glimpse of the FO fleet in the ensuing battle. The Republic only manages to cripple SB and retreats with heavy casualties due to lack of proper information and planning. This way, the tension builds up in the sequel as they try to gather intel and mount a proper assault before the inevitable second blast. Hell, maybe they still get chased in the way described. It's still a Death Star plot but it would only serve as the backdrop.

Aside from the forced moments, I think Boyega did great. Relieves some worries for Uprising. Poe is just extremely likeable. Now we get to Rey. They could have just as easily played up her resourcefulness or whatever else for her escape and make the lightsaber pull her first use of force powers. Would tie in nicely with her levitating a large rock at the sequel's finale if you want to keep that. Honestly, I like Ren and am a complete sucker for a Redeemed Kylo route with or without a Dark Rey. I don't know how but it has to happen. Those two were the best parts of TLJ and "letting the past die" could have meant something. Actually, I do have a much more radical idea centred around Snoke. Like I said though, I barely know the SW universe so it's probably even more dumb.


Amazing.

Funny to see all the disney shills resorting to the "it's bad on purpose" line. Reminds me of Ghostbusters (2016). Capitalism is finally killing late 20th century culture.

No, that's what makes it bad, retard. Deconstructing something doesn't make you clever, it just makes you like every other hack working today. I'd like to see these faggots actually try to construct something of their own instead of deconstructing other people's art.

Who the fuck do they think they are? Dave Strider?

No, it was shit from the get go. Finn's character and motivation didn't make any sense. Apparently he was brainwashed from birth to be a stormtrooper, but then he just randomly decides to "do the right thing"

How would he know what the right thing is when his only source of knowledge would have been Imperial propaganda that would be found on Imperials bases and ships? Why is he so gung-ho to start killing other stormtroopers when he seemed sad about the stormtrooper in the beginning who was shot? His character fundamentally doesn't make sense and isn't believable. Then you have him calling Han Solo a war hero, which once again makes sense, he knows things that his character shouldn't know, just because the audience knows those things.

What ideology did THX 1138 have?

Anti-totalitarian, generic pro-liberty, pro-freedom tier stuff.

I think the problem with Finn is that Boyega's acting is a mismatch for the writers' intent for the character. He plays Finn as enthusiastic and gung-ho like he's a kid who's getting to appear in Star Wars, when the writing for him implies that he's not really sure where he belongs. This gets emphasis in TLJ where Benicio del Toro shows him how war profiteering works, making him consider what the sides mean. He finally identifies himself as "rebel scum" when he fights Phasma, which is obviously meant to close out the arc. It could have worked but the signs that Finn was conflicted were so small that John Boyega, J.J. Abrams, and anybody whose job it was to advise them on the script all missed that he was written as a conflicted character.

Or in revisions they forgot to change those elements.

Well considering that this was the guy who was originally supposed to play Finn (and the role was written for him), and then JJ decided he wanted a black guy instead just for the fuck of it, yeah, that's probably true.

Honestly, the entire role makes more sense once you understand who the original actor was supposed to be. They ruined the aesthetic of their own film by making the defecting Nazi a black guy instead of a blonde haired guy who looks like a Nazi. Disney has been massively incompetent with everything they've done.

Yeah, that's shitty acting. Actually, that isn't even acting, it's just playing himself, which is fucking awful.

The "Rebel scum" thing doesn't make any sense either, since the "Rebels" are the ones who were ruling the galaxy, and the entire set-up for the Empire taking over again doesn't make any sense at all.

Seriously though what is Disney's end game here? Or do they not really care about overall quality since Star Wars fans don't give a shit about good movies and will buy literally anything associated with the franchise?

I don't like the new ones at all. At least with George you could tell he was aiming for something. It was retarded, but he wanted to do it. TFA, was pretty bland, and I hated it. The new one, tries to go in a different direction, but it seems the only people that like it, do so because they hate the fans. So really, nobody that liked the original trilogy or the expanded universe would like Disney Wars. Not that it matters. Cheap pop culture like this will fade away one day and we'll discuss real art, like online memes. :^)

They don't have an endgame, they put an neolib porky who thinks through her vagina in charge of a franchise for boys. They set themselves up for failure from the starting line.

"Episode 5, again" is not a different direction from "episode 4, again."

That would explain all the Leia dick sucking.

I thought the movie made it clear that he was scared. He kept making shit up as he tries to get away up until a certain point. Look, the writing could obviously be better but I appreciate the fact that this aspect of him was played up instead of being dropped immediately.

When I think about it, it seemed like he only was when he thought he was getting away. He was pretty decisive about leaving until Rey got captured. The movie was far gone by then but he did admit he's only in SB to save her. And I don't know about you but the moments when he got serious and down to earth are when he really shined.


We could have gotten a glimpse at the development of a non-space wizard/hotshot in the hellscape that is the SW universe. Now that TLJ is out, would an introspective take on SW, however unlikely, have caused equal amount of fan outrage?

I am surprised more people aren’t reacting to this.

how in the fuck did we go from this to hairy smurfs and making the heroine a humiliated potential sex slave, and he thought that was the higher caliber script

After all the work was put into the art already and the set design George just said nah fuck off

why didn’t the studio say no, it’s clear he neeeed to be reigned in again

what the fuck George Lucas

This all looks like it could have been increadible

What in the honest to god fuck was George Lucas thinking with this Jabba the Hutt Ewok bullshit. This script seems to remain tonally consistent with the conclusion of empire

Who the fuck let Lucas just decide he could recycle the worst ideas he had when he initially conceived Star Wars instead of the writers and artists who did more for the second movie than he ever did

I am so red mad and nude right now

The endgame is doing whatever they think will make the biggest profits at the time.

The endgame is obviously money, broad appeal, and making movies that can be seen without too much foreknowledge, all in the service of making even more money.


Lucas lucked into making a good movie with Star Wars, and had comparatively little to do with Empire. The problem with Jedi was Jorge himself.

Leia was literally Hillary in this piece of shit movie.

I wish neoliberals would stop making it so easy for poltards, but then the culture divide is probably on purpose

Just watched the movie. Found it rather "meh" (only watched it because I had made a previous agreement to watch it with my Grandfather).
I did enjoy the Snoke seen though

*scene. I'm sorry, I'm really tired today.

Snoke is anakins father.

Screencap this.

Gee, who could be behind these posts?

He didn't luck out with Star Wars, someone greenlit the movie on the first draft, and said, you know with some re-writes this can be pretty damn good, and he's inspired. Let's make this investment, American Graffiti was good, what can go wrong?

And once he started scripting further drafts, the studio said wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute, No. Han Solo was a frog man who constantly licked hips lips and was horny for human women, Luke was a middle aged man with a prosthetic limb, C-3PO talked like a used Car Salesman, it was a mess

They went rewrite after rewrite, in an act of studio interference that was actually good

So then they had the unedited final cut. The studio at this point, thought it was going to be a disaster. It was. Everybody in the first screening laughed at it, THE FUCKING CANTINA SCENE WAS 30 TO 40 MINUTES LONG. AND THIS IS AFTER THE DEMANDED REWRITES

They had to edit everything, against George Lucas' will and wishes.

They cut out significant portions, reorganized the final act.

And it was a smash success. And you know who took credit for all of it?

George fucking Lucas.

But since he almost had a heart attack of anger on the movie, he said fuck it, just let the studio do what it wants, I'll be a producer and an advisor. So Empire was made by talented people, and the whole time George was eating cheese burgers and smoking a joint. They were already writing and getting ready for the sequel that George vaguely mapped out during Empire that you see here



Then all of a sudden after Empire, George stamped his feet and said I WANT MY FUCKING SEX SLAVE LEIA AND GNOMES, GOD DAMN IT.

And unlike all the previous times, somehow, for some unholy reason, the studio said, ok George, make your movie, we'll hire a director that listens to your every whim. Just shut the fuck up already.

George made his movie with a diretor that was so enthralled with the man who did nothing for Star Wars that was credited in making Star Wars. It was meandering, messy, the plot had no thematic consistency, and what could have been a really good movie, became….certainly something.

George had won, beat the Studio through attrition, and made a mess. His next brilliant idea. I'm going to produce Howard the Duck.

Despite that hiccup, he was lauded as an autuer, even though he had about jack shit to do with any of the movies except for the last one.

And with his false sense of championship, he decided to revist the world he never created and made the Prequels, with no studio behind him telling him, "Uh, George, you can't make the Hadrosaur Frog sound like a southern slave stereotype", it was George Lucas. You couldn't say no to him anymore. After all he made Star Wars, right?

So with even less Studio oversight than the last fucking movie, he made 3 movies he always wanted to make, they sucked. And now Disney is trying to pimp out the legacy even more.

The lesson here: George Lucas was Mogwai. He comes with rules, don't throw water at him, don't feed him after midnight, and don't shine bright light in his eyes, and don't make his ego big. Or else he becomes a Gremlin.

George Lucas is the story of a man who made it by failing upwards, he kept writing terrible scripts that needed to be rewritten, edited; when everyone else was busy making the franchise, he sat back eating cheeseburgers until he decided he wanted it his way. There was absolutely no reason they let Lucas out of his play pen after the fiasco that was the first movie, they should have put him in an electric fence, because all of these sequels are his fault. This is the butterfly effect. You let one retard think he made something, and you create a money making dynasty.

I will never understand what he was thinking with fucking Jabba the Hutt

Hey screw you man that movie was sick. I love that a woman fucks a fast talking anthro duck in a mainstream movie

I admit, maybe I was wrong. But I forgot about Indiana Jones, which was mostly Spielberg.

The reason they never made the fourth for so god damn long is because initially George wanted it to take place in a fucking Haunted House. Then he decided Aliens, and it even then, it took over a decade of his stubbornness and money to finally get it made.

...

Watch THX-1138, American Graffiti, and his student films. You're a fucking idiot. The meme that Lucas has no talent and that Star Wars wasn't even his creation is a joke. Disney Wars proves that without Lucas, Star Wars is shit. He was what held it all together.

You turned off your mod tag, but it's clear you're the same poster as before. You seem to have a personal grudge against Lucas and that leads you to lying and making shit up. The sad part is that many anons will actually believe what you're saying.

I may be exaggerating a bit for the sake of entertainment, but I do admire his early student work, although I don't think American Graffiti was all that great, it wasn't bad either.

He's definitely more miss than hit as soon as he started the Star Wars project. And yes, as soon as that happened, he failed upwards massively. I don't know his exact involvement within Indiana Jones, but I'm fairly certain nearly all of it was Spielberg.

There's been endless stories about Lucas saying he's working on his next big original script only for it to never get made, with the exception of Red Tails; which was panned to mixed.

He's capable of being talented, but he needs someone to reign him in, and give him advice. Without it, he just goes out of the way to make it whimsical and goofy. To a fault.


I'm not a mod.

A New Hope had to be rewritten nearly 25 to 40 times, and by the time it was finished, they had to edit it and re-arrange the ending. Following this, he stood in the background with Empire, with Irvin Kershner, Lawrence Kasdan, and even Leigh Brackett being responsible for the film's narrative.

Lucas largely borrowed the plot points he suggested from the initial Leigh Brackett outline/1st draft, while saying it could be improved.

While this was going on, Lucas laid out what he thought would be a good ending to the series involving the Empire's home world of Had Abbadon, which another user already talked about in detail. Irvin Kershner, Lawrence Kasdan, and even the artists began working out how to bring such a sight to film. When they saw what Ridley Scott did with Blade Runner, they immediately realized that ILM could do even more with miniature sets and blue screen/red screen. Lucas began getting wary, as the Studio thought some of his ideas were complete nonsense, as was the case with A New Hope, which could have been an incredibly bad film had it not been edited properly.

This was not to be, and despite it wrapping up filming as a smash success, Lucas decided that Irven and Kasden's ideas based on his outlines were not good, "trashy", he liked the idea of the Empire being defeated by a lack of technology, not the force. Though elements of the original script survived, most of it was trashed, with settings recycled into the prequels.

George Lucas can be capable of being a good film maker, but without a simple plot, and without good input, he simply loses it. A film is made from an army of men, not a single man. Such is the case with Star Wars.

You're substantially underestimating the overall reorientation of Hollywood from the smaller independent director-driven movies of the mid- to late-sixties until the late-70s into the modern blockbuster-driven era.

Really, the original Star Wars trilogy (at least the first two) was one of the earlier era's last gasps and greatest successes. It's also a transitional movie, similar to Jaws, between those eras. It isn't that Star Wars has nothing to do with that transition, but Hollywood had already started veering in that direction due to the successes of previous spectacles and the ability for a few spectacles to turn massive amounts of profit as compared to the many much smaller films which turned relatively small profits and had greater risks of no return on the investment.

calling off the pursuit by police robutts because its over budget is the funniest thing in any Lucas flick

early 70's Lucas was p. effay tbh

Real men are fans of Star Trek, not a pointless space fantasy franchise that hasn't produced literally anything worthwhile since the original trilogy, except a few good videogames.

I'll probably watch the things just so I'm not completely disconnected from the consumerist zeitgeist, but we all know Empire Strikes Back was the peak for this brand.

Could we not?

That kid reminded me of Young Anakin in the Phantom Menace

According to the Chapo subreddit it was very leftist and a good film.

...

I'm not the only one convinced that this "buff Kylo Ren" shit is a forced meme being pushed by marketeers, am I?

yeah also he's a shitty army vet.

all of the dumb memes surrounding the movie are

I thought it was supposed to be making fun of how awkward he looked?

...

bro they are good memes

This. With the price of just one movie ticket, you too get to be part of the #resistance.

Someone archive dis shit

i guess it's true what they say, you know..

web.archive.org/web/20180105180147/https://8ch.net/leftypol/res/2329680.html
here you go

The prequels at least had good videogames. The Disney trilogy has a slot machine that was so bad some states are considering regulating them over it.

Some dude sent us a shitty chinese disk of Last jedi. It plays the movie instantly even if there's chinese subtitles

< Fascists and Bolsheviks are the same
I distinctly remember certain people having proper revolutionary attitude and claiming that both Liberals and Communists need to be gone, and a Third Wаy needs to be followed.

Does Zizek wants Fourth Way? Once wasn't enough?

Not a fourth way, a fourth position

So we are Hilary supporters, huh?

Holla Forums is whatever it has to be. It conforms to their insecurities.

The prequels are better than last jedi. The prequels were inept and boring, but the last jedi is barely even a movie.

Newsflash: Dugin was member of dissident organization in USSR of 1980s. It was called "Black order of SS".

I'd say it is still Third.

Hello, fellow leftist.

Good joke if ironic.

...

the absolute state of normiechan.

You know im super disappointed that the fish general wasn't the one to hyperdrive into Snoke and got killed in the opening

The First Order started out as paramilitary terrorists, but quickly built up the infrastructure to support an enormous military and a weapon that literally shits suns across hyperspace.

Said the same shit about the Temple of Doom

I never thought there would be a day when I would defend Eps. 1-3.


What did even happen in this movie? The first one I heard people talking about because it was a shameless rip-off homage of Ep. 4, but the talk about this one seems to have disappeared as soon as it launched. The only thing I see from it is memes obviously started by guerrilla marketers.


You really should read this. Also I think it's on video: archive.is/dBP4H


Too bad this tabloid practice is now the norm. Even CNN is doing it. Not that CNN wasn't shit like any other mainstream outlet, but they at least had the semblance of being professional.

Nah its justified because we got a #resistance strong independent woman at the lead!

Who would win:
Explaining your fucking plan so it doesn't create a mutiny
One purple hair gal

She wasn't even that bad of a character tho. It's not like ackbar had any fans left since the EU isn't canon anymore.

cmon fam

How many timelines was ackbar in anyway?

66

The "ben swolo" memes where they act like he's buff are probably astroturf and a response to the WIDE memes that were legitimate and meant to make fun of how the costume made him look. The whole thing with prequel, OT, and sequel memes is at the very least being prodded along by Disney shills, e.g. bots on twitter and reddit that boost the content.

well, 2, old EU and didney EU