Failing that, maybe I should just tell you about myself.
I'm 24, I live in Glasgow. I always knew there was something wrong with how things were, I was some kind of Libertarian Socdem. IKR but w/e. Anyway, around about my third year of university a girl I was madly in love with became violent and abusive. One time she attacked me and I defended myself. This happened a couple of times. I was loathe to call the cops on someone, eventually out of spite she called them on me when I had had enough and physically removed her from the apartment by pushing, she told them I had attacked her and failed to mention all the punches and kicks she had delivered on me. Needless to say the cops didn't even bother to question her about my accusations. I went to prison. I did 240 hours of community service.
I was at university at the time, for one of my classes I had to read Society of the Spectacle. It was in my studying of this book one night at 3 in the morning that I was finally able to wrap my head around this concept of alienation from Labour. Suddenly it was like a light had gone on. all of these other things started making sense. I got more into read radical books, I came across the notion of the owning class. Now that '1%' I was railing against suddenly became something different, it wasn't just that they were rich, it was that they had complete control.
This is two years later, I have chewed through most of the standard anarchist texts and some Marx. I've been researching imperialism, particularly cold war imperialism.
What you have to understand is the girl I loved had a shitty childhood and was extremely fucked up. I don't honestly think she was in control of herself a lot of the time. I think the issues that we had could have been resolved, only the police and courts refused to do anything logical at any point, she repeatedly tried to drop the charges and tell the proper story, they wouldn't allow her to change the statements made, my life was torn apart, I left uni with a substandard degree and basically lost all social contact. The process of waiting for court dates that would then get adjorned and for them to reject my evidence WITHOUT EVEN GOING TO VERIFY IT ONE TIME sent me into a spiral of depression. It got to the point where basically I either pled guilty to assault and got community service and the month or I could take it to trial, but at this point I was already in jail and I was told I could get out in a week if I pled guilty and took the community service or I could wait over a month for a trial date and i would likely get 3 months.
I tried suicide one time but then forced myself to throw up all the pills. In short, the state ruined my life. I was given first hand insight into just how ridiculous a mechanism it is for delivering justice, I was also shown from the inside of a prison exactly how criminals come to be criminals. I was the odd one out, I had a good background. Almost everybody in there came from care as a kid, had mental health issues and was addicted to Valium. The only people that were not like this were the big gangsters or gangster hang ons who sold the drugs,these were the extremely violent people, the only difference is they would do cocaine instead of downers. I was only in for one month but it showed me enough to know that our society is rotten to its very foundations.
I cut myself off from everybody. For about a year all I did was shitpost here and do community service and work in a coffee shop not talking to anyone.
Then I realised, why am I the one sitting in the dark hating myself, why should I continue to be a victim of this mechanism? Why should all these people who have lived in an economic prison their whole lives now stew in a literal prison while the real criminals wear the wigs and put them away?
Why should white man be pitted against black for the profit of the worst scum on earth?
Why should the entire population of earth slave for this same class, toil every day, sweat and bleed, suffer, have strained relationships, stress, sickness, discomfort, while these people live in opulence.
My depression turned into anger and my anger has now turned into the NEED to act and I need you to act with me. Please.