TODAY IS CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!
On this day, 36 years ago, GodJesus and the Bear blessed us a miracle child named Christopher Christian CHRISTINE WESTON CHANDLER, better known to us as CHRIS-CHAN! On this magical holiday, we once again celebrate his insane life by storytiming his greatest creation SONICHU!
So hang the attraction signs and burn down your houses, Holla Forums! It's time to party with Christian and the Hedgehog Boys!
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THREAD THEME
There's probably not a lot of people around who remember when Chris-Chan was discovered. When that blurry photo of a mysterious Pokemon warrior was posted back in 2007.
Anyway, we see the creation of the greatest hero the world shall ever know, SONICHU, and his beloved ROSECHU!
Sonichu was created when Chris was given a CD cover assignment where he couldn't use copyrighted characters. So he took his two favorite things, Sonic and Pokemon, and promptly infringed on both of their copyrights by created SONICHU!
While it's expected that a child might not follow guidelines of such a homework assignment, Chris, however, was a 19 year old high school student at the time.
Does Sonic ever come back after issue 1?
My favorite part of Sonichu is how Chris's real life bleeds into the comic. There are things that happen in the comic that actually happened, and what we see is Chris's bizarre interpretation of the events.
Already, we got Sarah Hammer, one of his high school "gal-pals", Wes Iseli, the guy who inflamed his jealousy by going out with Hammer for awhile, and the infamous Mary Lee Walsh, Dean of Student Affairs of Piedmont Virginia Community College that Chris has a burning hatred for to this day.
More on that later. Right now, love is in the air.
What a lovely fanart this chi-
In Sonichu, as with Chris's life, the mall is a sacred place.
To say that Sonichu is "overpowered" would be putting it mildly.
In Chris's imaginary world of Sonichu That Chris believes, to this very day, is completely real, Chris is the mayor of CWCville, and his office is in the CWCville Mall. This will be important later.
This is where we get to the heart of Chris's entire life: The Love Quest. Having a girlfriend is incredibly important to Chris. When he was young, he had a dream that he had an office job, a wife, and a daughter named Crystal. In this dream, Chris was happy. This has become his mission in life.
However, Chris is his own enemy in this quest, as he's far too arrogant, creepy, incompetent, and stupid to ever attract the opposite sex.
...
Chris was banned from a Charlottesville Wal-Mart for loitering around their McDonalds with his attraction sign. For those who are Chris-Chan newfags, Chris often sits around public places with a sign telling everyone he's looking for a "boyfriend free girl".
This is how Chris saw the event.
Chris does not see any action he does in pursuit of his Love Quest as wrong in any way. Those who stand in the way of a boyfriend free girl, and the "china" they possess, is automatically evil.
This is the end of Issue#0. We have so many adventures left to go!
Oh boy, I haven't actually read Sonichu. This is cringeworthy, but also embarrassing, because I made a few comics like these myself. Please post more, I feel like turning my head into my ribcage tonight.
SONICHU #1 is where Sonichu gets an evil clone who is black.
This is the fan fiction portion of Chris's epic Sonichu saga. While it has it's moments, we haven't hit crazy town yet. We've got a ways to go before Chris pours his blood into CWCville's water supply to cure the world of homosexuality.
I can't stop reading Dr. Eggman's in the voice of the late Deem Bristow. It's maddening!
Chris still hopes those games will be made.
This is the first time I've noticed that CWCville is just a mall.
...
So, apparently Sonichu and Sonic never actually met in the previous issue, and Chris simply bulldozes through this important meeting.
Please take note of the Autism ribbon. This is very important as Chris has severe autism. Autism isn't the source of his weirdness, but is part of it.
...
Chris-Chan's humor is strange because he doesn't really understand it.
He's also incredibly sexist.
This also happened. Some girl at the mall jerked him around.
So this is the end of Issue #1. He reinterprets a teenage girl being a dick as a poor victim of peer pressure.
That big "NO!" actually happened. He screamed out "NO!", in public, in the Charlottesville Fashion Square, which got him banned from the establishment for the second time.
>Chris is the Supreme Leader Mayor of CWCVille
More proof that CWCVille is a third world nation.
Are you going to finish?
...
...
It's twelve issues long, covering over 800 pages.
I'm going to be story-timing it for days.
Some guy always has to post the parody of the Christmas comic, and always several issues ahead of the actual comic.
REEEEEEE WHAT IS THIS CONTINUITY?
I hope your waifu appreciates your premature ejactulation user
Post Chris fingering Megan
Chris's followers tend to be more autistic than he is, so it shouldn't be surprising.
Is this an edited version? The Emails look like he's tried to change names but forgot to in the message body.
Chris changed the names of characters based on real life figures after a troll pretending to be Shigeru Miyamoto told him to do it for legal reasons.
It took an official letter from Nintendo of America before Chris realized he was being trolled.
Do you have the originals?
It's SONICHU #2 and Chris thinks he's 1/32 Cherokee, which, in his mind, makes him Native American.
Thank you for the cancer.
Chris gets magical powers and becomes CHRIS-CHAN SONICHU!
Get used to him because he's going to take over the book.
Oh Chris and Axe body spray. He used coat himself in cans of the stuff to avoid taking a shower.
Walter (aka Wes Iseli) is automatically the bad guy because Chris was really jealous of him in real life, and Chris holds onto grudges for a long time.
You don't have to tell me twice … but during the stone age
You … don't have to tell me … twice … but … during the stone age
I think I just hurt my brain.
Chris is talking about real people in his life. Wes dated Sarah Hammer, which made Chris jealous. So in his perfect world of CWCville, not only is Chris the victim in all of this, but Wes is a villain and Sarah finds Chris's feelings of jealousy "sweet". She's also the reincarnation of his ancestor's wife and sides with him against Wes, because Chris is the best.
Also in these pages is the first reference to the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha, a ritual that Chris has performed, in public, that he believes curse's people.
Chris's ego is enormous, to the point of absurdity. For example, Chris believed that Sarah would be willing to break up with her boyfriend at the time for his sake. Then there's some projection going on with Wes going "NO!" when Sarah dumps him, even though that never happened and the only one who ever screamed "NO!" in his life was Chris himself.
It should be noted that while Wes and Sarah broke up in real-life, Wes Iseli is a happily married man who works as a party magician and is completely unaware of Chris's undying hatred for him.
The effects of the curse-ye-hame-ha seem to be reversed.
I've finally noticed that all of the villains from the previous issue, Giovanni, Blachu, Dr. Eggman, Natsirhc, aren't present in this issue. Instead, we get SLAWEEL aka MARY LEE WALSH, the arch-nemesis of Chris-Chan and his Love Quest!
I don't even know where to begin with the humble dean of student affairs of a simple community college made an evil witch. It's possible that Mary Lee Walsh was the only authority figure in Chris's life that actually held him to some standard of human decency. Even her history with Chris is utterly bonkers. All she did was tell Chris to take down his Attraction Sign and Chris managed to escalate it into getting suspended from college for a year.
Chris demonstrates his creepy possessiveness toward people he barely knows.
Chris swoops in beat the shit out of Mary Lee Walsh? What was her crime? Opposing Chris.
The end? Of Sonichu #2? Yes, but of this story-time? Oh hell no. We've got ten more issues of Sonichu left to enjoy!
Sonichu live action movie, when?
After we get a famous manga artist to redraw everything.
>NO
Gets me every time.
Apparently the punchline is that cavemen are stupid
...
They tried remaking it once.
How long did that last?
Not that user, but I think just one issue. Maybe one more, my memory is hazy, but the work was kind of impressive.
30 pages from Issue #0.
gabmonteiro9389.deviantart.com
It's SONICHU #3 and it's time for Chris to introduce more overpowered OCs.
What the fuck is coco soup?
One of them gets raised by a fucking nunnery. A fucking nunnery that Chris breaks into to deposit gifts while Angelica rosechu is sleeping.
Of course, we need Red Sonichu, master of "random-access humor".
Magi-Chan Sonichu was raised in a cave by a creep.
Look, an ad for fucking myspace. Remember myspace?
Oh, hey, it's the other…villains. You know, from Issue #1. They want the legendary Master Emerald SUNSTONE, a stone that, from the description, is probably highly radioactive, as it causes mutations. This stone is guarded by Knuckles FLAME, THE BIRD WHO NEEDS PANTS!
Blachu, being the nigger he is, steals it and that's how all of Chris's shitty rip-offs meet.
Chris does not believe that comics are a visual medium, which is why he just bulldozes through all this crap with page long explanations.
So they kick Blachu's ass. There's not much more to say about it
With that out of the way, we get another retelling of how Chris got banned from Wal-Mart. This time with anime wing hair clips he bought at an anime convention. Considering how Chris ended up, it leaves me with a lot of questions.
The block of text on the first page is almost a thesis statement of Chris's entire world-view. Chris's entire world is defined by attaining a girlfriend. He wants a find a girl he can mold into his perfect "sweetheart". He loathes all other men for stealing all of the pretty girls from him. He doesn't think the fault lies in himself and believes the world is against him.
Then to further illustrate his view, security guards start hassling him purely to prevent him from losing his virginity.
As Chris beats the shit out of guys just doing their job and we endure the worst rendition of a Monty Python sketch ever seen, you might notice we have another new Sonichu: DARKBIND SONICHU.
What he's doing in Wal-Mart, I don't know, and it doesn't really matter because like nearly all of Chris's creations, he's a soulless husk of a character.
Chris genuinely believes the rules and laws that hold our society together do not apply to him. Those agents tasked with upholding them are his enemies and will face his wrath. To impede his love quest in any way invites destruction.
Through all his years of getting banned from establishments and run-ins with the law, he has never swayed from that ardent belief.
However, Chris's victory is short lived as he now has to face THE MANAGER OF WAL-MART.
So ends issue #3. Stick around for the next issue which is all about Chris. Well more about Chris than usual.
In all fairness, i'd totally buy a Wall-Mart manager being a head in a jar attached to a robot body.
If only this was a live motion comic. Then I could truly appreciate the raw power of Sonichu!
i-is Chris-Chan the true Queen of Holla Forums?
With how Wal-Mart treats it's employees, you'd think every manager was a head in a jar and everyone working there was one of those Stormtrooper clones.
...
I should point out that this is because several girls pulled the "I already have a boyfriend" line to get rid of the smelly manchild with the rapist stare, and he took it mathematically, often stating IRL whenever he has to talk to a male, "I do not talk to men, as they have taken all the pretty girls leaving me with none.".
Hence the term "boyfriend-free girl".
I should also clarify that despite all the electric hedgehog pokemon being created along with Sonichu by the Sonic fight's chaos rainbow in the first issue, all of them have back stories going back years. This is explained by the eggs being thrown through time.
Possibly. Like prison, we're all stuck in here with no women, so we might have to settle for a trannie.
I always thought that Chris was funniest when left to his own devices. Stories of him acting ridiculous in public related via comic book are much more funny than any amount of trolling him into breaking thing, etc.. I find it funny how some people view fucking with Chris as some kind of moral crusade rather than just laughing at a retard.
Fans call that "A-Logging", after the most vocal troll, who ironically does almost everything Chris does himself, and is probably autistic too.
SONICHU #4 is where Chris drops all pretext that this comic is about anything other than himself, as this entire comic consists of "sub-episodes".
Continuing from the last issue, Chris is locked in mortal combat with the manager of Wal-Mart. Just when it looks like our hero is going to lose this battle for love, his Cherokian ancestor speaks to him. He gives Chris the power to summon his dream sibling, CRYSTAL WESTON CHANDLER!
Chris gets out of the growing, which funny because he's fat and getting fatter.
Chris has always dreamed of having a sibling to play with, and Crystal is his 'perfect twin sister'. There's also some subtext of gender identity problems and, of course, Chris stroking his ego by believing he'd be an attractive woman.
So now we've got two … fuck, everyone Chris's "friends" are OP as hell.
Chris goes on for half a page expelling his anger and frustration toward people who are just doing their jobs, something which Chris cannot fathom. I don't think I can emphasize enough that Chris doesn't recognize any authority outside of himself.
"Sub-Episode 6" is all about how he fucking hates security guards in the form of a nature documentary.
And by nature documentary, I mean WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS.
I take issue with the portrayal of anyone being attracted to a female version of Chris.
Chris, literally, has the powers of all his creations, going so far as to use his mind powers to throw a security guard like a bowling ball, ala Magi-Chan. Also, Chris thinks Security Guards are literally retarded, as in they're hyponotized retarded people. Retards and other "slow in the minds" are people Chris hates and fear, going out of his way not to be associated with them.
ScotPalazzo was named after the manager of the Charllottesville Fashion Square. You know, the mall Chris got banned from.
Speaking of banning, that leads us to Chris getting banned from Target for abusing their free-refills for hours as he loitered around the store.
HA HA! I FOUND A SOURCE THAT HAD THE UNEDITED SONICHU COMICS! THE GIANT STRAW IS WITH US!
The ultimate "JerkCop" is named Bagget, and it might surprise you to know that Bagget is the name of a real person from Chris's life! Bagget was the name of the officer that arrested him during the whole "getting banned from Target".
Chris fights a transformer and loses. Just look at the fucking scale there. Either Chris is a giant or all Jerkcops are very, very small.
So Chris gets captured and hauled off to PVCC, short for, Piedmont Valley Community College PRIVATE VILLA FOR CORRUPT CITIZENS! It's up to Crystal to save her brother!
I have to say, the originals have a quality that the re-edits lack.
Chris is rescued and annihilates the evil forces keeping him captive.
OR DID HE?!
Fuck, why didn't we pick that car for the Holla Forums races. Holla Forums would've been so pissed.
It turns out the evil Mary Lee Walsh and the mysterious COUNT GRADUON have escaped Chris's wrath! What dark deeds are they planning to keep Chris's virginity intact? And who exactly is COUNT GRADUON?
Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
Chris also got kicked out of the mall for misinterpreting the Japanese Red String of Fate legend, and literally fishing for a girlfriend with red string.
Apparently some big, black motherfucker just walked right up, ripped the heart off the red string and stomped away, and that was the end of Chris' woman fishing-rod.
That big, black motherfucker was a Jerkop.
No wonder Chris hates these guys. They're always sabotaging his sure fire plans to find love.
The originals are better because CWC didn't go back and redraw funny stuff like the giant straw to be less funny.
Chris didn't originally intend for Mary Lee Walsh to have blonde hair. She's supposed to be wearing a yellow helmet. This is impossible to tell from his shitty art style.
The concept of "girlfriend from the ground up" also reveals a lot about CWC's view of other people.
Does this mean we're going to get the unedited Megan upskirt? hot stuff.
Man, following this insanity live during its heyday was so sweet, first on the ED talk page then on its own forum. The period some guy started to pretend he was the TRUE and HONEST Chris was amazing, as well as the time he thought Miyamoto wanted to make a Sonichu game. After he went full tranny he stopped being fun and just became an average SJW though.
His dad was actually a really skilled engineer with a few patents to his name. I think his older brother is a successful attorney, too. How CWC came from the same bloodline as those other two, I don't know.
It stopped being fun after Bob died. Following his death, Chris basically became Barb's full-time care taker, taking time away from him being an idiot on the internet and making "art". I also feel that easy access to social media has made him even more lazy, as it removes any impetuous for him to make comics.
However, I believe once Barb dies, we're going to get a new Golden Age out of Chris. Chris has shown that despite wasting money on stupid shit, he's actually quite good at budgeting out things like "rent". Also, even though he's currently a slave to Snorrlax, he's had some of his most entertaining antics since he was discovered. Such has burning down his own house and macing a Gamestop employee.
So I'd say Chris is still fun and his life is so insane that you're always discovering something new, but it's now best in small doses.
Yesterday's shenanigans kept me from posting more of our beloved Sonichu, so I'm going to have to pull double duty today!
SONICHU #5 and Sarah Hammer's getting married! However, since Chris doesn't know what her fiancee looks like, he chooses to depict him as a Yugiohcard. Also, Chris apparently can only attend the ceremony in spirit, probably due to the gallons of Axe he douses himself in.
As the wedding begins, Chris clues us in that he has finally found a sweet-heart! Who is this solider of love who will make Chris's dreams come true? It's Megan Schroeder.
PS: I'm ashamed to say that I forgot to point out a key figure in the Sonichu canon, a character of monumental importance. I'm speaking of the legendary Boulder Dropping Whale
I'm sensing a certain level of projection on Chris's part when it comes to Wes Iseli's actions. Wes acts out Chris's feelings of jealousy, yet acts as a villain so that Chris can feign nobility.
Please note that not only has Chris created his own Yugioh cards, but tried to use them in local tournaments.
I should mention I never played Yugioh and barely watched the series as a kid, so I have no fucking reference for any of these attempts at humor.
Oh Chris. How you'll utterly destroy whatever friendship you had with this young woman.
And with Megan comes a heavy injection of anime. Chris catches the bouquet meaning he'll be the next lucky girl to get married!
The Private Villa of Corrupt Citizens has declared war on love! They've mounted a massive invasion of CWCville!
However, Chris doesn't know about that until they're already at his doorstep. He is far too obsessed with Megan.
The CHAOTIC COMBO is summoned to defend CWCville from Mary Lee Walsh's attack!
Really, there's not much to say about it.
The poor girl. This photo defines Chris's relationship with her.
Among Mary Lee Walsh's forces is the evil CADD Chef! CADD Chef is based on Chris's professor of computer aided drafting and design at Piedmont Virginia Community College. Apparently Chris didn't like him because he held him to standards and also didn't like him because he was black.
Chris does not like them "niggos".
I've always read it as Sailor MEGAtune, and only now do I realize it reads "Megtune". Megtune as in Neptune, as in Sailor Neptune. You know, Sailor Neptune, the Sailor Moon character that's gay? So it looks like Chris dooms himself not only in real-life but in his fantasy as well.
Mary Lee Walsh attempts to seal Chris in the darkness, which causes a chain reaction with his old enemy Natsirc! Transforming him into something truly horrible….
However, through that old witch's cruelty, Chris is freed, but his sister is sealed in the darkness instead! Now Chris gets to suffer further with no consideration for how Crystal feels in all of this.
Megan's legs look like they're fingers.
It seems evil has won! Crystal is sealed in the darkness! Mary Lee Walsh has an army of Jerkcops invading CWCville! Will Chris be able to fend off these forces of authority and responsibility?
Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
It is a shame that Chris won't get to be the next bride.
I'm just here waiting for issue 10.
...
...
SONICHU #6 is a break from the action, and is actually rather sweet. Instead of continuing the story of the invasion of CWCville, Chris mourns the death of his childhood dog, Patti
Cole Smithy isn't a lawyer and you overestimate Bob Chandler's brilliance.
Did anyone ever actually try to dig up Patti?
Patti gets a tour of Chris's filthy ass room on her way to an eternity in Chris's totalitarian dictatorship, with free food and stuff.
Chris introduces his mother/secretary, Ms. Amber. She used to be a big Hollywood actress until she followed her dream of becoming the slave of a manchild in an imaginary city whose governing offices are in a mall. Chris also notes he'd be plowing her over his desk like a post-apocalyptic mutant trying to repopulate the human race if it weren't for the fact she has a boyfriend.
This is a nice little moment of humanity from Chris, and I feel for him. However, that feeling doesn't last as I remember he used to invoke the spirit of his dead-dog to attack his enemies.
No, they didn't.
Back to the invasion of CWCville, it's promptly settled because we need to talk about the SONICHU BALLS.
Also, is there some sorcery going on there because I think Sonichu can see the future.
MY TWO BALLS!
A mysterious green, jockstrap wearing, sonichu steals a Sonichu Ball from a Key Jewellers downstairs! He's too powerful for the Choatic Combo to over-come!
Who is this evil green sonichu?!
IT'S HIS ARCH-NEMESIS NAITSIRHC, transformed by the dark energies into RELDNAHC! Pure evil and homosexual!
Also I think he might've raped Blachu
So it's Chris vs gay Chris. Well, gay-er Chris.
Christ page 40 is a hot mess.
Anyway, Chris is saved by Orange Sonic.
With Sonichu Ball in hand, Chris embarks on …. talking about his high school shit for two solid pages.
Ten weeks after the battle, Reldnahc awakens from his coma. What evil plans lie behind those eyes burning with vengeance?!
Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
Fuck, yes. Chris-Chan may not be the Messiah we need but he's the Messiah we deserve.
You sure about that, user?
God damn it.
???
Chris is a lot like Frankenstein: His creations eventually destroy him.
SONICHU #7 is where Chris begins to reveal himself. Half-way through this issue, Chris discovers the Encyclopedia Dramatica page on him, he fucks up his friendship with Megan, and the trolls start becoming major figures in his life.
However, before the storm must come the calm, and we open with Chris's delusions over Megan as he watches orange Sonic play basketball.
So Chris has got to go back in time to find the other Sonichu ball. Great, because all this shit with Megan is off-putting as fuck.
Also, Chris pitches a Family Guy skit to Seth McFarland with a reference to the incredibly obscure funimation Ghostbusters cartoon.
The fact I understand this reference makes me cringe. I'm not comfortable having that level of connection to Chris.
Also, "Peter" Chris looks more like Chris than Chris does.
Magi-Chan puts them all in some kind of "time hamster ball" that Sonichu runs in and that allows them to get back to the past.
Who the fuck is that bitch on page 17?
Ah, Chris's halcyon days at high school. Back when people had to talk to him, when he could make "friends" easily, and when he was allowed to do whatever he wanted because of his autism.
However, returning to those days doesn't stop from being an ass. Particularly playing himself up as cooler than he actually was and portraying "Joe" as an ugly monster face.
Apparently there's a fucking gang-bang going on in that class-room. Also, Bevis and Butthead.
Chris at this time was getting a lot of complaints that he was taking up the entire comic bitching about his problems instead of telling stories about Sonichu. In response, Chris wrote himself getting hurled out of the time hamsterball and trapped in the time vortex. This also serves the purpose of bringing the comic "up-to-date" with the happenings in Chris's life, namely the trolls and Megan finding out he wanted to rape her.
I like that the Sonichus are all like "Well, fuck, we lost him" and then go about fucking each other.
So, yeah, all the bad guys found out about Chris falling into the time void and are probably going to fuck some shit up. Or not. Really, at this point all of these villains except Jason just fall out of the book.
Meanwhile, Chris is now made aware of the all the shit that's been going on in his life.
Anyway, we get away from that shit real fast to introduce Chris's kitchen sink radio station and his new potential sweet-heart, Blanca. There's also a sexual harassment problem at KCWC, as Jamsta Sonichu cannot stop staring at tits.
Robert Simmons V was an anti-troll that befriended Chris and pretended to a fan of his comic. After visiting Chris in real life, Robert has dropped completely out of the Chris-Chan saga. Nobody has heard anything from him since 2009.
Will Chris get out of the Time Void? Will the PVCC invade CWCville again? Will the Sonichu's please stop fucking each other because it's technically incest? Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
If he only knew how true that was
The Time Void already? Fuck
Post Rosechu masturbatin' and squirtin'
I'm sure that's a thing that really happened.
He actually did. It just means washing towels and stuff. He wasn't the coach.
Actually I'm friends with him on Skype. We haven't talked in like two years but he's a really nice guy. Thirsty af though. All he ever talks about is his love quest.
sonichu.com
Christine got a standing ovation. He got hugs off everyone. He looks so happy here. Has the rest of the world caught up with him?
...
Is this the furthest Chris has gone with a woman consensually without money involved? Is this the furthest he'll achieve?
This is actually no worse, or different, than most anime for young people. In fact it's indistinguishable.
As I recall, that issue is from the time Megan was making Chris watch shit like Sailor Moon and so, and it reflected on his art and plot.
No, Megan was just starting to be a thing when Issue #02 came out.
Also, Megan didn't make Chris do anything except buy her shit on ebay. He's the one that started watching animu because he wanted to get closer to her.
Holy fuck, we're on SONICHU #8. Hey, remember that Chris got stuck in the time vortex? Well the Sonichu's don't care. They've got to get busy fucking each other in what basically amounts to incest seeing as they have the same father.
So get on your hazmat suits and reject all forms of "recycling". We're about to get elbow deep in Rosechu pussy.
Did you want to know about Sonichu genitals?
Well too bad, it's in my head and now it's in yours.
...
With Chris out of the way, Sonichu and Rosechu give into wanton hedonism. They fuck for days.
Briefly, the fucking stops to introduce 4-CENT GARBAGE and the non-stop depicting Rosechu with a dick. The logic and priorities going on here are just fucking bizarre.
So how do you combat trolls drawing you as a dickgirl? Upload naked pictures of yourself on the internet.
Sonichu and Rosechu travel to the 4-Cent Garbage building to get them to stop posting that shit. There's some stuff about a Sonichu ball being inside, but really. They're there for the dickgirl pics.
Genesis 50:15-21
Now's a good time to mention that Chris has been kicked out of churches before.
As Sonichu and Rosechu travel up the 4-Cent Garbage building, we get a peek behind the scenes of how memes are made. It's process so heinous that Chris is able to momentarily will himself out of the time void to punch an user in the face. We also get treated to some very old memes. Remember Pedobear?
However, Chris quickly gets to what got his attention: the copious amounts of porn.
Chris really hates the X-Box for some reason. He's been banned from stores for writing "HEX" on X-Box ads in stores.
I remember some of these memes.
Jason Kendrick Howell was the original creator of the Sonichu ED page, and so of course, that makes him the head of all of the trolls everywhere.
Sonichu asks Jason to remove the ED page on Chris because it's not a disgrace to Chris, but a disgrace to the great country of the United States of America and the noble men that struggled to bring it into being. Deleting all of Chris's information off of the internet is the patriotic thing to do. GOD BLESS AMERICA!
However, failing to appeal to Jason's sense of national pride, Sonichu decides just to fucking attack the guy. Thankfully, this assault is met with a prompt ass-whopping. Rosechu decides to the first adult thing in Chris's life and walks away from this fight, but not for long…
Also we get a detailed diagram of what the hell is going on with Sonichu back spikes, because Chris needed to explain it to us.
Rosechu gets a pickle to the head and we now get more gratuitous Rosechu nudity
Why Chris? Why?
I always thought that was weird since 4-cent is such an obvious stand in for 4Chan, I guess even Chris realized that m00t was too much of a stupid villain.
Kendrick
Face full of Rosechu cooch. Nice.
Rosechu decides to fight for women's rights with a group nude photo-shoot involving an underage child.
Also, we have the introduction of Simonla Sonichu, the character that will cause so much shit.
I'm going to believe Chris did that because he was stupid.
This issue is so long, that I'm going to have to break it into parts. I'll storytime the second half later. Right now I've got to get all those poorly drawn beef curtains out of my mind.
Considering Chris's a manchild who hasn't matured since 12 I'll guess he just rounds up 14yo at the same maturity level than adults, that is to say, more than his.
I think it's funny how he puts in the image he used to trace the Rosechu porn on page 5-B.
I feel you
Feels like a decade.
It was
You know, I kinda understand the way Chris thinks when it comes to CWCville, puns like jerkops, manajerks etc. But how the hell did he come up with this?
Your girlfriend never flipped out, tore her clothes off, mounted a guy's face, then scalped him with her fingernails?
…You know, meth is a hell of a drug.
Time to continue where I left off.
We start off emphasizing that Rosechu and Sonichu are of legal age, even thought they're really around 3 years old. It doesn't even begin to address that they're technically siblings.
Chris might be in the time void, but that hasn't stopped him from strangling his characters with red string, starting with shoving Blachu with Bubbles Rosechu.
WOOOOO! It's Spring-Break in CWCville! Now that their despotic leader Chris-Chan is trapped in the time void, we got titties flopping everywhere and college dudes downing non-alcoholic CWC-cola because CWCville is a dry town!
Blachu kicks sand in everyone's face like he's out of a Charles Atlas ad.
We are introduced to a new, evil Sonichu, SILVANIA ROSECHU! She was raised by Count Graduon on the moon and has a penis!
She was trained in dark magic, learning how to shift her shape and….
FUCK YER YAWNING SQUIRTLE!
I should really story-time Moon Pals some time.
Blachu learns all there is to learn about the crying game.
Silvania replaces Blachu to teach Bubbles about the crying game too. I also have to marvel at Chris's writing, reducing romance to pure animal urges.
Poor Magi-Chan. He keeps trying to warn people about shit and they all tell him to fuck off.
Silvania retreats from Bubbles attack, letting us all know before she leaves that she's got a dick. We're then treated to an absolutely butchered Hatsune Miku song.
On the last page of Sonichu #8, Chris thanks god that he killed at least one potential sweet-heart so that he wouldn't have to choose.
Now that the party is over, will Chris return? Will PVCC attack CWCville? Will the Sonichus finally get the rest of the Sonichu Balls? Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
A NEW LIFE… FOR ME TO CORRUPT!
My God, is this the end of Chris-Chan?
She's a bit of a harpy and I can totally see her do that, but no.
Why is there a Swedish flag on the first page?
what a hilarious freudian slip
It's funny because Chris's art gets slightly better for the porn scenes and then returns to shit.
Idk why but it almost looks like it's another artstyle, it would be funny if chris had put someone up to this
Nevermind, I'm fucking dumb. Looking back, It's obviously a trace/drawn from reference.
I just wonder which pr0ns christ decided to copy this from
sonichu.com
CWCpedia knows EVERYTHING.
What the fuck are you talking about?
A Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of an unconscious subdued wish or internal train of thought. The concept is part of classical psychoanalysis.
Ugh, Sweden no!
YOU GONNA GET RAPED
Was Penders just Chris with a C-grade creative writing certificate?
I have to be honest, Sonichus adventures and Tails gets Trolled are far more entertaining than Korra or any of the grinning potatos on CN right now will ever be
for just such a occasion
I meant how is him making drawing a "Log" reference and making it brown like wood a Freudian slip?
He made it a knot-hole. Like an anus. Like he's thinking of butt-sex. Because he's a closeted gay man who likes butt stuff and crossdressing and now thinks he's a lesbian.
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
GIVE ME BACK MY TRENDIES!!!!
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I'd like to point out that the Spazkid Sonichu animations were overrated garbage.
Wonder if that guy on Deviantart takes Patreonbux to continue his remake?
Mind you, he insists on keeping the spelling errors and more retarded (this is very relatively speaking) intact. Given a tighten-up, and removing a lot of the Chris stuff, could make it into a semi-entertaining fanfic. Give Robotnik a bigger villainous role, too.
But you're the one that thought of it when you saw that.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAnd I'm back. With SONICHU #9.
Are we going to resolve all the shit that's been going on in CWCville? Maybe later. We've got dating education class to get to. Professor Chris-Chan is going to teach us all about the basics of romance, which consists of messaging people online and then meeting up after school to bone.
As you can see, mating is incredibly important in CWCVille society. I presume from observation that CWCville citizens that aren't paired off are either driven out of the colony or are cannibalized by their parents to regain the precious nutrients needed for the next estrus cycle. This aspect is so great that partnerships have to be arranged by appointed CWCville overseers under the guise of a "Dating Education Class" to ensure good overall colony health and genetic diversity.
Chris introduces us to Ivy, his latest sweet-heart. Her mere presence in the Sonichu comic causes Chris, trapped in the time void, to immediately fall in love. Ivy will cause something to stir in Chris like no other sweet-heart before her. Namely, stir Chris's utter insanity to depths never before realized.
The Robert and Barbara dolls kill me every time. Also,
Chris saw his pairing with Ivy to be, quite literally, ordained by God and his only son Jesus Christ. God also promises Chris that he will restore his internal clock, which references Chris's fucked up circadian rhythm. Chris's sleep schedule is from 6AM to noon, and he believes that once he finds a sweet-heart, his sleep patters will be brought back to normal.
As everyone is assigned a mating partner, we get an insight to CWCville's economy. They run completely on CWCville scrip, ensuring that the police can never leave CWCville for any reason. The citizens are basically slaves, existing solely to entertain, serve, and create more slaves for the great leader. Their lives are so tightly control that even financial freedom eludes them.
A deformed monster had his heart set on the lamb looking creature, only to have his heart dashed when she was given to Red Sonichu. Quasimodo will not abide by this! He will make Red Sonichu pay for taking his love!
Back in the classroom, the students are taught CWCville's approved courtship method: anonymously chatting with each other online. Actual face to face conversations are frowned upon and may result in banishment to the moon.
All contact with potential mates must be done by proxy, as seen with Red Sonichu summoning Wild Sonichu to give the lamb creature his answer. Only once sufficient non-personal contact has been established are they allowed to finally mate.
Wild demonstrates the non-personal courtship of CWCville by falling in love with Simonla Rosechu not long after meeting, and soon they're building a nest to rear their future offspring. Though Red Sonichu was thwarted by competition, he maintained the strict rules of CWCville and netted his own sweet-heart to mate with and successfully pass on his genes to the next generation.
Angelica Rosechu comes into heat later than the rest of the Roschus, leaving her no option but to accept the deformed one as her mate if she is to bear cubs this season.
The only one without a mate is Ivy, who is prophesied to be the mate of the greater leader Chris-Chan. It is this status that protects her from punishment by the colony.
As the next day arrives, we tragically find out that the previous designated breeding overseer has been killed in a car accident. None mourn the loss of Ms Jackaras, as CWCvillian citizens know that her death was a blessing to their great leader. Had she continued to live, she might've cause Chris great stress, have to choose between her and the others who wish to mate with him.
This event does not intrupt the "Dating Education Class". We are given an exam, penned by the great leader himself to ensure that those who do not understand what is ideologically correct within CWCville are quickly identified and removed.
In the ad, Chris dedicates an entire page to the memory of infomercial legend Billy Mayes. Chris's honoring of the life of a man that touched so many is to reiterate that Billy Mayes was never the mayor of CWCville and praise himself for being a true American patriot.
Back to the comic, after a long night of boning, the Sonichu's wake up to all the evil Sonichu's invading CWCville.
...
Did angelica fucked in a church?
However, before the invasion is delt with, Sonichu and Rosechu want to make absolutely sure everyone understands something very important.
CHRIS-CHAN AND SONICHU ARE COMPLETELY STRAIGHT! THEY WILL NOT TAKE BEING MISLABELED AS GAY SITTING DOWN!
The parade Sonichu is referring to is an image where someone shopped the old Macy's Sonic balloon into Sonichu and told Chris that it was seen flying in a gay pride parade.
If you consider knifing your groan to let out a vagina you believed was growing inside you to be "painful", then Chris is truely a man of his word.
At long last, The Private Villa of Corrupt Citizens has taken advantage of Chris's absence to invade CWCville. It only took them several issues to get around to it.
If Sonic the Hedgehog, Sailor Moon, and Yugioh weren't enough for you, we've now got Transformers thrown in this mess.
Even the fucking freak-show gets in on the act.
I want everyone to realize that Chris isn't talking about security guards or mall cops, though they have their place in the JerKop army. He's talking about the police, as in actual law enforcement officers. So if you didn't believe me before that Chris has absolutely no respect for any kind of authority, well now you've got further evidence of that.
I really should look into if there was any particular reason he included Transformers in this particular fight.
...
No, that was , I'm just explaining it for the slow-in-the-mind.
Silvania "12 inch dick" Rosechu reappears and gets into a fucking page long discussion with Magi-Chan. Meanwhile, Mary Lee Walsh calls Wes Iseli to get an update on the whole invasion thing.
However, guess who's fucking back? Chris's car SON-CHU! I'm totally for that one user's idea that we should have it as our car in the Holla Forums Wacky Races.
And of course, Son-Chu is a fucking Transformer too.
Welp, PandaHalo's dead. Chris never received word of PandaHalo's death. All he knew was that PandaHalo lived in Australia, and there was a bush-fire going on at the time, so he just assumed that PandaHalo died in the bush-fire, freeing him up to pursue Ivy.
So we get a couple new Sonichu's that I don't think we're ever going to see again.
Sonichu runs into Liquid Chris Sonichu! He will make that faker pay for impersonating Christian Weston Chandler! The Liquid Chris saga is fucking nuts.
Sonichu kicks his ass quick and Rosechu is kidnapped and nobody cares.
...
Oh no, now Ivy is dead too. Strangled to death by elevator cables.
Then they fight Mary Lee Walsh at the mall.
Aaaaand Chris is finally back to cruelly rule his totalitarian kingdom, and there's some murdering to do.
SONICHU #9 finally ends with the answers to the exam from . Check your answers and feel ashamed for yourself if got any wrong.
So, now that Chris is back, what awaits us? What does he have planned? Who will wish they were never born? Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
Since Ivy is dead, I'd better share the SONICHU SPECIALS that involve her.
In the first, Chris creates a confusing narrative where he saves Ivy from the evil Clyde Cash.
...
The end of SONICHU SPECIAL #1, and it doesn't get any better from here.
SONICHU SPECIAL #2 is Chris proposing to and marrying Ivy.
The whole thing is a fucking fever dream.
Chris believes Ivy's dad looks like Coach McGuirk and would wear a trashy dress like that on her wedding day.
Sonichu Special #2 ends with them riding off into the sunset pulled by my little pony figures.
SONICHU SPECIAL #3 and it's time for Chris to tell us all how he'd lose his virginity with his sweet-heart Ivy.
It's as disgusting as you would imagine. And yes, he did trace his penis for page 5.
Ever fuck so hard that you both turn into electric hedgehog pokemon? Chris wants to experience that.
The last page of SONICHU SPECIAL #3 is possibly the trashiest thing I can imagine.
SONICHU SPECIAL #4 is the last Sonichu special, and it features Chris getting his revenge on Liquid Chris by shooting out his knee-caps.
Then he takes his girl Kacey, which, if you've ever read the transcript of Chris talking to Kacey's dad, is fucking cringe inducing.
Sonichu Specil #4 ends with a display of sheer arrogance on the part of Chris, and it's all down hill from here.
People really should listen to it, its a wild ride.
I still feel bad for the real Megan. No human being deserves to suffer the shame of being badly drawn in a cringy porn comic.
Jesus Christ. I had forgotten about that line.
On the one hand, Chris is a real dummy with no understanding of boundaries or socially acceptable behaviour and it must have been a miserable, awkward experience to be around him.
But then again, Megan definitely led him on and used him to buy shit for her. It's a typical thing for pretty girls around her age to do, and she might have even realized she was doing it at the time, but she definitely sent Chris mixed signals either out of pitying to get shit from him.
This call is a beautiful shitshow of a production. It's like Curb Your Enthusiasm mixed with Days of Our Lives. So fucking uncomfortable and embarrassing for everyone involved. It only gets worse when you realize there were about 20 other calls Chris had with Kacey, all of which had the same tone.
I can't say that she was. Reading the email correspondence between them is incredibly uncomfortable. (2:25 in)
It's coming ….
Every dog has it's day, and in SONICHU #10, Chris's gonna make em' all pay.
This issue of grim retrebution begins with recapping the previous issues events. Chris is freed from the time void, ready to go on a rip-roaring rampage of revenge on all of his enemies, including some that were never brought up at all in the previous issues.
The first part of his plan involves curing the world of homosexuality. Scientists took Chris's pure, straight blood, and synthesized a vaccine to prevent, and even reverse, gayness. Chris was the first recipient of this vaccine, insuring that he will never, ever become gay. However, due to time needed to create the wonder drug, Chris sends Magi-Chan to the far future of June, 2015, to steal the vaccine stores from that year and bring them back to the present day.
I guess this is prelude to issue 10.
He sends out his Sonichu's to enact his plan, while Chris himself rushes over to his tripod site to collect all of the stuff trolls haven't ruined yet.
Chris fends off the trolls and is able to save his precious junk. Tripod suffers the ultimate fate for failing to protect his content and Chris crushes them into rubble.
With that part complete, Chris rushes across down, sets up a new, protected website, and arranges a date with a new sweet-heart for later. His preparations are then complete. Time for him to demolish the 4-cent garbage building and kill all those inside.
Entering the 4 cent garbage building, Chris is trapped and his SONICHU MEDALLION is stolen!
The fools! They didn't know his true power was stored in his AMMYFIST RING!
NOTHING CAN STOP CHRIS ON HIS QUEST OF VENGEANCE!
Not even the late British soccer presenter Jimmy Hill is free from Chris's wrath! Trolls convinced Chris that Jimmy Hill was claiming that he was the creator of Sonichu, complete with images of all the merchandise he was selling. I give credit to the trolls behind that one as they went the extra mile to make it seem convincing.
Apparently I was wrong before. Chris wasn't actually in the 4-cent garbage building. The whole devil attack/medallion stealing happened on the street. Figuring that out helps me wrap my head around Reldnahc suddenly showing up to fight Chris.
IT'S CHRIS VS GAY(er) CHRIS! THE FINAL CONFLICT BETWEEN STRAIGHTNESS AND DEPRAVED HOMOSEXUALITY!
LET THIS BE THEIR FINAL BATTLE!
DRINK MY BLOOD!
And with that, Reldnach is injected with Chris's pure, straight blood, curing him of the dark curse of faggotry. At long last, Reldnach becomes Naitsirch once again, and Chris honors his fallen foe by teleporting him to the hospital, to the care of that one pokemon trainer we saw way back in Issue#0.
Now, the time has come to bring down the garbage! Sonichu puts on a Parapa the rappa hat and becomes even more of a two-dimensional character than he already was. Chris grabs a Rock Band guitar and becomes real Chris. The instruments are hooked up to his Transformers friends! It's time to bring that building down with the power of ROCK!
Chris and his crew play "BRING BACK ZORDON", played to the tune of Ted Nugent's ''Cat Scratch Fever". So intense is their rock that the 4-cent garbage building begins to crumple!
As the structure falls down around them, Jason abandons the trolls Clyde Cash and Jack Thaddus to die, stating that he's going to stop trolling Chris because he too is straight, unlike those fags Clyde and Jack. Even Beel leaves them to parish in the flames, considering his short time working with them to be worse than serving Hitler due to their homosexuality.
But Clyde and Jack won't allow themselves to be killed at Chris's hands. They form their love suicide pact that very moment and choose to die together by leaping down the elevator shaft, a final act of defiance against the totalitarian Chris-Chan and his followers.
With one last power cord, the entire building collapses, killing 1,500 people. Such is the penalty for those that cross the great leader.
Sometime later, Magi-Chan reports to Chris that all has been done per his instructions. The vaccine has been administered to CWCville, with the remaining stock being dispensed into the world's water supply. Homosexuality and asexuality will be eradicated from the world. Cameras have been installed in all homes and public areas in CWCville to insure no further homosexuality can occur without Chris's knowledge. The creation of a gay free surveillance state is complete.
It is declared a new Valentine's Day, and Chris chooses to spend this day macking on Meg from Family Guy.
Whoops, turns out Chris was making out with a tranny. There goes that "homosexuality vaccine".
Chris apologizes to us for scandalously featuring homosexuals in the previous pages. Then, with all seven Sonichu balls in hand, Chris and Soncihu gain the power to fix, forever, all of the problems of the Sonichu universe!
Infused with God-mode Mary Sue powers, Chris and Sonichu split up to make right that which is wrong!
With his amazing strength, Chris (who has a passing resemblance to Big the Cat) bursts into his office and frees his sister from the dark void! Sonichu, meanwhile, flies to RuleCWC to release their princess from the stone shell she was sealed in!
With those problems solved, Chris travels to Minnesota, to the home of Alec Benson Leary, creator of Asperchu. Asperchu was a parody of Chris's Sonichu, including it's own Asperpedia. The mere fact it was similar to Chris's creation, and his belief that Asperchu stole fans from his comic, earned it Chris's wrath. Also, he was angry with Alec Benson Leary for reasons I'll disclose later.
Having broken into Alec's home, Chris transports himself into Alec's computer. Once there, he begins deleting everything related to Asperchu, including all of Alec's accounts, and steals some of his software before frying the entire hard-drive.
Oh, but that isn't nearly enough. Chris is not yet through with Asperchu.
Outside, Sonichu encounters Asperchu and the parodies of Chris's other creations, who greet his coming like that of a heaven sent savior.
They quickly beg forgiveness for all of the evil that Alec made them do, and bemoan their twisted and deformed existence. Taking their plight to heart, Sonichu takes pity on them and transforms them, removing their souls and making them true Sonichu's. Bland, uninteresting, and ultimately forgettable.
Their prayers have been answered by the one true Christian, and Asperchu, the lowliest and most deformed of them all, is transformed into Mitch Sonichu! Now able to comprehend things the Chris-Chan way, he promises to Sonichu to stop putting gay ads on the CWCpedia.
Chris and Sonichu defeat a giant robot, and Chris goes on a page long speal about how people shouldn't confuse Sonichu characters from Asperchu characters.
Meanwhile, at the CWCville Mayor's office, the Sonichu's are disgusted over claims that Asperchu has "better art", throwing around terms like "blasphemous" to describe it. In CWCville, Chris is both state and God.
The next few pages are confusing, involving soup hotels and homeless black guys. However, what I can interpret is that Chris is going to end Mary Lee Walsh's villainy ONCE AND FOR ALL!
A challenger appears
And with that, Mary Lee Walsh and Count Graduon are defeated, ending the threat of the PVCC.
Back at the CWCVille Mall, Chris addresses his people. He has a few announcements to make concerning the events of the past few days? hours?
After assuring his people that yes, his reign as "mayor" is for life, he begins to talk about Asperchu.
The background to all of this is a conflict Chris got into with Evan George, the creator of Simonchu, which Chris ripped off as Simonla Rosechu. Then Chris lied that Evan allowed the change into Simonla, leading to Evan demanding that Chris remove Simonla from the comic. Chris refused and the system operator of Chris's site, the CWCipedia, closed it to edits, forcing Chris to relent to Evan's demands.
However, despite giving into the demands to kill Simonla, Chris would make them pay for daring to presume any authority over him. This feeling would extend to not just Even, but to Alec Benson Leary, the CWCipedia sysop Mao, and Sean August Watley, creator of Moon Pals. The way Chris will deal with them will be far, far worse than the fate of any troll in his comic.
As Chris gives lip service to the apologies Alec and others wanted, a voltorb blows Simonla up and she dies.
As Wild Sonichu begins his life as a single father, the show-trail for the Asperpedia Four begins. While the court says their crime was murder, the inserts of Chris's "apology" reveals their true crime. They forced him to submit to an outside authority and held him to standards. They hurt his massive ego, so they shall pay.
To be TRUE AND HONEST, any idiot could they were being used by the way Megan was treating Chris, and I'm pretty sure Chris himself was seeing it too, but obviously he's an idiot and was blinded by the fact that there was a slim chance that he could've gotten laid through her of course the only way that'd happened would've been if he'd raped her.
I don't believe Megan outright sent him mixed signals, and she kinda made it clear that she didn't give a fuck about him romantically speaking. I find her attitude early on when she wrote to him was informal and friendly, which is normal for a female friend. Chris was a fucking creep in them though, and I find it surprising she didn't see the warning signs.
Also
6/10 at best. I'd stick it in her pooper though.
For Alec Benson Leary, the electric chair. Chris and nearly every Sonichu participates by pressing a button to cause his death. His death is not the quick form of electrocution, but a long, suffering one. His body is charred beyond all recognition, all that is left of the man that created Asperchu.
For Evan George, creator of Simonchu, is the most cruel and unusual sentence. Death at the hands of a child. Spinning drills gore into his flesh, rending meat and bone from his body. A horrific sight of torture and horror before he's finally finished off.
For Sean Watley, he is used as a human target, hung from the ceiling as Allison, Bill, and Kel leisurely riddled him with bullets. The execution was so egregious that it required gallons of cleaning fluid just to get the blood off the floor.
For Mao, he gets the "psychic treatment". Using his mental powers, Chris personally breaks every limb of the man who kept his site running and dared to defy his wishes.
"Amends have been made" Chris says, asserting once again that he is the one true god of CWCville.
Sonichu #10 ends with Chris declaring his birthday as a new holiday 'CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY! A holiday we celebrate every year. However, in addition to that, we are also served a strong warning that Chris will work on his comics and his art when he damn well feels like it.
So, now with his enemies dead and CWCville's problems solved, what adventures now await Chris and Sonichu? Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
That "homless black guy" is supposed to be Soni-Chew.
sonichu.com
It only gets worse when you realize there's an entirely separate C quarter to complete the acryonym.
And that was pretty much the end of the comic for almost ten fucking years.
Chris, Sonichu and their colorful hedgehog friends poison the world's water supply to genocide the gays, destroy a building killing hundreds of people, someone bombs them in retaliation and they kidnap the terrorists, put them through a show trial and brutally torture and execute them one by one, leaving them a bloody, battered mess on the floor.
Then Chris became a tranny, his dad died, his house caught on fire and he found out those girls he hung out with in highschool were actually a bunch of shallow thots who only hung out with him out of pity.
And for ten long years, that was where the story ended…
I can't believe a fucking Holla Forumsack got Chris to canonize that Magi-chan is gay
I do not think that word means what Christine thinks it does.
You forgot when Chris got arrested for macing a Gamestop employee.
If you're paying Chris for shitty artwork, the joke is on you.
Well yeah, but that was right around the time the financhu crisis ended and the Sonichu Renaissance began.
ebay.com
That shit is GOLD.
If you try to get Chris to do a commission he'll draw what he likes and insult you and your ideas. If you want him to draw say, himself anally raping Sonichu, you cater to his insanity and pretend to be a psychic who can commune with fictional characters.
Do dicks overridre the vagina? She looks female in every other area, and its not like she DOESN'T have a vag. So yeah, I would say MagiChan is gay, but only if we got confirmation that Silvana doesn't have a pussy.
...
In the comic, he always depicts himself as having heterochromia. Does he have it in real life? I don't think I've ever seen a good enough picture to tell.
It's… Sort-of there, but not nearly as pronounced as he'd like to believe.
After six years of silence after Sonichu #10, at long last Chris, through herculean effort, finally released SONICHU #11!
Was it worth the wait? Oh fuck no.
Fun fact: the first twelve pages of the comic were released alongside Sonichu 10. When the comic was abandoned, these were chronologically the past pages for eight years.
BLACHU AIN'T NO NIGGER, MAN!
Chris attempts to get us to believe that he didn't kill the Asperchu Four, but it's a vain attempt. We know the truth!
These pages just came out this year.
For those worrying that Chris had sold out, don't worry. Shit is still fucking weird.
This kills me everytime
Oh shit, it's Simonchu! Is he going to be the villain now? Going to get some revenge for Evan's death?
Oh … he's not. Fuck.
Jesus why did he retcon the asperpedia executions but not Sandy being a murderer?
Somehow, Chris makes his trolls seem even more sympathetic. They have understandable motivations that you can emotionally connect to, unlike Chris.
Reginald's face on page 62 is genuinely unsettling.
Wh…What the fuck?
Absolute thotimon
One of the only people stupid enough to be Chris' fan paid Chris to do this arc on patreon. Chris being Chris dragged his feet, went off script and outright insults the guy in the comic.
My brain is full of fuck right now. Chris has thrown me for a loop and I don't like it.
What the fuck is going on? A fucking banana dinosaur, fuck what?
Jesus
Sonichu catches up with Sonic, but it's not really Sonic, it' Silvania, but … so there's another level to all this? Like, in Chris's head there's the real world, CWCville, but also the real world CWCville where all the characters are actors?
Just how fucking deep does this shit go, Chris?
FUCK YES A JERK-COP! An actual antagonist for once. Aaand he's gone.
I'll have to admit that, if you didn't know what was going on in Chris's life, this whole issue is jarring enough to give you whip-lash. You go from #10 where Chris eliminates homosexuality and asexuality from the human race, to this issue where Chris is suddenly cool with the gays despite canon stating they shouldn't exist anymore.
This shit's a fucking trip, man.
So apparently, the defeat of Mary Lee Walsh caused a sexual awakening in Chris where he realizes he wants to be a woman. So he uses his Chris-chan Sonichu powers to turn himself into a woman.
I was hoping Sonichu #11 would be a return to the bizarre world of Chris-Chan, and boy, I got more than I bargained for.
Chris, who the fucks on the phone? You say it's your dad, but your dad's dead, Chris. He died in 2011. So who you talking to? A ghost?
So ends SONICHU #11. We don't get the Lovequest anymore, but there is something …. certainly weird … to replace it. It's nice to know that in the five years between Sonichu #10 and Sonichu #11 that Chris has sought absolutely no help for his obvious mental problems.
As this new era begins, what awaits our "no-longer-a-virgin-with-rage" hero? What troubles will he face? What enemies, if any? Find out in the next exciting issue of SONICHU!
Poor blind OP, of course death could not take the lumberjack, how else would he have shown up on page 48?
Bob chandler also had two other Kids,the Son is a Doctor and has a Daughter.
Love how Jason is Seig Heil'ing as he introduces himself.
Now, I haven't seen the rest of this yet, but I think the creep you're referring to is supposed to be mewtwo.
