DUKE NUKEM

Just make another DNF but actually meet the development deadline. Copies of the Megaton Edition and 20th Anniversary edition levels come free with the game along with Build engine tools to make your own levels.

He has to live some way. Maybe he has a son or something?

Just make it "rogue like" and "moddable" with "microtransactions" and you'll be in business

Okay, so get this…
Duke's an old fuckin man and he's sick and aging with age, so he summons the kids of all the whores he's boned over the years to his bigass mansion and the fruit of his loins all show up and every single one of them is a sexy, slutty, scantily-clad chick who specializes in a few of a large variety of things that could affect gameplay, such as but not limited to:
Ambidexterity, enabling dual-wielding. Tumbling, for fast combat rolls. Explosives, so bombs have a longer fuse and blow up within a certain radius of an enemy, rather than a short timer. Skating, allowing wall riding. Basically just a bunch of different hotties with specialities that would allow you to play the game completely differently from one slut to the next.
Anyways, ol Duke shows them a bunch of bigass orbital drop-pods and says that whichever of his daughters gets to a nearby alien world and wrecks shit the hardest and causes the most lasting damage to the aliens will inherit his vast fortune.
From that point on, as soon as the girls hit alien soil, the game becomes like an endurance race, as if you were playing GTA and trying to destroy as much shit as you could and get the highest possible wanted level so that bigger things come to you so that you can fuck up their shit.

In case you were wondering, all the playable characters are chicks who are hot as hell because the aliens are fuckugly, so you should have the option to play in third person, because what's a Duke Nukem game these days without T&A.

I'll call it "Nukem Newcomers" or something.

I wake up

How come there's no DuUke Nukem porn parody?

Simple. This is how you make Duke great again:

1. replace Duke with Trump
2. replace Duke quotes with Trump quotes
3. make enemies into muslims, liberals, kikes and media agents

Done, you made greatest game on the planet!

DO:
Babes
Guns
Aliens
Individual level designers completely in charge of building their own levels

DON'T:

Have tutorials of any kind
Have QTEs of any kind
Have regenerating health
Tone down the game for vocal lefty cucks, the backlash will sell more copies not less
Funnel the player through every one of your hilarious jokes and references, just have them as part the background and atmosphere of the game

port the console spinoffs

dick kickem
it's time to chew ass

I think this is going about it all wrong. No need to be as crass and insulting as the leftists, just have Duke be Duke. Even that is enough to make the Marxists lose their shit.

duck cuckem

TPS made by platunim or something, i just wanna see Duke meet Bayonetta.

Just kill the franchise, it's worthless, people want jumpscares and non-violent video games now.

This and they're trying to take down the statue of Duke and change the sexist and masculine curriculum of Hot Babes studies and Kicking ass and chewing gum 101.

Let RoTT guys release their remake

Add procedurally generated to that and you'll make billions

I'd just repackage custom levels into brand new games endlessly.

Instead of a rail gun, Trump just shouts "You're Fired" and it instagibs everything in his line of fire.

HD rerelease of Forever

Trump Stumpem?

I call in Infinity Knives Studios and Running with Scissors and tell them there is no target rating or demographic, just have fun with the IP.

With my cut of the hundreds of millions this would make I start my own studio that specializes in making "spiritual successors" aka unlicensed sequels to all the games I love from the the golden age aka ~1980 - 2007

Hire the writers from Ahs Vs Evil Dead and implement Doom style gameplay

I would reboot the whole thing ala Shadow Warrior.

First thing: have it developed by Pollacks.

Second: Go back to Duke's origin story, maybe have him as a b-movie action star who gets caught in an alien invasion and actually kicks ass since the aliens work like b-movie villains.

Make it doom style, infinite weapons carry, player must be fat (near the speed of light), no corridors, huge gigantic levels levels whit fourth dimentional cordinates and the story has to be aganist political correctness or some other popular bullshit.

Step ot up, prichard

I'd make it an open world game where you can find a hidden jet pack in a window on the ground floor of a sky scraper, and spend 10 minutes flying up to the top of the tallest building in the game where youll fight a giant tentacle boss monster that spawns waves of monsters in eggs and you have to shoot it's various weak points.

Through out, there are women In the battle area, and they die. And as they die, Duke gets madder and madder because it's less pussy he gets to crush, if you beat it with all the girls protected you get a special ending, and you also get a special ending if you do the jet pack thing. (Something like "fuck all this bullshit, I'm going after the top dog."

The rest of the game is corridors, hidden rooms with hints at the bosses weak points and DOUBLE DAMAGE zones, where it says "DOUBLE DAMAGE", and if you find them and hit them, duke says "DOUBLE DAMAGE" like a fuck head every now and then.

I'd have key cards, and colored doors, and secret rooms with armor and shit, and when you equip it, it changes dukes appearance, and when it gets weak he rips it off and throws it to the ground and makes a quip about armor being for girls or some chastity belt joke or something.

I'd make 20 guns, and you can lug around all 20 guns, and when you get the last one you have duke go "Hell, what's one more?"

Talking shrink ray, ice beam, multi launcher, mini BRRRRRT, sniper rifle that shoots through walls and leaves holes in the walls it goes through. Trip mines, floating enemy seeking mines that are obnoxious pussy seeking fuck bots duke reprograms for murder.

I like the idea of a gun that just changes the monsters into duke, and when they see the real duke and they know they can't compete with The Legend, they kill themselves.

I changed my mind, it isn't open world at all, it says it is, but if you try and go out and explore there's an invisible wall and duke bitches about it, then comments thay it's nothing bUT a wasteland anyway, or "fuck side missions" or some shit.

Has clearly defined levels, and it times you so you can speed run, as well as "secrets found" and "map explored" options for the levels. Once you beat the game you get a level editor with no limits on enemies, room size or gun. Also there's multiplayer where you play as girls with big tits and if you look down you see them, and there's a power up that turns you into duke, and if a girl sees duke she gets stunned and falls to her knees for a bit.

I use a time machine to steal the rights from Gearbox before DNF can be released in order to make my own version
>Proton uses a time machine to call forth demons from the past who do his bidding, however that time machine is damaged in the fight which creates a time rift sucking Duke and Dr. Proton in Duke: That's NOT how I like to be sucked!
>each set of levels has a different time period with their own theme and babe
>from Western shootouts where you help a qt injun murder mexican bandidos and the white man so you can't be called racist in order for the injuns to establish a foothold over America so the qt can establish a time rift, to WW2 levels where you need to help a qt nazi dominatrix and her platoon to defend Germany from demon-possessed allies in order to get to the next time rift, as Duke questions the nature of war while excusing murdering innocent allied soldiers because they're possessed by demons anyways, and a demon mafia war level where you need to fight for the injun mob against the Italian demons
>also an obligatory Terminator level where you must protect Mama Duke (no escort missions) from Terminators and cybertroopers, after which Mama Duke offers to suck your dick Duke: Uhh, I'm no motherfucker, ma'am
>the nazis and injuns were created by Proton himself as steps to the world order, with Nazis concerning themselves with the mechanical armies and injuns the magical ones, what you did was massacre everyone who opposed Dr. Proton, as told by Proton himself Dr. Proton: Hitler, Chernobyl, EA, the aliens, it was all me, Duke! All me!

God damn, that's a beautifully written story.

THAT is what we need the next Duke Nukem to be based off of.

Does it have lolis replacing strippers as well?

Don't even need to make Duke Trump but all other points stand. Instead of fighting AyyLMAO's he will fight real unwelcome Aliens who want to rape our women.

hi Rick

Nice try, Gabe Newell.

You want to know what is entirely utopic and would never happen? Getting the source code in this day and age.

I so want a mod of this

Easy.

Make a new game without fancy visuals, over the top action but instead of duke, so that I don't piss off autists, I create Dukette.
She's basically the same as far as personality goes but she's also half naked and hot as fuckl
Think if a middle aged trucker had the body of a playboy girl.

I make sure to trigger people both for the mrs. Male bullshit and also for making her basically a booth babe.
Where's my money gearbox

yeah its called bombshell

Isn't a bombshell just a very attractive woman
Also who the fuck uses bombshell, is that you grandpa

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No idea what this means

So he is a part of peodwood as well huh? How can you calmly make a joke like something about this? Do you even know how deep the rabbit hole goes?
e is also a close friend of that degenerate (((Epstein))) you know.

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I do nothing. It's already been ruined by Broussard and company with their shitshow that was DNF

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And your mum is overweight

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