Dovahkiin turns 5 this year

I wonder what his parents think now.
I wonder what's his nickname.

Other urls found in this thread:

archive.is/SwbpH
8ch.net/pol/res/6961608.html
hollaforums.com/thread/10243940/video-games/dovahkiin-turns-5-this-year.html
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Dov.

I wonder if he's living with his mom or dad right now.

Mods will fix it

Wait what? Did someone name their child Dovahkiin?

In exchange of Bethesda products for ever and ever.

Why would someone name their kid after such a dorky name?

Fucking hell lads.

Beth had a promotion where if you named your kid Dovahkiin you'd get Skyrim and maybe some other shit.
And they did it, the actual madmen.

Underrated post.

Were his parents jewish?

I don't know, but yeah, this should be under the category of child prostitution.

underrated post.

Sounds like a good deal to me
He would grow up to hate goyim anyway

You're kidding right?

No one is that depraved, Bethesda or the Parents

My parents named me Daikatana because they thought it was going to be good

I'm too lazy to look for it on google or youtube, so you could write it yourself and despair.

Turned into a living meme. This is such child-abuse.

HOLY FUCK WHAT HAVE WE BECOME?

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Maybe they found some common sense at a yard sale and got his name changed. Basically

If people are stupid to name their child like Turok, Mario, Sonic, Reimu, or a pony, then this is no exception.

Mario is an actual name. Don't know about the others.

My dad named me Snake because my parents flipped a coin or something to see who got to decide their first child's name. He really liked Metal Gear.

A dude in my town got named "Casper the Poker"

Someone named Snake isn't too strange, just another hillbilly name like Hunter or something like that.

Why is his head so red?

All right, then Wario

Well, I did grow up in a trailer park. Only thing is I'm a sysadmin for a decent-sized company now. I live in a nice house, and I've got this redneck name. Been thinking of changing it to something more normal, but that's probably a lot of paperwork.

The prize for naming your kid Dovahkiin was a free copy of every new Bethesda game, dunno whether that still applies if you changed the name of your kid.

I assume he's pissed about the name

why is he a tomato

But this site is literally the only one to hate skyrim. Stop projecting.

You should be proud of your roots, mate.

Well, if you are in a portuguese zone or spanish zone you could say you could say you are really called Güario or some variant to sound like a real name.

ahahahahaha fag

i bet the dovahkiin kid will kill himself after learning his parents named him after videogame

i wonder how many years old is Reimu now

Considering he looks like he's choking to death in that photo, he is probably dead and doesn't have to worry about being a living meme.

Couldn't they have gone with Marisa or Alice?

The other kids probably call him "the faggotborn".

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I guess.

But Reimu's best girl.

My money's on a school shooting.

All right then, these can't be justified

Donkey Kong
Cranky
Bowser/Koopa (Inb4 that one has a kid and names him Bowser Jr)

He's trying to choke on his own tongue.

I once wanted to call my future child Judas as a way to teach him in this world traitors are the ones who make profit.


Hm… people named their children like that?

Donkey Kong can be fixed into Don. Cranky could be changed into Crank. Bowser… I don't know what does that means but it sounds like a pretty american name. Koopa sounds weird though.

Bowser is actually a common last name so it wouldn't be that weird.

But Koopa literally means shit in Polish.

I went to school with two kids who were named Dick Tracy and Austin Healey.

do you think five year old give good blowjobs?

Remaster

And where they the coolest kids in school?


Never tried and I'm not even interested.

You're really asking to be made fun of with a name like that

Cranky sounds like an bitter old man.

Crank sounds like a nickname you'd give to a junkie.

Don't kids that old reflexively bite things that are put into their mouths?

I doubt most people will get the reference. Not even a bad name.

Dick Tracy was pretty cool. He just went by Tracy most of the time. Austin was kind of a weird kid, possibly a legit aspie or something, but he was nice enough.


His full first name was Richard. Dick is a nickname for Richard. The point was that Dick Tracy is (was?) a famous detective comic, and Austin Healey is a car company.


Yeah, I didn't know what it meant until one day when I was talking to my dad about Austin, and I said his full name, and my dad just burst out laughing.

That's pretty bad when you have to settle for a name like Tracy.

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I think he's shaping up to be quite the hothead.

why yes

his full name is Dovakhiin "Shekels" Goldstein

Imagine if we're actually witnessing a lolcow in the making.

Ah the last Bethesda game I'll ever play.

Rot in hell Todd.

Sounds like justifiable homicide to me.

Change your name to Big Boss

Is it even legal to name your child after a corporate brand?

Fucking hell you guys. At least pretend not to be underaged.

They should had named him Majin Buu.

You could name your child anything. There's no rules.

There actually are, rules depend on where you live of course

There have been a few rare cases where the full-retard parent wanted to name their kid some unpronounceable combination of letters/numbers/symbols and courts ruled against them.

Depends on where you live. Some countries have rules against naming your kid curse words or other obscene names.

Since Pokemon Go has become popular people are naming their kids after Pokemon recently.

99% certain that's been happening since the 90s.

Actually, if serious, that's a great flag for the fact that mother is planning to divorce her husband, and doesn't care about the future of the child.

She wished she aborted him, so she decided to make her anger on him by naming him after a character from her favorite game, to ruin his life.

After all Dovahkiin is also entering the worst generation of the human history, so you can expect he will be spoiled neet that will eventually turn transgender and cut off his dick like Chris-chan.

At the very least this guy is NOT entering any college or institute. Nobody will let him be properly educated, and he will never have more than 1-2 close friends, who are just as unlucky as he is.

ARROW IN DA KNEE XD

I looked it up and it looks to be pretty lax in the USA but more strict in other countries.

It's the wave of the dystopian future.


SO EPIC! XDDD

why not DUMB AND RED CHILD BUU instead
XD

The article I read about it said that the trend as been on an increase recently.

Fucking jews, man.
archive.is/SwbpH

the good guys lost world war two

Surprised they didn't go with asfgdagsfdgasdga or something similar.

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go back to your containment board weaboo faggot

ow the edge.

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thread derail in 3… 2… 1…

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What are you talking about? The good guys won.

Freedom prevailed, and evil was defeated.

it's past your bedtime, chaim

get lost faggot

America had a choice, to give a victory to fascists or to communists. They choose to help communists. Now go cry a river.

You're trying too hard, neo-nazi statist scum.

Didn't one of the parents get in trouble for naming their child Adolf or Hitler?

remember the parents that named their kid Adolf?

No. I'm going to sit here and mock you for the remainder of this thread.

Now thats hilarious

GOD DAMN IT HIVEMIND

I loved watching markimoo playing skyrim.

YOU FUCKS! YOU WILL NOT DERAIL THIS COVERT THREAD ADVERTISING SKYRIM, THE GREATEST FANTASY GAME EVER MADE!

REPORTED ALL THE NAZIS AND COMMUNISTS TO MY BEST FRIEND MARK!

It is time, brother

god fucking damn it, you fucking niggers keep using autistic names for autists that i don't recognise and i keep falling for it by giving them views because of this
fuck you nigger

I hate that Holla Forums ironically shitposts about Todd. He makes really underrated games and Fallout 4 was actually better than people use to say about it.

I still fap on piper.

You better show me proof you bought skyrim and fallout 4 or I will actually pull the pin

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I hate that Holla Forums shits on Todd even though he is handsome and honest man, maybe a little short, but still
He's a made man, and proud of it, and I will always look up ( or down ) to him

Yeah, Bethesda's games might not be what people expect from them but Todd is still Todd, and mods will fix the games

>Getting #triggered over anime images
Look, user. Real talk here. I'm turning the metaphorical chair around and sitting eye-to-eye with you here, like what they do when they need to talk with kids. Maybe use some of that hip new lingo to build a rapport. Is that groovy with you, dawg? I don't mean to dis you like that but I just want to be chill.
I get that you're new here; you heard about 8ch from somewhere, probably reddit, and thought that you can come here and be the little edgelord you've always wanted to be. I really do get it! But I need to let you know that sometimes it's better to take a back seat, before you get wiggity wack and need to check yoself. You dig? I guess what I'm trying to say is that you should maybe lurk more. Don't be so hasty to chime, just to appeal to the cool kids. You're better than that. I know you are.

Go go on and finish your recess, kiddo. Have some anime for the road.

I'd probably love that if I were a kid.

Yeah turbo, you sure is "turbo"

Highly depends where you live.
I'm guessing you're American, because over there they're really loose about what you can name your kids.

It seems i hit a nerve

Chances are he goes by his middle name.

user that's not how that works. I'm still mocking you, I'm just being more roundabout since I have a lot less smug anime girl images than I thought.

Are you retarded.

wew

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU RETARDED SHITPOSTERS DID IT, IM REALLY GOING TO PULL THE PIN

fucking plebs

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Do it Todd. Save us from all this.

I think it was the school complaining, not any legal entity.

keep frotting weaboo scum

I'll do it 4u fgt

You see that's also a thing: you keep using that word wrong. Don't tell me you learned it today and are so eager to use it that you don't even know what it means.

That's also not what frotting means. Did you mean "fronting"? I think you meant to imply that I was "fronting".

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skyrim isn't as bad as people say
fallout 4 is about 50 times worse
the tes lore will always make tes games at least decent tier forever, so long as they stick with the lore

but hitler liked old german pagans. Also shouldn't anarchism be in the middle since there are no rules?

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fuckign hell, i remember just yesterday skyrim came out and all the fags were sperging on Holla Forums about it, then this kid gets named dovohkiin.

there is a muslim girl I want to fug so i dont consider them all bad thanks to her.

Found a use for my pistol.

shit nigga im still like that after im 30 i will off myself no matter what

it seems like just yesterday everyone on Holla Forums was calling it the worst game ever until the next big budget shiny rolled by and that was the worst game ever made.

Not even that. It's only for like 15 years or so. His parents basically ruined his life in exchange for three free Bethesda games.

15 years isn't a lifetime, user.

user implies he will jump down of a building when he will reach 15.

It is when you'll most likely kill yourself during high school.

did no one notice his middle name is tom?

The kid'll just go by that, I knew a dude who's first name was fucking Xanthor, i'm not joking. He went by William or Will.

I read that as torn

he's so angry with his parents for being fucking retards that he's already red as a child.

Yet his parents probably calling him Dovahkiin all day long. "come here dovahkiin!", "you are adorable, dovahkiin!", "eat your vegetables, dovahkiin!".

And then after reaching age of going to school he will have to completely change to Tom. He'll still be bullied because everybody in school will know he's named after shitty game. And most important - skyrim will get older, and kids will probably hate that game for having poor graphics by that time, not for the fact its actually shit.

Holla Forums has really shit font. Even your "torn" looks exactly like "tom".

torn tom - fucking look at this shit.

looks like we got ourselves a weeb.
weeaboos are worse than niggers tbh fam

Still not how that word works.

You're trying too hard. Hating weebs here is equal to hating fascists on Holla Forums.

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Go to a subreddit if you can't tolerate anime on an imageboard.

b8

You do realise you can just filter people you dislike? You don't need to whine about them like a bitch.

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THATS IT, YOU RETARDS HAVE CROSSED THE LINE. VIDYA AHKBAR

You spelled "amused" wrong.

He's just being retarded, toddles.

I laugh at the end of every episode of Law and Order, no matter the outcome.

YOU BROUGHT THIS UPON YOURSELVES, YOU KEEP REPEATING WORDS YOU DONT KNOW THE MEANING OF LIKE A 7 YEAR OLD

Consider suicide.

Any form of socialism is retarded.

Communism or Nazism, they're both based on Darwinian and naturalist philosophies (i.e God doesn't exist so we can do whatever we want).

THE TIME FOR TALK IS OVER, NOW YOU WILL ALL DIE

ITS ALL OVER NOW, EVERYTHING IS FIRE
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Which is why I don't support socialist doctrine, I don't mind nationalism though.

Nationalism is biblical and fine.

Filthy infidel

What are you, a fucking sheep?

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Well he fucks sheep

Pics or it never even occurred faggot.

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They are goats

You know that fonts are configured in your browser, right? They don't magically spring from the Web. You retard.

So are admitting that you fuck them then, sandnigger?

NSDAP wasn't remotely socialist, at least not after Röhm was killed. Having something in your name doesn't mean anything (see also: Democratic People's Republic of Korea).

There are two things that can happen to this guy
1. He grows resentful of his parents and visits mongolian cave paintings with us
2. He kills himself when he reaches the age of 15

>Not Pliskin

>not David or Jack

sage for off topic

>Not The Memes

>not NANOMACHINES, SON

Why is Todd so angry ?

>Not Rules of Nature
>Or Aborted fetus baby

If I were to decide well in advance to name my kid "Loss" would the mother miscarry?

I think it would at least increase the odds. Too bad Tim Buckley wouldn't give anyone a lifetime supply of his shitty comics of you did that.

Has anyone made a Loss edit with those computer-generated dog faces that Google Images creates?

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you still butthurt weaboo scum?

I'd have to be butthurt first. Why'd you take so long to reply?

Don't tell me you were hoping I had left or forgotten about this. I mean why else would you come back after nearly three hours?

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We already have plenty thanks to our negroid friends. Remember L-a (Pronounced "Le-dash-a" because the "dash don't be silent")? We're already in the domain of retarded names.

I'd be laughing if my children ever told me their teacher is named Airwrecka or when they're working and their boss is a scrawny faggot named Jayden.

this guy knows

Holla Forums is just a circlejerk tho, Skyrim was a good game, Elder Scrolls is good, fo4 was indeed boring, but I didn't need basement-dwelling Holla Forumsirgins to tell me that

such is the circlejerk

Because video games haven't been getting more casualized and shittier.

Doesn't it actually sound like one of those weird eastern european/slav names?

BOOPER DOOPER
Can someone post that one webm of Disney >XD featuring him?

Yeah, I can see that.

people are far, far, far more depraved than that OP

there was a thread on Holla Forums yesterday about a black woman who used her 6 month old baby as a weapon against, iirc, her boyfriend
8ch.net/pol/res/6961608.html

reimu? i didnt hear about that one

because you are not important for me to waste my time here, you were prob waiting for my reply like a pathetic idiot for hours, werent you ?

Just fuck already.

can you name your own child "jailbait" or "please-rape-my-ass"?

I'm gonna find out, I'll let you know when I'm done.

except that children in a couple of years will think Skyrim is some incredibly cool, ancient relic that their grandpa played back in the day. there are already people who talk about fallout 3 as a "classic"

You retard, don't you realize what you've done!


You've summoned the fags, you've destroyed the thread!

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He's gonna be a fucking legend

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didn't that penis machinist chug a bunch of pee in some hentai? i think i saw it somewhere and it was almost hot

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gonna be great

Take some advise from director Robert Rodriguez:

His biological father probably calls him "my wife's son" even though he comes from his own sperm.

Maybe he goes by his second name, I do.

Ezekiel sounds more badass than Bob

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Sounds like a name someone would choose for his MMORPG character.

Become catholic for like a week and pick one yourself.

In episode 5 of the same hentai, this girl gets shitted by the protagonist guy

It's a Biblical name ya dip.

No

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I wonder if people will eventually start naming their kids after Chris-chan.

I've always said and I always will say that the official ranking goes:

Morrowind>Skyrim>Oblivion

Everything before Morrowind is a cesspool of shoddy emulation, compatibility issues, Windows 98, poorly aged mechanics, or mobile cancer. Daggerfall gets honorable treatment for setting down most of the lore but it falls into the above category.

I think I might have actually found the right mods to make skyrim playable.
TK dodge (so you can sidestep attacks), attack commitment (so you and enemies can't change direction while swinging), skyre (for stat and magic overhauls), revenge of the enemies (so enemies actually use every power they have instead of just doing fucking nothing while getting hit), and organized bandits (so there's a bit more variety of enemies though not nearly as good as the daggerfall npc mod for oblivion).
Still not perfect but a massive improvement with only a few mods.


Not that bad. I knew a guy called Eric Shin.


In my country someone tried to call their twins 4sure and 4real but was turned down because you're not allowed numbers in names guess I won't be calling my son 1337h4xx0r. Also Fish and Chips are ruled out as names too apparently. Something about naming your child something stupid being a form of child abuse.

Suddenly my own problems don't seem as bad.

that's where i draw the line, piss is barely tolerable

Own it, brother. It's a cool name.

uh

So how long till kid offs himself?

Wherever the puppy they had for a month wound up, that's where he is now.

Such is also the circlejerk

I'm convinced that some autistic Jap actually did this.

You mean the freedom for a people to be able to break themselves away from economic rulers who were corrupt to the core, were draining the livelihoods of peoples the world over, and who started a world war because they feared people would escape their grasp?

Ok, that's a good one. Clever fucking bastards.

Are you retarded by any chance.

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Aaaanyway

Do you know how romanization works? Marisa is literally just Melissa
Wow such foreign

Marisa is an actual name retard, the fuck are you on.

If you don't have a biblical name you should kill yourself.

>not being named after a nation-appropriate historical figure

Fun Fact, there is a woman who named her child "Yujinaka" as a first name.

Melissa would be メリッサ though

Have this.

what a gay

Half the time they don't know the proper pronunciations and just make something up that ends up being stupid.

Found it. Good ol' /jp/.


I was gonna post that screencap of the Korra story, but I seem to have misplaced it.

13 years more and depending on shit, he will either love his name and be a faggot dragon furry,

OR

that faggot will be here and someone will finally dethrone dongus the hedgehog

He'll probably just change his name when he's 18. You can do that for free in some places.
That's actually what most kids with retarded names do, like David Bowie's son.

i wish to fuck this koakuma

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She's 6 years old now, I wonder what happened to her?
Reimu is a pretty nice name actually.

recently turned 6
at least his first name is normal

Okay, this is just bullshit. Germany fucking declared war on the US first, you fucking faggot. If Germany wanted American allies, they should have offered something in return first.

Well at least most people won't hear it.

Its a photoshop of obamas BC you twat

Vorname is your first name. Surname is your last name. Since there isn’t an English word (vorname is German) for that, people generally tend to say Christian name and surname. Surnames traditionally come from your profession, at least in Europe.

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Life is pain.

But obama was born in kenya :^)

At this point you're no better than the average leftist that supports the immigration of muslims Terrorists.

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Are you mentally ill?

Just go with something with a similar meaning that sounds more normal then, like Lily.

Pretty sure snow is white.
Blanche? That's more like "white", though. Here are others that have same meaning:
Alba, Albine (Latin). Blanche and Blanchette (French); Bianca (Italian); Jennifer (Celt); Genevieve, Candice (from Latin Candida); Fenela, Fiona and Finola (Irish); Gwendoline, Gwenael, Nol(g)wen (white woman) (Celt), Nives (Italian) and Zuria (Basque).

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All things said, Alba is a beautiful name. That's how I named my daugther

My pun skills are fading.

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So I went on the google to see if anyone else had discussed this in the past year. Found this:

hollaforums.com/thread/10243940/video-games/dovahkiin-turns-5-this-year.html

The fuck?

Spiderbotfag made a new site after leakyforums apparently.

I bet her claps

I've no idea what the purpose of that is, there was another one called "Leekyforums" awhile back.

It grabs our site, replaces any reference of Holla Forums or any other board with “leekyforums” and uses our posts for ad revenue.

That's not so bad.
My dad named me krillin.
I went bald in 5th grade.

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Real communism existed only during russian civil war. Funny thing is that we call russian socialistm, stalinism - communism and national socialistm - nazism so "our" social democracy can be seen as somthing good.

I got you fam

Probably, it's a Japanese name.
I imagine there's dozens of Reimus in Japan.

/jp/see here, it's already been proven to be a total fake.

I know, but I'm not really talking about that.

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here u go fam

Why is it glowing red?

But why

cheeki breeki

Lifetime supply of STALKER

anuu

are you sure?

Ocelot?

What's wrong with Mario?
My brother's name is Mario, he was named after an artist.

I knew some spic named mario. Not exactly a big deal.

That's some fucked shit.

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Dude, i'm italian. Mario is a fucking real name here

Now we are talking about shitty Bethesda games, do settlers eat food you leave arround in fallout 4? Can you use your many resources or strange meat to feed your settlers?

I think there are some laws in Spain that prevent you from naming your child any non-christian name if you aren't a sandnigger of course.

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It wont be really that relevant in a few years or so when he grows up.

Seriously who is supposed to know what a Dovakiin is in 10 years?

You better be the strongest human and get the best girl.

Good shit fam

Parents are slavaboos, or got too heavily into the US Stalker subculture of the 80s.

Am I retarded for not understanding this chart?
I'm seeing "dictatorial" twice in a row, "conservative" four times across the board, and "anti-conservative" at the far-left and the far-right.

My Grandmother added Van to my father's name because "it sounded nice."
And she added it as a middle name, not part of the surname like it's supposed to be. Though I guess it doesn't matter much.

I might say fuck it and start going by Van [surname] eventually.

Personally speaking I'm planning on naming my first son after my grandpa, so I don't really get people who name their kids after stupid pop culture shit that will just make them a source of ridicule as they get older.

It was 2011 when they named him like that ,almost at release or shortly after.
Current society is much,much worse

Daggerfall also introduced the improve-with-practice leveling system.


If I ever have kids, I'm going to give them non-Biblical Germanic names, like Edward or Brenda.


In English they usually call it either your "given name" or "first name." "Christian name" is only rarely used, though it was more common in the past.

You want his daughter to get raped by some polack?