Gail Simone to write new Plastic Man series for DC YOU FAGS SAID DC WAS GETTING...

Samuel Green
Samuel Green

Gail Simone to write new Plastic Man series for DC

archive.is/w1bfh

First, the bad news: Gail Simone's next project is not writing the Batgirl movie (at least as far as we know). But we remain hopeful that Warner Bros. will come to its senses and give the people the Simone-scripted Barbara Gordon adventure we need.

Now to the good news, the really good news: SYFY WIRE can exclusively reveal that the beloved comics writer's next project is Plastic Man, a six-issue miniseries for DC Comics that launches in June. Simone will reunite with artist Adriana Melo (Birds of Prey, Rose and Thorn) to chronicle the adventures of the Golden Age hero, who was created by Jack Cole and debuted in Police Comics #1 in 1941.

YOU FAGS SAID DC WAS GETTING BETTER!

YOU LIED TO ME!

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Angel Jenkins
Angel Jenkins

(check'd)
the gail simone plastic-man announced back in 2013 is actually happening

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Benjamin Nguyen
Benjamin Nguyen

more like Fail Simone amirite

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Andrew Young
Andrew Young

Poor Eel. He’s going to be written as the gay trans homosex now

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Jacob Rogers
Jacob Rogers

I'm a newfag regarding her but afaik Gail actually has talent but she's to much of an SJW to use it?

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Alexander Martinez
Alexander Martinez

Gail Simone
Talented

She's a hack that got a job writing comics by bitching about the amount of women that were killed in comics. Her entire career is basically being the "woman" in comics, despite the fact she's a hypocrite that always tows the company line.

If her Plastic Man book is going to be anything like her other titles, then it's going to be hilariously awful.

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Jayden Reed
Jayden Reed

That pic
Is that real?
Isn't it an edit?

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Daniel Torres
Daniel Torres

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Tyler Brooks
Tyler Brooks

It's real.

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Michael Watson
Michael Watson

Oh gee, Plas, we gotta find out who's killing all these Muslim transsexuals
You're right Woozy, but first LET'S STUFF OUR FACES FULL OF ICE CREAM AND DONUTS
NEW Mary Sue OC: POTATO!

10/10 Wins all the Eisners.

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Charles Evans
Charles Evans

I: When did you and DC start talking about having you do this Plastic Man mini-series?

GS: It came about around a year ago. The mini-series is already written, actually. It's a nicely contained story that's a lot of fun and creepy, too.

I: Plastic Man is a very interesting DC character. He's obviously known for his humor, but he has great power and he's been around a long time. How did you approach the character to put a new twist on him?

GS: When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero. I"m obviously attracted to that. There's also this great mixture of tragedy in there, too, that I love. The humor comes from a place of pain. And a lot o people I know, the bravest ones, deal with their pain through humor. So I really like trying to find that balance and keeping that rollercoaster going where there is enough tragedy going on that the humor kind of helps you get through it, and that's what this series is.

GS: This character was so ahead of its time when it was created. The stuff we're seeing in Deadpool and Harley Quinn now, Plastic Man was doing in the 1940s. It's a character that was ahead of its time back then and the stories are still funny and still relevant. So just kind of bringing him into the modern DCU was the big thing for me.

I: He was known for humor when that wasn't what people expected of super hero books. Is that one of your goals with this gig, to raise the appreciation of Plastic Man?

GS: Exactly, and the content is about PG-13. I mean, Plastic Man is probably the only super hero who would dare make fun of Batman at a Justice League meeting.

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Leo Hernandez
Leo Hernandez

If she ever had talent it dried up a long time ago

Nathaniel Harris
Nathaniel Harris

I: Who else can we expect Eel O'Brian to cross paths with?

GS: First of all, nobody knows that Eel O'Brian is Plastic Man. The Justice League, the bad guys don't know, no one knows. And he ends up finding out that a group of the smartest super villains in the world have gotten together. And no one believes him. They just think he's bonkers. Basically it's up to him to stop this group from world domination.

GS: So just imagine the smartest villains in the DCU and you can probably come up with some of the cast members of this story (laughs), as well as some new characters that I've created too, including one in particular that I'm completely in love with and I hope will stick around for awhile.

I: Is it nice to have a compact, finite story tell in a six-issue miniseries, as opposed to doing an ongoing monthly?

GS: It is really nice but the truth is, even when I'm doing a monthly there are arcs and mini-arcs and there are things going on. It's just that I didn't want to leave too many things dangling at the end of this story. Whereas if I'm doing a monthly book, I can leave dangling things everywhere and balls in the air that I can pick up later.

I: You're working again with Adriana. She's been your partner before. Aaron Lopresti, your Wonder Woman/Conan artist, is doing the first cover. Are there other artists doing variant covers that you can tell us about?

GS: As soon as people found out this book existed, artists wanted to draw covers. So there are quite a few top names doing covers for us. DC is keeping some as a surprise but each issue will have a different variant cover from a different artist.

[Note: at this point, a DC Comics rep interrupts us to reveal that the artist behind the first issue variant is Amanda Conner, something Gail herself didn't know]

GS: I didn't even know about Amanda doing a cover, so that's a pleasant surprise. And I love Amanda's sense of humor so this is going to be good!

Live your dreams, Holla Forums. If this overweight fan fiction writer can get a job working in mainstream comics, you can too.

Robert Rivera
Robert Rivera

including one in particular that I'm completely in love with and I hope will stick around for awhile

We're getting another rat boy that Gail clearly schlicks to.

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Levi Sanders
Levi Sanders

Is…is this why Jack Cole shot himself? Like, on that August day in 1958, he suddenly had a vision of this happening, and immediately went out, bought a gun, and killed himself, all to make absolutely sure he wouldn't live to see it?

He sent suicide letters to his wife and his boss, Hugh Hefner. Maybe he warned Hefner about this but Hef died before he could prevent it.

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Benjamin Watson
Benjamin Watson

If this overweight fan fiction writer can get a job working in mainstream comics, you can too.
This fat fan fiction writer is in comics because she says the right things and knows the right people. You could not have picked a worse example

Brayden Thomas
Brayden Thomas

Jesus christ why did you remind me of that fucking comic.
Anyone gonna story time it?

Dylan Adams
Dylan Adams

Dear God, no.

Samuel Young
Samuel Young

Hopefully it will not affect how he is handled in The Terrifics. Lemire seems to have a good grasp in him, so his book could be a good counterweight for Simone's cancer. Her book will probably get cancelled after 6 or 12 issues anyway.
In the meantime, we can say goodbye to things like this for the time being.

I used to think so, because I found her initial volumes of Secret Six mildly entertaining when I was a teen. I came back to them decade later, and dialogues are either stupid or cringe inducing. It has some decent ideas, but that and fan service are her Secret Six' only redeeming qualities.

How new are you, faggot?

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Jacob Thompson
Jacob Thompson

When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero
Naw, the original Red Tornado beats him by a couple years. You'd think Gail would be all over an overweight, redheaded woman who has wacky adventures. Then again, I'd rather her stay away from Ma Hunkel. It'd be nice if they brought back her hot granddaughter though.

Jaxon Ortiz
Jaxon Ortiz

I wish I knew the context for that first pic. I’ll have to try and find it.

Gabriel Lopez
Gabriel Lopez

<He ends up finding out that a group of the smartest super villains in the world have gotten together. And no one believes him.

I don't know how this plot makes sense. Plastic Man's not some guy on the street, he's part of the League and has been for a very long time. Are you really telling me that no other person in the Justice League would not take a claim like that even a little seriously?

Jayden Davis
Jayden Davis

It's from JLA #33.

Hudson Morgan
Hudson Morgan

She's a hack that got a job writing comics by bitching about the amount of women that were killed in comics.
Well she had a little help from being on this man's forum and networking with other early Aught's "pros".
Tis true folks Warren Ellis heavily promoted this dame back in the early 2000's, along with some other cancerous folks on the Warren Ellis Forum. Tell me again user how much you liked Transmetropolitan now sonny.

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Ian Wilson
Ian Wilson

GS: When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero. I"m obviously attracted to that.
Gail Simone
writing humor

I'm now reminded that DC had Andy Suriano and Stephen DeStefano, the guys behind the Plastic Man short, on their fucking payroll as freelancers and never fucking gave them the Plastic Man book.

Fuck DC.

Adrian Nguyen
Adrian Nguyen

Tom Kenny loves the hell out of Plastic Man
He will never get to play Plas in his own full length cartoon

This is the worst timeline.

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Jose Miller
Jose Miller

Simone-scripted Barbara Gordon adventure we need
Why? To kill the DC movies for good?>>977566
I was pro-fag at the time, and halfchan had just opened /lgbt/ (it was quite fun for a few weeks, people were calling it /polgbt/, I dread to think what it's like now). I started reading Batgirl because of that character, and she was never used again.
I don't think they had the internet to steal stale memes from in the 40's… oh, she means fourth wall breaking and trope subversion. Pretty sure She Hulk and that one about the guys who clean up after superheroes did that pretty comprehensively in the 70's and 80's (Can you send some more help? One of my guys just had an origin).

Josiah White
Josiah White

Gail Simone
a comics writer who has a "tell, don't show" writing style
writing a character that relies heavily on physical exaggeration and surreal slapstick for humor

Oh, yeah. This is going to be total shit.

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Ian Roberts
Ian Roberts

So, is Gail Simone to Warren Ellis as Mark Millar is to Grant Morrison?
In other words, as Darth Vader is to Ben Kenobi?

Nathaniel Johnson
Nathaniel Johnson

What could go wrong for our hero?

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Tyler Green
Tyler Green

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Jordan Turner
Jordan Turner

Live your dreams, Holla Forums. If this overweight fan fiction writer can get a job working in mainstream comics, you can too.
And all it took was
<browbeating the industry over every little detail and claiming anyone who disagrees is some kind of -ist or -phobic
<build a cult of personality for how progressive you are
<get pushed in the always ready to backstab progressive circlejerk
<finally get work has hush money to quit your bitching
<never sell well because stunk from the beginning
<bitch when gigs slow down because you continue stink to repeat the cycle
It's fire proof I tells ya!

Jack Edwards
Jack Edwards

ON SALE JUNE 13, 2018
Featuring issue #1 standard cover by Aaron Lopresti, variant covers by Amanda Conner, and covers for subsequent issues by Melo and others.

Her book will probably get cancelled
The absolute state of reading comprehension.

Jace Wright
Jace Wright

God. I remember this. She cried to the internet and then her lynch mob attacked DC until she got the Batgirl book back. Good lesson there.

Grayson Ross
Grayson Ross

twitter posts

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Liam Cruz
Liam Cruz

Nah, because Darth Vader was also good in what he do.

Samuel White
Samuel White

I think the worst part is that her fat butt is preventing other, better women from getting into the industry.

Sebastian Kelly
Sebastian Kelly

Name one no really, I'd like to read their books.

Owen Fisher
Owen Fisher

Anyone got archive links of the original storytime for that matter?

Wyatt Myers
Wyatt Myers

I was pro-fag at the time
When did you realize they deserved to go back in the closet?

Jason Long
Jason Long

YOU HAVE SPOKEN THE MAGIC WORDS, ANONS! BEHOLD! THE MOVEMENT!

Way back in 2013, DC decided to capitalize on the "Occupy Wallstreet" movement long after "Occupy" stopped being a thing. They released two titles plus ad campaigns promoting them. The first was a new version of The Green Team, which was boring and an unworthy successor to Joe Simon's insane seventies comic. The other was THE MOVEMENT, written by Gail Simone. Neither title sold very well, with The Green Team being canned after eight issues and The Movement getting canned at twelve.

Yet, of the two, it's THE MOVEMENT is the one that stuck with us, because, unlike the bland Green Team, THE MOVEMENT is hilariously awful.

So drop those donuts and put down those milk-shakes! It's time to take a trip to the bathroom because THE MOVEMENT is here!

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Kevin Morris
Kevin Morris

So we're introduced to Gail's crappy anonymous rip-off, and one of the best characters in this heap, Captain Black Dynamite, chief of the world's shortest two story police station.

We also get to meet my personal favorite character, Burden, as he's about to enter a Presbyterian church. Gail makes a note of it, since she apparently thought there was only one Christian denomination because she's stupid like that. Anyway, Burden's got demon powers or something.

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Henry Bennett
Henry Bennett

Now we get to see the MOVEMENT in action, and their action consists of impeding police investigations and generally being self-righteous pricks. Gail makes no attempt actually make the good people or some justifiable conflict why they'd treat the police like douchebags. They're just heroes because Gail said so.

Also, this fucking dialogue.

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Eli Campbell
Eli Campbell

Nice user, you going to do the whole thing or just the first issue? I fucking love The Movement, it's such a clusterfuck of bad ideas and inconsistency I don't know where to begin. Burden getting his delusions reinforced with the way the team use him? The rip-off anonymous? The serial killer? One of the members being a spy for Amanda Waller who quits her job like a page after the idea is introduced? The Bat Girl cameo? I could go on all day long.

Chase Price
Chase Price

For example, black emotion reader thinks it's a good idea to not only talk down to Captain Black Dynamite, but to use her powers to tell him his wife is having an affair. It's an incredibly bitchy move and this title is full of shit like that. The MOVEMENT is made up almost entirely of completely unlikable assholes.

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Hudson Taylor
Hudson Taylor

The end of the first issue is a bunch of citizens telling a cop that they don't want them there, though if it were me, I'd welcome any sort of authority figure after all that shit just happened. Maybe they can do something about the rat boy that just ripped up my church or the demon boy that nearly killed a man.

you going to do the whole thing or just the first issue?

I have to storytime the whole thing because everyone needs a good idea of what Gail Simone is going to be doing to Plastic Man.

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Camden Sanchez
Camden Sanchez

… who hurt you user?

Benjamin Morales
Benjamin Morales

Gail Simone, obviously

Isaac Collins
Isaac Collins

Checking these quads.

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Ayden Gutierrez
Ayden Gutierrez

So did they let the kids run off with the drugs?
The Cornea Killer? Are they serious.
Cuz' we all know Jack as the prostitute throat cutter.
My parents call me burden
OWW THE EDGE'
K… Katharsis?
Ok, yeah.
That first page
1997 called, they want their Buffy pose back
Did she just punched a cop while under fire… dumbass.
I'm gonna read you.
But why though?
Your wife is having an affair.
Lel. Do you really thing this is the best moment?
I ride emotions.
What the fuck?
Did she just emotionally crippled a man for no reason?
My name's virtue.
My sides… I can't I actually wanna see the "Virtue Signal".
So wait? Was the rat boy a hero? And the other boy is shaking back there, poor guy.
He probably doesn't want anything to do with this, as a matter of fact, Wasn't he resting in the church? Did he came out for the group shot to look all like a coward?
What the fuck was that twist?
Did a pastor told someone he's not welcome in a church?

Daniel Myers
Daniel Myers

In THE MOVEMENT #2, the MOVEMENT has taken two officers of the law hostage and are now holding them in their lair, THE SWEAT-SHOP. The Swat-shop is clearly a reference to the Triangle Shirt-Waist factory that infamously burned up in 1911 and claimed the lives 123 women and 23 men, but what I want you to note how Gail uses it. It comes off that she just found out about it and decided to include it in her book without really understanding what it was.

This scene is also where we are introduced to the voice of reason that is Officer Joe Whitt. Despite abusing his power to demand a girl show him her tits, everything he says, in this series, is completely right. In fact, he is so right that Gail really can't figure out anything for her characters to say but "Shut up".

Also, it's not an exaggeration to say that the MOVEMENT is completely insane. Ratto is clearly mentally disturbed and they're deliberately choosing not to take him to professionals who can help him.

Comics hurt me, user.They hurt me every day.

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William Long
William Long

THE FINE CITY OF CORAL CITY, IN THE STATE OF CORAL CITY

Hudson Mitchell
Hudson Mitchell

hurr yur trespassing
Bitch this ain't your property and a fucking demon mutie and the ugliest pied piper ever is attacking the congregation. He has more right to be there than you.

John Morales
John Morales

Op you motherfucker, I have to do homework but I can't stop metokuring to this.
Huh… maybe we're being hypocrit…
Oh, Look a girl in a wheelchair!

Owen Butler
Owen Butler

Also, I noticed I call you OP, for some reason I forgot this storytime didn't start the thread.

Cooper Cox
Cooper Cox

Whoops, got a little ahead of myself. Still, look at that fucking kid. The boy needs therapy.

Burden continues to be my favorite. He gets a hoodie and starts talking about how the people around him are crazy. He's just a good boy, he doesn't need this in his life. He's in with the Movement's little meeting in the Daycare Center (why a sweatshop has a daycare is beyond me), and Gail reveals to us that none of these dickheads have any idea what they're doing. They just kidnapped two of Coral City's finest, proud law enforcement officers in the beautiful state of Coral City, off the street and that was as far as they planned.

I'm questioning if it's The Movement who no idea what they're doing, or if Gail just didn't think this plot line out.

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Parker Brown
Parker Brown

This is what I get for hanging out with liberals.
So, she's supposed to be conservative?

Lucas Mitchell
Lucas Mitchell

Communist or something, /leftypol/ hates liberals too what with how liberals have power and influence and tankies are less relevant than neo-nazis

Nicholas Jones
Nicholas Jones

Because of course, she's the biggest wacko there… and I must guess this was an accident, the only one who isn't an hypocrite and wants to do something.

So this is what happens when you don't go to Xavier's institute.

Nathan Thomas
Nathan Thomas

This dialogue just gets more and more cliche. I can't wait for the slang to start.

Big Tits McMetalwings fucks off to talk to the villain? He's so fucking generic that I can't even be assed to remember his name. He has the all the presence of a urinal cake.

Then the rest of them get into a fight because they need to see a witch or something.

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Blake Cook
Blake Cook

metokuring

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Mason Foster
Mason Foster

I'm bored

Logan Nguyen
Logan Nguyen

answering provocation from someone who is obviously a super-powered freak
For all that he's part of the master race, Officer Whitt(e) is not very smart.

Justin Carter
Justin Carter

I thought the idea was to film them confessing their… misdeeds.
What the hell would that do? If they planned to use the footage as evidence in court, it probably wouldn't be admissible. If they plan to release it online or something, there'll be people saying, 'They must've threatened them into making a false confession.'

Oliver Sanchez
Oliver Sanchez

The Movement #2 ends with the revelation that the witch they seek is named … "Rainmaker", complete with deer skin and tassels. Totally not racist at all. Does she also live in a teepee? Is her job working at her tribe's tax free casino?

You're going to want to keep Rainmaker in the back of your mind. She has a great scene later on.

Oh, and I also just noticed that nothing in Movement #2 comes close to resembling what's depicted on the cover.

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Brandon King
Brandon King

977852
we need this bitch's help but fuck respecting a rival gang on their own turf, kill them if you have too
If you tone down Burden's edgey demon dialogue he, Officer Meathead and Officer Brown are the only salvagable characters in this. I can imagine them getting a buddy comic where they're hired by the FBI to deal with supervillains on the more criminal and cult side of the equation in their place.

Chase Allen
Chase Allen

So Simone wanted to make Teen Titans 2.0 and ended up with morally unaware Watchmen… a certain kind of talent is needed alright.

Levi Butler
Levi Butler

Fruit snack?
Here we fucking go.

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Connor Hughes
Connor Hughes

Rainmaker
She's from Gen-13, this was her Nu-52 reboot. I don't know enough about the character to say how off this is from how she's normally depicted, but since she was created by Jim Lee and drawn by J. Scott Campbell my guess is this is a dumber design than she normally has.

Adam Sullivan
Adam Sullivan

From wikipedia
<Sarah is an avowed activist and spends much of her free time going to protests of one sort or another. She also has a tendency to lecture her teammates when they (often) fail to live up to her standards of political correctness. This habit is seen as both an annoyance and source of amusement by the rest of Gen¹³.
Aside from that last line, she might be perfect for this book.

Hudson Price
Hudson Price

I can read your emotions
your wife is having an affair
Sooo is that true or she just read his worries? How does it work

Dylan Hernandez
Dylan Hernandez

She was a Native American version of the Storm, but feistier, more opinionated, and with a bit of "I don't give a fuck" attitude with some things. Like wearing proper clothing, for example. Her superhero outfit was this throughout most of the series.

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Leo Cooper
Leo Cooper

Rainy was brutally deconstructed in the dream-story Gen13: Magical Drama Queen Roxy.

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Liam Robinson
Liam Robinson

Goddamnit.

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Jackson Edwards
Jackson Edwards

Fuck the police
Youth gangs are better
Unions sure are great
If only we could fire people instantly at the first allegation of sexual misconduct
Fuck factory owners
Hardworking immigrants
If only she'd been a bit more subtle about ramming her politics down my throat. I'd still have noticed but I might have some teeth left.

Dylan Rogers
Dylan Rogers

Truly sad indeed.

Damn that's pretty funny.

Landon Thomas
Landon Thomas

And mind you, this was 1998, before SJW was a thing.

Adam Edwards
Adam Edwards

Where do you think the girl power episodes came from? Political correctness was an issue throughout the 90s. There were a lot of similarities to what is going on right now, but things were not as bad as today. Even down to things like Jeanne Guraffalo being 90s equivalent of Amy Schumer.

Some films and TV shows from late 90s poked fun at PC activists. Old School had scene making fun of feminist activists on campus, and if I remember correctly, South Park used to make fun of feminists and Political correctness too. MadTV, SNL Kids in the Hall, and In Living Color had skits parodying activists as well.
Am I the only old enough here to remember that shit?

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Carson Jones
Carson Jones

Or the cries of the depressed, repressed or the easily impressed?
Holy shot nigga I'm crying, these dialogues are hilarious bare the fact that they appeal to me, she's just awesome, if SJWs were half as funny I would listen to everything they say.

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Zachary Thompson
Zachary Thompson

I agree, but those isms and phobias were not commonly talked before 2005, much less mocked before 2009, (a vague general of PC culture was) and for your average normie they still aren't. Whoever wrote this was in the know of the whole subculture.

Aaron Anderson
Aaron Anderson

guys, this woman consistently ruins everything she touches and tanks our sales
why the fuck do we keep her around again!?
oh right…. vagina quota

Christopher Jones
Christopher Jones

Bendis switched to DC, of course its not getting better

Jaxson Moore
Jaxson Moore

Did you die, user?

Nicholas Morales
Nicholas Morales

It can't stop. We gotta keep going with this MOVEMENT.

THE MOVEMENT #3 begins with Tinwings McLargeboobs kicking the ass of a heavily armed SWAT team. Now, as far as I can remember, Jugs there doesn't have any super-powers, so unless she's secretly Batman, this doesn't make a fuck of sense. I also need to point out again that this comic makes no effort to explain why so many people in this comic hate the police.

Also, another conflict that isn't explained why the Movement is up against the Evil White Dude here. Is he going to bulldoze the community center? Sell drugs to the community? Fill the "hood" with Starbucks? I mean, what exactly does Evil White Dude do that puts him and the Movement at odds?

Anyway, everyone else gets their ass kicked by Rainmaker, a character that I did not know was pre-existing character until this thread so nicely pointed it out. I wonder if Gail asked Jim Lee to sign off on one of his characters showing up in this heap.

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Dylan Jenkins
Dylan Jenkins

All of these "street heroes" are insane. Rainmaker is going to kill them all with her "shoot first, ask questions later" policy.

Three issues in and we're finally introduced to the cornea killer everyone talks about, about to kill some homeless guy. I don't think "cornea killer" really fits his character. I'm going to call him Eyeball Eddie from now on. Eyeball Eddie likes eyeballs and can make it rain over people. He's like a murderous version of the rain-cloud that hangs over depressed people in cartoons.

Now we get some actual scenes with Vengeance Moth, Gail's possible self-insert/Oracle knock-off/cripple and the character I hate the most in this garbage dump. I know Gail wants us to think she's all sweet as sugar, but in reality she comes off as condescending, patronizing, and just as self-absorbed as the rest of these assholes.

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Aaron Morgan
Aaron Morgan

past page, last panel
Well, yeah, that nice persona peeled off pretty quick and sudden.

Ian Myers
Ian Myers

Officer Whitt once again brings up a good point that the Movement does not believe in the due process of law, and denies him and his fellow officer the right to consuel, the right to a speedy trial, and every other protection we as a society have created to ensure that the law is upheld in a humane and just way. Since Gail doesn't really have a rebuttal to that, we quickly move on to the fight with Rainmaker.

Speaking of Rainmaker, she's just as retarded as the rest of them. Really, she looked at fucking Ratatooie over there and thought he was working for "The Man".

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Jacob Thomas
Jacob Thomas

Movement thread

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Blake Butler
Blake Butler

Nice of Virtue to just explain to everyone what was on the piece of paper Rainmaker slipped her. That it asked Virtue to call her and included her number. Nice of Gail to make it incredibly clear that despite saying she'd throw it away, Virtue pockets it. Gotta be subtle with all that lesbian shit after all.

The Movement #3 with Jugs jailed and Virtue basically threatening the police to hand her over or there's going to be a riot. You might think "Oh but Virtue just wants to get her team-mate back", but she's got a girl on her team who create earthquakes and a ratboy who can, apparently, tunnel underneath buildings. Virtue could just take Jugs if she wanted. Nope, this is a power play. She wants the cops to know who's boss.

Instead of us seeing Virtue as hero "taking back the streets", we instead see her as an urban terrorist. It's not going to get any better as this series progresses.

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Nathan Allen
Nathan Allen

I wonder if Gail asked Jim Lee to sign off on one of his characters showing up in this heap.
One of Gail's earlier projects was a feminist reboot of Gen13, wherein she put trousers on the main character.
She's probably tight with Jim Lee.

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Jaxson James
Jaxson James

that report
veteran Army man living on the streets and subsiting off scraps
Thanks Obama.

Aaron Butler
Aaron Butler

How did they know?

Noah Moore
Noah Moore

You gotta admit that firts cover is porntastic and doesn't tells you "capes" in any way.
That doesn't excuse whatever happened to their faces, I understand the SJW need to stop objectifying women but why do they redraw characters so ugly?

Jace Ortiz
Jace Ortiz

You gotta admit that firts cover is porntastic and doesn't tells you "capes" in any way.
And?

Asher Ward
Asher Ward

And?
Well, if an SJW would come and tell me this is an example of objectifying women in comic books I'll have to say "yes". Which they say is bad, I think is annoying at worst, fucking hot at best, but they're right, there isn't a single reason for her to do that in the cover beyond artist boner, although they did drew her very pretty.

Jayden Bennett
Jayden Bennett

Objectification is not a bad thing. You're accepting the premise

Christian Williams
Christian Williams

The real issue is that the cover doesn't really tell you what's inside. If I'm looking in a shop for a cape comic and see a bunch of teenagers posing I'm going to assume it's some sort of teenage drama thing so I'm liable to ignore it as something that doesn't interest me.

Slapping tits on the cover isn't an inherently bad thing, making it hard to tell its genre at a glance is. Basically, imagine an alternate universe where Batman never got big you saw a Batman comic where the cover was some smug rich bloke with a fit girl in each hand. Odds are you wouldn't be likely to pick it up if you were looking for a story about a man with anger problems and a fetish for leather, who spent his nights punching gangsters and solving mysteries.

Brandon Perry
Brandon Perry

The real issue is that the cover doesn't really tell you what's inside
Yes it does. It tells you exactly everything you need to know. There's a hot girl in it and she's in a team with some guys and some other hot girls
Basically, imagine an alternate universe where Batman never got big you saw a Batman comic where the cover was some smug rich bloke with a fit girl in each hand.
Strawman. The Gen13 cover is not that deceptive. It's not trying to mislead you about what you're likely to get

Nicholas Williams
Nicholas Williams

Gen13 books were written primarily for teenage boys and it does not try to pretend otherwise. Most Gen13 books are fanservice, over the top action, and juvenile humor galore. Cover is inaccurate.

they did drew her very pretty.
Well, it is an American comic from the 90s after all.

Luis Taylor
Luis Taylor

Oh no, we're not done yet.

THE MOVEMENT #4 opens with a fucking riot. Why are any of them doing this, seriously?

We get Ratto's origin story. He's a rich kid that chose to live in a sewer. Still doesn't explain why he won't wear a fucking shirt.

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Nolan Lewis
Nolan Lewis

It’s a real bowel movement.

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Nicholas Martinez
Nicholas Martinez

Some fucking cops these are. They should've been suiting up the moment they saw a mob in front of their precinct house. Also, where's the fucking newscrews?

Just like Ratman, we now get Jugs' origin story, and Gail once again shows that she just discovered that Christianity has denominations and that Thai people live in the US. Jugs is apparently a Thai refugee whose family was taken in by a Baptist family in Minnesota. Now I know that the vast majority of Christians in Minnesota are Lutheran, in keeping with their Scandinavian ancestry. In addition, just a little research shows that Thai people usually settle on the West Coast, where there have large communities, so a Thai family going all the way to the frozen wastes of Minnesota seems unlikely.

So Jugs was a cop, but got so angry that some guy killed an immigrant girl that she followed him home and castrated him. Well, she says she didn't, but it's a pretty specific denial that I'm leaning on that she did. Anyway, if you take away the text boxes, you get an origin story of a serial killer.

Back to the action, ratboy is now surfing a wave of rats into the station and I can only imagine Gail furiously masturbating to it. It's a disgusting thought and I desperately want it out of my mind.

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Juan Jackson
Juan Jackson

Now we get earthquake chick who was corrupted by western ways, killed some people while drunk driving, and got recruited as a spy for Amanda Waller. Gail really should've had earthshaking brown girl get drunk and cause an earthquake, creating some actual powers driven reason she'd want to atone, but I guess Gail really needed to talk about drunk driving.

Anyway, back at the action, Virtue is fucking baffled why the police would call in helicopters and a tank. It's just a super-powered riot headed by urban terrorists invading a police station, actively attacking civic institutions that exist to protect the citizens of Coral City, in the gorgeous state of Coral City. I mean, talk about over-kill.

Now we get Burden's back-story. Burden is Amish, and Gail doesn't know anything about the Amish.

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Josiah Bailey
Josiah Bailey

This is what Gail believes the Amish are all about. Exorcisms, floggings, and staunchly against medical science.

Well, Earthquake Momma quits working for Waller four pages after it's introduced. Then Rainmaker shows up and Captain Black Dynamite slugs Officer Chinese for fucking his wife. That must really humiliating for a black man to get cucked by a china man. Maybe his wife is a reverse size queen.

The Movement collect Jugs and then Virtue has the utter gall to call Captain Black Dynamite's station house "filthy". Virtue, a character who genuinely believes the law doesn't apply to her or her friends. Christ.

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Parker Parker
Parker Parker

The Movement #4 ends with a the anonymoose rip-off taking off around the world and some fags that we're never going to see again.

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Aiden Brown
Aiden Brown

Those heroes in San Francisco look like something from the 90's Liefeld style.

David Jackson
David Jackson

Gigantic anonymous movement
The "heroes" are a bunch of colorful asshats that destroy the whole concept

Out of all of the bullshit in the Movement, this is the turd that really gets me. You could've had some masked guys in plain clothes to fit the concept, but no, we had to have goddamn comic book superheroes.

It's the first clue that Gail Simone doesn't give a fuck about any of the "ideas" she presents in this book. Just wants to write to Birds of Prey.

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Elijah Baker
Elijah Baker

Oh look what time it is. I completely forgot to torture you with more of THE MOVEMENT.

Evil businessmen meet because they're worried about The Movement and are about ready to give up Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, all because some shit-heads filmed a cop. The Movement, such mary sues that their villains quail before them.

So Virtue and Captain Black Dynamite meet. We're supposed to be surprised that Captain Black Dynamite knows all about their webcam trial of the two officers they kidnapped, but I'm more focused on what they're eating. Fucking dipping doughnuts into milkshakes. Dipping doughnuts into milkshakes. Doughnuts I can see. Milkshakes I can see. Fucking both, together? That's something only a lard-ass like Gail would think of.

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Xavier Murphy
Xavier Murphy

The illegal trial begins, and the minority officer is a good boy and acknowledges the validity of this sham by entering a plea. It's the only scene in this entire series that makes me genuinely angry. Gail just has him give legitimacy to a fucking show trail that's going to kill both of them because they spooked a girl.

In these pages we learn that Officer Joe Whitt is a fucking hero who risked his own life to save a child. He earned a commendation for that, in addition to three others. He's an officer that takes his commitment to upholding the law seriously, and is even humble about it.

Fucking hell Gail. How am I supposed to like any of these Movement fags after hearing that?

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Aiden Thompson
Aiden Thompson

Turns out Rattigin has a crush on Earthquake Indian. I really hope she doesn't return his feelings because Rattigin probably has diseases.

Eyeball Eddie's back, and he looks like he's going to carve up some doll. I don't mean that as slang, I mean that her make-up makes her look like a doll. Meanwhile, back at the Sweatshop, Officer Whitt correctly points out to Officer Minority that The Movement is going to kill them. After all, what else are they going to do? They clearly don't have the facilities to keep them there long term, and there's no way they'll term them over to civil authorities. Officer Whitt, an upstanding officer with four commendations under his belt, causes a distraction by pushing Vengeance Moth over so that he and his partner can escape.

Unfortunately for them, Vengeance Moth is the most OP Mary Sue in this entire book.

Oh, and more of Gail's needless inserting of Christian denominations.

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Evan Edwards
Evan Edwards

So everyone flips out. Rattigan fights Eyeball Eddie and Jugs thinks murder is a good punishment for knocking someone out of their wheelchair. Thankfully, Deliciously Earth Brown Girl, who is one of the few not completely insane members of this god-forsaken team, steps in, stops Jugs, and helps the cops escape. Then she fucking quits the team because holy shit these guys are crazy stupid.

Back at the fight, Eyeball Eddie reveals that he's got friends …

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Jace Nelson
Jace Nelson

THE GRAVEYARD FACTION, who are fucking lame.

To think, this comic goes on for another seven issues.

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Jordan Howard
Jordan Howard

Why would you include the word faction in the name of your faction?

Cameron Sullivan
Cameron Sullivan

I wish we got to see the press conference where the company that hired the Graveyard Faction that these were the cities new protectors. On the one hand you've got topless black man andsome random white guy, on the other you've got barbed wire girl and the scartits. Because nothing sells safety and security like half of your superheroes being masochists.

David Murphy
David Murphy

Because nothing sells safety and security like half of your superheroes being masochists.

Again, one wonders what the hell is Gail trying to be saying here.

Are we supposed to be getting an authoritarian vibe from these guys? Because we're not. They look like a bunch of junkies.

Christian Peterson
Christian Peterson

The artist really deserved better

Hunter Collins
Hunter Collins

Shame he's one of the few good ones that are left.

Angel Turner
Angel Turner

What astounds me is with the whole 1% vs 99% around the two books, Green Team was genuinely heroic. Even without comparing them to the Movement. Book was boring but they were future supervillains.

Joshua Scott
Joshua Scott

Not future supervillains. My bad

Tyler Roberts
Tyler Roberts

In these pages we learn that Officer Joe Whitt is a fucking hero who risked his own life to save a child. He earned a commendation for that, in addition to three others. He's an officer that takes his commitment to upholding the law seriously, and is even humble about it.

Fucking hell Gail. How am I supposed to like any of these Movement fags after hearing that?
May… maybe she's being more sophisticated than we give her credit for?
Normally I wouldn't entertain such theories, but this just seems too much to ignore.

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Easton Fisher
Easton Fisher

THE MOVEMENT #6 opens with a bitch fight between Delicious Earth Brown Girl and Jugs. I'm wondering why this fight is even happening at all. Was Jugs really that hung up about punishing a fucking cop for wanting to see some tits? Also, why isn't Earth Brown Girl just wiping the fucking floor with Jugs? In Issue #2, Virtue says Earth Brown Girl can make your heart explode just by touching you. I know I wouldn't fucking want to mess with that kind of shit, no matter how angry I'd be.

Also, those fucking comments.

The Green Team is not a good book. They took the idea of "teen trillionares" and went absolutely no where with it.

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Asher Powell
Asher Powell

Everyone, except for The Movement, is having the appropriate response to this situation: Get the fuck outta there!

In addition to all of that, Burden is losing his mind. This is the second, possibly third, maybe even fourth, mental break-down in this group. All of these assholes need serious counseling, possibly medical attention, but since they're lead by the sociopath Virtue, they're never going to get it.

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Jaxon Williams
Jaxon Williams

Ratto meets the GRAVEYARD FACTION, and I really want to know why they think they're superheroes. They're called the GRAVEYARD Faction, and their leader is named Agony. You'd think that sometime before they welcomed a half-naked woman wearing a creepy hood that it would've dawned on them that they're probably bad-guys.

As Ratto flips around and shit, something I'm sure makes Gail all moist in the beef flaps, Virtue thinks the best way to help burden is to subject him to an exorcism. They, like Gail, know nothing about exorcism, but they do have a copy of the HOLY BIBLE: KING JAMES EDITION. Maybe they picked it up at a Chinese bootleg church.

Meanwhile, Jugs and Deliciously Earth Brown Girl mend their broken bonds over ice-cream because Gail is a fat fuck and all she thinks about is food and rat boys.

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Evan Rogers
Evan Rogers

Are doughnuts and ice cream an actual thing? Or is this more of Gail's wish fulfillment?

Oliver Torres
Oliver Torres

Last minute Virtue decides to go "Fuck it" and use her emotion powers, like she fucking forgot she had them the entire time. She pulls Burden's fear out of him and makes him a good boy, though I'm getting real tired of all the "Shut up" responses. Gail, you can't just have your characters say "Shut up" all the time to get them out of uncomfortable conversations.

Meanwhile, in the not completely insane world, it turns out Evil Generic White Guy is Eyeball Eddie's dad. It also turns out that people can just settle life-and-death struggles with ice-cream. You know, for being famous for "women in comics", Gail writes nearly all of her female characters as incredibly vapid.

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Aaron Howard
Aaron Howard

The Movement #6 ends with Ratto strung up like a Spider-Man badguy. I bet it was a really intense fight to, but we really needed to see Virtue bumble through a mock exorcism and read about bitches eating ice-cream.

I wish I could say Ratto is dead, but we just aren't that lucky.

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Bentley Barnes
Bentley Barnes

This character was so ahead of its time when it was created. The stuff we're seeing in Deadpool and Harley Quinn now, Plastic Man was doing in the 1940s. It's a character that was ahead of its time back then and the stories are still funny and still relevant.
I mean, she's right. Plas was tremendously ahead of his time and he was infinitely more charming and funnier than Deadpool has ever been. The Harley Quinn makes me shiver if that's her example of a funny comic book character.

But this
There's also this great mixture of tragedy in there, too, that I love. The humor comes from a place of pain.
To me speaks of a fundamental misunderstanding of Plastic Man.
The tragedy of the character is a very recent thing that's only been added because writers fundamentally misunderstand that Plastic Man's appeal is his roguish, absurdist quality and his lack of angst.
He was one of the first truly unique anti-heroes in comics, someone who is a hero and a crime fighter, but who doesn’t play by the rules or try and be a role model either and is clearly more interested in having fun than actually doing good.
He has far more in common with characters like Jack Knight and The Creeper.

I mean I expect Gail Simone to insert hamfisted feminist garbage in the series as she does with nearly everything.
But I'm far more concerned about what exactly does she seem to take from Plastic Man. I'm not looking forward to yet another revisionist take on a classic character stuffed with fakedeep dramatic nonsense.

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Jaxon Brooks
Jaxon Brooks

The closest thing I can think of is ice-cream and pancakes, but doughnuts just seems too much, too sweet.

Kevin Robinson
Kevin Robinson

The tragedy of the character is a very recent thing that's only been added because writers fundamentally misunderstand that Plastic Man's appeal is his roguish, absurdist quality and his lack of angst.

To be fair, Plas does have a tragic origin. However, like all good characters, it's a source of motivation and improvement, not despair and brooding.

and is clearly more interested in having fun than actually doing good.

I disagree. The entire reason he got into the hero game is because he wants make up for his criminal past. If he didn't care about doing good, he'd still be a villain.

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Colton James
Colton James

Oh I know it was a had book. But it's worst crime was being dull. The Movement somehow was worse

Adrian Gomez
Adrian Gomez

a monk
Might as well have given him 19 years in jail and called him Jean.

Henry Anderson
Henry Anderson

It certainly didn't help matters that DC tried to spin both books as "socially conscious" rivals.

DC Comics has been on the cutting edge of trying bold, new things for that last few years and this announcement is no exception. With these two brand new titles, DC Comics is taking the themes and issues that came to the surface with the Occupy Wall Street movement and are bringing both sides of the coin into the world of superheroes.

Note, this was back in 2013, well after OWS fizzled.

Considering how gung-ho she was about it, I feel the entire thing was Gail's idea. The Green Team was added just for advertising.

GS: The Movement is an idea I’ve had for some time. It’s a book about power — who owns it, who uses it, who suffers from its abuse. As we increasingly move to an age where information is currency, you get these situations where a single viral video can cost a previously unassailable corporation billions, or can upset the power balance of entire governments. And because the sources of that information are so dispersed and nameless, it’s nearly impossible to shut it all down.

GS: The previous generations of superheroes were not created to address this, it’s a legitimately new frontier, both for the real world and for storytellers. It’s an adventure story, but it really isn’t about mad scientists and jewel heists, it’s more about the injustices that can affect real people’s lives, just tarted up in costumes and superpowers.

It's funny how the Movement doesn't actually address ANY OF THIS.

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Jaxson Peterson
Jaxson Peterson

Jesus, as ham-handed and clumsy as it was, The Brave And The Bold's Green Arrow/Green Lantern road trip handled relevance in comics better than this hashtag trash.

Landon Long
Landon Long

DC being on the cutting edge
Wasn't that usually Marvel's thing? I thought DC was seen as the old conservative comic book company?

Jackson Hughes
Jackson Hughes

The only decent comic Gail has done in recent memory was that Wonder Woman/ Conan crossover.

Nicholas Parker
Nicholas Parker

Marvel being innovative stopped after Frank Miller left. Since mid 80s, DC took far more risks with their stories, especially once Vertigo came around. Marvel never published something like Doom Patrol, Watchmen, Hellblazer, or The Killing Joke. Instead, Marvel's comics relied more on melodrama and gimmicks. Their books were successful in the short term, but today no one gives a shit about Marvel's past tittles that aren't Miller's Daredevil or a handful of even older titles.

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Oliver Howard
Oliver Howard

Marvel never published something like Doom Patrol, Watchmen, Hellblazer, or The Killing Joke.
Firstly, they published Moore's Captain Britain
Secondly, you've named four books that, for one reason or another, basically killed the industry
Thirdly, Marvel's 80s burst of creativity didn't begin and end with Miller, Miller didn't 'leave' Daredevil until 1993.

David Sullivan
David Sullivan

Secondly, you've named four books that, for one reason or another, basically killed the industry
How did Doom Patrol or Hellblazer kill the industry?

Bentley Nguyen
Bentley Nguyen

Same as the other two. Tons of imitators

Liam Reyes
Liam Reyes

Doom Patrol and Hellblazer killed the industry
They had far less imitators than TDK or The X-Men. As far as "comics that killed the industry" go, I would put Maus as the most important one. It opened floodgates to authors using comics as a soapbox for their pontificating. Even worse, it planted the idea that comic creators will be taken seriously and achieve mainstream and critical success only if they write about social issues.

It's not books specifically that killed the industry, but incompetent people who blindly tried to copy them. They did not learn that taking risks, originality, thinking outside of the box, and putting serious effort into both writing and art are good things and reasons as to why these books succeeded. They only emulated superficial aspects of them. Mainly angst and/or edginess. Lately there is also Mister Miracle, which poorly uses 3x3 grid.

Captain Britain
Captain Britain was not as revolutionary as Miller's work or what Moore did later at DC comics. Besides, Britain, Miller's work, and Power Pack were anomalies in Marvel. Other than that, Marvel was dominated by edgy soap operas that most of their books were at the time.

Miller didn't 'leave' Daredevil until 1993.
My bad. For some reason I keep forgetting that Miller kept working for Marvel after TDK

Daniel Collins
Daniel Collins

Boy THE MOVEMENT #7 has a shit cover. You never show new, threatening villains from above.

We open up with Eyeball Eddie talking with his dad, Generic Evil White Guy, and it looks like Eddie's got a Lenny thing going on with how he calls his dad "daddy". Gail also immediately neuters both of her antagonists by making them far more human than anyone in The Movement.

Back with the crazy people, we spend a page of them trying to figure out how to cut Ratto down before Jugs remembers she has a "thing". That "thing" is a knife, a butterfly knife to be exact. Why we needed to know that Jugs had a butterfly knife is a mystery.

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Jordan Clark
Jordan Clark

That's a big guy

Noah Harris
Noah Harris

Virtue heads out to check on the lifeless corpse of Ratto and leaves Vengeance Moth in charge of Burden in his post exorcism afterglow. As she offers another goddamn fruit snack, we learn through text boxes as if you couldn't already tell she was Gail's favorite that she's got muscular dystrophy and used to be a SUBSTANCE ABUSER. We got a fucking glue sniffing cripple in here! A gas-huffing gimp!

So they go to treat Ratto, which is something that is well beyond the ability of these fucking morlocks, and the Graveyard Faction is just watching them from an alley like they're Boris and Natasha. Then they have Jugs fly him to the hospital because I'm sure that won't make things worse for a disease riddled rate man who got pounded to a bloody pulp.

Oh, and we get even more text boxes from the gas-huffing gimp, and it turns out that Burden's got sex issues. He's plagued by unnatural desires. You can see where this going, can't you. Blonde boy, abused by parents, god-fearing, surrounded by crazy people. We're going to find out that Burden is a furry.

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Lucas Adams
Lucas Adams

And all of that innovation was flushed down the toilet after Didio took over and turned DC into a neckbeard soap opera with bullshit like Identity Crisis and GL: Rebirth.

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Andrew Ramirez
Andrew Ramirez

We're supposed to think that Officer Whitt's plan to fucking raid The Movement's hide-out while their guard is down is underhanded and evil, but is it? These underdwellers have clearly shown that they're a threat to themselves and others. Officer Whitt is clearly in the right on this.

Case in point, what does the gimp do when they find out they're going to be raided? She tells everyone to hide in the basement. Why? This place has been shown to have multiple exits, why not tell the civilians to evacuate? Whoever's coming is clearly there for The Movement, so there's no reason to keep the civilians there. Maybe The Movement plans to use them as hostages.

As Jugs informs emergency room staff that their patients are now going to be subject to a massive rat infestation, Gimpy offers the Graveyard Faction a fruit snack. It wasn't cute the first time, and its not cute now. Creepy hood big tits knocks her the fuck out, and one would think that you'd realize you're a bunch of villains when you order your team-mates to torture a girl.

At the hospital, Gail tries to impress everyone by having a doctor spouting a bunch of completely unimportant medical gobblity-gook. It's the sort of amateur comic writer shit I've come to expect from her. Back at the station house, Officer "I fucked my boss's wife" Yee stands up to Officer Whitt's to stop his plan to save the people of Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, from the madmen running rampant through their streets. Why?

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Joseph Collins
Joseph Collins

Captain Black Dynamite, for no reason, shows up alone in Ratto's hospital room and just gives Virtue the file on the Graveyard faction. He also references the "shadow government", which makes me wonder if Gail is talking about the Illuminati.

Back at the hole, I might give the Graveyard Faction a lot of flak, but they have the team-work shit down. Look at them. They have true camaraderie, are quick to protect each other, and show respect to one another as equals. Contrast it to the raw insanity that is The Movement. I want a book about the Graveyard Faction trying to be good guys while being obvious bad-guys.

With Gimpy "feeling the muscular dystrophy", all the people she put in harms way by not ordering an evacuation are now at the mercy of the Graveyard Faction. So she uses the last of her strength to tell Burden the exorcism that brought him inner peace was a fucking lie and he's still got demons inside him.

What a selfish bitch.

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Alexander Watson
Alexander Watson

The Movement #7 ends with possibly the best description of The Movement. That horrific, lovecraftian abomination was once a normal kid. Then The Movement happened.

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James Moore
James Moore

Amish
dressing like filthy english from one of their devil sitcoms
Not only does Gail not know what the Amish are, neither does the artist

Daniel Moore
Daniel Moore

It was gone long before Didio came on board. Once Vertigo was created and books like Swamp Thing, Doom Patrol and Sandman were consolidated into that, DC let them do the innovative stuff while they chased 90s trends. Granted, DC chasing 90s trends did result in some entertaining stuff like Young Heroes in Love, Major Bummer, and Hitman.

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Josiah Ross
Josiah Ross

Granted, DC chasing 90s trends did result in some entertaining stuff like Young Heroes in Love, Major Bummer, and Hitman.

That's still more innovative than anything DC has published since 2004. At least then they were committed to new things.

Hitman lasted 60 issues. Kyle Rayner spent 10 years as THE Green Lantern. Today? That stuff barely lasts a year.

Logan Hill
Logan Hill

Solicits out.

PLASTIC MAN #1
Written by GAIL SIMONE • Art by ADRIANA MELO • Cover by AARON LOPRESTI •
Variant cover by AMANDA CONNER

Retailers: This issue will ship with two covers. Please see the order form for details.
Meet Eel O’Brian: a petty thug, thief and con artist who runs a strip club. Hey, he’s also dead, at least according to the gang that tossed him out like last week’s garbage. Literally. Don’t worry, though—he bounced back from all that, and now he’s trying to make a new life for himself, but the effort is stretching him pretty thin. How can he get revenge on his old boss, keep a street kid out of trouble, make a dancer fall in love with him and stop a mysterious society from taking over the world? Eel has no idea!
On sale JUNE 13 • 32 pg, FC, 1 of 6, $3.99 US • RATED T+

Plastic Man
Rated Teen +

WUT?

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Isaiah Davis
Isaiah Davis

Having separate imprints for separate demographics, all dedicated to GNs is something revolutionary as far as American comics go. This idea has potential, but I am afraid that failure of poorly written agenda books will kill most imprints before anything good has a chance to come out.

That sounds like a clusterfuck of a story. It would not sound good even if a competent writer would be in charge of the book.

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Juan Ramirez
Juan Ramirez

Having separate imprints for separate demographics, all dedicated to GNs is something revolutionary as far as American comics go.

It would be if DC actually had anything to back it up. From what I've seen, it's their same shit, just "different". You have baby Batman, Batman in high school, and Batman saying "fuck".

Remember when Vertigo started out and made obscure heroes like Sandman, Swamp Thing, Shade The Changing Man, and the Doom Patrol their own? Where is that with these new imprints? Is that too risky for DC?

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Joseph Hill
Joseph Hill

Major Bummer was pretty fun.

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Grayson King
Grayson King

By the look of things, new weird books will be a part of Young Animal imprint and there are some plans for Vertigo. Right now Vertigo will have a line of Sandman Universe comics, curated by Gaiman.

Where is that with these new imprints?
Re-imagined Shade the Changing Girl/Woman and Doom Patrol are now in Young Animal. Shade is mediocre. Doom Patrol is good, but pacing is a little odd and book is plagued by delays - most likely since Gerard Way is stretching himself too thin. Young Animal also has Cave Carson (decent), Bug! The Forager (mediocre), and Mother Panic (mediocre).

David Sanchez
David Sanchez

curated
Try not to gay the place up with this shit, ok?

Grayson Thomas
Grayson Thomas

I was really excited for Young Animal when it was announced, but that quickly dipped when it started to actually come out. My problem is that, as you said, most of the books just aren't that great. The whole line seems kind of disingenuous to me. Like it's screaming out loud about how different it is, without actually being different. Now I only read about the first 6 or 7 issues of most of the books, so maybe they ended up growing into their shoes, but to me they just seemed like pale imitations of early Vertigo. Like they were going out of their way to look weird and evoke that hip feeling of those books, but didn't bring any substance. Even the best book, Doom Patrol, still feels like it's Way trying to be Grant Morrison.

Nolan Gomez
Nolan Gomez

Finish what you started, you monster. You unleashed this horror on us, it's only fitting that you end it.

Easton Cox
Easton Cox

This

Austin Smith
Austin Smith

Anyone got a torrent?

Nicholas Sullivan
Nicholas Sullivan

YOU'RE A DEAD MOTHER FUCKER NOW! NOW YOU FUCKED UP! YOU HAVE FUCKED UP NOW!

Because now I'm going let loose even more issues of this monstrosity.

THE MOVEMENT #8 continues from the whole "turn a good boy into a horrible monster because we fucked up" from the previous issue. Officer Whitt, heroic police officer in the service of Coast City, in the mineral-right state of Coast City, emotionally tries to get Officer minority to step aside. Look in his eyes, you can see how much he doesn't want to hurt another officer, but he knows just how big of a threat The Movement is. He's left with no choice but to strike his brother in blue down.

Back in the sewer The Movement lives in, we get some insight to how the members of The Movement think. First, in addition to knowing stuff that she shouldn't know, like the Graveyard faction's name, Gas-Huffing Gimp automatically assumes they're there to kill the people that she's basically imprisoning for no reason. She absolutely will not accept that the Graveyard Faction might be there because they're a bunch of insane menaces to society.

Of course, Gas-Huffing Gimp gives a slight, sociopathatic smile to her handy work, the utterly deformed Burden. The thought doesn't cross her mind that she destroyed a young man's life. He's just a tool for The Movement to use. Contrast that with the "villains", the Graveyard Faction, who desperately try to save their comrade from the clutches of the Burden-Beast, with Big Buff Black God even trying to distract him to save his friends.

The Graveyard Faction is what The Movement wishes it was. Friends to the end.

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Elijah Collins
Elijah Collins

I want you to look at the second page here. Of course, since this is a Gail Simone book, we have to have LESBIANS, with Virtue and Rainmaker paired off as the designated carpet munchers, but this shit is fucking inappropriate. VIRTUE IS UNDERAGE. Rainmaker gets a reservation at an expensive looking restaurant, puts on a slutty skirt, brings a bouquet of roses, and buys a bottle of champagne all to seduce an underage girl.

Oh good, we get more of Gail's glue sniffing cripple, who someone is able to knock Anguish out while seated in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, Captain Cuck Dynamite gets the call that Whitt is trying to do his job as an officer of the law and he's going put an end to that right now! At the precinct, the two minorities and woman stand against the scary white man who just wants to keep his fucking community safe god dammit! THERE'S NO DAMN REASON FOR THEM TO DO THIS!

I uploaded it to the Holla Forums vola.

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Zachary Peterson
Zachary Peterson

Gail Simone learned the word Taphophobia and found a way to shoe-horn it into a comic. Ratto wakes up and gives Earth girl the creepiest pick-up line I've ever heard. Then he gives her a disease by kissing her. Gail's fetishes are just as disgusting as her fat hide.

Man, the Graveyard Faction is a good team. Too bad The Movement is going to unleash their god-mode sue powers on their asses.

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David Murphy
David Murphy

Virtue is the text-book definition of Mary Sue. She's able to get the whole Graveyard Faction to leave with her awesome god powers. Officer Whitt, the only good character in this heap, is fired for striking an officer, which means the cops are going to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about The Movement.

Christ I hate this book so much.

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Parker Morris
Parker Morris

The Movement #8 ends with this shit getting worse, because now we're getting Gail Simone Bat-Girl thrown in the mix.

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Jace Davis
Jace Davis

I never knew she was in this from the last storytime.

Cooper Taylor
Cooper Taylor

Rainmaker gets a reservation

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Hunter Wright
Hunter Wright

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Oliver Foster
Oliver Foster

Funny enough that guy was Italian.

Hudson Wright
Hudson Wright

There was a Sopranos episode on it

Aiden Campbell
Aiden Campbell

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Angel Barnes
Angel Barnes

FRUIT SNACK FRUIT SNACK FRUIT SNACK

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Levi Wood
Levi Wood

Well, if an SJW would come and tell me this is an example of objectifying women in comic books I'll have to say "yes".
Well then, you're a faggot. Can you even explain what objectification is or why it's even a real thing?

James Gomez
James Gomez

What the absolute hell, bitch throws an tantrum about a girl she didn't even care to know and slices up a guy like a hunk of meat and Gail calls this the origin story of a hero?

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Jason Butler
Jason Butler

yes.

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Charles Russell
Charles Russell

Well, if an SJW would come and tell me this is an example of objectifying women in comic books I'll have to say "yes"
Who the fuck cares what a FICTIONAL woman looks like on the cover of a FICTIONAL story? I don't see why we need to get rid of eyecandy just because it might offend some people's delicate sensibilities.

Jackson King
Jackson King

Her appearance explains everything. Funny enough before I saw her picture I used to think she was black for some reason.

Dylan Garcia
Dylan Garcia

GIANT GORILLA HANDS

Oliver Campbell
Oliver Campbell

The hell.

Anthony Baker
Anthony Baker

She might as well be

Grayson Robinson
Grayson Robinson

Gail Simone Bat-Girl
Care to elaborate for the ignorant? I mean I can already tell( ) but I'd like to know more.

Noah Ward
Noah Ward

THE MOVEMENT #9 - IT'S MARY SUE VS. MARY SUE! WHO WILL WIN?

BATGIRL shows up in Coral City, in the beautiful state of Coral City, to pick up some super-powered asshole. Of course, since Gail is writing this, Batgirl sounds like a fucking psychopath. No questions, no demands for an explanation, just fucking beating the guy for being confused as fuck. I swear that Gail gets worse with every issue. How can she write this dialogue without cringing herself into a black hole?

Anyway, we get to what Gail really wanted to see: A naked Ratto screaming in a bathroom.

What's there to say? Gail Simone, after years of campaigning, finally got on Batgirl for the Nu52 and it was complete trash.

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Carson Myers
Carson Myers

Anyone willing to storytime?

Bentley Price
Bentley Price

Gail makes the shower scene as loooooong as possible. Gotta get all the naked Ratboy images she can.

Batgirl meets the anonymous rip-off that tells her to leave the black light guy alone. Batgirl still sounds like a psycho, making me think it must be nice to have enough clout to basically get scripts published without editorial approval.

Ratboy and Earth Girl go on a date and it's the most fucking disgusting thing I've read in a comic in a long while. Gail really fucking does get off to dirt and filth holy fuck. The rest of the Movement is worried about the fact that they've got "their first real superhero". However, instead of being invested in the conflict, most people reading this would find both Batgirl and The Movement unlikable assholes and hope that they kill each other.

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Kayden Evans
Kayden Evans

You know, Gail, acknowledging your character sounds like a bitch doesn't do anything to solve that particular problem.

Batgirl, of course, is OP as fuck, and is able to take out Jugs in one punch. Then we've got rats and MORE FUCKING FRUIT SNACKS. THEN THEY GO OUT FOR DOUGHNUTS AND MILKSHAKES BECAUSE ALRIGHT.

Christ, this fucking book.

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Ryder Clark
Ryder Clark

It's like they're trying to outdo each other in an "unlikable asshole" contest. I can't emotionally connect to anything going on here. It's like Gail was trying to make The Movement and Batgirl so fucked up that only people just as fucked up would get them.

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Joseph Bennett
Joseph Bennett

The Movement #9 ends with Black Light killing two cops. I don't know if we're supposed to care about that seeing as the past 8 issues made a point of the cops being evil.

Also, The Joker's Daughter, just because I wanted to remind you all of that train wreck.

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Nathan White
Nathan White

Anyway, we get to what Gail really wanted to see: A naked Ratto screaming in a bathroom.

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David Moore
David Moore

And of course they're still using their hideout that was just attacked by their enemies because Gail Simone is a moron.

Caleb Howard
Caleb Howard

Gotta say, Bat-girl looks pretty hot.

Grayson Wilson
Grayson Wilson

You are just retarded
Check the ads for tyres and look at it closely….the half naked chick doesn’t have to be there at all to show how good the tyre are but since sex sell they place it there to attract people
Basically using it as an extra object
Same goes for perfumes for man. It doesn’t need to be half naked with rip abs but it’s there anyway

Aiden Garcia
Aiden Garcia

For a coal burner, I guess.

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Christopher Peterson
Christopher Peterson

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Isaiah Perry
Isaiah Perry

Spend a day wondering why I'm doing this
why I'm subjecting others to this shit comic
why I endure this infurating garbage
then I remember we've got to get to the hilariously awful Issue #11

THE MOVEMENT #10 has a cover with crayon drawing tier animal motifs. I see a vampire bat and some fucking bird that doesn't exist.

Back in the incredibly dangerous pit where these insanos live, THE MOVEMENT is going to blackmail Batgirl into doing whatever they want by taking photos of her secret identity. You know, shit villains do because The Movement is a bunch of crazy people who aid and abet murder suspects and take over police stations. However, Batgirl starts to wake up and gets PTSD flashbacks to the fucking cluster-fuck Nu52 continuity was. Really, Barbera was Batgirl, crippled, became Oracle, healed, and became Batgirl again in the span of a couple years in book.

However, that's nothing compared to Nu52 Batman, who managed to burn through five Robins in the span of three to four years.

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Noah Martin
Noah Martin

Batgirl promptly beats the ever-loving shit out of The Movement. Normally, I'd be completely on board for any form of assault that meets these assholes, but Batgirl isn't fighting them for just reasons. She's fighting them because she's flipping the fuck out and her response to get triggered is to savage everyone in sight. In fact, it gets worse because it's clear that when she's in this state, she actively looks for people to beat up. Batgirl is a fucking sociopath.

Of course, Gail just fucking glaze over this and now The Movement and Batgirl are friends again. Batgirl doesn't even apologize for brutalizing and The Movement sure as hell doesn't apologize for knocking her out and trying to blackmail her.

When I said that Batgirl beats the shit out of The Movement, I should've clarified that she beats the shit out of everyone in The Movement except Jugs. Jugs is off looking for black light negro, because Gail wants her to fuck a guy she just met.

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Carson Anderson
Carson Anderson

calls user retarded
can't actually explain why 'objectification' is a bad thing

Juan Green
Juan Green

Alright, it's our pals THE GRAVEYARD FACTION! Are they regrouping for a counter….oh…I see. They're officially out of the book now. Don't think Gail really understands the whole "superhero" genre.

Back in the hole, we get girl talk that basically amounts to "Fuck you, thems the breaks". They tell us nothing we already don't know and serves only to make them look even more like unlikable assholes. Oh, and fucking Deliciously Brown Earth Girl is asexual. It has no bearing on anything, but if it's what's keeping her from become as insane as the rest of The Movement, then more power to her.

Cut to rooftop where Jugs just fucked some nigger she didn't know and we get some of the worst post-coitus dialog I've ever read.

Are … Are you a goddess?
The wings and all.
You make love like a goddess.

Reminder that Gail Simone is the representative of women in comics and has legions of fans.

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Hudson Anderson
Hudson Anderson

Apparently that nigger's got a dick full of magic, because Jugs immediately wants to run away with him and protect him from Batgirl. Seriously, forget the light powers, he's menace so long as he's got that penis!

As they try to escape, they meet The Movement and Batgirl, and for some fucking reason, Virtue disagrees with Jugs spiriting Wonder Willy away. Virtue, the same woman that was willing to black-mail a superhero to get her own way and had absolutely no problem helping a murder suspect escape. What the fucking fuck?

Jugs, forced to face the crimes that Wonder Willy committed, decides the best option is to RITUALISTICALLY CUT HIS HEAD OFF.

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Isaiah Harris
Isaiah Harris

The Movement #10 ends with Batgirl saving Magic Dick's life, but then fucking leaving him in Coral City. Did Batgirl forget that Magic Dick is wanted for murder? Multiple murders? Where's the fucking JUSTICE? She lets a murderer walk free for no good reason.

I've brought this up before, but after reading this comic multiple times, I've come to genuinely think Gail has no fucking idea how superheroes work. It's as if she thinks she's writing a costumed version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with absolutely no regard for what the genre is about. Gail Simone's entire career has to be a fluke, because I cannot believe that this author has wrote anything, of any value, ever

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Lincoln Barnes
Lincoln Barnes

Seriously, forget the light powers, he's menace so long as he's got that penis!

I got just the stuff to stop him!

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Jose Watson
Jose Watson

It's as if she thinks she's writing a costumed version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer with absolutely no regard for what the genre is about.
Not even that. For all that I loathe BTVS, at least the protagonists try to be heroes and do the right thing. The Movement is a third world dictatorship enforced by psychopathically ruthless yet goddamn incompetent superpowered thugs.

Josiah Morales
Josiah Morales

So, basically Sonichu?
Jesus, at least Bomb Girl knows what it is.

Colton Bell
Colton Bell

The Movement is a third world dictatorship enforced by psychopathically ruthless yet goddamn incompetent superpowered thugs.

I don't think this is the Occupy allegory Gail was aiming for, but I'll take it.

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Leo Bennett
Leo Bennett

Oh, and fucking Deliciously Brown Earth Girl is asexual.

To be honest, I'd say I was asexual too if a rat wanted to fuck me.

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Blake Adams
Blake Adams

Finally, my time is now!

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