My wife's bringing her two kids (9 and 10) over this weekend, and I need something to keep them occupied.
I don't own any consoles, but I've got two old laptops lying around - can Holla Forums recommend any decent games that run on a pair of laptops (1.66ghz dual core and 2 gigs of ram each)?
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you can't make this shit up
Doom?
Easy to find, download and set up and pretty fun.
Also
Don't worry, her previous husband shot himself in the head. I'm not a cuck.
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Holla Forums
Was this not a red flag?
Did he kill himself after catching you fucking her? Also if you're married why aren't they living with you?
JUST
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So I have a question, since nobody's actually talking about video games anyway. Is it cool for me to date a woman who has a kid if I have kids too? It seems like in this scenario I'm not really getting my shit just fucked up, but I'm not 100% sure on this.
Depends on who has shittier kids and is, therefore, reaping more benefits.
One of you is getting your shit fucked up.
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I'd really like it if we could talk about videogames, my wife's pill-addicted, retard ex isn't really the main focus here.
I downloaded a pack of stuff like Hexen, Doom 1 and 2, Chex Quest etc. which should keep 'em busy for just a little while.
Remmie, the oldest, is big into the whole building/crafting/survival garbage at the moment though - I doubt shit like minecraft would run smoothly on my laptop, but is there something in that kinda vein that you guys can think of?
Get your kid to play Wurm and ruin their lives.
Who the fuck names their kid Remmie
None of them are really shitty. Her kid's been over to play with my youngest and is quiet and polite. I've got 3, but I'm strict enough with them that they're all pretty well-behaved.
Jesus christ user.
You could try Terraria though.
What the fuck, she can't be that hot if she's already been married and has kids, so it can't be that. Are you just that desperate for affection?
Why are you unironically asking for parenting/dating advice from a board whose userbase consists mostly of edgy 15-year-olds and kissless neckbeards?
Terraria ought to keep them entertained for the entire weekend.
You're fucked no matter what.
Just admit you're a lonely virgin who needs games for his basement toaster, user.
minecraft, it's a great child toy
He was big into shotguns.
I guess shotguns got into him, too.
Because I have very few people in my life and don't know who else to ask.
Well, it was a hypothetical anyway. She's a friend, but I'm not looking to make that more serious. It's really just one of those questions that pops into my head and bugs me. Usually I forget them by the next day, though.
Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about Terraria.
Think Starbound would run on it, too? I doubt they're smart enough to understand why Starbound is garbage, and more variety means there's less chance of then smearing peanut butter over the keyboard (or whatever the hell it is kids do when they're bored).
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Yeah I could gather that from "shot himself in the head"
Just give them Terraria instead, they're similar enough a kid won't know the difference. And Doom. Make those little shitstains play Doom.
as an added badass bonus, make them play the Doom wad that has the 3D0 ost.
And make sure they don't just cheese bosses with the BFG. Casuals need the BFG. You don't want your wife's kids to be casuals, do you?
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in this day and age, kids enjoying doom is an impressive enough feat as it is. let the lack of BFG be a challenge for later
OP if you're gonna help us make you a suggestion at least give us the specs od your pc.
Let them play Far Cry 1, Soul Reaver 1, Dungeon Siege 1, Diablo 1-2, Witcher 2 with ubersampling, Black and White, Battlefield 1942 or Vietnam
I guess. I know I played through it on "Hurt Me Plenty" a few times as a kid, including a no-BFG run. My dad's a preacher and that was the first game he bought me, because "Nothing's more Christian than killing Satan, son."
dude your dad is a fucking badass.
Yeah I guess he must have been
Protip: Holla Forums's collective hivemind opinions are barely worth anything when it comes to video games
When it comes to literally anything else, they're less than worthless
I did (1.66ghz dual core and 2 gigs of ram), though I guess I neglected to say it's not got any sort of graphics card - just an onboard GPU.
I wonder what he'd think of SMT.
This thread just gets better and better.
He'd probably just get confused by the whole thing.
Oh, yeah. He's always been a bit weird by pastor standards. Doesn't play much anymore, though. Mostly just Tetris knockoffs.
sorry to hear.
heres doom with the 3do ost wad-archive.com
He's just getting older, turns 58 on Sunday. I hear he did bring the old PS2 upstairs, though. Knowing him he'll mostly use it for Gran Turismo, but that's still something.
user, fathers like that should be cherished.
Yeah, I know. He's always had great taste in games, too. He would just pick random ones he thought I would like as birthday gifts, and that was usually stuff like Viewtiful Joe and Okami.
I'm not gonna try and ruin whatever you've got working, but how much thought did you put in getting into that relationship?
Your dads a pretty cool guy user.
Answer the question, OP. And why the fuck don't you at least have a GameCube or PS2? Come on.
Yep. He used to play Dwarf Fort and Killing Floor a lot, too. Picked up the latter to play with me and my brother, and Dwarf Fort was because he's really interested in architecture and such.
You fucking pathetic cuckold.
emulate a fuckton of NES/SNES titles, but honestly, ditch the financial drain of raising someone else's kids and upgrade that toaster to a dual video card Vive machine.
It's time for you to follow in his footsteps.
ruggasssmell pls
I'm in full favor of this plan actually.
his wife isn't pill-addicted, her ex was.
Agreed, emulation's a solid choice. But maybe pick easier stuff like Mario. Some of that old stuff is probably too hard for kids of the CoD generation.
I was more gearing towards the dumping the possibly crazy bitch and burden of more kids in favor of a vive machine but that too.
That too, yeah. But back on the kids, a lot of kids don't like to play when they can't win, anymore. So something like Super Punch-Out is probably a bit much.
You stupid fucking beta cuck is Holla Forums really this fucking retarded. Cucks who derail threads of muh nazis whether for them or against them depending on the OP, anit-gun Euros and Aussies, and now this. People on /r9k/ aren't as socially inept.
The wife isnt the pill popper, the guy who pulled a kurt cobain was.
I think you don't know what you got yourself into. This must be bait.
Don't these kids have their own tablets?
Just give them youtube if they don't have tablets. that's ALL they want, trust me.
If the kids are the type to sit inside on a computer, they just want to watch youtube, and play streambait games their fav youtubers play.
Or, you could be a good person and give them some nerf guns and make them play outside.
Think of the children, user
I gave my 12 year old "nerd" cousin a multi GB pack of games like that (Duke3D, Blood, Doom 1/2, etc) and he never played any of them them or gave my flash drive back. He openly calls his mother "mommy" in front of people at his age too, so I'm not sure what I expected. I just knew I would have been floored by that at his age.
Poor kid has 3 sisters for siblings, raised by a single mother, household funded by a multimillion dollar settlement gotten via rape charges (not joking). He's really effeminate already. His first exposure to porn when he discovered wacking it in the last year or two was probably sissy hypno videos. We babylon now.
also,
ALLAHU ACKBAR
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I feel as if this thread instantly diverted down a much more amusing path, but I'll contribute to the original topic:
Still, the very essence and original definition of cuckoldry is raising another man's children. Come on, dude.
would DMC4 original do? I heard it's quite optimized.
only if you're cucking the dad.
it get's fucking worse
FUCKING DAMN SON
I like your dad
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I won't pretend that I'm not a filthy degenerate or anything, but this is a genre I just don't understand. I could deal with other people having their own fetishes if it weren't for the fact it's gotten so big that it's practically taken over hypno.
This thread is fake and gay, go back to funnyjunk OP.
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You guys are fucking idiots. The kids are preteens. This guy could have much more influence over the shaping of their lives than some worthless suicide's sperm squirts, if he bothered to spend more time with them.
Anyway, Minecraft will run "okay" on literally any computer made in the last 15 years, from the toaster to the $3000 "gaming computer", depending on how you set the graphics detail and render distance.
Better to have kids grow up with another father than in a single fucking mother household, throw around the term cuck all you want you hungry memers but nothing is stopping him from knocking her up again and heaven fucking knows the world doesn't need 2 more emotional wrecks coming from single mother households, especially after the father offed himself.
Chex Quest to answer your question OP. That or Nerf Arena Blast. Set up for LAN play between the two they'll have a fucking blast.
Getting bored of that the oldies like Commander Keen, The Incredible Machine, or Museum Madness should keep them nice and occupied and could run on a calculator. You also got the option of an SNES emulator.
I guess some men want to be sissies
I have a nine year old nephew that does exactly this. He watches the cringiest Youtubers, and plays nothing but MC, FNAF, G-mod, and now Tumblrtale.
I tried downloading Cave Story for him, but he couldn't figure out the controls, and when he asked I told him that if you don't know a game's control scheme to just start pressing buttons to see what does what. He quit pretty immediately.
Why would you encourage that shit?
Time to stop posting, user.
Become her new ex husband. Do what you must do.
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Hahahahahahahahaha. AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. Is this fucker serious.
You are raising another mans children?
You're raising another mans children, you are literally a cuck. What the fuck are you doing. Those children are not genetically related to you. Stop doing this shit.
JUST
No, YOU are a fucking idiot and should do as OP's bull did and as OP is about to do following our advice, just end your fucking pathetic existence.
Raising children that are not genetically your descendants is cuckoldry. If you do that, you are a subhuman. It doesn't fucking matter if OP is capable of positively influencing those kids and raising them into decent humans, they're not his children.
so if a child's parents die they should be left to die in a gutter?
Yes
Nice trips!
Historically, extended family or, failing that, public institutions would be responsible for raising such children in a European society.
As a man, never ever raise another completely unrelated man's children, especially if it's just part of the bargain to bang their mother.
Or you know, raised in an orphanage? Either that or die in a gutter.
Sure as fuck shouldn't be raised by a couple that can have biological children of their own.
Professional paid cuckoldry.
But wouldn't the workers there be cucks?
Yes
Nice dubs!
Well its their job and they're getting paid for it. Besides, typically people running orphanages have been widows or otherwise without children of their own.
I guess another option would be to let the state raise orphans, just make them into child soldiers or something ayyyy.
We can of course devise exceptions to the rule. Say that the emperor and his family have been slain by traitors, except for one son who was staying in a remote location. As a legionary who has discovered him, it is not cuckolded to secret the child away, teach and raise him, and restore the Imperial line.
You need to have the justified instinct against cuckoldry tempered by higher masculine virtue, such as honor and obligation in this example.
Orphans should be put to work in factories or just killed. Cuckoldry of any form should not be tolerated.
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Where did you get the idea that I encourage that? From Cave Story? It may be indie pixelshit, but it's still a good game. And since it is similar to his shit taste I was hoping it would ween him off of the garbage he's into.
Where the fuck are the video games you shitposting faggots.
Chips Challenge
Worms Armageddon
DooD
N+
Army Men
Cave Story
Jedi Knight
or just have sex with them
Where do you think you are? A video game board?
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but this way its not incest
did any of you even think of that
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA
Alright, this thread is starting to sound fucking annoying. Cuck has been overused to the point where it's not even funny anymore. And comparing this to having the wife cheat and stick you with their kids while they're banging is retarded.
OP, hope you took anything game wise from a thread that HAD NO FUCKING VIDEOGAMES.
We need to figure out if this action uncucks a person. This is important. It IS a display of dominance over the other man…
I would say Doom, but now you need some FPS that have headshots to learn them to shoot just like their daddy did.
What about marrying someone JUST to fuck her kids? Is that cuckoldry?
LITERALLY A CUCK
CUCK
U
C
K
ALLACU CUCKBAR