Stupid Weapon Designs

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yeah just like Heelys are the lightsaber of shoes

Cease spamming this image everywhere, you whore for attention.

Yes, so stupid that is must work!

Why not have a little motor inside of it that vibrates the blade? Just as effective, a hell of a lot more efficient, quieter, etc.

I've only posted it in this thread, you whore for my cum.

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A weapon to surpass metal gear

The vibrations make it like a chainsaw! Despite chainsaw swords already existing in FFVIII.

Despite that, even in universe it's considered an overly-complex weapon few willingly use.

Now this is a good ridiculous weapon. I kind of want it on a poster to hang above my desk.

Gunblades don't shoot bullets.
Basically the "bullet" makes the blade vibrate and there's also fire magic involved, so it's essentially supeheating the blade to make it do more damage.
I guess the best way to explain it is that it functions like an even more bullshit fantasy version of the H.F. Blades from the MGS universe.

Sam's Katana is a slightly less retarded version of the Gunblade.

I think what you guys are trying to say is it shoots blanks, right?

DARPA is really going all out

Come at me bro

Basically every weebshit design out there

It "shoots" magic.

I'm laughing like a fucking idiot over here.

I don't know how to describe it, they're not blanks, they're like magic bullets or some shit.
They do use actual bullets but they're not projectiles.
These are all details i remember from looking into it years ago, frankly square never really went too in depth about how they would actually work, they can retcon it at any time and i doubt anyone would give a fuck.
Hell there's been "semi" gunblades later on in the series that work nothing like the ones in FF8 so not even square themselves care in the end.

I think it's really hard to explain to younger people why gunblades used to be cool, even if they were retarded.
FF8 was aimed at a very specific audience at the time, mostly people that were still in school and could relate with the whole garden situation and student drama.

It's very much a product of it's time and no other audience will be able to relate to it now.

JUST

That last one, what the fuck is that?

Your weapon doesn't even have balls

The X-Blade.
That's pronounced "kai-blade", by the way.

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WHAT THE FUCK?

About that user…

Wasn't that Riku's sword before he stole your keyblade? You can even see it in the keyblade he uses later, with the gay little wing on it.

Well it's not really a keyblade it's a weapon manifest from Riku's darkness.

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It's retarded, even for KH standards.

Yeah, I was 11 or 12 when I first played FF VIII. I live in Yurop and we didn't have that many story-heavy RPGs for the SNES (FF IV, VI and Chrono Trigger were never localized), so FF VIII was the first game with a massive focus on story and dialogue I was exposed to.

I really identified with Squall and I used to fantasize about attending the Garden, become a SEED and fuck Quistis. I thought the plot was brilliant (including the love story) and it used to be my favourite game for years.

I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone who has never played it, though. Experiencing the plot for the first time as an adult must be extremely cringeworthy and the gameplay is broken as fuck.
I can still enjoy it because of nostalgia and the game mechanics are fun to break if you know what you're doing.
Oh, and Triple Triad is possibly the best minigame in any videogame.

Originally, in KH1, keyblades were simply manifestations of one's determination and force of will.

They didn't even give a fuck if you were evil or good, they served the person that had the strongest determination.

However this has gradually been ruined in the series until the final blow in BBS, where anyone can use the fucking things and you can do "training" to "learn" how to use them like they're any other weapon.

Once again what starts as a somewhat interesting idea gets fucked because muh plot device by square.

Guess where you're supposed to grab it at.

Best blade

By the blade? I hope I'm wrong

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Damn nigga school me harder. But yea I just play the games for the music and disney characters, overall story's really fucked

actually whats wrong with two blades in one hand

Goddammit, that's just borderline retarded.

With 2 blades in one hand you barely can cut nigga.

You're distributing the force along a greater area.

twice as heavy, twice as much resistance when cutting/ slashing

also gay as fuck

are you telling me that two blades is worse than a blade that's slightly thicker

You could use THREE instead.
On BOTH hands.

yeah

Two blades that are that close together? Yes. That's what I'm saying.

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How the fuck is he holding all 3 swords in your first picture?

Yup, try it out yourself. Get two knifes and slash and apple or something, then get one thicker knife and slash it.

by the pure power of refined autism

Nah. In KH1 the Keyblade(singular) was the legendary weapon for the chosen one(Riku) but since he succumbed to darkness it went to the closest available replacement(Sora). But since the Keyblade was Riku's he could take it from Sora whenever he wanted. Until Sora proved he had the stronger heart.

It was always a physical weapon, never a manifestation of will. Mickey had to travel to the realm of darkness to find the Keyblade(again, singular) of that realm. Of course, they DID retcon the Keyblades in KH to be just two of many others.

i can tell from your post you never had sex in your life

His right elbow is completely dislocated in that first picture.

BECAUSE HE IS DATE MASAMUNE MOTHER FUCKER

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Don't forget: almost impossible to sharpen and clean since one blade will always get in the way, grinding and polishing stones need room to work.

Also trying to thrust through a gap in armor with two points spaced an inch apart would be comedy.

Why even use katanas? Why don't you just have him use claws at that point?

I still want Zimmerman's auctioned Dindu Defender™ more than this.

Well, if one katana is cool, then six katanas have to be at least, like… twelve times as cool.

Basara has no use for your puny real life logic, the only rule it follows is the rule of cool.
Here, have an ancient japanese gundam.

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If you think about it, Keyblades are just really ornate hatchets/hand-axes.

arse

are you sure about that?

More like clubs

No one uses the key bit to fight

If it's stupid but works, then it isn't stupid.

How does that shit works?
How can you stab whit that?
How doesn't the swords get stuck with each other?

It doesn't

Katana's are superior to the knights sword, anyone who has ever used a sword knows this

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Have you ever weilded a katana folded 100 times over? I have, it can easily cut through a western blade. I've seen my sensei do so.

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You've never used a katana, you wouldn't know.

Hey guise, what's going on in this thread

you can start by having sex with me

nerd

I like Darkwatch too.

ebin

Katanas are made for slicing, but if they get hit at the wrong angle, they can get fucked. A broadsword is far better for sword fighting, and a similarly refined broadsword could break the katana since you're basically just using a huge metal bat with an edge.

These fags don't even know that every katana is made with the spirits of 108 oni. They can never understand how sharp it is.

Do not invoke the wrath of Western Poster user

how do you

Longswords are the medieval swiss army knives that can be turned into anti-tank rpgs in a pinch. It's insanely versatile. Some pay2win faglord tries to fuck around in his suit of armor? Pommel that bitch.

And then there is this little thing for slicing, Vlad the Implier used it as well.

That reminds me of these

{Deus Vults internally}

Wow user, you clearly lack the understanding of a true samurai. If the katana is folded hard enough then the western "broadsword" will just break. This is common knowledge user, actually use a katana.

Suck on these genitals gaijin

I see not but an eunuch

Your genitals are long past pigs food into some sheparding Turk's field, knave.

I guess you didn't like it.

That's forbidden love, user.

Fuckin' sick.

It's not often that I'm impressed by autism, but this is a truly impressive case.

Fuck you, I'm 37 years old. I have used over a 1000 blades you havent even used one

Say it isn't so, friend!

The only good Turk is a dead Turk

what are you talking about?
Vlad is THE Kebab remover

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I refuse to believe this is anything but bait

It could be a joke

A beaner's garage made machete is made of better steel than a katana.

Vlad was a fucking badass man.

Second best cursed sword

I think this is one of those fabled "jokes" I've been hearing about

Oh, the song and the picture was kinda weird so I didn't get the message.

Completely agree, I mean, he was kind of nuts but he treated everyone equally… at least when it came to punishing.

Man, Holla Forums has truly lost it's sense of humor.
Stupid edgy pompous self obsessed perma serious fucks.

Behold, the true "power" that is the katana.

Which one?

Any one of them

Katana can 1 v 1 them and win every time

It's quite amusing to see half the thread talking about weapons and the other basically becoming a playground pissing contest.

Welcome to Holla Forums

b-b-b-but it made a dent on the sword! checkmate atheists!!

Beautiful

Wouldn't that kind of work? the mechanical bit would be a bit iffy. but if the round mag feeds the "internal" mag of the shotgun (the tube under the barrel) it could maybe be feasible

hahahaha you kids never cut with a real blade. Come back when you've used a katana

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I like guns with spikes on them.

on TF2 you still need to load the gun every time you shoot, it stores like 4 shells and then you can release them in rapid succession.

Katana > bullets tbh fam.

There is a reason why samurai existed all the way until 1886

Here's what I think of your katana.

This whole thread makes me wonder if a large portion of the posters actually do have autism.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke

Read up, spectrum boys. For real though, you probably have autism so get that checked out.

No wonder the Nips are losing World War 3.

Katanas are shit. Western knights fold themselves over over ten million times to become the hardest motherfuckers on the planet.

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i know this is bait but

not all japanese blades were laminated (folded)
the average No. of "folds" is 7 to 12
the most number of folds ever recorded is 18

the strongest blades japan ever made were the milled steel factory blades made during WW2 not the laminated crap of the past

Europe produced blades of better quality for hundreds of years before the first katanas ever appeared

European blade were stronger by design and quality
European blades were lighter when compared to katanas of equal length

a katana is nothing more than a pretty looking overly heavy and brittle cavalry saber

That's actually pretty close to truth, but still

Well just use the katana to parry all the bullets.

You only need to fold yourself one time to suck your own dick m8.

The one that lets you carry a shield in the other hand. No sword is complete without a board imo.

my sides have been folded 1000 times over. good job m8.

0/10, at least actually cum on it.

emptying a toaster strudel icing and then taking a picture with your dick doesn't count bro

I know cum when I see it and that is not. You couldn't actually bring yourself to jerk off to/on a sword, could you?

Either you've got some dangerously funky looking jizz, or that's fake.

Step your game, mongrel

He hasn't been to /k/

FUCKING FAGGOT CASUAL
/k/ WOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOU

You disgrace the good name of the samurai.

What? It makes the best sense.

Also the barrels rotate.

Heard u was talking shit like we wouldn't find out

I prefer guns that shoot spikes

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Get rekt horsefucker

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Oh, you're that faggot.

Hey, I drink a lot of milk. I didn't come here to have my jizz rated, I have other boards for that.

smh fam

lets see how well your horse runs over a field of these fuckers

Also if we're talking guns i'm amazed this hasn't popped up yet.

dude come on the spray pattern isn't even right. It's like you squeezed it out of a cake icing bag.

And a ching chong nip nong to you too, sir.

Wasn't that picture from the faggot on /k/ who NEVER SHUTS THE FUCK UP about his furry dildos?
I hated that cunt.

yeah. they were fucking retarded in the middle ages?

ye

That looks like it would break the second it hit something.

Wew, memes are cyclical

Fine, be that way. /cuteboys/ love my cum.

The samurai learns to master the blade, to the point of even killing the swallow. But only an Asian swallow. Maybe an African swallow. Against a European swallow, this technique is useless. The European knight, much like the swallows of his land, is much stronger.

Even the Nips understand this, and attempt to accurately portray the uselessness of the katana in their media.

Disgusting/10

Poor effort, try again.

y

Well, there was a thread not so long ago on /k/ about some guy proposing to fill shotgun cartridges with bees.

That guy really should shoot himself with one of his guns sometime.

We need a weeb genocide.

I thought it was party confetti

/k/ is a magical place.

Either you've got some dangerously funky looking jizz, or that's fake.

That was another thread.

I couldn't even relate to it and I was the target audience.

I guess because I'm not an emo faggot who blames all my problems on someone else while wallowing in self pity…

… it would probably do much better with today's youth then any other generation. Just need gender fluids and hair dye customization

Didn't save the chinese nor the middle east nor russia nor poland

They love your bum, fuckboi

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Not exactly dumb, but really impractical

They clearly unfolded the katana first

Is this a dream gun thread?

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I want this in a game.

ANCIENT NIPPON CHRISTIAN CHAINSAWS

Have you ever used a chainsaw? Swinging a long one like a sword would do a hell of a lot of damage.

That third one has been implemented.

And yet that was where it ended.

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Bubba what are you doing??

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Goddamn that show looks ugly. They try to hide the fact that the fingers do nothing by spinning it fast enough, but it still looks like shit.

Arr M16 rook same.

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Looks like a mash up between a FAL, an AN-94 and an AR-15

I mean, the spearpoint doesn't even extend from anything, you just see it appear out of nowhere like some pop in textures in a game.

I wonder why do samurai learn to sheathe their swords without looking?

I mean why would you sheath your sword if you don't know it's safe to. It's pretty counter intuitive.

If you've never played MGS, the gimmick of the Patriot is that it doesn't run out of bullets.
Ever.
Something happens inside the ∞ feed mechanism that gives it infinite ammo.

it's the only way to get pussy, pleb.

Stylish as fug?

Maybe for spatial awareness.

Police do the same thing except with guns.

I think its less of a battle technique and more of not looking like a dumbass while you stand there for a minute trying to get the sword and scabbard to line up while your buddy has already effortlessly sheathed it and walked off

Generally speaking it's actually not that hard to sheathe a katana without looking, that's why you see many people do it like that.
All they do is use the non sharp part and run it on the edge of the scabbard until they reach the point, and then they move the point inside the scabbard itself and then it just slides right in.
You really don't need to look to do it, it's not sharp on both sides like a western sword would be.

I unironically wish I was as cool as this guy.

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Sure.

I can't believe nobody posted this yet.

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It never fails.

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Look at his autist face man, you know he's a sub-70 IQ sub-human.

Also, you could hear from the first strike that the sword wouldn't hold. Moreover, that was a stainless steel piece of shit, why the hell would you ever try to cut anything with a stainless steel sword? Anything longer than a butterknife is dangerous as fuck.

Hey man, I'd like to see you not stutter in front of a news camera.

Quit projecting, I know you stutter to everyone you speak to, including your mom, but even half-competent people know how to speak clearly and make eye-contact.

I bet you don't even know how to shake hands properly.

This is a fair point, but I also wouldn't want to emulate Mr. Edgelord there

Fun fact: Imperial Spies in Demon's Souls use that weapon in the middle of the third image you posted.
The game simply calls it the "Secret Throwing Dagger".

it wasnt stainless steel, it was a $5000 katana, thats why slitty eyes was so pissed

it broke because the autistic fucker chopped instead of slicing through the bamboo, no technique at all

Everything except that one khopesh looks fucking terrible..

Isn't the point of Keyblades just magic and stuff? like Zanpakutous or whatever the Bleach blades were called.

They look ridiculous because they have magic powers or some shit like that.

You mean a hunga munga? Also known as the penis sword, since it's african and they add phallic imagery to the blades.

I was actually a theatre actor, but you can keep trying if you want.

Fucking pathetic. What use is a sword if all it can do is slash.

Is that what they call being in pre-school plays nowadays?

I bet your mom was really proud of you.

You

Why are you bullying

Reminds me of that one guy from Katanagatari who had a katana made out of glass or some shit, that only worked because he was good enough to never put any pressure on the blade.

The sword got wrecked when later another user couldn't do that and the opponent took a step forward and the sword shattered on impact.

What am I even supposed to say to that?

disembowling yourself and cutting peasant bitches

Because I am a man of refined tastes.

thats why they are so shit, the traditional made katanas are brittle as fuck,

poor quality steel mixed with forge welding different hardness steels together

How, exactly, do you cut through boulders without any pressure?

It really is the worst sword ever.

NIPPON YAMATO DAMASHII

Also, there's one katana that's a pari of hand guns.

Is that sword… armor?
What the fuck?

id play a game like that

I suppose you maul people with with, like some club.

What the fuck

I worked as a bouncer, talking shit and being audacious as fuck is the best way to control people.

Tho seriously, an actor? Like Shakespeare plays? I have literally never seen a play since kindergarten. Anything you would recommend?

Tell my sides goodbye

I hope you know that talking tough shit around here isn't really gonna work like it does in real life.
And yeah, I've done some Shakespeare. Best play I've ever seen in my life, though? The Lion King Musical. Swear to god, it was like a religious experience.

and where are they now?

It's a small thing, but I always liked the guns from BL1 better. They weren't great, they were that "Modern-gun-with-futuristic-doodads-glued-on" kind of uninspired design, but holy shit at least they didn't look like a bunch of WoW/korean MMO rejects.

It's actually a really good show. It's by one of the few authors in Nipland who actually knows how to write a story.

If you do decide to watch it, be sure to go all the way through, the last two eps are really the meat of the story.

Dead

Along with Knights, Vikings, Samurai, Legionaries, and any conceivable form of pre-gun powder warriors.

Doesn't change the fact that if you're looking for the hardest mother fuckers on the planet, you'll be looking for the mongolians.

That's what they told me about Evangelion.

Those designs actually look good and practical.

I think I know shit about weapons, because I find that last one fucking sick.

Well, if it worked for duelists in spain with the Navaja, why not?

It does work, if you know how to keep switching their expectations. They try to be confrontational, make them laugh. They try to bargain, scare the shit out of then. They try to resist, talk shop and distract them and then when they're outside ignore the fuck out of them.

Attack through the line of least resistance, and all that jazz.

Actually, there is only 1 keyblade, the kingdom key.

Sora changes the propeties of his kingdom key via changing the keychain on it's hilt.

All keyblades are just knockoffs of the kingdom key that hold similar properties, such as choosing their user, or in most cases havign to have a user master it's usage in order for that whole you can't take my keyblade off of me crap/insta equip.

Some keyblades are manifestations of people's shit, like Kairi's keychain which extended to roxas via him doing the division net gain with with xion, and the key to unlock the Dtd that needed the princesses of heart asleep for.

the closest anyone ever got to the kingdom key replica is xehanorts keyblade.

its not even a case of it being the best they could manage

early japanese steel swords were straight double edged blades of fairly decent quality

Well Eva is good because Anno is a great visual director and he really, really read a pop psych book before he got to working.

Katanagatari is good because in the last episode Shichika fucks everyone up and bitchslaps a castle.

the main character is a sword.

it's either a metaphor or a metaphor turned literal.

as in like a forged weapon, artificial human, etc. That's my guess.

Like how you can refer to a weapon designed to kill a king a Sword of Damocles, despite it being a simple poison or political tactic.

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no matter how hard you are, you can't deflect bullets.

Finally! Found my chainsaw katana pic. Been looking for it for ages.

Here, I found this one too.

The only thing bad about chainswords is how they are shown in official art. The teeth are the wrong size and shape to do what they are suppose to do.

Well, first navajas were more or less like that. Little swords hidden under your clothes to duel in a country where duels were outlawn because it caused too many deaths.

There's also two guns which are considered a sword, a robot which is considered a sword, a sheath that's considered a sword, and a human (holding no weapons at all) that's considered a sword. It's not supposed to make sense.

Don't forget the thousand normal swords that count as one sword.

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Aren't they like those bleach crap that transforms when using?

Not that I remember.

The thousand sword doesn't even have any way of holding all the swords, so they're just hidden everywhere or stuck to the ground.

The do not only look like shit, they are also quite bad in game.

Well magic in VIII comes in units, which has some standard of measurement. What's to say he doesn't load them in like bullets?

Someone post those .50 cal ork shoota looking guns some African militia or something was using

Now that is kinda retarded yet slightly cool. I thought they became like that because they have special powers, like that bandage sword that turns you into a zombie or the inmortality sword.

And I guess the person sword is the protagonist?

… Now that sounds cool

Do you mean the straight blowback .50 bmg that some huestani threw together?

Yes
And the swords do have special "properties" like being unbreakable, or being able to cut through anything.

Maybe. I just remember the picture, not any of the details behind it

Nope.

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Basara, and no mention of the incredible Swiss Army weapon?

Soul Eater did it COOLER though

I think i know the one, but dont have it saved. It usually gets posted on /k/ in the improvised weapons threads.

Kek.

Nah, most of the swords are fairly normal, if not really sword-ish. It's basic Nisio fuckery, if you're familiar with him.

Though this is one of the early fights, for example.

What?

Eh, Soul Eater is too shounen for my tastes.

I dare you motherfuckers to find ONE thing that is not completely stupid on this picture.

The worst part is that I can't find a good video of their second fight against each other because that's when the cool shit happens.

Found it. Made by hues, not dindus

Hey, I knew it. Thanks man.
And if you don't know, that thing is liable to kill the user rather than the target.

Still get shivers.

I'm just happy Ork shootas were a thing in my lifetime

At least post the whole thing

It's a four leaf clover bro

Posted a webm of the interview already.

They actually ran over Hungarian castles… using nothing but a scouting force.

Europe kinda got lucky with the Mongols, because they destroyed both the Muslims and the Russian before succumbing to their own iternal bullshit.

Autist.

O-oh.

isn't that a contradiction?

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Nah, brah. The swords in Katanagatari are metaphorical swords, so it's totally legit. Except they're literal swords, too, but it's still totally legit.

They had no Motivation

Just watch

Nuggu Samurai didn't use their swords once they got guns. Samurai were just a bunch of feudal lord assholes.

I love you, man.

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craftsmanship of the highest quality

Not sure if the last two are Brazilian, or from Metro 2033.

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Besiege: Modern Warfare Edition

Theater isn't the same as cinema tho.

My mentor used to say a scenary was like a magnifying glass, if you needed to convey a feeling you have to exhagerate your movement, because subtle actions are rarely seen. This is not true with a camera, so you have to be a lot more aware of what you're doing at all times.

Did someone say besiege?

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You and what army?

愚かな脂肪アメリカ、日本鋼は、すべてあなたの薄っぺらなアメリカン弾丸を打ち負かす、千回を折られました！あなたのコルト拳銃は輝かしい日本の刀を打ち負かすことはできません！数独b0ssをコミットしてください。

youtu.be/K1IyXgM01Vs?t=320

So the person getting shot at still gets hit, but it's by 2 bullets instead of one.

Ain't it funny how the Mongol Empire dissolved right around the time Europeans started using gunpowder?

This scene loses a ton of its impact when you remove the conversation between Shichika and the princess.

You fiend.

This preview and subsequent episode made me fucking mad they didn't show the fight at all. Years later after I watched it and I'm still fucking salty.

It shoots incendiary rounds comparable to real life 12 gauge "dragonsbreath" rounds. FFVIII used the Timed Hits mechanic of Super Mario RPG, but mapped to the R2 button. The idea was that you were pulling the trigger and dousing your enemy in lit fuel while rocket-propelling your sword through them.

That's why the critical hit visual effect is a fireball.

That model is from a recent game that didn't get the licensing to use real guns.

Originally it was an M-16 with the barrel cut to two inches, the rifling filed out, and the stock removed for a pistol grip. It lets its rounds tumble in flight, turning the automatic rifle into a close-quarters "fuck your shit" SMG-proxy firing 5.56. The game calls out that the recoil on that would be bullshit, and it's a testament to the soldier who it was designed for/used it.

The double drum magazine evokes an infinity sign, and its the endgame Infinity +1 weapon that never runs out of ammo.

You know who else was using gunpowder?

The chinese.

This swords were forged with the same modern technic and modern steel quality, of course the heavier sword will win.
If you use steel quality and technic from their respective time, katana > western sword.

quality of european swords have always been vastly superior to the swords produced in japan

europe was producing better quality swords hundreds of years before the katana ever came into existance