I have been meaning to write this letter for some time now and, in light of recent developments, I believe it is appropriate. Alas, listing all of our nation's woes that are directly caused by the jews would take up far too much of this letter: the spread of corporatism; a newfound interest by profligate politicos in stifling the free inquiry of science and the application of its discoveries towards bettering the lot of mankind; the increasing number of people who believe that the jews has achieved sainthood; and so forth. Hence, to keep this letter to the point, I will limit its focus to a discussion of how whenever anyone states the obvious—that the jews's lieutenants are ineducable—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, “Has anyone ever seen the jews working instead of plundering, stealing, and living off the sweat of others?” That's not a rhetorical question. What's more, the answer is so stunning that you may want to put down that cereal spoon before reading. You see, we must indeed transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. This is not because doing so is the moralistic pipe dream of the uninformed citizenry but because many serious practitioners of international statecraft see it as an essential goal of a sustainable international order. I have even heard from such practitioners that the jews's threats are a logical absurdity, a series of deductions from a premise that has been denied. Speaking of absurdities, the jews's devotees have tried, sometimes successfully and sometimes not, to use scapegoating as a foil to draw anger away from more accurate targets. What typically stymies them in this quest is their failure to consider the fact that I'm sure the jews wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on its secret meetings. So why does it want to feed on the politics of resentment, alienation, frustration, anger, and fear? The answer to this riddle lies in the observation that the jews's excuses are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause.
For those of you out there who don't know what I'm talking about, let me give you a quick explanation: The jews has stated that bad things “just happen” (i.e., they're not caused by the jews itself). I, not being one of the many rancorous mooncalves of this world, find such declaratory statements quite telling. They tell me that the jews is obviously up to something. I don't know exactly what, but there'll always be some crabby grammaticaster who's eager to complain about my use of English in this letter. He'll probably tell me that it's grammatically incorrect to use the word “vulgar” when writing, “the jews is a vulgar omadhaun.” Well, the fact is that the jews is a vulgar omadhaun, and it intends to put its vilipensive, tactless clericalism squad in charge of blocking streets and traffic to the extent that ambulances can't get through. We should not stand for that, with that, or by that. Rather, we should make it clear that mass anxiety is the equivalent of steroids for the jews. If we feel helpless, the jews is energized and ramps up its efforts to compromise the things that define us, including integrity, justice, love, and sharing.
Many years ago, I came to the then-tentative conclusion that the jews's essays contain a farrago of extraordinary claims with little or no evidence. While there are clearly exceptions to that rule, all these years later my conclusion is no longer tentative. In particular, I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about the jews's objectives. It's quite likely it will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that I feel no more personal hatred for it than I might feel for a herd of wild animals or a cluster of poisonous reptiles. One does not hate those whose souls can exude no spiritual warmth; one pities them. In closing, we must do everything in our power to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights. The fight must go on.