Is this game the biggest spit to the faces of historians everywhere?

STOP THE PRESSES
REMOVE ALL MAGIC FROM ALL GAMES EVER
BAN MARIO, HUMANS CAN'T JUMP FOUR TIMES THEIR HEIGHT
REMOVE DOOM, HUMANS CAN'T RUN AT MACH 5 AND SURVIVE FALLS FROM ANY HEIGHT
REMAKE CIVILIZATION AND MAKE ALL AFRICAN NATIONS AS JOKE NATIONS THAT EXIST ONLY TO BE CONQUERED BY OTHERS
…Actually, the last one sounds pretty funny, let's do it.

Well it has half-swording, so that's a plus

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/thread

Congrats, you posted the dumbest thing on Holla Forums of all 2016.

That is clearly not even fucking close to what they are aiming for, stop being a faggot.

I hope it's fun to play, but I don't exactly have a lot of faith in Ubisoft these days.

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that's not big O…..

History is a waste of time and money.

t. history major

This tbh fam

That sounds like shit fampai

You must be pretending, surely. 10/10 if you are.

H-hey you can go into poli sci or e-economics right

WW1 French soldiers weren't the woman tier bitches from WW2

My take on it was that that war God took a bunch of warriors from each race and set them to battle each other. Probably for war mana or something.
Not participating in gen8, so does ubisoft games come to steam and do you think the PC version will last longer than a year

The French are actually moody, neurotic, and aggressive irl and Germans are goofy and jolly for the most part

Dunno where those stereotypes came from

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According to the history books:
Germans = literally Hitler
Frenchies = smelly assholes who got their shit kicked in because they can't fight.

It probably became that way because propaganda was literally the only information Americans got about Europe.

Oh God, you're not alone. History/Religious Studies DM here. Shit that happened long ago and shit that never happened, the major.

I'll have to pull a Soul Man just to get hired to teach "history" at some shitty middle school. Also the video games are bad now.

The only reason they could even pretend to get away with the bullshit they're pulling in BF1 is because all WW1 veterans are dead.

To be honest if it were realistic it'd be no fun at all

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ubisoft is on my forever-shit-list, since they first implemented always online singleplayer.

May pirate this though, looks interesting. And maybe some day, when they stop trying to stick their collective dick in my ass, I may just start giving them money again.

Viking era is commonly defined as starting on 8 June 793, first viking raid with the attack on Lindesfarne, and ending in 1066 with the Battle of Stamford Bridge. It is commonly reckoned that after this they assimilated into Christian european culture and seized to be vikings.
The european knight is wearing a plate armor, a style that didn't develop until the latter half of the 13th century and died out by the 15th due to the growing prevalence of guns.
The samurai's we would recognize today as samurai mostly are from around the Sengoku Jidai period officially began in 1467, but all the famous stuff with clans and names you might possibly recognize is 1550 and forward.
What year was this supposed to be set in again?
Even in a fictional setting, you'd have to explain why the vikings are using 500 year old weapons and armour and why the samurai would stick with shitty japanese armour and weapons when forced to fight dudes in porper plate armour, something japan never managed to develop due to their lack of decent quality armour. Fuck, the japs figured a handful of dudes on horses with swords was devastatingly powerful cavalry, just imagine what they'd be able to do against a massed charge of barded knights with lances and plate armour…

BTW, since they are just taking stereotypes, where is the mongol horse archer, chinese soldier, ottoman Sipahi, Aztec Eagle Warrior or any of a dozen other prototypical warriors they could have picked?

DLC

I swear you people make posts like these on purpose.

Ah yes, good, a post worthy of the new [Grab] feature

pssst, its not real. Get it together you dumb fuck.

Tardposting is extremely fun. The key is to make it so moronic that people NEED to correct you, while still showing enough glimmer of sanity that it's not dismissed out of hand. I don't really do it on Holla Forums (don't shit where you eat), but it is a wonderful tool to degrade other communities I don't like.
It's very amusing and destructive.

What does that do exactly? just screen cap the specific post?

Yes
Puts a watermark on it, so it's basically shit, but eh

you faggots are part of the reason why games are so uninteresting post 2007

also this

Fucking ubisoft

And how the fuck did you come to this conclusion

>>>/gulag/

This is Lindybeige-tier retarded and you should feel bad.

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I guess they were isolated snow niggers and suddednly the earthquakes caused them to emmigrate to the warmer lands or some shit.

This, I want more than just 3 factions, guive me my aztecs and shit, I guess that shit isn't mainstream enough to be appreciated.

another main beef I have against this is

This, why not simply explain shit about anything, just put 2 bands and let them hump each other like Age of Empires
It just happened

If I recall correctly, the wars were going on for 1000 years
ONE THOUSAND YEARS
100 I could probably believe, but 1000 means they should be atleast using gunpowder, airplanes, tatical bombings and shit by now.

I never thought I'd see the day.

Same plot as age of empires, really.

His argument is correct tho, fiction isn't inherently related to fantasy.
That said the premise he's attacking isn't, this isn't a fictional setting, it's a fantastic setting.

A fictional setting would be one that could coexist plausibly with real life events; and since vikings, heavy armored knights and samurai didn't exist on the same time periods this plot isn't plausible in a historical setting.

Or based in speculations, such as in science-fiction.

This made me laugh harder than I should've.

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He's not entirely wrong.
For fiction to be good the world must function with (either its own or our) laws of physics and so on. It must at least operate in a way that could be perceived as real otherwise it's just nonsense and jibberish.

But jap military equipment was generally shit because of how poor they were.
Medieval knights would murder them.

Also, Lindybeige makes good points.

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

No by any means.
But if you want to make good game about knights, it will better be fucking historic and brutal.

Lindybeige is a faggot.

That's from a different period 10th to 11th century civil war using different weapons horseback archery, something europeans had been fighting against since before the huns, that the japanese had largely abandoned by the time of the Sengoku wars and would have none of the impact of a mass charge of european knights in barding and full plate, using couched lances.
The cav you are looking for is the one that Takeda made famous during the Sengoku Jidai that would be nowhere near a match for those european knights, but at their time was considered overwhelmingly powerful.

Its a game dullard

Japanese arms and armour were shit because the majority of their metal supply was crappy pig iron, and came from iron sand.

It's totally plausible that with different events on the time line samurai knights and Vikings coulda all ended up fucking around together. You wouldn't even need to think hard to do it.

Refer to

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who cares

read Infantry Attacks! by Rommel and tell me that wouldn't make for a fucking sick book

sick game, not book. i'm tired and also retarded

He makes as many bad points as he does good.

What does that have to do with anything?
My point doesn't concern any kind of versus argument.

They still used a significant amount of mounted archers, samurai just weren't exclusively so at that point.

They wouldn't be "dudes on horses with swords", They'd be armed with polearms of various kinds.

Obviously.
Knights wouldn't be riding ponies for one.

Oh baby.
I would play a game that had every classic type of warrior as classes.

Wrong image, that is a dude on a horse with a sword.

Is this game the biggest spit to the faces of historians everywhere?

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I was lied about this game:i thought it was going to be just big fucking battle between three of the most iconic warriors of history with great combat.
And i've got a shitty combat with a plot and ebil stronk wymmin.

Shills out in force

You can't just put Sam Lake anywhere you want

That's just it. Using a spear on horseback is nowhere near the same as a proper couched lance.
Think of it like this. There's 3 ways you can use a pointy stick from horseback to poke at other dudes. Well, 4 if you count parking your horse next to them and just stabbing them repeatedly, which we won't count, since we're looking at ways to use that pointy stick during a charge.
1st way is to hold it in your hand and just stab at people as you ride past. This adds a lot of momentum to your stab from the horses speed as it runs, but if you hit anything too hard it will knock that spear right out of your hand. This is how Normans fought at Hastings and how samurai's used those polearms from horseback.
2nd way is to couch that lance in your armpit and really holding on to it for dear life as you charge, giving you a better grip on the lance, thus allowing you to hit much harder before the lance is knocked out of your hands. This is how the lance charge evolve in europe.
3rd is to do the second method, but with a pointy stick specifically designed to let you hold on to it, including a little plate that goes in front of your shoulder when you hold the lance under your armpit and an improved grip to help insure there's no way that lance is knocked out of your hands while you are still sitting on the horse. This lets you transfer pretty much the entire force of the charging horse 1500 pounds or more of horse, 200 pounds of dude on its back and another hundred pounds of barding and armor between the two, all going 30-40 miles an hour at the enemy, a total force like being run over by a small car, and focus it all into that lance as the knight plows right into his target. This is how the classic jousting knight with a lance does it. It lets you hit a hell of a lot harder than just using a spear on horseback ever will. It can almost hit hard enough to effectively punch through a european plate armor. Almost…
See the difference between the japanese approach where the japs where just beginning to figure out how to use polearms from horseback effectively on a battlefield when takeda was killed, the tactic never caught on in the same way with his rivals and the whole war ended in a 400 year relative peace shortly after, so the japs never really developed the lance, nor the tactics that make it useful, nor the means to counter it effectively.

Go play a milsim.
For a fuckaround shooter for time killing fun>accuracy.

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i like theology…and im alwasy sad that i cant discuss with anyone since being a ebin atheist without any base knowledge of other religion and a shitty base of old testament or meme spowting

life is hard if you like discussion

First post, best post

This game seems cool and all, the only thing that bothers me is why the fuck are there female knights for the game's E3 trailer?
Female Vikings, understandable. Female Samurai?
A jap fag is gonna need to help me out with that one.

Who gives a shit.
I think it looks awesome.

I don't fucking know shit about the game but if its half as good as chivalry I'm fucking for it.

If it wanted to be historically accurate I would agree, but its set in some magical realm bullshit and is just an excuse to have sick french knights, Samurai, and Vikings fight. So who cares?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onna-bugeisha
That actually has more historical evidence than viking shield maidens…
Its not that this kind of stuff never happened. Just like Jean d'arc, but like the maiden of Orleans, it was extremely rare.

Ehh, I guess.

this shit again?

yeah, sounds like the ubisoft target audience.

I see you got your F and NF mixed up, see, F stands for fake, or fiction, while NF stands for not fake, or non-fiction. Didn't your librarian teach you better?

Liking dumb shit is fine dude.
Video games are generally best when they are dumb, since Video game writers can't write for shit.

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Tbh western knights wold btfo any nip swordsman irl. They have better, armour, better quality steel, and better weapons.
Those katanas wouldn't be next to useless against a fully armoured knight, while knights can at least bash each other with the pommel and crossguard, as well as drive the pointy end in between gaps in the armour when using a longsword.
The Japanese hardly developed their swords over hundreds of years, while western weapons and armour constantly developed and evolved in a race between protection and weaponry, resulting in western equipment being superior.
Still, it's only a game, right? I don't see anyone claiming it to be based on history anyway (unlike battlefield 1) Looks pretty cool, but will probably be shit.

It's been years since these threads were regular. I wonder if it'll pick back up again now.

Everyone knows that Ninja could beat knights though, and they wont be in the game for balance reasons.

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I love her but she was basically just a huge morale boost.

If jews were allowed to rewrite history with their shitty movies i dont see the problem with mental ill faggots using games do the same

I pity people milenia from now getting confused as fuck trying to make sense of this gibberish, they will probably end up like religious fucks nowadays and kill each other over it

And what pray tell, do you suppose your farmer turned spy by informing his lord on enemy troop movements, is going to do to kill a knight in full plate? Snitch on him?

MUH NIPPON STEEL

Vikings are overrated, boring and shit

Prove me wrong.

They crossed the atlantic, colonised greenland in the west and served the byzantine emperor as loyal bodyguards in the east.
The normans, who where direct descendants from danes who settled in northern france, went on to conquer england, become kings in sicily and invented the massed lance charge that would go on to dominate european warfare.
Other than that, they dominated trade in the north sea, baltic and made tons of money selling ivory, furs and slaves to middleeaster markets while selling so many slavic slaves back to catholic europe the word Slave in english ended up being adopted based on the slaves ethnicity catholics needed slav heathens since the church forbade keeping other catholics as slaves.
Other than that, no, they didn't do too much interesting…

But that's literally the opposite of what fiction means…

By using their garden tools folded over a thousand times, vagina poison, ki attacks and occasionally laser beams, obviously.

They're basically snowniggers that went around pillaging undefended towns, got their shit pushed in when they fought actual armies, and had a decent trade network. All in all completely mediocre at everything, you can name plenty that did everything they did but better.

They're popular due to metal-listening faggots and American "pagans" who revere them for acting like niggers and dancing around a stick in the mud (but at the same time calling niggers subhuman for doing the same).

I remember reading that it was set in a fictional world, which explains why samurai, medieval knights and Vikings are even able to fight each other.
Unconfirmed though, I don't remember the source

The more I read of this game the more it angers me

OP, have you ever heard of… Empire Earth 3?

And here we have it lads, the modern "fun is a buzzword" post. A true work of art.

Don't forget the ninja robots.

WE WAS DOUGHBOYS

This only happened when they got rekt by Germany in WW2.

France had the biggest victory/defeat ratio in European wars since the middle ages. They dismantled the HRE and even taken Moscow in the 19th century. They also had the 2nd biggest colonial empire after Britain. The list goes on.

French history is utterly underrated.

poor France
it also doesn't help that for a long time their national flag was literally a white square

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You are right about couched lances, but that doesn't change the fact that for a Samurai galloping along at ten to or twenty KPH on a pony, it isn't going to make him more effective than just continuing to use a longbow and cutting weapons.
Notice that Europeans only started using horses the way they did after the crusades, when they got bigger, more powerful horses.
On top of that, Japan generally isn't suitable for heavy cavalry.

Because by then it was a good way to have your men get shot to pieces by ashigaru with guns.

You're defending a guy who thinks bipods make machine guns more powerful.
He's a retard.

What.

Where are the guns though?

Samurai were famous for their guns.

You're doing the samurai excellence wrong.

Dumbfuck who only know of samurai via movies.

Charles Martell is spinning so fast in his grave you could attach a turbine to him and power all of Europe.

Precisely, I said they were poor (natural resources).
Just look at what most of their armor was made from.

Have you ever taken a closer look at japanese armor?
Metal of any kind - even shitty one - was a luxury.

Not even vias movies, samurai shoot and get shot quite a lot in Jap flicks.

Completely disregarding the main advantage of guns in this era.

Are you kidding? the japs were one of the first ones to use musket line formation.

Pic is ashigaru, but still.

Imagine if this shit game is done even realistically, you would have vikings gun down as soon as they land.

Got any suggestions?

Way of the Samurai 4.

Not really samurai, but Shadow Warrior is pretty gud.

I quoted this part for a reason. The biggest advantage of guns in this era was that you could raise some levies, give them some basic training with firearms, put them in line formations and they will be almost as efficient as seasoned veterans, doesn't matter if it's ashigaru filth.

Meanwhile troops using melee weapons or bows would profit a lot more from being gifted and experienced. It's pretty much the same shit as crossbows versus bows.

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They weren't samurai once the white man gave them guns, though.

And that battle, unlike every other instance if cavalry charging ahead without support to assault entrenched and fortified infantry, this time it was really only because of the weapons.
The lesson here isn't that guns make cavalry obsolete, the fact that europe would continue to use cavalry until WWI shows that this is not the case.
The lesson is rather "DON'T CHARGE YOUR CAVALRY INTO FORTIFIED INFANTRY WITHOUT SUPPORT"

Go play Sengoku Rance.

I don't think you understand just how entirely wrong you are.
Point out what part of this armor is wooden or leather.

TAKEDA I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUNDS OF MY GUNS

Cavalry doesn't get obsolete because cavalry also carries guns.

Seriously, you niggers and your history.

Dragoons, learn to them.

Most dragoons dismounted, fired and rode off before they could be shot at again. The shorter guns were for convenience of riding.

Because dragoons where the only cavalry from the 15th century onwards. Right.
I'm sure the polish hussars will be surprised when they realise they didn't use lances…

Yes, and these dragoons gradually replace mainstream cavalries.

When guns get better, the polish hussars stop being a thing, yes.

They were last relevant in the Napoleonic war, the American Civil war shows that either you use a gun or you die.

Implying.

If you notice, this is when guns just start to get into Japland, of course Takeda is going to leave these precious weapons into the most capable hands so they don't waste its firepower hitting air.

Not exactly. Dragoons became simply mounted infantry, and not to mention Calvary didn't disappear until after the first world war, fuck the first kill on the western front was done by a guy with a sword.

Australians with sharpened bayonets would like a word with you, nothing better than fucking turks up by swinging a bayonet.

The first WW cavalries were mainly scouts, and their roles were rather small compared to infantries.

And savage like you, I will kill with a Maxim gun.

Most capable hands that would be better suited elsewhere. The shooting in the air part is solved by a basic training of less than a week.

Like where?

Takeda wants everyone to carry a gun, just that there aren't enough guns for him.

well played fisherman

Spears? Bows? Melee weapons so that they don't get fucked if the enemy gets close? In this situation his best guys with muskets would be even more useless than the shitters who don't have guns.

There are already enough shittiers with spears and bows and melee weapons.

It's the guns that are lacking.

But a shitter with a gun and basic training will be as good as a major league samurai, so the veteran would have a bigger potential contribution elsewhere where his skills actually matter.

As said, guns at the times were finnicky and precious weapons that the japs still couldn't mass produce.

Giving them to the peasants who can blow the guns up is not a matter to Takeda.

Only after guns were successfully mass-produced that we see Oda conquering Japan with his peasant gunner armies.

Internal consistency doesn't mean the same as adherence to reality. First is more than enough.

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They don't pretend to be historically accurate. It is just bullshit for the sake of supposed fun.

Now this is a spit, insult, ect.

Also a friendly reminder that Japan is not bothered by changing the historic true of its own culture. One of the biggest examples for that are ninja. They completely changed the characteristics of ninja for the entertainment industry and were able to popularized them big time.

Silk.

I think you are trolling, common soldiers did wear metal armor.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashigaru

Who gives a fuck what gooks are bothered by?

True. Mindyou, napoleonic wars ended in 1812. Some 300-400 years after the timeframe we where discussing, and cavalry trained to fight almost exclusively in hand to hand combat with sabers or even lances remained a thing until then.
So no, guns didn't end cavalry right away. It wasn't really until breachloaded rifles with cartridges that could be quickly loaded and fired, that cavalry lost its relevance.
What did happen to warfare in europe as guns became more prevalent was pike and shot warfare. If the japs had tried to pull that fortified musketline bullshit on a european army they would just have been shot to hell and back by canons since their entire formation is immobile so long as they're hiding behind those barricades.

What Koreans have to do with this conversation?

line formations and they will be almost as efficient as seasoned veterans, doesn't matter if it's ashigaru filth.

Now obviously it was nothing compared to the time needed to become skilled with a sword or to train the musculature and deform the skeleton for an european longbow, but actually guns during that period required/benefited a lot from training and skill, and needed more than the in japan commonly used polearms.

Well trained troops are more accustomed to bad vision due to gun smoke, can achieve a rof twiceor even three times higher than untrained, can face a cavalry charge, fire in formation, etc.

To add on that during WW2 cavalry divisions , which basically acted like dragoons, were still in use.

For anything close to modern times he is absolutely shit.
As example during a vs with the Bren he bundled the MG34 and 42 together as "spandau", one is rotating bolt, select fire capablegun the other a roller-locked made out of stamped sheet metal.
To add on that some argument for the Bren was that the allies were winning the war and that the Bren was used up until the 2006, totally forgetting that the rechambered MG42 is still sued by 36 countries.

Checked

Thank you, user.

Lather, cloth, silk and iron bits. That's what later era samurai armors were made of.

I mean, the game looks like shit, but not every game has to be vetted by history user, only the ones that are pretending to be historical like

user…

anybody has that webm with max payne as a parody? was posted a few days ago, did not save it

What if I LIKE medieval europe and want to use it as a base for my game? ho are these people to attack my game based on its location and "not being diverse enough"?
There is one little thing called suspension of dispelief. Dragons and fairies in a mythological setting get a pass because those stories were told to us ever since we were kids and despite knowing they are not real, we find them believable enough.
Having a dragon raze a medieval castle is far more believable than having a nigger in a knight armor, and will continue to be so until history itself will be rewritten to be PC and kids in school will learn of the great black german kings.
Those kids will find niggers in armor believable, but at that point there will be no more history worth teaching.

Nice blatant racism going on.

and turn out with wither a stereotype for which they'll hang you or a character thta doesn't fit its skin color, for which they'll drown you with negative comments on twatter

Speak all you want, any dev falling for this shit won't see any money from me, let's see what's stronger, shit opinions or hard cash.

Fuck these people, what conference was this?

You fucking what, mate? Throughout France's history, the french employed aggressive tactics that no one else dared to.

That was also true for WW1, but after seeing the huge losses, they went full defensive "muh maginot line" and weren't prepared to be caught off guard. Their government was also a fucking mess at the time, you uneducated nigger.

This right here.

Unless the game is claiming to be historically accurate, it shouldn't be held to those standards.

Otherwise any game with ninjas, viking, Centurions, samurais, cowboys, aliens, or what the fuck ever would be "problematic"

Fiction is supposed to adhere to reality, fucking retard
jesus fucking shit man, that is fucking classic fucking dumbass right there folks.

History (religion too) is a great teacher that makes you understand how our world came to be along with its nations and cultures, and that makes you understand many of current conflicts and realities better, as you can draw parallels with the past. It's a great tool for for developing your own opinions and finding more truths about our world (and being indisposable for philosophy), but it's not something you'd major in and find a fucking job with, morons. What did you imagine your job would be when you entered that field? The only jobs I can imagine from the top of my head are a history teacher, museum worker, and maybe an archaeologist if you're very lucky, all of which are fucking shit.

Atleast it has halfswording.

You gotta give it that.

this needs more meme

Why did you meme arrow that?

I would say you're forgetting historical advisors, but by the state of modern media I don't think that job exists anymore.

Why? Was it because he shit talked japanese warfare?

That depends.

Biblical worldview
or
Evolutionary worldview

If the second, you're an idiot.

Does Holla Forums have any love for the Hussites? They fucked up like 5 Crusades sent against them and gave no fucks.

Bloody hussites, with with OP hand cannons and their cheesy wagon fort bullshit.
NERF DAMNIT!

Vikings were literally snow mongols, they were pillaging undefended towns and the moment they ran into proper resistance/army they were utterly defeated

Also they were shit traders, the whole damn reason they started pillaging is because their goods was of low quality and they were so damn stupid they didnt know proper farming

nice myth viking kido, world slave in english dictionary comes from Roman times where slave was called SCLAVUS, it has no connection to Slavs which call themselves Slovenes in their language

They threw the mayor of Prague out of his window so hard that their King died of a heart attack. That's brutal.

Is that why 90% of the ships found from the period where merchant ships?
Why 80% of the coins from the period in Scandinavia where minted in the middle east, despite there being no recorded Viking raids TO the middle east?
Is that why all the biggest cities in scandinavia at the time Birka, Ribe and Hedeby where all commercial centers, not particularly know for being heavily fortified or for having large armies?
All the evidence from the period points to vikings primarily being merchants and traders, with groups taking to raiding, but since the vikings wrote down nothing about their own culture, we don't actually know anything about it other than what catholic monks where saying, and those guys had a bit of a political bias against hairy barbarians who occasionally burnt down holy places like Lindesfarne.

Why the vikings started raiding, like their culture, we don't know. We do know they made a lot of colonies where they went, while Scandinavia became an economic powerhouse for a short while, would suggest that it was not because they where poor craftsmen or farmers, but rather that Scandinavia was overpopulated. But the hard truth is, we don't know, because the Vikings didn't write their reasons for doing shit down.

All we know for a fact about the Vikings was that all the Catholic churches propaganda and has about as much to do with how scandinavian peasants lived as the average SJW diatribe has to do with how shit really works.

viking rowing boats =/= merchant ships

If you are gona be a retarded vikingboo atleast learn some facts about them

There were no scandinavian coins in Middle east, in fact middle east back then traded mainly with central/southern europe, only time someone from middle east had contact with scandinavian people was an arab trader in present day Ukraine region who noted Viking invaders were bunch of unbathed savages who treat their own women worse than muslim arabs themselves.

top kek, is that why vikings had to PERMANENTLY migrate to france/england and even to Iceland, because they were economic powerhouse ? And dont bullshit with the overpopulation, look up at present day Scandinavia and tell me its overpopulated.

Once again this is a myth, vikingboo retards like you claim that only church wrote negative things about vikings because it wasnt in their interest to write positive things yet there are numerous records of negative things about vikings written by non-christians during that era.

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oh wow

just

wow

Owned.

They only did well because their opponents were retarded. Sending wave after wave of infantry and cavalry at a heavily entrenched enemy armed with crossbows, handguns and cannon can only ever end one way.

Literally all they had to do was stand back and use artillery spam. That'd get the commies out in the open where they can be deus vulted by knights. At least by the time of the German peasant rebellions they had learned, and any wagenburg was rekt by arty spam.

The biggest find of viking ships was in Roskilde Fjord, where archeologists found a collection of ships that can been scuttled in the narrow passage ships could sail down in the fjord to block it off. 5 vessels where found, including 2 warships.
Most of them where merchant ships designed to handled 13 to 20 tons of goods at a time. This is the kind of vessels that where known to have cross the atlantic to found the colonies in Greenland. The number of finds of such vessels far outnumber the warships ever found.
The found in roskilde is the biggest collection of warships found to date. Many other merchants have been found however. Like the merchants found in Roskilde, they are mostly Knarrs.

And the whole Varangian guard thing. Or Miklagard as Byzantium was known to the Vikings who came down the rivers in eastern Europe.

You mean Ibn Fadlan's accounts? He said, and I quote:
You see Ibn does complain about their being unhygenic and disgusting, but this is because the vikings would wash themselves in water from a bowl and not running water from a decanter as was dictated by the Koran, and Muslims considered any other way unhygenic and disgusting.
Bathing and grooming daily was still far more than what was expected of catholic europeans at the time, who would bathe once or twice a year at most.
There is in fact a lot of historical sources, even catholic clerics, mentioning the vikings bathing regularly. The Cleric in question suggesting that this was done to seduce pious british women in the Danelaw.

And addictive. Tardposting is the most fun kind of shitposting there is.

no, not while shit like we wuz kangs exists.

Bravo.
A true baitmaster.

They got fucking destroyed by superior tactics and a much, much smaller army.

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Did anyone [Grab] this? it doesn't work for me

autism

Never have I ever seen someone fuck up this bad