Polygon's attempt at FPS

Much lols to be had

u.teknik.io/Q6wEK.webm.

Other urls found in this thread:

thefirearmblog.com/blog/2016/04/20/gun-control-101/
archive.is/yW9rO
archive.is/n7M1H
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

These people review video games. Wow.

I don't play FPSs even I'm not this bad.

now this is podracing

How uncoordinated can you possibly get

Game is pitiful, they are pitiful.

I knew the people at polygon don't like playing video game and use them as a springboard to talk about themselves, but I didn't think they were this awful and uncoordinated.

missed one

Probably playing on the easiest difficulty setting. Didn't stop him from dying lol.

Why do these people even REVIEW games if they clearly DONT PLAY

I can't watch anymore than three minutes of this, Jesus fuck.
I had to stop at 03:10.

I made it to 8 minutes in. Everything about this is awful, from the pacing to the guns, to the failure at trying to be edgy, to the person playing it. I want those 8 minutes back.

...

Reminder that this is what leftists think of guns

Daily reminder you cant play a fps without being pro gun.

Most anti gunners never shot a gun irl. Give a anti gunner a gun with proper shooting and exploding targets and they will have fun.

of all the things pick up on that retard this is not the one.

The same reason hipsters don't like vidya, is the same reason your grandmother doesn't like them.

Either they lack the basic cognitive skills needed to understand and constantly understand the controls and mechanics, or they look down on the medium in the first place, crippling their will to ever improve or learn.


The guy or gal who's playing this can barely even put the crosshair over the enemy, let alone fire before the enemy moves. Tell me Holla Forums how much would you like vidya if you were this fucking horrible at it?

...

then i would be the kind of guy who likes rhythm games, because that's all i'm good at

he sounds so annoying

I don't really give a shit on what platform people choose to play their games, but I just don't get playing an FPS with a controller.
And since we're on the subject of DOOM, I caught about half an hour of TB's DOOM stream last night and I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Of course I'm not expecting this new DOOM to have the impact the old DOOM had on the market (bigger install base than Windows), but last night I realized a couple of things.
Firstly the game moves almost as fast as I would like it to move. Just a small increase in speed and I think it would hit that classic DOOM sweet-spot. But that's all the praise on I can give the game.

The fact that the first types of enemies don't instantly die from a shotgun to the face at close range completely ruins the rhythm of the game. And speaking of rhythm on TB's stream last night, after about 15 minutes of running and gunning the game forced him into a small room to spout some exposition no one fucking cared about for about 3 to 4 minutes completely killing the game's flow.
Unfortunately the core formula of the FPS has been tainted so much I'm don't have much hope for future titles in the genre.
Classic DOOM is still the best FPS ever made, sure System Shock 2 may have the story and STALKER SoC has the best atmosphere, but when it come to the core of the FPS there none better than DOOM.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

what a fucking joke they are

Why does he talk like he's having a stroke every time he ends a sentence?

ouch

I don't know whether to laugh at his incompetence or get angry at the amount of shit that's coming out of his mouth.

gee i wonder why

I come from England, land of the no-guns and even I think this guy is a faggot. Guns are cool as shit.

no one cares about your opinion on the game. We are here to talk about how polygon is bad at video games.

wait a sec, ive already seen it somewhere

...

who was playing?

Probably this faggot;

I bet my fucking gram would be better at this
That's just embarrassing

It looks even worse than I expected.
And they play like they're one-armed with a Nintendo 64 controller.

i think even DSP would be better at this

...

Because he has PTSD from those evil loud guns, don't be so insensitive.

I started trying to watch this. I had to shut this off. What the fuck is this guy babbling about? Is this a game review? Why is he talking about his childhood (which is probably all lies) and babbling about how he doesn't know how a fucking gun works at all?

I try not to use faggot as an insult these days (because letting that shit slip out in an office would be bad) but this guy is a complete faggot.
Someone pozz that fuck so he can die.

Hey, i'm not really pro gun because I think there are people, lots of people, who shouldn't handle a spork much less a fucking firearm (and no, a uniform doesn't determine if you should, either) but I love FPS games.
I love 80's action movies.
Guns are cool as shit.

BACK TO HALFCHAN

That was just horrible. He looks the same way people who have never played video games before do when trying to get used to using a controller or keyboard to control movement. I know people love to say game journalists don't play video games but this is just embrassing, if I was shown this video without context I would assume it's someone who hasn't played an FPS before and is trying to get the hang of it.

I'm not even going to get into how disgustingly easy the game looks but I would love to watch a livestream of this guy trying to play something like STALKER or EYE. Both games are praised for their atmosphere and story respectively and these journos love to talk about those but I bet they wouldn't even be able to play past the first area in each of them.

Somebody made a VR program that was basically an armory in a virtual space. Handle firearms, mess with the action, try out reloading, maybe shoot some targets. Kuchera, being part of the esteemed games press, was invited for a hands-on look. Naturally, being part of the clique, he chose to soapbox over how terrible guns were, even in a completely-detached, absolutely zero-danger virtual environment, rather than actually talk about the program that he'd been invited to see.

As a bonus, he managed to ND in the middle of his speech. Which, in a way, proves his point, but probably not the way he wanted to.

Doctor errors end up killing 100k's of people every year, so there is no way they can determine who is worthy of a gun.

Gaze upon it Holla Forums, this is a game reviewer playing video games.

This is the guy who impacts publisher decisions.

This is the guy who impacts what games are and aren't successful.

This is the guy the publishers want to please.

This is the guy who tells your dad what games are and aren't good.

This is the guy who tells clueless grandparents what games make good Christmas presents.

This is the guy, who wants to change your vidya.

Take a moment to think about all that.

I mean, I know these people don't play games, but this is fucking ridiculous. How the hell do their readers take their opinion on anything when they can't even play A VIDEO GAME at all? They can't even play the most basic, shittiest, watered-down crippled pieces of AAA like D44M. Games made exactly for low functioning shits, likes them. Except they do read it and Polygon is still running and we still post their shit here.

What a joke. A real sad fucking joke, that stops being funny and becomes pathetic. Its like laughing at a group of retarded children.

Unfortunately that is a symptom of modern game design.
You have to have a story.
you have to have a story.
god fucking damnit is that an arena shooter? you better find a way to put a fucking story in it!
See, the days of just drop in and start playing are gone. A little blurb of story in an instruction manual are gone.

The simple fact of the matter is that game design used to be considered in chunks. Levels, stages, boards, whatever you called them they would be singular arenas that the player would then pass and then move on to the next. In that sense, a game is like a series of puzzles. Perhaps like a rubik's cube where you solve each side before you complete the whole thing.
The exceptions to these would be RPGs and even then they still had their dungeons and such which you could conceptualize in the same way…so actually maybe not even RPGs were an exception.

These days, all game design revolves around "The Epic". The individual design of a level, of a challenge, is unimportant in the face of the presentation and reception of the story being presented. The shift is from a player feeling accomplished for finishing a challenge and feeling like they're engaged in some grand tale. That's also why there are button prompts for everything and anything these days from start to the fucking finish.

The west is busy committing cultural suicide, this is just a minor facet of that that just happens to personally effect you.

Once you stop giving a fuck about modern games, it all becomes easier. I've got a big enough backlog to last me the rest of my life. If we get one good new game a year that's fine with me.

I wonder how he still got this job. This was just him babbling about past experiences (which I don't even think are true: he's never been in a range if he didn't even know about a bullet chamber in most rifles and pistols), he never talks about the actual simulator, he's not informative, unless it was clearly stated it was an opinion piece (and even for an opinion piece, this article is subpar), it is the work of an amateur.

1/10 for effort, you get a 40% salary cut, next time, you're fired.

what a faggot

It's a sign.

Congratulations you found out you're in hell with some of the most retarded human beings to ever grace this dominion what next.

He has to be able to suck a mean dick, he's a fucking joke completely lacking in any of the skills you'd think a games "journalist" would need to have.

He plays like he's got one hand on the controller and one hand directly up his own ass.
The sad thing is he's playing on PC with a controller.

This is a man tragically convinced he's much more intelligent than he really is.

I guess it becomes a little bit difficult when you put enemies on their walking simulator.

Let me guess. Doomguy is The Chosen One whose coming was foretold by The Ancient Prophecy and he has some magical inner power that allows him to defeat The Ancient Evil that has Awoken.

Wasn't like Doom 2 all because someone killed your pet rabbit?

How so?


Seems like every other gaymes journo out there.

That, and hell was invading earth, so you immediately get back to work after exiting hell.

If by some miracle Holla Forums's "day of the rope" ever does come it won't even be satisfying removing these faggots. They're so incredibly pathetic it's actually kinda sad. It's like taking out the runt of the litter because you know it won't survive anyhow.

I think doom1 was about your dead pet rabbit

They key word is think, I know these are the skills they are looking for nowadays.

No, you only learn about Daisy's fate when you finish Doom 1.

thefirearmblog.com/blog/2016/04/20/gun-control-101/

The day of the rope is coming, but we're going to be the ones getting removed, and it'll be muslims doing the hanging.


It could just be me being really cynical, but I can't remember a time when gaymes journos weren't complete corporate sellouts, even back in the 90s when I was subbed to PC Gamer. They've gotten more ridiculous now that they've swung a hard left and put identity politics to the forefront, but they've always been shit.

That was the reason for Thy Flesh Consumed specifically. The rest prior was you just trying to survive the invasion and escape Hell.

Same reason why there are still consoles in the first place.

You know, for people who call themselves "games journalists" you'd think they would know their way around a game.
Or at leastmlooked like they played a video game at least once in their lives, Koko the ape could play this game better.

at least those corporate sellouts could actually play the games, they sold their souls so they could be close to what they love the most, these new ones never had souls to sell, they are just automatons manufactured in the bay area to push narratives and socially progressive agendas.

I'm an burger so I sincerely doubt that. Good luck with the caliphate though Europe.

What a huge faggot.

SWIMMING POOLS

We had RK 62s as a service weapons in the army and it's the only gun I've ever fired. I wouldn't describe target shooting as fun. When you get used to it, it's just you lying on the ground making small holes to a paper 150 meters away. And on top of that you have to clean your gun for 30 minutes just after firing a couple rounds. All the maintenance with oiling and cleaning is not worth it in my opinion.

I suppose we'll find out in a few hours, won't we.
I want to say he'd be better than the niggers at Polygon, but the man never ceases to amaze me with his stupidity. Even he's smart enough to realize that Polygon's full of shit every day, though.

Truly shocking, you finns can't into fun.

The army is not about having fun. Shocking.

all I got from that is his parents left loaded guns and pot around him and he turned into a pussy.

So basically he had terrible parents.

...

...

It looks like he's playing with the original doom controls (using the keyboard to turn) so he's relying more on his foot movement to aim.

thats what im going to tell myself, because nobody can be this stiff and motionless using a mouse, or even a fucking controller

Oh dear lord its like that time I watch my mother play 3D games where she would only move either the camera or the character at one time, not simultaneously.

That's actually what most console FPS players do for fine adjustments when the game doesn't feature heavy auto-aim.

It's revolting, I know.

Is this just the first time they've released a video of them actually playing the game or something?

ive been playing console FPSs since goldeneye 64. ive been playing PC FPSs since doom… i was more of a quake fan though.

i have NEVER had trouble using the analog stick to aim. even without autoaim (which is what goldeneye has)

infact i often turn off autoaim because if i aim at their head, it will pull me towards their center of mass, fucking up my shots.

i played alot of multiplayer via lan and connecting consoles together. i dont recall anyone ever using their feet to aim. and i mean… this is all i ever did in my spare time from highschool through college.

CS and quake were fun but i never knew enough people to get a local match going. trust me, this is uncommonly bad, even for complete console people.

hell, alot of the people i played with didnt even own computers. sometimes guys would let thier girlfriends learn and play… and theyd maybe be like this their first time playing, but after a few games theyd get used to the controls and adapt.

i have never seen anyone play this bad. its so frustrating watching this guy. its like watching someone use a computer that double clicks hyperlinks, and asks me "do i right click or left click" every time i tell them to click on something.

>he didn't start with doom on SNES with that bitchin' red cartridge and shitty framerate

You missed out :^)

Yeah the guy in the video is surprisingly bad, especially for someone getting paid to play videogames, but I'm honestly not surprised that someone just shits the bed like that without auto-aim.

Also for the record, Goldeneye 64 without auto-aim is fucking AIDS.

aside from the fact the guy playing this game has never played a game before…
ok, maybe this is just the intro
ok, this isnt so bad… kinda generic and slow.. but ive seen worse. its like a shitty painkiller
wtf is this portal now?
TRIGGERED

isn't it lack of aids?

holy fuck i forgot about that. i never owned it but i rented it from blockbuster. i dont remember liking it.

but for the record… i have duke nukem on game.com it was a gift, i swear

goldeneye with the view reset pissed me off to no end. whats that, aiming down a ramp with a rocket launcher waiting for enemies? NOPE! LOOK STRAIGHT AHEAD SOLDIER!

but for the time, that 4 player split screen deathmatch was fun. even if it was mediocre.

Because of you, I'm not buying Doom and telling all my friends not to buy it.

>Here, have a cutscene and some exposition. Can't have a game without an EPIC storyline, cant we? ;^)
>"WUB" A NEW ENEMY TYPE "''WUB""
Holy shit, they got everything wrong.
Is this nigger playing with WASD+arrow keys?

anyone else think the OP meant Polygon made a game and got disappointed?

Yeah, that's the gist of the problem. They try and cram a story into everything now and it's not even a decent story. Baring a few titles here and there everything is just way below mediocre. Personally I wouldn't really care if the story was shit, the fact that they stop the action for the story is what pisses me off the most. I would love it if an FPS would try to tell a story through gameplay and level design rather than trap me in a room for 5 minutes and force me to listen to some shit I don't care about.


Read my post again, and then tell me I'm shilling for the new DOOM.
Actually scratch that, read the last phrase of my post and tell me I'm shilling.

I don't remember ever seeing one of those in person (I had a gamegear and clear purple gbc), but I think I remember seeing it in a GamePro or something. That screenshot actually looks pretty amazing for a handheld.

The Gamecom's screen is ultra hard to see and it has about triple the amount of ghosting the Gameboy had.
It's nearly unplayable.

Could someone post the webm in this thread?

I can't open the link in the OP for whatever reason.

It never ceases to amaze me how awful journalists are. I still remember when Devil's Third had just come out and there wasn't much footage to be found of it so I was watching some journalists play it. It looked like a shitty cover based shooter and nothing else in their hands. I had no idea it was actually more of an action game until a month later when I watched some random youtuber actually use the sword and pull off a few combos. I was disgusted. Not a single journalist played it that way and only used their melee weapons for grab kills.

that screenshot looks good because that's all the GameCom graphics are. it's cartridge based Tiger Handheld with larger lcd cells.

Just looked it up, and you're right, it's horrible in motion.

You'd be hard-pressed to get a half-hour video under 8MB in viewable quality. Suffice to say that Polygon's driver plays Doom like somebody using a controller. With their asshole.

HIGH QUALITY AUDIOVISUAL CANCER

I made it 33 seconds in and I love the "this is how you dont play X" vids. What the fuck

Made it 33 seconds in

Holla Forums is never going to get fixed isnt it

Holy Jesus. I could be watching a webm with duel penetration man-on-man circus clowns juggling shit covered dildos, and it still wouldn't be as gay as this shit.

Keanu is such a boss.
He's also a good person with a really tragic life.

...

All right, I got it to work and all I have to say is that this is a match made in heaven.

An awful game for an awful player.
DSP is God for these people.

Now we know the real reason.

Dude, I already appreciated Keanu for his spirit despite the fact that he's had a hard life. And at time his performance in movies can be understated in a way that makes it good.

But him at a firing range tearing shit up? Fucking awesome.

so how long until we can pirate Doomed? Does it have any sort of annoying DRM?

This shit looks worse than whatever I could've imagined.

Denuvo

Mind elaborating? I know his gf had a miscarriage, but that's all I know about his personal life.

...

Holy shit all those cutscenes cluttered with shooting gallery sections and narrative out of the ass. Its totally oldskhool, goy.


Just like most shit games, there is too many coincidences. No wonder its limited to snapmap.

Holy fuck I had one of those. I think I had some batman game for it, can't remember if I ever had duke though.
If I recall the stylus scratched the screen up to all fuck as well.

She also crashed her sports car that he bough for her after Marilyn Manson got her high as fuck on coke. And now she's dead.

Keanu is an immortal, he's used to people he loves dying by now.

Only idiots would buy the game, so only idiots would review it

also, isn't his sister in a coma? I believe that's where a bit of his acting money goes, to keeping her alive if I'm not mistaken.

What?
Why?

I'm not even a FPS connoisseur but god damn……

I don't think it's true. I'm not pro-gun (I don't really care either way) and I never had a real gun in my hand, only toy guns. I fucking love FPS games though.

I love DOOM, I play it very often, but I wouldn't call it the best FPS ever. The biggest flaw DOOM has is the lack of freelok and jumping. I really like Build based games like Duke3D, Blood, Shadow Warrior, but when we hit 3D it was the real deal. Quake, Half-Life, Serious Sam…

Civilians should not have access to military grade automatic firearms, or easily concealable handguns. Anything that isn't a shotgun should not be available for purchase.
The few cases of armed criminals being neutralized by civilians are far outweighed by the thousand annual cases of public shootings.

Also, it's not a right. It's an amendment, meaning it was never part of the Constitution to begin with.

Honestly Half-Life is one of my favorite FPS games, but it's mostly because I'm a total sucker for the setting. There really aren't that many mechanics at work, but the weapon and enemy diversity is really nice.

I think something like one of the Quakes or Unreals would be a pretty good choice for being one of the best FPS games - simply because of how fast and reflex heavy they can be. But it's a bit tricky to call any one game "The best FPS ever" because so many FPS games do so many different things.

People like him and the beta-testers for HL2:EP2 that got lost in the fucking antilions tunnel. Only owen for them. I can help them get to Auswitch, I'm local.

I like how fps games haven't progressed at all in over a decade and that we also seem to have lost all the color on the way.
Now we just have monochrome stale brown shit

Amazingly enough, the Berserk rune lets you one punch demons, just like in the originals.

Half-Life was actually my very first FPS game that I've played on my own PC. I've played a bit of Q3A at school, but that was back when our IT teacher was still in the school and I just started (6year old)

My friend's dad would inport old refurbished PCs from germany (533mhz rocks) and one of them had HL1 CD in the CD-ROM. He called me and said something like


Yes, he said pickaxe.

Not counting the buyers remorse and post-purchase rationalization to rank more positive reviews that attract more idiots into buying it creating a cycle, that shills/marketers put in motion before the release.


But still not a reason to be gun-graber, like most libitards are pushing.
Criminals will get their guns and ammo any way, despite how armed the civs are or the retard legislation.

Also, because he had so many PCs in the house we used to have LAN parties every weekend, before I even know what LAN-PARTY is. hehe good times.

Have they said how the modding tools are going to be yet? I'm tempted to pick this up for 30 bucks because in all honesty the singleplayer doesn't look all that bad. The length worries me a bit, but it definitely looks fast and I think I can just turn off that cinematic kills,

...

There's this snapmap or whatever, the level editor. I don't know about other means of moding.

would you say it's worth 30 so far? I don't think we are going to see a torrent for a while.

hes also a triple dip millionaire movie star, cant be that bad

Dude I'm polish. I propably bought like 10 games in my whole life. I'd pirate it if I wasn't stuck with a toaster. Pic related, my PC

the berserk rune is where bethesda (inb4 >ID) dropped the ball on doom 4

i mean, berserk pack should be the thing that gave you powers to rip and tear through enemies like player is forced to do so to get into health/ammo pinatas

It must stay pretty cool at least

That's incredible.

fuck no nigga
give it time instead and wait for crack or when it goes for a tenner (on steam for refunds) or less if there isn't a working crack before that


I bet my ass that ain't a pic of your actual pc, if you're polish
british plugs

...

Fuck off Todd, of course it's not worth 30, it's a shit game with a limited as fuck map creator.

true, it is only singleplayer and that is a bit of a gamble.

BUY FALLOUT 4

I also have a laptop with similar specs (core duo 2 GHZ, the PC is 1.87) This PC was given to my by my friend who works at some place that destroys mail from banks and shit. They got 20 of these PCs to trash, so he took 3 of them without case and gave me one. It's better to have 2 slow PCs than one I guess.

I'm polish living in UK mate.

Rape Can be funny. It's all context, like all comedy.

jesus man

When I was a kid and we only had one computer, I'd take the mouse and my friend would take the keyboard. Watching this shit takes me back.

I can see the "does Doom need an easier mode?" articles already.

Want some DDR2 512 MB ram ? Got shit ton of those….

That would be hilarious considering DOOM1 got the Nightmare difficulty because the fans said UV is to easy.

that's some serious nigger rigging right there

Had to do that myself in college, was broke as shit and could only get a computer together at the time by getting spare parts off other people in the dorms.

Of course. Even my mouse-pad is home made (part of a cardboard from pizza box)

£5 on being in the midlands.

Are there no jobs in Poland? Get one.

THIS FAGGOT LIVES IN MY STATE
O WOW SICK

He's probably a Jew.

mein nigger

He also was on track to be really good at hockey in high school, until he got injured in the leg and made him unable to play.

There are jobs, but for 5x less money. I can work for minimum wage and still aford smal flat. With 2-3 people we can rent huge house, that's how most of poles live.

And to be honest, I didn't work since december 2015. I've saved enough money to live untill now for ~ 110GBP a week. (85 is for the room) Gotta find a job really soon.

BTW. I'm sure you're just joking, but if you're one of these THEY STAL MY JOWBS dudes then… I don't know what to say. I can go to any agency and I can work next day.

Sick framerate.

True sign of a coward with something to hide.

wut, no I just read you lived in UK. I'm just saying, if you had a job, then maybe you could buy yourself a better pc…

Jesus fucking Christ it's like watching my mom play vidya. Aren't these faggots suppose to play vidya for a living?

Hey I'm living similarly, good luck m8ee

bill of rights for 500 alex

this is what happens to subsidized fields.

reminder that these are the people that game companies cater to now.

This is the future of gaming.

That's the plan. I already "employed" but the company is fucking around to much, i'm working like 1-3 days a week. On monday i'm going to get something normal. I'd propably still work where I worked before I've quit in december, but that was because it was night shift. I had enough of the darkness after 5 months.

The problem with Polaks stealing jobs is mainly in areas such as mine that focus on agriculture, if I seek for a job- I will be immediately undercut by a Pole who will do it for a fraction of the pay and will live on site with 9 others. The influx of immigration from Poland has also made anyone who lives in the area now just call the local town "Poland" and has at least 1 murder with a slav surname every week, and ones that poach the rivers of fish.

That being said, some of you Poles are pretty fucking bro-tier, work hard and are far better than other immigrants, specifically shitskins.

You won ! I don't have any money though, is poundland coupon ok ?

Yeah i feel you man. We're all getting back soon anyway, UK's gonna leave the EU i think. I really hope you'll live, i'll manage somehow hehe.


I'm pretty sure phisical jobs don't have any salary negotiations. The place I used to work in 2015 paid 10,50 an hour + bonuses, the minimum wage at that time was 6.50 / 6.70 Doesn't seem bad to me at all, but you know, I've got "lower" standards I guess.

Leave, not live…

...

I never thought I could smell beta from gameplay footage until I saw this video. Of course, Gies would take that as a compliment along with the rest of his nu-male comrades at Polygon.

What was that animation? That voice acting? How did anyone think that was good?

Please tell me this is a joke.

In my area West Midlands, most agricultural jobs are completely slav in their employee make-up, I went to one of the local packing facilities, and the wall signs were completely in slav, no English, the manager also commented on older workers are better as they speak Russian, rather than several different slav languages. These employees usually work below minimum wage, but are often seasonal employees, going back home in winter months and coming back in summer.
Though in my immediately local area, a lot of the fields are owned by Italians who employ some Sikhs, who are pretty bro-tier too.

But you, the kind that works a good job for a good wage, I have no problem with as you live a good life and are white- I hope you are allowed to stay here after we are free of the EU's rubbing hands.

Yea, they do amazing offers on boxes of Jaffa Cakes.

Watching someone play FPS with a pad makes me sick. This player is bad even with a pad. He's even playing a bad game. This video sucks.

What a joke.

The purpose of this video must be to trigger as many people as possible for views. There is no other possible explanation.

That mechanic makes sense in a melee focused game with hordes of enemies, like Space Marine. But Doom was never about that

This triggers the user.

How can you work for below minmum wage legaly ? If they work illegaly that's totally different matter.

Yeah, most physical jobs are filled with slavs and hungarians. I really don't like the fact that UK is letting anyone go. At the very least they should have an english test or something. When I went to the office to get my insurance number they were stunned i speak english…. It's not normal.

Actually, it feels like they put a woman writer behind the controller. Fuck man… I know it's a gamepad, but at least a competent player would have been able to move both sticks at the same time.

That's basically what this cuck says. Jesus really.

archive.is/yW9rO
I can't say for sure it's him playing, but I doubt it makes much of a difference.

Or they're paid by the publisher to try to make it look like it even has a hint of difficulty. Doing it with a controller alone seems fishy. Then again, it could just be low effort like all their trash.

You can't turn the cinematic kills off, only the highlighting prompt. You'll shoot yourself in the foot because that's where a lot of your ammo and health come from.

Why does Bethesda want to kill this brand?

The government doesn't care, the taxes get paid due to no overheads on housing or services as it goes out of their pay collectively and are pretty faceless in terms of how they are treated, there isn't any emotional attachment as there would be for an English worker on low pay struggling to make ends meet.

Welcome to our land of "Tolerance", where speaking the native language isn't needed because making immigrants speak it is offensive and racist.

The only reason people like you would ever get a bad name is because we have to deal with the rude fuckers who work in the fields for essentially no pay and spend their remaining time on the bank of the local river, drinking "QUALITEE POLISH WODKA, GENUINE (100% pure ethanol)" they got for £2 from one of the 20 "European Stores" on the highstreet before killing someone in a hit-and-run incident in a Ford KA without an MOT.

Someone should get their family member to play this section of the game and watch how, some anons mother who has never played a fucking video game can play nu-doom better than anyone at polygon

Wow, I would kill myself if I ever sank to this level of failure. How they can live with being this level of talent-less pieces of garbage is beyond me.

they don't really want to kill it, but it being dead does them more good than it being thriving in the hands of competition.

I think the lack of language is the biggest problem with bad imigrants. They can't relate to other englishmen, they just sit at home with their polish TV, have local polish shop, just go to work where you don't have to speak with anyone and be a pole in uk… I know many people like that, they're all trash. Funny thing is though, even the trashiest person from Poland that speaks english gets much better and normal with time. UK and it's people are awesome.

I guess it also makes sense if your audience are armless legless blind cripples playing with a controller on PC. Like half the kills he got was shooting everywhere to the left and right of the target like some looney tunes shit, then walking up and headbutting it.

Exactly. It makes you feel as though you're great at the game even when yo fucking suck.

Hell yea, and that's the thing, we know that the Polish usually don't come with bad intentions, often showing of different forms of patriotism for the country by putting up flags and the like. When we can speak with you in our mother tongue, you are a lot like us in the way we act and almost all of you work very hard.

The same cannot be said for these piece of shit shitskins and failed, violent clones of gorillas that come over here demanding the world and giving fuck all in return.

But that's because they are protected class in Europe. UK, Germany and Sweeden mostly. If they'd get the same treatment as english it would be much better.

I mean. Imagine you're a muslim, you live in a fucking desert, but suddenly, few countries accept people like you for free. You can get benefits and even a free house. You can do almost any crime you want and it will be covered up, you'll be let go. Would you not do that ?

I'm not saying they're excused, but someone the jews perhabs is enabling it.

Sweet fancy fuck its like watching my 50 year old dad play an fps. A man who hasn't played video games since Sonic 2 and lacks to coordination to use both analogue stick at once

With (((Danny Cohen))) feeding indoctrination into the mouths of everyone.

But people are starting to repent, with the Brexit movement, some
ABSOLUTE MADMEN
rising against the narrative: archive.is/n7M1H
and people like me putting "Trump 2016, You can't stump the Trump." as their collage yearbook quote amidst the leftists protesting against me and calling me an idiot with their main ringleader being a large-nosed, curly-haired faggot who tries to beat me in debate but can only ever claim victory by screeching "OH MY GAWWSSSHHHH" thinking he has won the debate.

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That's because everybody has started using English instead :^)

I sometimes want to do that just because I hate mounting motherboards.

Is that hipster cuck playing doom with his shitty macbook?
It looks like he's trying to play doom with his shit macbook.
That or he's playing one handed..

Yeah, no, that's just Keanu's defensive mechanism. He faked it. Keanu is older than written history, mate. He was Charlemagne once, and Paul Mounet once.

Bit of trivia for ya: they never had a body to bury for either Charlemagne or Paul Mounet, both "died" under mysterious circumstances.

That's amazing

Fuck, what is with this world of HATE CRIME, HATE CRIME, HATE CRIME where you can't even express an opinion anymore unless it's legally sanctioned and you have a letter of validity to prove that you've been authorized to say things?

30 years ago you could say whatever the fuck you want. Now a boxer of all people is being threatened with a lifetime ban from British boxing if he "doesn't clean his mouth up." Give me a fucking break.

he also only pushes the sticks to their total extremes as if they were digital sort of like old people who drive by pumping the throttle on and off.

Could Mounet still be alive?

Of course he is, Paul Mounet now calls himself Keanu Reeves.

Hey! That Mario hat just reminded me I'm in Holla Forums!

I think that was my fault. Let's get back to the topic

Doom4 sucks, polygon sucks. Go play quake or something.

Why can't we have LOVE CRIMES instead? Murdering people for love would be so [this year].

Does someone have the doom infographic, im looking for some new doom mods to play instead of this horseshit that is nuDooM.

Looks like health drops are based on keeping you alive no matter how shit you are, after they fail at everything a single mob drops +90 health at 5:40.

30 seconds into the video and my face is contorted into a chink eyed grin

Wait, a single glory kill, without the chainsaw, gave him 90 health?

Not sure if this is the latest but it's close.

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Bonnie and Clyde murdered people for love. They ended up with more holes than Swiss cheese.

All I'm saying is, I'm getting tired of how our very freedom to express ourselves and be unique individuals is being forcefully and legislatively bred out of us, where we can be afraid to say something in public because of a fear of being accused or charged of some crime that isn't even really a crime.

Guy goes on a TV show and gets asked his opinion on gays, says he doesn't think it's right but that he didn't hate them or anything, people act like he was rallying for a cry to take to the streets and beat and lynch every gay in site. Get asked a question, answer it honestly and not the "please everyone PC" way and get ostracized and treated like shit, where people want to deny you your human right to live your life and make a living.

I noticed the same thing.

If there ever was a perfect example of what "casual" is, then it's this system.

Yep, it was just one of the many mobs in that wave. I suspect it dropped that much because "low health" was flashing all over the screen.

there's also >>>/doom/

And he still fucking died.

Thanks user, gonna go play some custom doom maps.

I'm thinking it's either a teenage girl playing or some dyed hair whale.

I might be blind but I see nothing in there on Guncaster, which is also worth checking out.

yeah
Whenever health gets low, every enemy turns into a pinata for health

Same deal with ammo

I'd probably suck as bad if I were on that guy's place. How the fuck can people play FPS with a controller is beyond me.

is this tied to the difficulty? maybe its because theyre playing on "daddy can i play"?

You mean rape?

Nah, its worse than M&K of course but there is no way you can blame the controller for this. This legit looks like they filmed someone play their first vidya

No
Even at higher difficulty it does the same thing

wow thats gay.

this cant be real
why did they call it DOOM? why dont call it angry mute marine? or upset marine?

Because even if it was called Angry Mute Marine it would still be a failure.

This man has never played an FPS before.

It's actually a woman playing.

Are you serious?

you really need to ask?

I want this polygone from my site, can you delete the fucking thread already OP?

The internet fucks with me like this, I meant sight.

I refuse to believe any human being can be this bad at vidya. This has to be some kind of ai in its infancy.

GUNS KILL PEOPLE

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RELEASE THE BITCHES

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So where's the torrent?

Got any Rustle?

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I don't

or the Dishonored playtesters who were told by an NPC guard to not go upstairs in a mission where they must assassinate a target who is upstairs, but they just listened to the guard and didn't know what to do.

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fucking slavs and their witchery

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And now I've got to go catch a fucking bus. See you later, faggots

What's the fucking point? Now we're going to get threads like this one - which are about Polygon's retardation and not Doomed itself - flooded with porn and yet the retards who bought the fucking game can discuss in peace. Either allow it everywhere or nowhere.

user, porn isn't allowed in DooM1+2 (even Brutal) and DooM 3 threads, every single thread about the new game including related shit like this is fair game.

why?

The fucking point is to prevent 9 threads on page 1 about a game that just came out, which is "OBVIOUSLY NOT" paid for posting, right? No.

I'm a newfag. What's a moom?

goddamn I fucking love hentai

No Doom in the title, pic of Ben Kucheera and his giant forehead grinning like a tard, no video linking to jewtube. Don't see the point, but whatever.

lurk more, faggot.

I get it. I'm saying it's a stupid policy.


Then he can just delete duplicate threads. The whole point of porn spam is to ward away the shills. If they have a refuge, they'll just shill in there.

wouldnt they get shitted on, for the shilling? its more easy to spot shills in one thread.

Cut the cover art of OG Doom in half then mirror it

There is no refuge. Anyone who tries to post about the new shit in threads about the old games will be chased out harder than a nigger at a KKK convention, Mark wouldn't even have to give people permission for that.

This is how we deal with this shit. This is a Doom 4 thread, no matter how you split it. I have 4 other Doom 4 threads open, watching them to see what people do, and there's always one faggot in every thread who whines "WHY CAN'T WE DISCUSS DOOM 4 IN THIS THREAD?" and the answer is because THERE'S 5 FUCKING THREADS THAT I AM IN ALONE THAT ARE NOT THE OFFICIAL DOOM 4 THREAD, that keep pushing things off of the main page.

The community moderates itself by destroying shit threads. We don't need Kuchera or fucking Todd or any other mark to designate that it's a Doom 4 thread. It's a webm thread of Doom 4, therefore, it's a Doom 4 thread. There was no need for ANOTHER thread, because there were other threads, but OP made a new thread of something he knew was already being widely discussed.

This is how it goes. If you don't like it, reddit has greatly shitty policies that suit your faggotry.

tbh fam reddit it the place with the downvote system you dream of.

I'm just here for the sanctioned porn dumps.

I don't need a downvote system, because we have a great system called autosage. But do enjoy sucking Todd's cock.

smh

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how the fuck is this animated, either it's 3D and whoever set up the renderer is a genius or it's 2D and someone has way too much time on their hands

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I'm pretty sure it's 3D and cell-shaded to look 2D.

i blame hotwheels.

Uhh, are you dumb?

You're completely missing what I'm saying. I'm saying it should be one of the following:
which is shitty but solves any imagined duplicate thread issue, or
which solves the shill issue and lets the board decide what it wants.

Instead, what we get is a horrible mish-mash of both. Shills can hide in the discussion bunker and threads that are only vaguely related to the game get spammed because people are trigger-happy but can't spam the #1 target without being banned.

But somehow I'm a rulefag redditor faggot for playing devil's advocate to your shitty hypotheticals.

If you'd like to run your own video game discussion board, there's a "create board" link up above. Run it any way you like.

haha, you know I didnt even realize, i had this all backloaded in my tabs and assumed it was hosted on the site.

oh well, i blame him anyway.

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That's the easy answer but what gets me is how consistently placed the shading is even when the character moves in a way that would change how deep the shadows are.

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It looked like he was only using one finger to move on WASD at a time, this is apparent whenever he is doing any lateral movement.

that makes a lot of sense, animating 2D as if it were 3D because 3D animation is way faster.

thanks fam

also
>implying doom 4 is actually being shilled
Mark really isn't the brightest tool in the shed.

Rape can be fun in context and there is absolutely nothing wrong with pedophilia, only raping little kids/girls/boys is wrong.

But yeah, he is a retard.

God that shit reminded me of keyboard turners back when I used to play WoW.

I didn't think it was possible to be this bad at video games and I'm 30 seconds in.

Fug. Left my name on.

Necrophilia is a crime, ya know.

On the subject of terrible people, webms and nuDoom, does anyone have the video of the Gayme Theorists claiming the Doom demons are racist? It was up for like an hour today, and then they hid it away.

Jesus.

Woo

Faggot.

Look are all the hecks I have to give.

I don't give two shits about guns but I play shootans far too much. What I really want in life is a game that reflects my intense passion for artillery pieces.

Not even trips can save you from being a piece of shit.

You know, now that you mention it, I've never seen a game which emphasized artillery.

The only shit here is the one that your dad is pushing back inside you right now :^)

because it's how you fake being uncomfortable.

It's "virtue signaling", he's doing it for brownie points.

Either that or he REALLY IS a fucking pussy of the Burch degree.

I really fucking hope he's lying through his fucking teeth. I don't want to see a human being this pathetic.

user, I don't mean to sound judgmental, but those images are pretty gay.

Pants on head retarded.

It's actually the exact opposite, the only difference is, when a dumb fuck is neutralized they don't report on it unless the dumb fuck is black and the shooter is white, as if race plays into the situation when a dumb fuck acts like a dumb fuck.

topwew lad

Of course they did. Of course they fucking did.

> amended to the constitution to establish protections of the people from the government
reminds me of the recent nu-news chimpout at a proposed 1st Amendment (freedom of speech) licensing scheme… using the same language and method as 2A violations. it was done purely to demonstrate the hypocrisy, and it worked massively. pathetic shit.

I just love showing everyone my superior taste

all of you are fags. 8ch is fags. wew lad smh tbh fam :^)

Is he playing on a laptop on a touchpad. Please tell me this is just a joke.