Bad Character Bios

Someone post that retarded 2deep4u emo faggot from Cisquisition

Someone was paid to write that.
Someone was paid to write that.
Someone was paid to write that.
Someone was paid to write that.
Someone was paid to write that.
Someone was paid to write that.

Is that fucking Emma Watson?

like seriously what is this killing floor 2

What fucking game is that OP so I can loot at more of this trash

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Someone post that really edgy kid's bio from DA:I.

dragonmaid is kino tbh

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The new Quake

This is the new beauty standard for Western women. And then they wonder why births are in freefall.

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I've seen this many times before, and every fucking time it blows my mind how absolutely garbage this is. The writer has to actually have been 12 years old, christ.

No shit, it's rather hard to slit someones throat if they know you're there.
As for this, I don't know if you'd consider it bad or decent, but it seems a bit generic to me.

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GC was always generic trash. I don't even know how they managed to shit out three games in the franchise considering how bland and uninteresting the whole setting is.

Cole the Hog.

This reads like fucking Coldsteel but done unironically.

Every time I read this I just start grinning like an idiot.
Whenever I read something really autistic I get this weird fuzzy feeling in the back of my head. Someone please tell me they know what I'm talking about. I think I was born with an autism detector and it may or may not mean that I myself have autism.

Literally why. She looks like a run-of-the-mill trailer park queen.

that half-second where someone realizes they're about to die but are too slow to stop it is the most satisfying, though

Fuck that, lets post the best Character Bios instead

Pic related

Worst taste. Don't ever come to Holla Forums again.

Their waifus are 3DPD, what did you think?

Most unforgivable sin was the fact you couldn't kill that gay faggot, instead he simply make you forget he even existed. Crawling in my crawl levels of edge.

You couldn't kill Elfpig either, and Andromeda doesn't let you throw Peebee out of the airlock.

THAT FUCKING EDGE, holy shit. You could cut angsty teens with that bio. It's just so "cool".

Sounds like you may have your ASMR tuned in to the autism spectrum.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autonomous_sensory_meridian_response

I don't think it's quite the same as ASMR, it feels tight I guess, for lack of a better word. Sort of numb and tingly too. Doesn't feel good per se, but it doesn't hurt or anything either. It also feels like it's deep inside my brain, and always only on the right side.
If only I could use these powers for good instead of shitposting.

Can't hate fuck the stupid out of the foul mouth elfpig lesbian. Can't kill characters that make unreasonable immersion breaking demands or statements.RPG's used to cover this shit so well, to cover for the fact that they were limited by engine technicalities and other limiting factors. Now character interaction are boringly predictable.

why bother investing emotional interest in characters that are 2 dimensional and dull. Voice actors have ruined player choice, something that wasn't really a factor with text based dialog which allowed for far greater branching story arcs and overall outcome.

The mention of past and future actions of the player by NPC's is also lacking these days, no mention of past deeds or infamous actions. Player aren't validated in any action they take anymore, nothing is said about how the player handled the situation or how the outcome is going to effect future situations.

assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Henry_Ford

Pick one.

Because it's comforting to know there is someone further gone than you.
Because you haven't hit rock bottom yet, so maybe you can still be saved.

The worst thing about this is, it manages to completely misrepresent what the character is actually like ingame.

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Apollo 11 was an evil Templar plot to grab an apple that was on the moon.

That can't be real

Every single historical event in Ass Creedis to do with Assassins and Templars, if not directly then under their guidance and conveniently with Assassins doing all of the good things with Templars doing all of hte bad things.

assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Joseph_Stalin
assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Vladimir_Lenin
Just compare both of their descriptions. Both of them are stated to not be part of either organisation but just look at how they get different treatment because one died before he could get anything done and the other didn't.

I thought Coldsteel was done unironically as well

There's an amazing game sort of hidden under the surface of Assassin's Creed, like it's trying to get out. It comes closest with Rogue, where you find out that the assassins don't care about human life at all (destroy lisbon to try to get an apple, don't care about the deaths) and the templars are just trying to hold civilization together. All the templars you kill in the beginning of the game before your betrayal did Nothing Wrong.

Also I liked the Precursors plot as shitty as it was.

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AC3 also ALMOST came to be good, since you play as a complete and utter retard that hates the Templars because he was bullied as a kid, only to find out that they were the ones that were fixing everything, but you still kill them because "muh Charles Lee"

What kills me is that this shit has so much potential but can't reach it because it's developed by ubi

Oh, it's the Zenimax CRAPCUNTS.

Somewhere, someone was thinking "holy shit I can't believe I got away with that. I wonder how far I can take it before they outright fire me?"

Not only that, you learn that Charles Lee literally dindu nuthin and that it was George Washington that set fire to your village. Yet Connor still went after Lee, because I guess he was indoctrinated by his mentor or something.

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Straight out of a vidya quotes thread.

Are Unity and whatever the LONDON one is called even about assassin's vs templar anymore or are they just about climbing and stabbing now?

Not a character bio, but this flavor text made me cringe.

Who even cares. Series died with Ezio.

inb4 they do shit how Trump is a Templar

no, the worst thing is the beta texture on his clothes.

They already said shit like how Marx was a fucking Assassin or some shit.

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All salt, no game.

assassinscreed.wikia.com/wiki/Vladimir_Putin
well, Putin is a templar
I thought they liked communism

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Putin isn't a communist, he is a cis hetero-patriarchal shitlord

They re-wrote the bio for one of the playable characters in the remastered version of Dead Island.
Now she's a stronk abo who hates rich hwhite men.

This is not even remotely close to abo. Her skin color needs to be closer to black(black as in #000000).

The artwork doesn't even look like the in-game model

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Shieeet

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Jesus thats baddly written, it reads like bad fanfiction.

Man, at least the other PC's were just dry and boring (Sam B was okay), Purna was abrasive on my nerves.

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Loogs like your BIOS god benis'd :DDDD

fucking abos

Well, it qualifies.

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New Quake's target audience, gents.

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Aboriginal = African????

How does someone ok this ?
Someone actually read this and thought it was acceptable ?
Jesus man, it reads like a tumblr post.

To be honest Trump being a Templar would be fairly believable.

you think that's bad? imagine all of the drafts and other characters who didn't make the cut.

They recruit their writers from Tumblr.

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Abos are native australians.

ey white cunt
*huffs petrol*
so you be saying
*sleeps on the road*
dis is mah land
NOONGA

Abos are even dumber than Africans. I mean look at em, they're basically just chimps. It sounds mean but them's the facts Jack.

The Arkham games have the worst intern written flavor text.
Remember when the riddler started gamergate as a false flag?

True. There are tons of videos on youtube showing how fucked up they are.

It sounds like if it was written while waiting their turn at a Starbucks.

Don't get me started on fucking Abbos. They're worse than fucking niggers.

It's really only voiced player characters because you need to do double the work to have any branching path because the PC is always there. Meanwhile you just give five different voice lines for choices with whatever particular NPC and you're good.

I never thought I'd see the day I'd learn of "people" who make mudslimes look civilized.

Funny how there's no mention of booze there. IIRC everyone got foisted a narrative of "it's all because of the white devil's fire water".

the main reason why Australia is a huge desert with only coast being habitable is because of abos because they used to burn down forests during hunting because they didnt develop proper hunting weapons/tools

So 40k years of forest burning = entire continent looks like a desert

Can someone please drop napalm on the ubisoft offices?

So she goes from ice skater to schizophrenic to heroin addict to adventurer? I mean, I don't expect much realism in video games, but c'mon.

That doesn't even make any fucking sense the US was an industrial state at the time too. Hell they did it before Russia did. Not to even mention they actually fled because communism was starving millions of them. It's like they don't even know why all the tank traps and slopes on the east side of the Berlin wall were facing the east.

That's the shit they did before white people showed up (and is still done by the isolated rural ones). The alcohol/petrol fume addicted ones are the ones that were forcibly taken away from these rural holdout savages and don't practice this shit (mostly).

So the junkies are a step up. Brilliant.

Can we admit Quake was always worse than UT?

Hey buddy I think you got the wrong door, the LOL thread's three blocks down.

No wonder her career went down the drain

It always comes back to "no true Socialist." Why do you think libtards never adapt or learn, they just double down on attack strategies and jargon.

Well when you are a retarded nigger it seems perfectly reasonable to shoot an unarmed man in the dick and expect there to be no consequences.

People who vere starving because of prodraz wouldn't have the means to run. The people who left for USA and other countries were mostly upper class or educated people, because of intilligencia purge.

Yeah and they left because they saw what was coming. Doesn't take a genius to figure out what happens when you kill everyone involved in the production and distribution of food.

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/thread

seems legit :^)

Ever notice that when there's a nigger female in jew media, they go full AFRICA with them? They always try to make them look as ooga booga africa as possible. If there's a nigress in a commercial she's guaranteed to have a mega fro.

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Wasnt this the game with the sad trailer?

You haven't seen niggers in other part of the worlds? Burgerland and Aboobo is the tamest of them all. Try Haiti, Fiji or even their fucking homeland of all niggers: Africa.

Ubijew is pure capitalism user.

indeed

obviously, but it's infected by SJW

But it's not real capitalism.

I'm going to submit this entire intro as a double bio. this is the longest, stupidest thing I ever sat through.

Holla Forums in charge of AssCreed

That game had pretty bad writing in general as far as I remember. References everywhere and you're stuck with one of those snarky, sarcastic female companions that plague western fiction now in days. Still need to finish this game though

True.

twitter.com/sonicmega/status/645808877834006528
Yes, it links to tumblr

this can't be real… p-please?
What? is there a gay purple?
that would be really annoying and gross

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Not good in saltybet, sure as fuck not good anywhere elae

Criminy, did they mean for him to look deformed?

What are your favorite?

The disturbing part is they were actually thinking "that's so badass and deep, i'm a fantastic writer!"

Are you really this new?

That facial structure STILL looks nothing like an abbo. Yes, the image is a woman. Abbos are NOT human, genetically.

Abos are genetically perfectly human. They just suffer from millenia of horrible dysgenic inbreeding and shitty life style from not being able to cope with civilized society.

The image you're responding to is fake you gullible retard

They're literally not human by any definition used to categorize species, dipshit.

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They weren't very good at uncivilized either.

They were classified as fauna 50 years ago.

Does Holla Forums allow PDFs, because I have some PDFs.

I've heard that but have never found any hard evidence of it. Do you happen to have a link?

Holy shit, my other image didn't post.

It should.

Did you even read your own shit? None of that proves your claim that abos aren't human.

Fuck yeah. Here we go. Actually, it's off topic, so I'll end here, but I do want to blow that faggot out who thinks that niggers and abbos are the same species as caucasians.

Oh, it does. You're just illiterate. Sorry you don't know anything about biology.

Ah, and here is where the later Holla Forums silliness of this thread started.

Has anyone seen an actual good character bio?

These people accept posts on blogs as fact without any other sources, don't waste your time arguing with them.

Try harder.

Try harder than him.

All me

There isn't really any hard evidence, this abo mentions it at 30 seconds.

Well, yeah, but none of those even provide any "proof", in fact they do the opposite at best.

He's propably a straight up shitposter though, as racism works even retarded "not the same species" routine.

Hmm.

Dear fuck, how do you people even operate in society?

Shouldn't your angry ass be on posting on that other board? We talk about videogames here, son

Cry harder, bitch. Truth has no boundaries.

Ah, I see that my favorite has already been posted.

Apparently its boundary is right before your comprehension, shitposter-san

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I see (132) is back

Is this the best you can do? Do you think anyone will fall for this?

You are a funny fellow, and you have my pity

Eat shit, denier. No one gives a fuck what you think.

Evidently you care quite a lot about what he thinks

>>>Holla Forums

Feels pretty good

He is a silly fellow, since he had it in his head that all this blabbering was anything more than aimless chatter to be cleared.

AssCreed lore is also marvelous. Pic related.

Seems like you took a wrong turn and somehow got here when you really wanted to get to r/Atheism

heh

There's no confirmed way of how abbos even got to Australia. Africans, Europeans, and Asians are all pretty closely related relative to other groups, but Aussie Aborigines are in their own league.

What else is new?

Do any of you have the link to that video about a liberal woman and 2 abos laughing on a stage because they couldn't even bother to sing?

What if they were there since the continental drift?

Is Tesla really an edgelord assassin in Ass Creed games?

i found a way to make this a thousand times better

That you're too stupid to understand the topic ≠ off-topic

I can dig it

You know he didn't even switch IDs, so that "all me" shtick just makes you look retarded.

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SAM WITWICKY

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It's like it was just yesterday.

It's a joke fellow

Allow me to direct you to this.

>They also made me feel comfortable about exploring who I really want to be, and I came to settle my gender choice at bigender male and female (you can use either he or she pronouns for me from now on) (by now I’m a trans girl instead, please use she/her if you would

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AssCreed's lore is the dumbest shit imaginable. It's like they put a handful of underage redditors in a room with some history books and typewriters and told them to write an edgy scifi story.

That's exactly what the writing team is, a bunch of leftist manchildren writing fanfics where they bash any historical character they don't happen to like.

YOU LYING LITTLE COCKSLURPING FUCKING WELP
THE SOURCES ARE PROPERLY CITED IN MLA FORMAT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE FUCKING PAGE
psychohistory(period)com/books/the-origins-of-war-in-child-abuse/chapter-7-child-abuse-homicide-and-raids-in-tribes/
FUCK PEOPLE WHO LIE LIKE YOU

Wow, they should change her status to "tumblrina deadbeat who always uses niggers as reaction pictures"

The same kind of people who never let men to be their leader?

fixed.

I get it too sometimes, like your leg is falling asleep but its your brain. I dont have a tumour, i checked

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really, i would like to know more

They burnt so many trees that a new species of tree evolved that reproduces by being set on fire. This same species of tree is the reason why Australia has a billion bushfires every week since the tree also evolved to set itself on fire to reproduce.
Here, the first non-Wikipedia source I could find.
wildfiretoday.com/2014/03/03/eucalyptus-and-fire/

that's not an evidence about that the abbos terraformed australia into an scorching wasteland, there are also pines on california that reproduce on forest fires and conifer forest have cyclical forest fires when there ae too many pines, this creates more praires and also returns nutrients to the soil being important for animals like rabbits, hares and deers.

Nice doubles, but I'm not seeing a link between "eucalyptus is an arsonist's wet dream" and "abos made Australia a desert by burning everything."

Don't forget, aboriginals, once arriving to Australia, DEVOLVED.
The most prominent example being the Tasmanian Abo [Extinct].

lmao, the irony.

Imagine what the bio for John Moses Browning would look like.

Now imagine if the dialog was swapped, imagine a mainstream videogame talking against gay people.

Gud taste, user. Keep it up.

It was just an interesting sidenote.
Here's an article about the burning itself and how it increases (((diversity))).
news.stanford.edu/news/2010/april/martu-burning-australia-042910.html

I hated that shit at inception and actually cheered when i knew the creator fucking died.

You're getting help, right?

If I recall the guy didn't do a goddamn thing other than the animations and probably the art, which wasn't that bad honestly. You can't fault him for how shitty the writing, rooster teeth in general, or the shitty fanbase. No one deserved to be brought down by a gold digger and her poison pussy who pulled him off of life support before his family could have any say.

What I want to know is how those practices didn't wipe them out.

British natives during the time of Rome often battled naked because clothing would often result in infection if it entered the wound.
Also a reason soldier would solder a wound often was to prevent infection.

So how do you have people living in fucking mudhuts, cutting each other every which way then fucking each other wounds in the fucking heat, while sweating and probably mixing shit and dirt of for good measure, and not all die out.

How did they not die from eating brains of another human? That shit kills 100% of the time.

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(double dubs checked)

Sounds like internalized cringe to me.

You don't really know a lot of people, huh? I know a family of chain smokers who always had all the family members being happier to have free access to the deceased's goods then the fact they're dead.

Doesn't make it any less edgy.

That's a bit different from "this guy made a thing I don't like".

There's a pretty good chance they/ll add "pssh, nothing personnel …kid…." as a battle victory quote in the PC version, as they're already adding a bunch of lines for Rean.

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If you're going to act like an underage edgefag then you're going to get called an underage edgefag, simple.

How does that relate to anything that user said?

Why? That chainsmoker family knew eachother while user is just damning a guy he's never met in person. No amount of immaturity is required, since expecting empathy for someone you've never met before personally and only know second hand is a mark of unrealistic expectations.

I'm pretty sure Monty died due to surgery complications…

Same. I fucking hated everything about that abomination weeaboo mess

Good question. They probably did and the ones that didn't still remain. Come to think about it, has anywhere else gotten a plague as bad as the Black Death?

Next up you're going to say the balding frog who goes by the name of Olivia Wylde looks good.

Old continent diseases wiped most of the population of Americas after the initial contact with Europeans.

*at the start of the modern period.

That poor thailand-mexican guy you're making fun of, got killed by his girlfriend. She knew perfectly that he was allergic to cats.

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Hi goon. Bye goon!

I just saw this for the first time and I realized halfway through it I had the dumbest fucking smirk on my face. This shit read like a Shadow the hedgehog fanfic, I'm fucking dying.

Is that from the Rick and morty VR?

Can they even produce offspring with humans?

Sadly, yes

If you negros want to read more about this
kiwifarms.net/threads/nicole-sheena-duquette-oum.20671/

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That's pretty metal tho.