Leftypol Nation

with that in mind, go with the leftypol flag instead. once the state is made, of course

Ok here we go nationstates.net/nation=leftybol

And let's get down to our first issue.
In response to a slow news week, certain highbrow newspapers have stirred up the debate over voluntary vs compulsory voting.
“Compulsory voting makes about as much sense as having the death penalty for attempted suicide,” says civil rights activist Shigeru Sanchez. “You can’t force people to be free! You can only give them the choice. Besides, if all those derelicts who can’t be bothered to get off their butts once every few years voted, who would they elect? I shudder to think.”
“It’s not contradictory at all,” argues political commentator Kathryn McGhee. “The fact is, if not everyone votes, the outcome isn’t truly representative. Some groups—like elderly gun nuts—vote more often than others. That’s why we always end up with such terrible politicians.”
“This raises an interesting issue,” says Louis van de Berg, your brother. “And that is: why do we need elections, anyway? Seems to me it would be much simpler if you just decided what was right, and did it. Wouldn’t that save everyone a lot of time?”

...

Well tough shit, we just have to choose one of these available ones. Which one will it be?

what are the pros and cons of each? might as well play by game mechanics then

why do if that so funny?

Dunno, I'd guess compulsory voting decreases personal freedom and dictatorship decreases political freedom.

no compulsory voting then

Great! So far Leftypol has avoided from making any batshit crazy decisions, and the people seem to prosper.

The death of 108 year old Supreme Court Justice Kendra Kennedy has created an opening on the bench. Below are the possible nominees.

Hope Shongwe, the Former CEO of Leftybol Products, says, “I have long sat by and watched our government viciously attack the big businesses in this country. The government has no right to control businesses and I will adopt that position in all of my judgements.”

Reverend Jacob Yeats is nominee #2. The Reverend says, “I am sick and tired of the liberals in this country ruining our family values. Every day they assault our basic sense of decency. You must vote for me to keep our families safe. Think of the children!”

Gay Activist and former Senator Fang Garcia is nominee #3. “Our people aren’t happy, we need more freedom, we need more civil rights. We must keep the government out of the bedroom. We must respect people’s right to privacy and remember that personal relations are just that, personal.”

Environmental Activist Doug English argues, “Our government has been constantly violating Mother Earth and her rights, all our politicians talk about are civil rights, civil rights this, civil rights that, blah blah blah. We aren’t important, what is important is the Earth!”

The last nominee is the retired Five Star General Venus Wolowitz. “We are ridiculed throughout the international community for our low quality weaponry, our police and military numbers are not sufficient. Our military must be protected from both constitutional and civilian oversight. They should be given money, and a free hand.”

Finally, a tomato flies by your head flung by an angry protester. “We want to elect our own judges! This is a democracy! More power to the people! We don’t want a lapdog! Separation of Powers! Get the government out of the judicial system!” He chucks another tomato at you before security escorts him out of your private office.

Which one shall it be?

Let the people elect the judge.

Second this. Democracy all the way

Leftybol was reclassified from Democratic Socialists to Liberal Democratic Socialists.

Leftybol's Political Freedoms rose from Excellent to Superb.

ISSUE:
In an effort to address a budget shortfall, your Minister for Creative Solutions has proposed to cut expenditure by switching off a number of street lights throughout Leftybol.

Tina Zaius, your Minister for Creative Solutions explains their position. “Let’s face facts, in the current economic climate we need to be sensible with our labour vouchers. Those street lights don’t run on thin air you know - and what with the cost of electricity soaring, what other choice do we have? We’re not talking about a total blackout across Leftybol, just switching off the lighting along some of those less important roads and well… perhaps the ones that don’t contribute so much to society.”

A protesting, middle-aged, overweight female resident, sporting an unflattering dress and far too much makeup, demands your attention. “Do you expect a young, single, and needless-to-say attractive female like myself to walk the streets IN THE DARK!? Oh how all the unsavory characters across Leftybol would just love that! Stop pandering to this madness and keep the streets lit whatever the cost!

Wild-eyed, eccentric gentleman Paddy Moore begs your attention whilst enthusiastically polishing his monocle. “This is fantastic news, but doesn’t go far enough - let’s get rid of ALL those blasted monstrosities for good! Do you realise how difficult it is to spot the rotation of Alderaan’s second moon through all that ghastly light pollution? Of course there will be a few wimps who are scared of the dark - but that’s what candles were invented for!”

“You’re looking at this entirely the wrong way, dear Leader,” interjects Virginia Räikkönen from Helios I Energy Corp. “If there’s anything Leftybol needs, it’s more light, not less! It’s been scientifically proven that more light means a happier, healthier population, reduces crime, and there’s no need to worry about the night shift any more - you can work from dawn until, well, forever!”

Fug these are all terrible. My vote is to keep the lights on I guess.

Somehow keeping the lights on made people's income rise by 0.08 and taxation rose 0.07, I dont know if that means inflation but at least we can afford the lights for now, and people are happy. The economy doesn't look good though, it's rated as "basket case".

Typical Socialism amiright? :^)

ISSUE:
With suicide-by-train incidents in Leftybol’s stations becoming disturbingly common, commuters and rail companies are irritated by the impact on their day-to-day activities.

“We need to be compensated for the monetary losses that these suicides have caused us,” the CEO of your nation’s largest rail company states frankly. “These incidents are inconvenient, and handling them requires a lot of time and effort; and time is, of course, money. It’s not right that these people get away with disrupting our business, as well as our customers’ commutes. I humbly suggest that their families should be required to compensate us on their behalf. It’s only fair.”

“I have places to go and things to do!” an angry commuter vents in an interview with Leftybol City News, which is playing on your office television. “These lunatics keep forcing train delays, and that means that I can’t get to work on time. My boss is absolutely irate! Look, the government should stick cowcatchers on the trains, then the body parts can just be pushed out of the way. No more delays.”

“People who try to kill themselves shouldn’t be punished for being ill, and neither should the families of victims of suicide,” your Minister of Health, George W. Golightly, entreats passionately. “Being suicidal is often a sign of mental illness or depression, and our government mustn’t stoop to punishing families for having sick relatives. We ought to focus on suicide prevention rather than hounding these families for money, and we would save a lot of lives through education and extending a helping hand to those who need our support.”

“I’m getting tired of seeing yellow tape every time I go to take the train in the morning. The atmosphere in stations is getting grimmer by the day,” your receptionist, Cassandra Biscuitbarrel, comments absent-mindedly while handing you some coffee. “I think that you could hit two birds with one stone here if you redecorated the train stations. Suicidal people would be far less likely to take the terrible leap if the stations had pleasant music playing, motivational posters, and psychedelic paint jobs all over their walls. Oh, and maybe some pizza joints in the station too! Everyone loves pizza.”

Well this one's easy

Better heath care obviously. Are we going to have a chance to gulag porky later?

I dunno, letting weak people off themselves under a human-proof deathmetaltrain of doom would have been pretty cool too

I hope so. Private business is already illegal, but our state-owned business' executives seem just as porky.

Statists BTFO

Your ever-enterprising brother was recently arrested for running a surprisingly large numbers racket; the earnings allowed him to purchase several foreign luxury cars. Your advisers, surprised by gambling’s potential profitability, have begun debating the possibility of a National Lottery to raise government funds. The idea has drawn fire from social groups, who have come to warn you of the evils of gambling.

“A National Lottery would be a great idea,” says your money-obsessed Minister of Finance, Agnieszka Jele. “This is just what the economy needs. Everybody is attracted to the idea of becoming a millionaire overnight. And best of all, this is as close as you can get to taxing the poor without actually calling it that! That surplus could even subsidize our struggling strategic basket weaving sector. A government-owned lottery would permit small games of chance while keeping out the sleazy, parasitic casinos.”

“A gambling ban is essential to the moral fibre of the nation,” counters social worker, Max King, wearing a t-shirt with the slogan ‘Don’t be a Fool; Gambling’s not Cool’. “Gambling addiction causes countless broken homes abroad, and having a national lottery would only introduce the problem into Leftybol. For the sake of Leftybolian families, we MUST stand firm against the sin of gambling!”

A man sporting a ten-gallon cowboy hat rolls in an impressive scale model of a casino city, complete with a flashing neon light display. “Well howdy folks! I couldn’t help but overhear that your gambling industry is in the toilet. Why not hand over the new lottery to the private sector? I have a plan to use that lottery money to create massive casino cities. I’ve built casinos in Maxtopia, Bigtopia, and North Lilliputia and by gum, it put them on the map! Just think of all the tourists who will flock to Leftybol: The Gambling Center of the Pacific!”

“And why are we letting some guy with a ridiculous hat profit from this new industry?” exclaims your brother, who was not invited to this meeting. “We’d be much better off with a government monopoly of all gambling institutions, so the profits don’t all end up in that foreigner’s bank account. But instead of wasting that sweet, sweet lolly on a basketcase subsidization plan, imagine the fun WE could have. You know, for a world leader, your digs are kinda shabby. What’s say we use that gambling money for your own personal pleasure palace? It would be all for you. And family of course.”

another easy one. no lottery. These all seem to be common sense so far.

Congratz. Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is now considered deviant, and The Leftybolian Economy fell from Basket Case to Imploded.

The Leftybolian upper house recently voted down a major Trout Farming bill, provoking significant backlash in the lower house. Legislators have gathered in your office, and they’re now debating whether Leftybol truly needs an upper house.

“The upper house is outdated and elitist,” argues one of your rather ambitious backbenchers, MP Llywelyn Giono, who is a favorite of the Trout Farming industry. “It’s an anachronism, a holdover of a bygone era. Bicameralism belongs to an age when the population was divided into patrician and plebeian classes. In the modern day, it doesn’t make any sense. The upper house is a needless and inefficient institution full of overeducated and uppity old farts who only exist to obstruct our progress. It’s a roadblock to the will of the lobby - um, the people. Leader, empower the people’s house! Abolish the upper house now!”

“The Trout Farming bill was corporate welfare pure and simple, and that hack knows it,” rebukes Lady Imogen McKinnon, the Mother of the Upper House as she enjoys her snack of camembert and caviar. “We need an upper chamber to give each piece of legislation a sober second thought. Our job is to scrutinize bills for errors and temper the transient passions of the lower house. We need to be given more power, including vetoing dreadful legislation that comes out of the lower house that violates Leftybol’s values and customs.”

“The old woman is right,” comments Britney Redwood, the head of the Leftybolian Electoral Commission. “Our nation needs an upper house to be a check on the lower. After all unicameralism would basically make you an elected dictator with all that unchecked power. At the same time, the upper house’s disapproval should not be a death knell for otherwise popular legislation. I have a compromise. Let’s allow the lower house to call a snap election if the upper house blocks one of its bills. If the lower house, after the election, passes the same bill again, then it becomes law regardless of what the upper legislators think. Expensive? Sure, but at least we give the people the right to break parliamentary stalemates whenever they happen.”

why no pics this time?

Last option

I thought the newspapers are getting a bit boring. Have an extra pic, it shows the rising and falling trends of Leftybol.

idpol time!

A group several thousand strong hailing from a remote, isolated corner of Leftybol is staging a massive demonstration on the front steps of your capitol. They demand that their local dialect be recognized as an official language.

Tom Dovey, your Minister of Culture, has nothing but disdain for the demonstrators. “The language of Leftybol is as important to our national identity as our history is. A truly erudite individual uses perfect grammar and refuses to speak as those ruffians do.” Your Finance Minister is quick to chime in as well, “If business is required to print every road sign, instruction manual, and fast-food wrapper in two languages, it would increase everybody’s overhead. That means higher prices for the person in the street.”

“Smarker, but ee’s gone blongie ‘round the clonger! Trandy in the blang warked a newtie on the Cheebers, quaff me a duggle if it’s brine. Sorky, hang our trandy high!” says Lisa Harman, speaking for the demonstrators, in an apparently rousing response that draws a cascade of cheers. After a few uncomfortable minutes with a professional translator, you find the speaker said, “I respectfully disagree with the Minister. Multilingualism has brought stability to richly-cultured nations such as Brancaland; indeed, I challenge you to provide a single counterexample. I encourage this government to adopt a policy of multilingualism throughout Leftybol!”

Ksenya Reagan, a radical opposition member who seems to tag along to every demonstration she can find, has her own proposal. “The language barrier is keeping us all apart. What Leftybol needs is a new identity defined by a new language that we can all agree on. That’s unity without favoritism.”

Do I even have to ask? It's the first answer isn't it?

In my game I eventually got questions about allowing referendums on different laws, and then on allowing referendums on everything the government does. There's also a point where you can allow the workers to seize the means of production. We just have to try and keep the country as socialist as possible and wait for these questions.

A multilingual pop is good, go for option 2

second official language is fine, yes

Second languages that nobody speaks are stupid, option one definitely.

Alright, from now on the children are raised bilingual from an early age.

It's too late to turn back now

It’s time for the government to allocate spending for the coming year, and as always, special interest groups are keen to have their say.

“The state of the education system is, in many areas, simply frightful,” says Teachers Union leader Attila Wilson. “And even where we are doing well, we could do better. I appeal to the authorities for a substantial boost in funding. Remember, the children are our future.”

“We won’t have a future unless we improve police numbers and rebuild the military,” says General Penny Assange. “Oh, it’s all well and good to have your fancy education and your nice cars, until some tinpot dictatorship decides to invade. And don’t pretend like there aren’t any of them in our region. Our number one priority has to be security.”

“Education is nice, but Health and Social Welfare are more important,” says celebrity social worker Lauren Snow. “This is where the people who really need government help are: the marginalized of our society. If we don’t help them, what kind of a nation are we?”

“Hey, I’ve got a crazy idea,” says noted libertarian and bird-watcher Tim Zhimo. “How about the government stops taking so much tax from people? Give us a tax cut and we’ll buy the things we need ourselves. People need to be weaned off the government teat!”

Welfare and healthcare.

Education, need to get that economy up

This

Aight, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway.

Last night the respected tabloid TV show “60 Minutes” ran a report on Leftybol’s rising divorce rate. What is happening to the nuclear family?

“There’s a simple solution,” says Pastor Felix, of the Catholic Church. “Divorce should be illegal. ‘For better or worse,’ anyone remember how that goes? We should return to the good old days, when you got married for life and stuck by your partner no matter how much of a drunken, abusive, adulterating disappointment they turned out to be.”

John Black, author of the hit book, ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Some Whole Other Place,’ has a simpler solution. “If couples would just call each other ‘darling’ once in a while, there would be far fewer relationship breakdowns. A little affection is all it takes. So the government should make it mandatory: call your spouse ‘darling’ at least once a day, or face a fine.”

“There’s a simple way to boost the marriage rate,” says gay rights activist Khethelo Song. “Abolish those archaic laws that discriminate against same-sex marriages. It’s obscene to treat people differently because of their sexual preference. Besides, everyone knows gay relationships are more stable than straight ones.”

3

Leftybol was reclassified from Liberal Democratic Socialists to a Left-wing Utopia.

goddamnit leftypol

Tempers flare in Leftybol as civil libertarians and the healthcare lobby clash once again over mandatory post-mortem organ donation.

“It’s not as crazy as it sounds,” says Dr. Sophie Kirk. “Every day, people die because we don’t have the organs to save them. Well, that and widespread under-funding of the health system. But the point is, if the government allowed us to take organs from dead people, we could save hundreds of lives a year. And come on, it’s not like dead people need them.”

“You keep your damn hands off my organs!” says alarmed hospital patient Kirby Chicago. “They are my organs, and I’ll do with them what I like. The government has no right to my body.”

Number 1

Oh wow, for some reason that turned us back to Liberal Democratic Socialists. I guess in leftist utopia people die so dead people can keep their organs untouched.

I think it was the +9.2 social conservatism
Not sure why nudity went down though

No new issues for 20 minutes, but lets recap:

The People's Republic of Leftybol is a fledgling, safe nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, public floggings, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 5 million Leftybolians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 70.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The imploded Leftybolian economy, worth 34.5 billion labour vouchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry. Average income is 6,909 labour vouchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are raised bilingual from an early age, a large-scale revitalization of the education system is underway, same-sex marriages are increasingly common, and organ donation is compulsory. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Leftybol's national animal is the spook, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

We are the 1% in the world's most income equality and 10% in both least corrupt government and most EXTREME!

Go into the settings and change the denonym from Leftybolians to Buckos

Done

A minor domestic emergency recently left you searching for a call-out plumber, an electrician and a handyman able to rehang a chandelier. Though the sorry incident is now sorted, you’ve been left aware of how hard it is to find a good tradesmen these days. Your Education Minister tells you that this is because the majority of high school graduates are enrolling in university programs, which is leaving a major skilled labor shortage in the trades industries. There are ample artists, architects and astrophysicists, but a poor proportion of plumbers, painters and plasterers.

“We allow immigration for a reason, and this is it,” says Immigration Minister, Lucas Longbottom. “Why don’t we use incentive schemes to increase the number of migrants coming in with the skills we need, to fill the labor shortages? That way our citizens can focus on holding higher paying jobs while immigrants do the jobs nobody else wants.”

“Wouldn’t it be easier just to get more young people studying trades?” posits Community College tutor Rey Andersson. “You could subsidize technical colleges and apprenticeships, and even offer stipends to students as an extra incentive to make these choices. You may have to raise taxes a little, and divert funding from further education courses in arts and science, but practical skills are ultimately more important to our economy.”

“Sometimes, perhaps it is best to let the ocean currents move you, rather than trying to turn back a rising tide,” suggests Taiqiquan practitioner Jabulani Bone, working through a series of graceful circular movements. “Your nation’s economy is changing, and shifting away from manual work. This is natural, and you should move with, never against. Imagine: as graduates become unemployed, the market self-adjusts, and the economy flows back towards its former shape. As pipes become blocked, supply and demand mismatch results in the free market rising to fill a gap. Energy flows through the system like water, and problems resolve themselves.”

Well the last one is obviously going to the gulags, but which of the first 2 options are we taking?

Obviously we are stronk, independent Buckos, and we don't need any immigrants to do our dirty work.

trips of truth

Libraries are replacing history books and classic novels with technical manuals and trades directories to match the nation's changing demands.

After a drunken brawl between rival fraternities resulted in the deaths of five university students, concerned citizens across Leftybol have questioned whether fraternities serve a purpose in modern society.

“Dude! You can’t ban fraternities,” says Kirby von Bismarck, member of Mu Alpha Xi, while crushing a beer can against his forehead. “Fraternities are like a brotherhood. They give us a sense of belonging. Sure, some of us may get a little out of hand, but we have a right to hang out with whoever we want. Don’t we have like, uh, freedom of assembly or something like that in Leftybol?”

“Fraternities continue to be an embarrassment to Leftybol’s universities,” muses your geeky nephew as he peeks his head over a quantum physics textbook. “Don’t forget that the same guys who shoved me into lockers in high school are the same ones being caught uttering awful chants and participating in hooliganism. College isn’t about getting drunk and partying. It’s about studying, working hard, and preparing yourself for the real world. Shutter the frat houses, so us students can study in peace and quiet.”

“Come now, old sport, you can’t listen to this poppycock,” scoffs grey-haired University of Leftybol City alumnus Howard Suzuki, sporting a swordstick and a hat displaying the symbol of an alleged secret society. “Back in my day we didn’t have these problems with our fraternities. The problem is because you allow any Tom, Dick, and Harry into our fine organizations without the proper credentials. Fraternities used to be only for the wealthy and shall we say, Leftybol’s better citizens. Go back to the old ways and I’m sure these scandals will disappear.”

“The problem isn’t fraternities. It is alcohol!” invokes Reverend Joylove. “Some of these young men are a part of my flock and are otherwise upstanding citizens of society. I’m sure that they would never have become involved in a violent fistfight if it weren’t for the alcohol polluting their bodies and souls. Instead of punishing the sinner, we must eradicate the sin. Alcohol is the devil’s nectar, and it poisons the mind! For the good of society, we must ban all alcohol in Leftybol!”

Fraternities are obviously a breeding ground for reactionary ideas. I say ban them.

This
Even if it's a progressive fraternity fratboys are always like two years behind on jokes and make for awkward conversation
ban them all

we don't need fraternities when all workers are a brotherhood

Public intoxication has decreased ever since fraternities were banned.

Media outlets have been buzzing about the thousands of children abducted from their remote villages across the exotic nation of Brasilistan, suspected to have been carried out on the order of their own government. Reports are coming in that the abducted children have been sent underground to mine for diamonds, Brasilistan’s most precious resource, but military intelligence suggests that some young Leftybolian citizens living there have fallen to the same fate.

“The Brasilistani government have been pursuing aggressive and provoking policies for years, especially in their attempts to annex their neighbour Marche Noir. Now they’re abducting and holding hostage not only their own children, but citizens of other countries!” booms General Björk Spook, slamming her fist on the conference table and urgently gesturing to a map on the wall. “We have sat idly by and now it’s our people over there waking up in the middle of the night to bombs and soldiers destroying their homes! Leader, we must marshal our forces and intervene with the only language the Brasilistani seem to understand - violence!”

“The good general is surely exaggerating the threat here.” Ryan Lopez, one of your trusted advisers responds calmly while drinking his tea. “Brasilistan is our foremost diamond trade partner, so we must approach the situation with diplomacy and targeted efforts. A knee-jerk military response is the worst thing we could possibly do here. I am confident that with some juicy incentives, the Brasilistani government will discover their error and immediately release our citizens.”

Just got this decision chain chain. It's pretty neat. Invade.

Iraq war anyone, regime change doesn't work. Don't invade.

Well fuck, invade came first so here we goo
user..are we imperialists now? :(

Yes, you fucked up. You don't have to answer these immediately you know, let people have a chance to discuss.

Yes, user, we are imperialists now.

More issues tomorrow, and next time I don't let the first tankie to answer to choose for the whole leftypol.

...

A review of Leftybol’s foreign aid commitments in the fourth world recently uncovered that large parts of relief funds have trouble reaching the people truly in need. Excessive bureaucracy in the distribution system and widespread corruption at the receiving end are being flagged as major obstacles.

“This confirms all of my suspicions,” smugly states Kato Knight, Minister for Modest Living and Curtailed Spending, known for his heart of stone. “These fancy-named programs - like that ‘Rural-Urban Sustainability Engagements’ - do nothing but finance the decadent luxuries of tinpot dictators: private submarine strip-clubs and collections of gilded banana hammocks! Cut all foreign aid funding and put that money back in our pockets!”

“That’s painting an extremely one-sided, and state-centric, image of reality,” counters Commodus Smith a hip intern at Maxham Multinational. “If your minister had bothered reading beyond the tabloidy parts of the review, he’d see that some of the programs are actually doing wonders, like the well-known ‘Condensed Renewable Aggregation Production’. You know the common denominator of the successful ones? They’re not run by the government. Instead of mindlessly dropping all your funding, how about turning it all over to us? We’ll completely eliminate the bureaucratic mess you have today, and we’ll publish really tasteful brochures about everything that went well.”

“You do know what ‘NGO’ stands for, right?” queries your trusted civil servant Taylor Trump. “It’s ‘Non-Governable Ordeals’, that’s what it is. I’m sure these… people… have pure hearts, but they’re not going to settle; they’ll have lobbyists out day and night pushing for you to increase their share of our budget. Let me and my colleagues at the Department of Bureaucratic Oversight take over our aid commitments. We’ll ensure proper implementation in no time, and with only a slight overhead.”

“Why do we care about poor people in places we can’t pronounce anyway?” your brother asks frankly, stabbing a virtual beggar in his Panty Theft Auto video game. “Those images of starving children are so passé, and no amount of conscience-cash is going to change a thing. Use that money to prop up some of our domestic industries, like, I don’t know, video games, maybe? It’s just a matter of time before the problem fades away, I mean, like literally!”

Stop the foreign aid and gulag anyone suspected of corruption.

Idk or do the third option? Sounds kinda risky to me. They haven't proven themselves to be good spenders.

Come on, vote for your nation's sake

stop dat foreign aid bb

We could have done at least some aid to even out the bad karma we got invading the brasilistan but fine..
At least we got our economy back up all the way to basket case

Holla Forums

first picture on the far left with the lapels though. Holy shit I'm scared, half of them can't even uncross their arms, defensive body language, scared shitless

A delegation from the Leftybol Philharmonia has shown up in your office, underlining their petition for the renovation of the nation’s concert halls with a serenade.

“The once venerable concert halls of Leftybol are in a sorry state,” laments trombonist Chastity de Castro, emptying the spit valve into your waste paper basket. “Some are dank, the stucco is crumbling in others, and it’s raining through the backstage roof of another! In the name of culture we must restore these halls to their former glory. It’s only a pittance to the national budget, but to our cultural reputation? Priceless.”

“These caterwauling miscreants don’t deserve concert halls,” insists Peter Le Carré, a tone-deaf curmudgeon. “If they can’t support their hobby, then why should we, the suffering taxpayers, prop them up? Concert halls are businesses, and businesses that can’t stay afloat on their own disappear. Such is life. I say leave the whole lot to their inevitable demise.”

“Times are tight. I sympathize with you,” consoles Cortana Guilliman, the CEO of Restorations R Us, handing you a decorative ‘Hang In There’ basket of goodies. “However, you need only ask, and - quick as a whip - my company will fund the construction of concert halls all across this fair country. All I ask is that we put up some advertisements in the lobbies and integrate a tasteful nod to sponsors into the programmes.”

“The only reason to fund these musicians is if they are doing something worthwhile for their country,” says Brigadier General Beavis McAlpin. “I’ve long said that Leftybol’s Armed Forces would benefit greatly from a spic-and-span band in uniform. They would represent the splendor that embodies Leftybol and they’d do it with pride! Of course by extension, they would be a part of the active forces and required to serve in battle if necessary. Always good to up the recruitment numbers, right?”

we band of brothers now bucko option 4

1 I guess

Did that guy in the first picture piss his pants?

Oh. No. He got a drink thrown on him. Never mind.

Not again…

4, they can make neat Tankie marching songs.

I vote 1

Where the fuck does Porky keep coming from? Private enterprise is illegal, Porky should be in the fucking gulag.

Ignore tankies go 1

kek

If you guys are interested in joining a region, join this one.
nationstates.net/region=united_socialist_and_anarchist_communes

I've tried running a socialist country in this turd before. It's impossible because their understanding of economics amounts to a dichotomy between state capitalism and private capitalism.

I know right? Regular executions in Leftybol was also mentioned earlier, so I guess we are still in the process of getting rid of the pork.

After several complaints of the tripping hazards presented by sleeping bags on the doorsteps of public buildings, the citizens of Leftybol have brought the problem of homelessness to your attention.

“To be honest, I’d just like a place to stay,” says a scruffy man who’s been living under your desk. “Somewhere I don’t have some landlord breathing down my neck all the time. If the government could see fit to build some kind of free hostel where people could go if they’ve fallen on hard times, well, that’d be just great.”

“You can’t possibly think that’s a good permanent solution!” cries Mark Grossweiner, coordinator of the local soup kitchen. “What these people need is help to get their lives back on track. Yes, they have the right to a place to live, but they also need an honest job to pay for it. They need to be encouraged to work to become integrated into society again! Force our major businesses to create some basic jobs for these poor souls, and soon they will become pillars of the community!”

“And who do you suppose pays for all this?” snaps Rosalina Garak, one of your advisors. “Your loyal taxpayers, that’s who! People who actually work for the things they have! And let’s face it: these vagrants bring it on themselves - frittering their money away on rubbish and rollicking in unemployment while the rest of the world slaves away to make ends meet. They’re worthless scum and they gave up their ‘rights’ a long time ago. I say we leave them to their misery until they become a nuisance, then have them dealt with like any other criminal.”

“As far as I can see, homeless people are already a nuisance,” says Julius Yoo, a proud citizen. “They’re mostly thieves and drug addicts, they make the streets a dangerous place for our children, they make honest people feel guilty for turfing them off their doorsteps and, frankly, they smell bad. They’re vermin, plain and simple, and as such I suggest they be destroyed before the infestation gets even more out of hand.”

1 is nice but are we ready for this kind of policy? Otherwise 2 for muh full employment.

Option 2

We full employment now buckos t. Stalin

Where's the option to lower the work-week instead of inventing make-work jobs for the homeless?

In another issue somewhere

As an increasingly tense election season looms, candidates have already begun smearing their opponents with vulgar and offensive campaign advertisements. Politicians and pundits of all corners of the political spectrum have asked you to bring some civility back to politics.

“Whatever happened to the good old days?” cries MP Hiro Golightly, who saw an ebb of support along with a slew of negative ads targeting his large nose. “Politicians used to be elected based on merit, but now the election process has turned into such a sham! One single ad-hominem attack is all it takes to tarnish an honorable politician’s career. Not to be nosy, but the government should step in and prevent the media from advertising attack ads and political campaigns from producing them. I can hear the complaints now: ‘blah blah free speech, blah blah censorship’, but if that’s the price to pay to restore honour to politics, then so be it.”

“If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen,” vents political strategist Lars Biscuitbarrel, who was the mastermind behind your most recent election victory. “Perhaps the reason the MP lost support was not because of negative campaigning, but rather poor policies and performance. Attack adverts are as old as politics itself and are no more rampant or influential today than than they’ve ever been - leave them be. I’ve even taken the liberty of producing a smear campaign for you to use regarding your main opponent being an East Lebatuckese spy who is also part of an illegal organ harvesting cult.”

“Have you ever thought that maybe there’s a good reason Leftybol is gripped by the magic of attack ads?” questions sleazy television executive Agnieszka Wolowitz. “We love filth! We love drama! These issues like ‘climate change,’ ‘corruption,’ ‘deteriorating relations with Maxtopia,’ they’re real downers and will they ever REALLY be solved? Surely Buckoes agree - politics is a spectacle and a blood sport, and one that needs to be drenched in more garbage, not less. We shall make the politics of Leftybol the greatest reality show in leftypol! Heck, we can even use that Question Period footage that featured the Opposition Leader getting egged and that random MP smashing a chair on the Interior Minister for our opening title!”

Well, Holla Forums is all about the memes…
Pick option 1 tho

2, gotta protect the frozen fruit

bump I need your opinion

/1/

voting 2

See this is the problem with nationstates, theres no reasonable option here

2 I guess

2

2 comrades

...

Rey Smiley, a 15-year-old immigrant residing in the city of Leftybol City, was murdered recently. The unusual circumstance here is that her killer was her own father, who had executed her in an ‘Honor Killing’, for sharing a kiss with a Leftybolian boy. The father has now been arrested, but he is showing no remorse.

“This is what I’ve been saying all along,” says nationalist politician Tim Nimoy in a tone that can only be described as a Frankenstein-mix of smugness and fury. “When we let these foreigners into our country, they import barbaric practices. Unless you want us to one day become ‘The Holy Fundamentalist Kingdom of Leftybol’, you should set up a vetting process to keep crazies out. Maybe a profiling test that makes sure that immigrants share our values? Oh, and make the immigrants who are already in take that test too!”

“And who defines this?” asks Fatima Trax, a human rights lawyer who is herself an immigrant. “What happened here was tragic, but we mustn’t be reactionary. Maybe if Leftybol wasn’t so hostile to immigrants, the dad wouldn’t have minded his daughter dating a local! I don’t condone this murder, but the root cause here is a divided society. Throw some funding into celebrating the religious festivals and cultural practices of the world, and bring the community together as one.”

“Am I missing something obvious here?” asks loutish thug Stan Jamieson, missing something obvious. “Seems to me that the girl dishonored her father, and so her father killed her for the sake of his family name. I mean, why are we saying that’s a bad thing? How could anyone call that a bad thing?”

1, I guess. 2 is pure liberalism and 3 is barbaric. Reactionary culture from outside should be destroyed just as much as reactionary culture from inside.

OP oughta swing by Forum 7 sometime. As long as you don't take things seriously, you'll fit right in.

Greetings from the South Pacific.

...

When a blind man and his guide spook were recently refused service in Leftybol City restaurant ‘The Haute Potato’, it started a heated debate that few had seen coming.

“This is a real eye-opener!” exclaims Mathias Murdock, head of the Leftybolian Blind Trust, speaking to a large group of cane-wielding protesters. “This discrimination against the blind and partially-sighted has gone on for too long. Not only should we be allowed to take our companions and guardians wherever we go, now is the time to realize our vision of a society completely accessible for the visually impaired!”

“Spooks must be kept out of restaurants; why can’t these people see that?” queries Virginia Kennedy, a young chef from ‘The Haute Potato’, reeking of paprika. “It’s not that I don’t understand, really, I do, but it’s a health issue, you know. Imagine that thing entering the kitchen; you’d get their fur or scales or whathaveyou all over the buffet,” she asserts confidently while her sweat trickles down into tonight’s babaganuche. “He should just tie his spook outside along with any other mutt. They still have their canes, don’t they?”

Your spook-walker, Preeti Sisko, who has 20/20 vision, rambles at you whilst untangling several leads. “Why are we only thinking of the blind here? I can’t see why the blind should be able to take their spooks into restaurants, while my poor babies still have to be tied out in the rain. You’ll let me take my spooks into restaurants as well, right?”

haha yeah broooo, screw the corporations man!! all these younglings just need to visit college and they'll learn! we don't need to work, we don't need money! Marijuana will solve all our problems, man.

2. Spooks must be removed

1. Those animals are generally well-trained.