Nationstates Leftybol

hire cyberbullies.

I also started to play it a few years ago, and fuck, so far I have corrupt dictatorship which is full of old pedos and dank memes. I think I unintentionally created Holla Forums paradise

*few days ago

Wouldn't that be the option 2?

I don't think so, option 2 is direct government intervention to force schools to crack down on this through judicial means.

Alright

A flash mob caused a public health risk and thousands of labour vouchers in damage after being directed by an online user calling himself Flashy_G. Apparently, the stunt has left the affected area suffused with a choking stench and at least six terrified onlookers have been admitted to hospital with panic attacks and nervous breakdowns. Many of those impacted are demanding you take action.

“They can’t keep getting away with this,” states Chief of Police Luigi Takei calmly, eyes fixed on a slow motion playback of the incident’s CCTV footage. “This snot nosed little punk wasted an entire day’s worth of police time with unnecessary evacuations and dealing with panicking crowds. An online perpetual ID system should be used, so home-grown terrorists can’t hide behind their shrouds of anonymity.”

“I thought it was pretty funny,” says Barry Yalen, an itchy-looking teenager scratching at his crotch. “All he said was that it might be droll if a couple of thousand people all showed up to the mall on Tuesday the 18th at 11:32 am and did the Lice Bucket Challenge. He never TOLD anyone to do it. Just that, you know, it’d be funny if people did! You can’t start getting mad at people for saying something would be cool. Don’t step on our freedoms, man!”

“We shouldn’t infringe freedom of speech, but we need to do something,” grumbles janitor Clara Oz, wielding a pest-spray and mop. “As far as I’m concerned, it’s the kids who empty out buckets of bugs who need to be punished. If I told them to jump in front of a bus, would they do it? Personal responsibility is what I’m talking about - have the system sentence all two thousand of these idiots, and put them to community service making the nation a better place.”

“You know the real problem is how fast Flashy_G was able to spread chaos,” observes your Minister of Memetic Warfare, carefully replacing the ink cartridge in her fountain pen. “These little online social media apps can reach hundreds of thousands of people in seconds. That’s faster than the police can act or we can counter it. This could escalate from pesky teens spreading pests, to actual mobs destroying our government. On the other hand, if we can control the flow of information, then we can control the country. My people can secretly take control of the social media sites and track down this troublemaker and any others who emerge. Then, rather than silence them, we can adjust their activities to suit our needs.”

2nd, let the memes flow

3rd option obviously

Free speech.

the 3rd.

3rd option

anyone who 'milk jugs' should be summarily executed

...

Bumping. Whens the next issue?

While heading to your office in Leftybol City, you suddenly find yourself caught in a massive rally staged by angry taxi drivers protesting Fubar, a popular ridesharing service. As the demonstration blocks off all nearby streets, you are forced to hear the drivers’ respective demands.

“Fubar is destroying our business!” exclaims Alexander Garcia while trying to offer you a ride. “They charge cheap fares only because they don’t have to pay for registration, special number plates, and occupational insurance. That’s unfair. Fubar is dangerously unregulated. They don’t even perform background checks on their drivers! Do you really want these potentially dangerous drivers, who have no knowledge of the area, giving Leftybol a bad name to tourists? Ridesharing is anti-competition and a threat to public safety. It must be banned!”

“I think all this nonsense is nothing more than these taxi drivers being afraid of a little competition,” comments Fubar driver Elena English, while checking their phone for nearby rides. “People are sick of taxis; they have to wave their hands up and down like lunatics in order to get one, or spend three hours on call waiting, and we all know taxi drivers always look for ways to cheat you. With Fubar, a friendly driver is always available fairly quickly and all you need is a phone app. I implore you to use some common sense. Fubar is safe, convenient, and the way of the future!”

“You know, this wouldn’t be a problem if we had more public transit in our cities,” interjects bus driver Natalia Wiseau, while delaying traffic behind her vehicle. “Fubar and the taxis are both great services, but only for well-off citizens. People who barely make ends meet don’t have the luxury of affording a taxi to get around everywhere. It’s time to start investing in Leftybol’s infrastructure and public transit, so that everyone can go about their daily lives. Besides, everyone loves our environmentally friendly buses. They’re great for tourism and they’re about the only vehicle that is accessible to the handicapped. Not to mention our drivers are much nicer than any taxi driver.”

3rd option obviously.

3rd option. We magically have infinite cash despite our economy being in a state of collapse, so we might as well use it.

Also
Truly Leftybol understands the necessity to smother bourgie sentiments in the near literal crib.

Kids selling lemonade are petite bourgeois as fuck.

First of all, that's some disgusting capitalist consumerist ideology. Second, how the hell is anyone flush with cash when the economy is imploded?

Now something different. Remember Brasilistan from the last thread? We decided to invade their country because their army had kidnapped tourists that were our citizens. The story continues:
A troubled country called Brasilistan has abducted Leftybolian tourists and sent them to work in diamond mines in appalling conditions. You gathered your advisers and decided the best course of action was war; immediate and violent.
This is a grim day in the history of Leftybol. Today, Leftybol goes to war. All eyes are on officials in Leftybol City, waiting with bated breath to learn what form the coming conflict with Brasilistan will take.

“We must mount a full-scale invasion,” declares General Finlay Weasley while jabbing at a map of Brasilistan. “We can land forces here, here, and here; and from there we can march straight on to their capital! It could cost millions of our soldiers’ lives and take years, but short of nuking Brasilistan, this is the only road to victory.”

“With all due respect, General, you are completely out of your mind!” Jake Cho of the Air Force huffs. “A full on attack will decimate our troop levels! This is a land whose terrain and climate our foot soldiers are unaccustomed to. No, the best approach is clearly the tactical one. We have gathered a list of targets that can be taken out through a sustained aerial campaign. This will reduce Brasilistan’s ability to wage war long before we land a single troop carrier in their territory. Why send scores of our soldiers to their deaths when we can send scores of our bombs instead?”

PS: I fucked up when I listened to the tankies, we should have never gone to a war in the first place. But now we have no other choice that carry this out, so which choice do we take?

We go all out to distract the people from our crumbling economy which is kept going only by magic and dreams. Option 1.

We shouldn't be at war to begin with, but if we're already at it, we might as well take the 1st option. If Brasilistan is willing to kidnap and enslave our people, that probably means they're practicing it with others as well; drone strikes won't fix that. Invade, replace the government, and hope to god we still have enough left over afterwards to not starve.

I think the crumbling economy is just CIA propaganda, all our products are done domestically, with foreign products even being illegal, and we use labour vouchers instead of money, so how could our economy be affected or even measured with capitalist currency?

Seriously? Again?

Unless you go full consumerist you get a shite economy.

Can we do some decentralized planning reforms? How do we submit out ideas on the website?

Go Paraguay on their asses. If more than 2/3 the population is still alive after our invasion, I'll consider that a failure.

I think it means "not capitalist enough". All the workers are well-off with their equal salary, and government still has money to spend on what ever it likes, that should be all that matters.

This game is pure ideology. Note how the scale from capitalism to socialism is called 'economic freedom', as if there's any freedom in being a wageslave to a capitalist who runs his business as a dictatorship.

REEEE. Can we still try decentralized planning reforms? Ala Kevin Devine?

We can't do that. What we can do is choose more capitalistic options when it gives us issues.

You can submit new issues here nationstates.net/page=submit_issue
And you can discuss about other ideas for the game on the forums.

check my state
nationstates.net/nation=the_proletariat_of_the_world

...

Great income equality

I had to sacrifice basically my entire economy but it doesn't really seem to effect anything. I'm thinking of doing some temporary capitalist reforms.

This is how revisionism starts.

oh noooooooo

Thoughts? nationstates.net/nation=the_private_toothbrushes

Kek
I'm making a space communism one nationstates.net/nation=the_celestial_socialist_republic

you better fix that quickly comrade

How do I fix it?

1 I guess

nationstates.net/nation=deseria

How do they even do that if private enterprise is outlawed? This game is such pure ideology it cannot even comprehend a non-capitalist society whilst explicitly allowing for their creation.

When you get an issue just keep answering in a socialist and it will eventually change.

How can I join the leftypol alliance?

...

General officers in the Leftybolian Armed Forces are requesting the criminalisation of “stolen valour” - the impersonation of decorated service members, often with the motive of financial gain.

“These traitorous cowards need to be prosecuted!” says red-faced Vice Admiral Jabulani Christmas while puffing out his chest, proudly showing off his own service medals. “They demean the heroic actions of veterans who did actually earn the medals, and desecrate the memory of those who died in service of Leftybol. I know what my boys would do to these charlatans if they caught them, and I can’t promise I’d intervene! I’d like to see these pretenders try to earn the medals they want to show off. Actually, let’s do that - send all these fraudsters to the front line. That’ll teach them.”

“It is the right of all citizens to express themselves in any way they chose,” claims the dixie cup-sporting Jabulani de Jong, an investigative journalist with On Liberty magazine. “People should be free to dress in any uniform without fear of reprisal or punishment - and that includes wearing a uniform of the LAF. What better way to display to the world one’s patriotism! And if you happen to get more respect or some discounts because of it, all the better. If that argument doesn’t persuade you, then maybe you should ask the Vice Admiral how he won those medals. You can bet your bottom labour voucher that if you criminalise this, journalists will start asking serving officers that question. Do you want to have a media witch-hunt of the military?”

“Why do we celebrate and glorify warmongering by raising these conquistadors above everyone else?” questions Howard Svensson, an anti-war protester outside the gates of your office building. “These medals and uniforms only exist to exert dominance and fear over the masses. The military claim these medals are rewards, but they are actually trophies declaring to the world how many innocent civilians their brainwashed killers massacred. We should do away with our armed forces and imprison those who have killed supposedly in the name of Leftybol.”

Well I guess we found a way to stop the invasion we started after all lmao

I'm tempted to say the third option just to see the fallout from launching a mass invasion and subsequently pulling all support for the military, but realistically go with option 2.

Let's do 2. I can't imagine this actually being a major problem.

For some reason allowing novelty army items for civilians turned basket weaving and nudity into some sort of huge movement. I like it.

The epic of the invasion of Brasilistan continues
Your government’s response to overtures of aggression from the Brasilistanis has been to march the Leftybolian army in and take out the tyrannical and violent government.
The “intervention” into Brasilistan has largely been a success, but now the nation has devolved into anarchy with no functioning government. International allies and observers are concerned and have asked that Leftybol clean up the mess it made.

“This is our chance to expand our power and influence,” your Minister for Defence suggests quietly. “Brasilistan might have had a tyrannical government, but the people may be useful, and it does have plenty of resources. We need to send in the remainder of our armed forces, quell any dissent, and set ourselves up a nice colony. We’d have more taxes coming in, a larger pool of people for our army to recruit from, and we’ll have a nice power base in a far off part of the region. It’ll be costly, but definitely worth it.”

Foreign Minister Smoochinger sighs before joining in the conversation. “If we colonise Brasilistan then we’ll be doing exactly what its last government did that got us into this mess – sweeping attacks on another peoples’ sovereignty. I agree that we should send in more troops to clean up things, but then we should help them set up a new, stable, and less aggressive government. Admittedly, this will consume large resources in the short term, but think of the public support we’d attain by establishing a new democracy full of freedoms abroad. And the long term benefits of ensuring it’s a government that’s friendly and sympathetic to our aims are pretty enticing too.”

Why not annex it into our confederated socialist republic? It seems absurd that the only way to deal with the territory would be to colonize it… Option 2 is better here, even if it's undoubtedly going to be a capitalist bourgeois democracy in this game.

Option 2 is probably turning it into a puppet government. Option 1 is basically Israel.

We /warsawpact/ now.

So 2 then?

Is Brasilistan a player country or just some generated event place? Is it a former player country that got invaded by a country that chose option 1?

It's not a player country. You can't actually attack other countries.

Not yet at least. I think the creator planned some sort of PVP at least a year ago, I guess he's just not that much of a coder/developer to actually make it work.

kek, this is hilarious

Sure.

That feel when your foreign politics is pretty much that of USA's. I think I have to shower now. We should have never listened to the tankies in the first place.

!!!!!! INTERNATIONAL SOCIALISM ALERT !!!!
The ongoing ideological struggle between capitalist and communist nations shows no sign of letting up. At a meeting of ‘second world’ nations, opinions vary on how international socialism can be best achieved. The Party has asked you to put your weight behind one of the more popular approaches.

“We’re surrounded by a hostile camp of capitalist powers,” lectures the borderline paranoid Sabina McFly after preemptively surrounding her lectern with concertina wire. “The only logical solution is building a bastion of socialism impervious to any and all foreign aggression. Leader, with closed borders and an ever-increasing military budget, we will finally be safe from imperialist encirclement.”

“Come join the bloc party!” enthuses Ivan van de Berg while handing out BBQ to everyone in attendance. “We need to form a Solidarity Pact, committing our nations to mutual defense and strategic cooperation. By sharing administrative functions and industrial investment, we can create a group of communist countries with steadily increasing living standards, and isn’t that what socialism’s all about? Who wants a kebab?”

“We have a duty to publicize the wonders of socialism,” preaches socialist realist Yoko Schultz while coloring in propaganda posters with a red felt-tip pen. “People suffering under the dictatorship of the bourgeoisie need to know that true happiness, by which I mean their class interests, lies with the worldwide proletarian movement. After all, winning the battle of ideas is far more important than getting stuck in another arms race.”

“Hmmm, sorry what? I wasn’t listening,” says a rotund Party member with an expensive watch and the latest media tablet. “Perhaps we can get some sort of compromise between the economic benefits of private industry, alongside our ongoing socialist program. I mean, have you seen some of the cool stuff coming out of those capitalist countries?”

It's not imperialism if the name of your nation includes one or more of the words "People", "Democratic", or "Socialist".

Number two. Workers of the world, unite!

Two. Three runs too much risk of getting Pinochet'd and one just turns you into North Korea

Let this day be celebrated as the day that socialism won!

Porky, get back in the fucking gulag!

Big business has to mean the government owned businesses in this case, since our private sector is at 0%. Or the game's logic cannot comprehend a world without porky.

Our saga as the imperialist sinner is about to continue!
In order to secure Leftybol’s interest in Brasilistan, as well as stabilise the ravaged country, your government has ensured that someone agreeable to Leftybol has been installed as leader.
After Leftybol’s hand-picked candidate for leader of Brasilistan was assassinated in broad daylight – and then the next hand-picked successor mysteriously disappearing overnight – it’s becoming clear that propping up a new government that is friendly to Leftybol’s aims is much more difficult than originally imagined.

“It’s time we left Brasilistan, and that whole region, well alone,” Hillary Smoochinger, your Foreign Minister says quietly, putting a hand on your shoulder. “It’s clear that the natives are resisting our blatant interference, and our own popularity here at home may begin to suffer if we keep pouring labour vouchers into another country. Let’s just pull out and start spending that money where it belongs, here in Leftybol.”

“I agree – to an extent,” your Treasury Minister Timothy Legarde says, chiming in. “We definitely need to get out of the area as soon as possible, but that doesn’t mean we should abandon all interests there. We need to pick a faction we like, show them how generous we can be in selling them some armaments and, ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom, we’re not only seeing our interests served in the area, we’re making cash while doing it. Extra bonus is we’re not risking any of our people’s lives. It can’t go wrong!”

“What absolute bullsh-, eh pat. Absolute bullpat,” General Dwight Powell, your Armed Forces Chief of Staff blurts out before correcting himself. “Yes, this puppetmaster routine clearly isn’t working, but that doesn’t mean we need to cut our losses and get out of the area! No, clearly we have something to gain from this and that something is Brasilistan itself. It’s time to take the place over and sort the mess out ourselves in our own time-honoured way – absolute brute force.”

This might be the most important choice in Leftybol history so far, bump for justice!

Choose 1, cause fuck imperialism, 'kay?

'kay.

Well, that was a pointless waste of time.

Leading company in genetic modification and bio-mapping, Interstice Laboratories, claim to be on the verge of a major breakthrough in understanding human consciousness. They report that within a few decades they’ll be able to upload a copy of a human mind-state onto a computer databank.

“I wonder if you understand the implications of this technology,” whispers the company’s CEO, Bill ‘Mind-Wizard’ Gibson, squeezing a lemon-shaped stress ball. “Virtual immortality. Sleeving. Backed-up mind-states. All we need is TONS of fundi- I mean, minimal funding. Oh and a license to cut up the brains of vict… uh… volunteers. We’ll not see results for some time, for sure, but the sooner you invest, the sooner we can usher in Reality 2.0.”

“This. Is. ABOMINABLE! EXECRABLE! DETESTABLE!” yells the Minister of the Church of Weird Gaits, as he marches, then tromps, then slithers into your office and rises before you, his face turning the same color as an old peach pit on your desk. “This is a total abandonment of the world that the Great Lumberer created for us! How will we show our gratitude for the greatest gift bestowed on us, our legs, if we can’t use them! Tens of citizens in Leftybol will be either transferred to a line of 1’s and 0’s and banished from The Lumberer’s Sidewalks, or left behind to die in the ruins of civilization. Shut down this science corporation! Make it no more, ceased to be, expired, bereft of profit, history!”

“You don’t need to be a Luddite or a religious fanatic to object to transhumanism,” mutters ethicist Sera O’Connor, glancing nervously at the wall clock. “Developing these technologies increases the odds of human self-extinction. We need to be sure that any intelligence that ushers in the next century is wholly human, grounded in human biology and human morality. There is no fate but what we make. What future do you want to create?”

This is kind of a shit issue with shit options, but oh well. So do we want to fund matrix or not?

matrix, duh

...

Go on with the research

I have a bad feeling that this was a porky ruse to invade our socialist state..

A spectacular but failed attempt on your life made national news today. Interrogation of captured suspects has pinned the blame on agents of the nation of Blackacre, with which Leftybol has notoriously chilly relations. Your cabinet is divided as to how to respond.

“Assassins, huh? Well, two can play at that game!” says Warren McCue, your chief military adviser. “An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! An assassination for a… missed shot, I suppose. Never mind that, think of the possibilities! Not only can we strike back at the scumbags who sent this assassin after you, we can turn our attention to… ‘manipulating’ the positions of foreign leaders and political rivals that stand in the way of Leftybol’s glory.” He then points two fingers at the wall and mouths ‘bang bang’ noises.

“Sending assassins to avenge you isn’t enough!” argues hawkish talk-show host, Evan Wu. “The fact that Blackacre is this bold means we haven’t made them fear us yet - and a nation that isn’t feared isn’t respected. We need to do the only thing we CAN do: bomb their cities! Raise a revolution! Salt their fields! It may cost money, but our nation’s honor is priceless.”

“I can’t believe what I’m hearing!” says the muffled voice of Yasmin James, an anti-violence protestor who was, until now, hiding in your air vents. “By building up our military-industrial complex, WE have become the aggressor. WE are giving nations like Blackacre good reasons to hate us! No wonder they tried to kill you - we aren’t giving them enough breathing room. If we cut back our military a bit and sent them a fruit basket now and then these problems would never happen.”

Did we learn anything from Brasilistan?

BIG BUSINESS GET OUT OF MY SCIENCE

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Don't invade the other nation, but do not cut back on military spending. Capitalist forces lie in wait for any faltering moment to strike. We gotta stay vigilant. I'm voting on option 1.

Option 1, turnabout is fair play.

...

After a recent election installed a small dog as a member of parliament, the fringe group “Brains for Ballots” has demanded for the government to tighten voting restrictions.

“The ignorant have taken over Leftybol,” yells Kathleen Biscuitbarrel, from atop a soap box podium. “It is time that the intelligent retake the polls! Mr. ‘Scruffy’ is a disgrace to democracy and should be taken out of office instantly! I propose we issue mandatory I.Q. tests for every voting citizen and if they are found to have below average reasoning ability - namely lacking the foresight to see that electing an inanimate object to office will cause disaster - then they shall be excused from the responsibility of voting.”

“Umm… huh?” inquires village idiot, Brian Wolowitz. “I voted? When? Oh, yeah. Please don’t make me not vote. The ballots are really tasty, and where else would I get my fibre? Everyone should have the right to vote, no matter what their favourite greenhouse is! Then we can all get the government to do what we want! First thing I think we should do is, uh, ban fruit? I hate fruit.”

How the hell did the fishing industry decline because of an assassination? Did we assassinate all the fisher clubs in Leftybol?

Maybe the assassin we hired was also the best goddamn fisherman in the whole of leftybol.

No autism level limit for voting. If people want a dog in office then that's their decision.

...

The latest army recruitment video surprised the armed forces when it achieved by far the most views and downloads of any recruitment media. An enterprising IT-specialist tracked the hits, finding that over 95% of them had come from gay video-sharing websites. Something about the video evidently sends a pulse of excitement directly to the homosexual male libido.

“Sick and twisted internet perverts, degrading our fine military traditions with their disgusting ways,” mutters retired officer Stan Christensen, while absentmindedly polishing his pistol. “How could anyone view our training exercises that way? I’ve watched this video over a hundred times, and I am fit to burst! I demand that you take the video down and punish those whom have encouraged its misuse. Shut down the filthy websites that are disseminating the video for unhealthy purposes, and prosecute those responsible!”

“This fabulous video has put the army’s profile in the public eye,” observes producer Colin Scully, after taking snapshots of a particularly strapping soldier. “Isn’t that the point of recruitment videos in the first place? Why not raise the nation’s profile a little further and produce ‘Men Under Arms’ calendars, photobooks and idol-memorabilia? That way, anyone who wants to can get behind a soldier. Mmmmm”

“This isn’t right or fair!” blurts out lads-mag journalist Ben Navratilova. “The gay guys have got their jollies, but where’s the love for real, I mean straight men? Give us a sexy recruitment video with ladies in uniform in it too! How about some police-women playing with handcuffs, or some lady soldiers straddling really big guns? Come on, we straight guys want our government-approved titillation too!”

“Recruitment videos? That’s the wrong approach,” says Colonel Hiro Dredd. “Being in the army shouldn’t be something you impulsively volunteer for. It should be a civic responsibility for every citizen who comes of age! Institute a strict draft, and then recruitment becomes a matter of simple logistics rather than filthy advertising.”

“Guys, guys, guys!” says feminist icon Kitty Anderson. “Seriously, this is guys talking about guys looking at guys, and guy-soldiers in a still guy-dominated army worrying if they’re manly enough when other guys like to look at them! Can we talk about women in the armed forces instead? Make sure these recruitment videos star as many women as men, and have the depiction of the soldiers be wholly genderless. A uniform redesign to something suitably shapeless and face-concealing would help, for sure!”

Let's draft everyone. The population should have military training in a world where capitalist and reactionary powers are plentiful.

option 2. Spread some socialist propaganda.

Also this game is totally senseless. Rejecting eugenics makes us liberal, funding transhumanism because we somehow still have corporations makes us corporatists, and building a socialist alliance makes us also corporatists. wut.

I wanted to join this but it's a bit of a bummer you can't actually influence anything outside of your own nation, and the economy is an eternal fund.
You want to be the red menace, tbh.

Conscription!

...

Wait, is this just Pander to Certain Sliders: The Game?

Should we have gone with a genderless army, since it impacts nothing but what you just mentioned?

Also
They were pretty well discounted to begin with, you see that Leftybol State Security stamp on it? Those are the guys who own all the gun factories and guns, and you between the years 18 and 21.

Tragedy struck last Friday when police had to be called to a pop concert when the queue for the women’s washroom devolved first into squabbles, then a violent free-for-all, as desperate female fans fought to get to the front.
The Debate

“Women being forced to wait is… is… just another form of sexism,” complains Zelda Assange, a cross-legged concert-goer, with strained emphasis. “By forcing businesses and old stadiums to accommodate more… more… ah, people in women’s washrooms, we can finally realise a fairer, more equal experience at the wash- SPEED IT UP, GRANS, SOME OF US HAVE GOT TO GO!”

“What a load of sh-” starts Xu Solo, a controversial heavy metal singer, before being interrupted by the concert-goer elbowing her way past him with a desperate look on her face. “Look, if they don’t like having to wait for the loo they can always bring their ‘business’ elsewhere. It’s a free market. Nobody is forcing them folks to go there. One washroom for each gender. Fair is fair if fair is fair, am I right?”

“One washroom is fine, sweeties, but why all this fuss over artificial categories?” asks Mx. Zhimo, looking great in a fetching tuxedo and miniskirt combo. “Just take off the boy and girl signs on the doors, and be gender fluid about where you pass your fluids. Where would you be without me, darling?”
“Oh wow, I really feel for these girls!” says Fahd, one of the five singers from boy band ‘The Unattended Gents’, whose pop concert was so tumultuous. “It’s our fault, for sure. I’ve written a song all about how sorry we are, and the gentle massage I’m gonna give those girls to make up for it. But hey, I know how we can fix this. Let’s have every visit to the little lady’s room cost 1 labour voucher, then those queues will be a thing of the past. We can all be happy together, forever.”

It's more like "everything you do is wrong: the game". Shouldnt be taken seriously but it's fun to see what kind of state Leftybol will eventually turn to.

What even the fuck. This game is liberal as fuck. Option one, I guess, to reduce corporatism.

Just do 1, I guess. 2 and 4 are capitalist, 3 is Tumblr insanity.

This is what happens under communism!

THIS is what happens under communism!

A coalition of expectant mothers (Mothers 4 Justice) has banded together to demand legislation allowing for six months of fully paid maternity leave.

“Six months?! Six WHOLE months?!” blusters Jabulani Plantagenet, a payroll manager. “Six whole months of being fully paid by our company for doing nothing but looking after a baby?! This will sink the small businesses and lose us an obscene amount of revenue! We cannot allow this to pass!”

“I believe that passing this law will be a step in the right direction,” says Howard Bush, the nation’s most outspoken feminist advocate. “These kids need their mothers’ love and attention during an important part of their growth development! I don’t see why mums should be forced to juggle with the stress of bringing up children and having a job! It’s simply too much! Six months maternity leave with full pay is what this country needs - even if it is at the expense of a few avaricious fat cats.”

“Look, I’ve got an idea,” says Mia Delauter, an obsessive centrist. “Perhaps we can allow for six months of paid maternity leave, but have the government pay the companies for lost revenue? That way the mothers can bring up their children without financial worries, companies won’t lose investors, and everyone will be happy. Apart from the taxpayers, of course, but you can’t please everyone.”

This is one of those issues that doesn't seem to acknowledge that we have no private sector at all.

Do the second option, I guess. We'll take the money from magical non-existent Porky.

Genius
Also we are now in the top 5% of the largest trout fishing sector in the world.

The conservative Northern-based parents group of “Housewives and Convicts for a Safer Leftybol” has put forward a memorandum to ban skateboarding in public.

“Skateboarding is a menace to pedestrians and road users,” says activist Athena Cockburn. “Not to mention the astronomical number of skateboarding-related injuries - hundreds of children flood the emergency rooms of Leftybol as a result of skateboarding every year, which is costly to the taxpayers. Keep our streets safe and save a little cash at the same time. Hell, you could make even more money by ticketing those who violate this law.”

“Ticketing children for getting out of the house and exercising?” asks Shinzo Ward, a school teacher, in disbelief. “That’s outrageous! It’s true that skateboarding can be dangerous but so is walking down the stairs! You want to ban that too?! What we should do is pass laws requiring safety equipment for skaters - if we allocate a little bit of the tax payers’ money to the cause, we can build a skate park that will keep our children safe and away from others on the road too.”

“Yo, dude, I’ve got a better idea,” says Declan Suzuki while executing a complicated 360° spin over your head. “What if skateboarding was the only way to get around? Wouldn’t that be cool? Skateboarding is cheap, healthy, and fun! Everyone should do it! You could improve, like, the quality of life for everyone by banning vehicles and making skateboarding the only legal way to travel. People’d love you for it, man. Well, apart from the guys who make cars and the like, I guess.”

Option 2. These choices are asinine.

...

Two I guess, this event is dumb.

Then you'll hate the next one!

Secularists have been urging the government to impose an income tax on religious organizations in Leftybol for some time now, and the issue has finally made its way to the upper levels of the government.

Self-appointed civil rights spokesperson Ásmunda Jackman declares, “Churches are business organizations with a large income. It’s unfair that they don’t have to pay the same taxes that everyone else does. If they really do spend any money on charity, let them write it off as a deduction just like corporations do. There’s no reason that so-called clergy should be chauffeured around in limos tax-free, when we desperately need funds for public works.”

“Freedom of conscience is foremost among liberties,” says Reverend Shinzo McKay. “Churches have been exempted from taxation because it is wrong for the government to infringe on the right of people to worship as they please, and that includes charging them for the right to worship. Besides, churches are non-profit organizations that put all their funds back into the community.”

The Honorable Declan Pence, Minister of Minding Other People’s Business, has an idea: “This religion thing is such a great racket, why don’t we make it a government monopoly? We’ll ban all religions except the Church of Leftybol, and make attendance and donations compulsory. I’ll start writing the Holy Scriptures right away!”

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1, because it's closer to the option I'd like of tax them if they make more than a certain amount of money and don't spend it on good works. It's asinine to treat a streetcorner preacher or a church that pours all its money into a homeless shelter they operate, the same as a one of those televangilist scumbags. Nationstates needs proper, non-joke decisions that allow for shades of gray.

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In light of Leftybol’s ban on gambling, people ranging from angry homemakers to allegedly legitimate businesspeople have been arguing incessantly about whether or not banning casinos was a good idea.

“We are highly distressed at your decision to revoke our casino licences,” says FamilyCorp. Representative “Fat Tony” Al Oz, sipping a glass of fine wine. “If the ban were to be revoked, think of all the money you could get from your cut of the profit. In addition, it would help ensure the safety of assorted members of Leftybol’s government. I think this is an offer that you should not refuse.”

“These casinos cannot be allowed to reopen!” says Gertie Rifkin, an ex-gambling addict. “Remember what happened last time? People get out of control and lose their life’s savings! Just say no to these so-called legitimate businesses! And crack down on the rest of organized crime while you’re at it.”

“There is a solution to this problem,” says Native Leftybolian chief Dances With Spooks. “You could let us front the casinos as payback for stealing our land, and we’ll enforce age limits and pay some tax on the income these casinos generate. Just think of the jobs it could create for us, and the boost to the economy!”

The porky is eternal. This is why we have frequent executions.