Ok, that makes a lot of sense. Now there is a bigger problem, could it be that, as we go deeper into the fetish void, our political views are also radicalized? Not necessarily as a result of reading theory and experiencing it in reality, but solely as as a result of the further desire for a stronger fetish desire, what lacan would call the jouissance, extreme enjoyment?
Ok, now, as I am sure, since I am also an anarchist, but im into femdom, that both our political views/self-theory and our fetish didn't start from an extreme position, I assume you first started finding enjoyment in oral sex, maybe facials. I ceirtainly did not search cbt or urethra plays when I was starting to get into it, I started with footjobs and stockings. The thing is I also did not start my anarchist self as an avid reader of Proudhon or Bakunin, so it seems as if both the paraphilia and the theoretical reaction follow each other?!?!
Zizek talks about the desire for desire itself in his perverts guide to ideology, about how the worst thing that could happen to a desire is to be fulfilled, so after experiencing minor femdom stuff I started to desire more, same with political theory, complaining about government banning weed was simply not enough, I wanted more
The problem here is, if paraphilias follow political theory, then it all makes sense, its just as you said, a desire to reject imposed order, but what if it's the opposite? What if we are forming a false reality, like what Adam Curtis talks about in HyperNormalisation, and we change our political views around that?
What if Marx, Lenin or Stalin were total Sadists and as a result they had the guilty desire of helping the "poor" proletariat? And after they gained control over them, became total madmen at the possibilities of fulfilling the most extreme sadist desires
What if the atrocities commited by communist regimes were caused not because of politics, economics and so on bug by an objective, extremely perverted, sexual desire? It could very much happen under capitalism, and it does fit! As I have talked with a findom Misstress who told me their slaves are bourgy as fuck and feel guilty of it, and after giving money to her, they feel cheated, betrayed and as a result want to hoarde more wealth!
The correlation is too scary to simply dismiss it
Now if I can ask you some questions
Why do you like the Dom role?
Do you feel powerless in regular life?
Do you think you are helping the submissive partner?
Do you think that, given power, you could be able to change society for good?