I've been reading for a long time but ultimately, I come to you Holla Forums. I used to be a maximum fedorafag, probably still am to some extent but as I started improving my life and started to swallow the redpills, I started seeing a grander design in things rather than believe everything is random based on a small set of laws. I feel like a creator exists, but my inner self tells me that I must always look for the truth, but this isn't a truth I can proove or discover, and this is eating away at me.
I know there must be something to it that I'm not seeing, because I believe thousands of years of western progress can't be build on nothing. There were very wise people before us, and they believed in god, I want to believe it wasn't a mindless belief that they inherited from their parents, white people don't function like that, their actions and beliefs are based on rationalization.
To add up to my difficulty in searching for an answer, I understand that there are little religious institutions left that hold any legitimacy. The pope is cucked, most churches obey blindly, and if you'll ask many followers you'll get generic responses. If you buy a bible, you'll get an ((interpreted)) translated version of a book that's been rewritten more than anything else on earth.
Drop me with your christianity redpills. Why do you believe, Holla Forums?