Valerian.and.the.City.of.a.Thousand.Planets.2017.720p.KORSUB.HDRip.x264.AAC2.0-STUTTERSHIT

more like Reddith Element

If you liked The Fifth Element, you'll hate Valerian. If you hated Fifth Element, you'll also hate Valerian.

Was it kino?

It's always nice to see Anons who understand how things work participate in threads.

It's way worse. 5th element has a lot of camp and comedy to it, but Valerian is a mess.

The above is from ew, but the actor's performances were awful. They had zero chemistry and looked like they didn't want to be there most of the time. Rihanna's dance scene was pointless and she doesn't even serve a purpose like Tucker's character from 5th element. Besson is a hack as well. I'm pretty confident that he got lucky with Leon and 5th element and the actors carried it to the finish line themselves.

I would watch it because I am a big fan of Cara. The problem is the only version I have found was a cam looped version.

Ruby Rod could have saved this disaster if he'd been a lead character.

its worse you dumb fuck

What

Paid a good 20 to see this in one of those premium theatres, and it was fun.

It was campy, cheesy, and very reminiscent of Euro science fantasy of the 20th century. It was like every science fiction movie, comic, series, or game you've ever played, rolled into one. It's like one of those blockbusters of the 90s and early 2000s that used every trick in the book and was relentless with style and technology simply because they can. It gets surprisingly political in the third act, and whether if it's pozzed or not, it clashes serious topics with a world that doesn't take itself seriously. It may annoy a lot of people, but it only kept me engaged. It bravely acknowledged the rational motives behind the antagonist, even if it was spelled out by his expository dialogue, but it's still something big movies like this hardly ever do, I feel.

So watch it if you're interested, or pirate it if it makes you feel safer to not fund your enemies.

The only good thing about this film seems to be Dane DeHaan - everything else looks like absolute shit.

Dane is apparently shit in it too

You are the least useless poster on this board torrent guy

Is it just me or do the two leads have faces that scream "I'm an asshole"?

Idunno 'bout that, but they both seem like they haven't slept in days.

I can relate tbh.

I've seem worse. It wasn't terrible. You want a disappointing as fuck space movie, watch Passangers.

Nobody who isn't a stunted brain manlet has any issues with 5th Element. The movie was fantastic. Although I will say that her little freak-out after the cruise assault and reading a little wikipedia felt like it came from nowhere. There was no set-up for it. She was clearly a fighter, she openly killed some guys, but all of a sudden omg humans are bad maybe???!? Come on, movie.

Which, btw, makes no sense because she wasn't even human, was she? She was technically an alien, a creation of those fat armored guys, right? They never explicitly stated what she was, only that she was a weapon to defeat evil. What does she care? Maybe a twist could've been that she saw humanity being just as evil as planet Satan, and Bruce had to chase her down before she blew everything the fuck up instead of her having a little cry?

She got hit by Zorg and his supergun. I don’t think she’d ever been that badly hurt, and it made her question shit.

It was still shit. His rationale was "If I don't genocide this planet of savages, humans get a great depression". Just rational enough to be a "deep" villain, but retarded enough to push the diversity poz and muh six million. It should have been "i had to choose if this race of savages is genocided or the human race, so I chose humans", suddenly his motivation makes sense. The diversity message was more important, and his motivation needed to be strawmanned so the retard "muh love" logic would make sense.

Its Avatar and Jupiter Ascending mashed together but never really working.
Super happy primitives living idealized life get rekt by white privilege.
Mary Sue couple look like they were grown in vats from the Klein/Faberge/Vogue labs.
Shed a tear for Rhianna moment.
"I honestly do not give a fuck about these characters anymore" moment.

It would have been awesome as a netflix series. The characters could have been given some depth instead of being cardboard cutouts.
As a movie its more like a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, fun at the beginning but just a bowl of mush and empty calories at the end.

The 5th Element is still fun to watch.

((6 MILLION))

Big Market was pretty sweet.
The fuck were those duck Yoda's… Why

Look again, there are hdrips up now

She was supposed to have huge tits in the comic.

Unwatchable, reddit-tier garbage. You can tell the kikes grabbed these two and said, "Here, yous two wear these wacky clothes and say this shit. We'll fill the rest in with computers."

At about thirty minutes, I didn't even know what was happening or why any more. At an hour I shut it off and deleted it.

ret

I went in hoping for the chance of seeing something as remotely decent as 5th Element. Instead I get generic bullshit, an inaccurate adaptation, a mediocre plot, lazy acting, mandatory current year prop, and a dull and unimaginative soundtrack. The special effects were okay I guess.

It's even worse than Jupiter Ascending.

Which is sad, because it didn't need to be that bad.

I don't believe you.

Save your time and watch Rick and Morty instead. (Don't pirate though, guys… it really hurts the artists tbqh)

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Besson is a great idea man with his visual antics, but the man himself is a complete mess of a director in regards of plot, pacing and consistency
Leon and 5th are utter shit, and shameful works taking into account they ripped the shit out of plenty of movies, namely Stargate, Blade Runner and Le Samurai

Visually he's great, i cannot deny his palpable style in Angel-A and La Femme Nikita, but he's industrial grade hack. Should've stayed as assistant director or cinematographer

This movie was great and I have no Idea why it failed. It had a few critical flaws, but they were only flaws to me, and not nearly enough to kill it. That being said, it's not exactly kino.

Blade Runner 2 when?

Having physical objects to interact does help to do a lot of acting since you can be more immersed in your surroundings, but we've still seen people like Bob Hoskins that did fantastic fucking work even when working around a bunch of green screen stuff.

I would blame getting inexperienced kids for the roles who haven't had to do a lot of stage acting where you don't necessarily have a ton of props to work with around you.

why do they keep casting Cara Delevigne? She's almost as sigusting as Lena Dunham to me. Are there really people retarded enough to fall for some meme that she's pretty or has a "quirky" personality?
She ruins this movie. It was nothing that great to begin with but she's the only negative the movie has (unless the pro refugee message triggers your autism)

She's aesthetic as fuck. If I was a Lucas tier director I'd want her in my films simply because she'd make the shots she was in prettier.

They both have those faces that seem absolutely punchable

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Reported.

The "anime" and comic are good, but the movie was horrendous.

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I can dream.

This shit would have been amazing if they didn't make the worse possible choice while casting the main leads. What the FUCK were they thinking? Cara carries DeHaan in every scene and then you have Clive Owen having the best acting skills on set who then carries the two main leads during scenes together.

Overall, movie is fun/10 and has some neat stuff, but you will have to suffer through the acting in most scenes. If you think Fifth Element is an 8, this is a 6.

P.S. I unironically like the 5th element in case you haven't figured that out.

I liked Cara in this tbh.

The visuals are stunning but the plot is really weak.
I liked Dane DeHaan on Spiderman and Chronicles but he was not the good choice in this film. Cara was really good though.

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Urge to impregnate and breed is rising…

You can't impregnate someone born without ovaries. If delivigne has any they are shrivelled and non-functioning, how else would you explain the tiny, malformed, horribly pathetic breasts and gross -even by British standards- teeth?

Exactly my type of body.
♥

Was this a conspiracy to make white people look ugly or something?

Its so bad its not even worth it to torrent and watch if you have nothing else to do

you already came out spacey, no need to pretend anymore

Oh God, if she was my gf, I would make her shave her pussy bald as RP her as a little girl

How could you even get hard for this unless you were either a pedo or secretly gay?

Nonsense, it was okay but slightly pozzed. Visuals were great.

My type of girl and personality.

I want to lick her

leon is great you dumb nigger animal

Nikita is kino as well.

The Fifth Element is also very fun. Peak Bruce Willis and Milla Jovovich and while not his best performance Ian Holm was good in it too. Gary Oldman also plays the villains great in both Leon and in the The Fifth Element.

Lots of practical stuff and fun action scenes. Gorgeous visual designs and a fast moving plot. What more could you wish for in a film like it? Obviously not kino which Leon was bordering on but so what?

no stone? no guns!

ZERO CRATES

It's amateur hour garbage, intense exposition and overlong scenes. The leads both look like druggies and don't care about anyone around them. Rihanna is forced in the movie solely to kiss her ass then promptly exits, nothing makes sense and they have such specific tools for every situation I half expected to see shark repellent.

It's a terrible fucking movie.

>(((six million))) pearls killed via global destruction

these were my complaints with it. otherwise solid campy sci-fi flick.

Lowbrain, I couldn't watch more than 15 min of it. It was trash.

Yep

No fam it's shit all around visuals included because everything else doesnt matter nor is there good direction of this shitfest.

that beginning montage was kino, and you know it.

the credits sequence was terrible

(heil'd)

wrong, plain and simple.

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Nah it was directed like tv show tier amateur hour for sure.

okay sven, it's time for you to stop posting.