Mary Worth thread

Why the fuck does every arc in this comic revolve around fucking cuckoldry? First Wilbur is cucked by Zakk, then by Cousin Pedro, now Doctor Geoff is going to get cucked by chin man? What the hell? Why is Mary Worth suck a venomous trollop? What the hell is Moy Brigman thinking?

Bait thread is bait.

I'm not fucking kidding.

All the good newspaper comics are dead, and the ones that are actually considered good by the majority suck. Look at Garfield or Dilbert. They both have their rare moments, but as a whole they are terrible. Charlez Schwartz is dead and the only thing that comes close to good anymore is Family Circus (not made by its original author) or Bizarro (which is good for the surealist element, while it's commentary is often without substance). Web Comics that are also in newspapers are much better, but those are a rarity. You don't see "Kevin & Kell" in your newspaper, but it is syndicated.

Today's Dick Tracy comic strip had SIMON FUCKING STAGG. Simon Stagg, from METAMORPHO.

Not even DC comics remembers Simon Stagg.

Is dick tracy a dc character? The fuck?

Is he insidiously buying a chain restaurant?

Dick Tracy had a team-up with the Spirit not too long ago. I don't know what the fuck is going on with that comic.

Keep posting. We might have a reaction image goldmine on our hands.

I guess I'll storytime a bit then.

Wilbur is a failed parody of a man. He works as a journalist covering humanitarian crises and writes an advice column where he poses as a woman.

Rule 34 on that foxy eldster?

Mary Worth's gmilf pussy is so tight it has driven men to alcoholic suicides.

Shit that posted backwards.

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wew that escalated quickly

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I can't believe Wilbur broke up with a hot MILF like Iris, especially for that cheating gold-digger Fabiana.

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Please tell me you have strips highlighting this.

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It comes up in the next couple of scenes. When he went overseas to help chronicle the plight of the minorities, he left it in Mary worth's gmilfy hands.

Wlibur's daughter a cute

I love these quotes the Sunday strips feature, they really bring some refinement to the comics page

Bueno

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Good.

Sadly Toby's husband isn't in this arc because he's hilarious. But now the real secret comes out: all of these women secretly crave college aged Chad dick.

BEANED.com

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I don't know whether to admire Wilbur's can-do attitude and confidence or cringe at his self-delusion and stalker behavior.

So they're shilling her in the USA, too.

Wilbur confirmed bitch incel
cannot fucking believe I'm getting intrigued by this shit

He was used in that awful Beware the Batman cartoon.

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Those muffins will be important later.

Poor Constanza. He just can't catch a break.

Live action Mary Worth, when?

Already happened in the 90s.

This is like Funky Winkerbean only with more cucking.

Be honest OP, you're a 70 year old woman, aren't you?

Mary Worth was one of those things like Sally Forth and Mark Trail that I'd heard of but never actually read, but these were actually really decent. The art's pretty good and the writing is enjoyable soap opera schlock. The comic strip format does it a huge disservice though. I couldn't imagine reading fucking two panels a day until that sweet Sunday goodness.


and (presumably) less AIDS.

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I am a virile young man.

Do people do cheers with muffins?

This is the good wholesome shit I like
Except the cucking

I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ALDO.

I WATCHED YOU DIE.

WHY HAVE YOU RETURNED?

People do cheers with pretty much every type of food consumable. Do they not where you're from?

Is that Captain Kangaroo?

It's a shame we won't be covering that, or the guy who bakes a cake with her on top.

Why can't I stop fucking reading this?

Come on, look at that guy. He's exactly the kind of fag that would do cheers with a muffin.


What? You can't just drop shit like that without context was it an erotic cake?

Mary Worth, who has been in her late sixties since the 1920s, has a habit of attracting male hangers on and stalkers. The most recent and catastrophic is Aldo, pictured here , which lead to a drunken DUI suicide following a severe bullying/intervention by strangers.

The cake incident is in one of the Mary Worth in New York plots, where she meats Hillary Clinton's publicist and a fat man who falls in love with her and enters into a celebrity cake baking contest with her. At the top he puts a small mary worth, because she is so great. They are heckled by the crowd, because as you know cake baking contest crowds are notorious rowdy.

Having failed to enter into an unhealthily co-dependant relationship with his ex and a latino hussy, Wilbur seeks to enter one with his daughter.

This is like the Hallmark channel movie of comics and is just as addicting and unintentionally? funny.

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So wait, he wants to fuck Dawn?

WHY WON'T THE MUFFINS RECTIFY THIS?!?!?!

NEW ARC! WILL IT FEATURE CUCKING? Yes.

The Wilbur stalk vs The Zak play.

When will she finally join the MCU?

Wilbur's going to end himself in some spectacular fashion. isn't he?


Will she be young and hot like Aunt May?

By muffin.

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Wilbur and Mary made a pact that when he kills himself, she's to grind him up and make him into muffins. Those muffins are then to be sent to Iris, so he can be inside her one last time.

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I demand you storytime this.

Wouldn't you?

Well that's depressing.

no

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HA HA TIME FOR CUCKING

We'll do that when we're caught up.

I don't trust Ted, he smiles too much. I think he's going to intentionally lead Mary down a series of bad financial roads until she's bankrupt. Then he swoops in and is all "Listen, I feel just awful about this, Mary. I'll help you get back on your feet again, no charge. All I ask is to get a nice good taste of your- muffins."

I don't know if there is anything more obvious of a scam than "I'll take care of all the work, you just need to provide the initial investment…"

Ted is a wanted rapist.

Is it rape if you want the rapist?

I already hate Ted. He's a pushy faggot.

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Yeah, it's sounding more and more like Mary's going to become a courtesan or something.

Getting a bad vibe from Ted

RAPE!!!

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Ted is the Zodiac killer.

I would like to stick my penis in Mary's moist muffins. Her actual muffins, though. Not her vagina.

She keeps her muffins in her vagina, user.
Why do you think they're moist?

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Seems like a good way to get yeast infection.

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"Being raped."

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This looks like an edit.

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Finally, raping time is here.

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Holy shit Dick Tracy is still a thing. My local newspaper doesn't have any cool strips like that.