Meanwhile, at Holla Forums bar…

There are so many lone people in corners this place has entered the fifth dimension.

Water for casuals.

Do you chase absinthe with grape juice?

Don't you want something that taste like NOTHING yet also manages to taste terrible and cost five times as much?

That one faggot who put loop of Sonic drowning music on the jukebox - i swear i'm gonna get you. Nine hours listening to that shit can drive a man insane… ==INSANE!!!==

Hey barkeep, gimme a shot of video games on the rocks.

Oh, and an order of fun please.

Thanks, bartender.

Christ, if you wanted me to suck your dick, all you had to do was ask. And pay for my drink.

I'd like a diet coke, please

Okay, who requested daily dose on rocks?

It will take time.

ooga booga rock stop

[muffled sounds of gay sex]

That's beautiful, doc.

...

One Ooga Booga on the rocks coming right up.

Can I get the Dorito Dew Daiquiri, please?

Well I ain't in no rush, I'll just put on some music in the meantime.

Get me something for a man down on his luck

WHERE THE FUCK ARE THE HARDCORE DRINKS

mumble mumble stupid casuals and their drinks with DLC alcohol and season pass ice cubes and expansion ales..
mumble mumble killing the drinks industry…
mumble in my times we had nothing but pure ethanol poured down our throats and we loved it mumble mumble…

Hey buddy, I think you got the wrong door.
The faggot quarantine is a few blocks down.

plebs

...

The house special today is what we call the "Chin Shivers": It's absinthe mixed with brick dust, a bit of smashed glass and an olive.
We hope you enjoy it!

Back in a while lads, try save my seat if you can.
I heard there's a bunch of Healsluts in the bathroom today.
No homo.

So tired…

Oh, jesus christ, no.

Afternoon, everybody.

...

Two bottles of dubs, please.

You'll get one bottle and you'll like it.

20%…20%! What do you take me for; a casual?!

III Kalja.

Juice?

I SAID I WANTED A GLASS OF JUICE, NOT GAS THE JEWS

mah nigga

Is there a drink I can have that'll not make me tired?

Is there a drink that will make me good at video games?

Cowfee

GOOD ENOUGH NOW I CAN GO TO VEGAS IN STYLE SHITTING BLOOD ON PLEBS BELOW

Nothing can

WHERE'S THE FUCKING BARTENDER I'VE BEEN WAITING 20 MINUTES FOR A DRINK OVER HERE

Thats only going to make me more tired in a couple of hours..

inb4 guren tea fags
cowfee > guren tea

Gween tea?

Who keeps letting the retarded loli's in here?

Cawfee is best girl and beverage

Is there anything that doesn't have caffeine?

...

All you faggots need is a round of BARTENDER!
Did anyone else learn how to mix drinks from SS13?

Hello potion seller, I'm going into battle and I want your strongest potions.

Thanks doc

New drinks on the menu

Hey, at least they pay for their drinks

This is where you failed, you don't stop drinking coffee.

WHOSE THE ASSHOLE THAT KEEPS PRE-ORDERING DRINKS?

I learned how to cook. Gotta get all that Nutriment.

A Jägerbomb dropped in Energydrink? Just adjust the Energy-drink to Jäger Meister ratio to match the desired awake to drunk ratio.

but user it won't hurt the quality of the beer
+ they will game me the right to have an extra lemon and ice

Seven Azathoth Cocktails please, sounds like a fun hangover to deal with.

let me enlighten you plebs with some god tier music

Never mind, I'll go take a nap…

You can not get off Mr. Bartender's wild ride.

I'm pretty sure some unfortunate user is used as a fuckhole somewhere.

Give me a Gouden Carolus.

It hurts to live at this point.

Nice

Pass the whiskey.

I guess i'll just leave before i party poop like always

Liar

Strongest you got.

user, don't worry! We'll make you a yum yum! It'll be fun!

Real talk here, if you've got problems talking a drink/cigarette with others is a great way to socialize. In my experience even the spergest people end up having fun when they're tipsy and just fucking around with other people

"Get outta my bar, you always cause trouble"

Nigger I can be a fucking autist at times but a good number of beers can make me act like a normal person. Trying to get fit is very admirable, but try to have fun in life.

Inb4 the "I HAVE PLENTY OF FUN WITHOUT" argument

I'm sure plenty of people do. People who aren't normalfags, that is.

I have a friend like that, great guy, but even me, the psuedo autist, would like to punch him sometimes.
I almost did once, kinda scared myself.

Same

This, As long as you don't fuck up and end up completely pissed, or you're by nature a bad drunk, you're going to be able to socialize with nearly anyone once a drink or two went around the table. Truly the best social lubricant after chloroform

I didn't expect to get so many replies. I just don't want to look like i'm 70 when i'm 40 so i don't drink or smoke. I'm only getting fit because of an ara i met in college and she likes fit guys so i promised I'd workout for her. I'm insecure around her because she could leave at anytime since i'm definitely not as good as her past guys. I'm to improve as much as possible

I bet you hate J.D., faggot.

Keep trying to get fit.
Just don't forego all nice things in life.
No soda? Fine, but once a day / every few days is OK. Don't make your life a /fit/hell.
Also, the way you look when you're 40 is largely genetics. I'm sure working out helps a bit, but I wonder how much.
Last, don't let grills dictate your life, try to have fun.

...

Just fill my mug with whiskey and I'll have a night on the town with anyone who's willing to have a go, for a nickel.

Can I ask you something?
Despite all I've read about Holla Forums, I wasn't prepared to see them operating in the open, in the catalog, and spreading memes. Don't the hotpocketeers care?

They're not breaking any rules, I don't think.
The Holla Forums thread about BF1 is more tolerable than the Holla Forums thread.

Can you show me the way to drawthread?

Drawthread's closed for now buddy. Wait until a drawfag's bored and decides to set up shop.

Could I have some H2O?

You should get fit for yourself. 70 percent of Americans are overweight, it's "only" 50 percent in my country. I still have a few kilogrammes of fat myself sadly.

I am not some health freak but not being super fat and dying from a heart attack after walking up two flights of stairs feels good.

Everywhere I look man I just see disappointment.

Well I used to be a disgusting neckbeard virgin before her. Now i'm just disgusting and i'm getting healthier.

The one thing i haven't given up is video games and coffee. I love coffee

I'm like you except
I'm not getting fit for girls, I'm getting fit for myself.

What vidya have people been playing?
What you fags been up to?
This the only comfy reaction pic I have

You are Holla Forums clay now. Heil your new Fuhrer dirty peasants.

...

I've been playing mount and blade but most of it's mods are shit that don't capture what made vanilla so fun so i might just watch a movie.
does this image count?

Ive been downloading shit games in the hope of finding a diamond between them, so far its mostly indie pixelshit but ive been having fun with kill to collect. Its not good by any means but its fun for a couple of hours at least.

...

A nun, a rabbi, and a nurse walk into a bar.
The nun says, "I'll have sparkling water over ice, please."
The bartender smiles, opens the minifridge behind him, and pours out a generous amount for her.
The rabbi says, "Just the usual, Frank."
The bartender smiles, a little more honestly this time, and begins making a Boxcar. After he pours in the egg white and shakes, he pulls open the minibar again, and pulls out a small flap of flesh, and garnishes the rabbi's drink with it like a lemon wedge.
The nurse, about to have a long night's shift, and wanting some excitement, says, "give me the special."
The bartender breaks out into a wide grin, his lips agape, and pulls out some gin and lime juice from the rack in front of him, as if to prepare a gimlet. Then, the bartender turns around, opens a cabinet, and pulls out the biggest damn shaker you ever could see. After pouring some gin and lime juice into the shaker, the bartender opens the minifridge one last time, and pulls out a jar containing a human fetus. The bartender dumps it into the shaker, mixes thoroughly, and pours it out, having to use both hands to hold the shaker. The nurse, thoroughly disgusted, walks through the double doors leading to the restroom, and all the occupants of the bar can hear the nurse regurgitating their dinner. The nurse then proceeds to leave in a huff, while the bartender frowns slightly, hands over a twenty dollar bill to the rabbi, and while pouring the nurse's drink down the drain, says, "Well, I thought a nurse would be able to take it, but for once I'll accept my loss."

how?

=|

Why is this reddit shit allowed? Even OP abandoned his shit thread

Play some Yakuza or Monster Hunter, there's still a lot of good gems around if you look hard enough.

...

Wowowow epic template thread!

I laughed so hard I farted XD

Now we're talking.

You're a faggot regardless

rollin

Where's the "Holla Forumsfit/pol/ Triumvirate" Master-Race seating area?

Now this is shit I can get behind

rolling for alraune

I'll have a Blue Moon, thanks barkeep.

I'm not disappointed tbh

Dark Forces II was the fucking best.

I'll have that along with dogfish head
also

>>>/beer/

yeah its the best of all time.

Alice get

gimmi a drink baahtender

Potato Liquor.

This is gonna be a long night.

This bar has some excellent variety. I wonder if any of the patrons here can tell me if there are any video games where you can drink tea.

LISA.

Mate, you're completely doomed to fail and even if you succeed you'll always have to bust ass to try to convince her to stick around. Not what you're going to want in a relationship unless you're just looking to fuck or become a cuck in every sense of the word

currently pirating booze, does anyone want a free martini?

...

WHY THE FUCK DO THEY ONLY SERVE WATER HERE

...

Nothing like chugging half a bottle of whiskey and awaiting death with you faggots after a long day of doing fuck all

i hope u stayed in a chair all day
that way ur likely hood of dying from a stroke has increased

Rolling

I need a complex flavor.
Give me something with 2 alternate endings, sequel 1 follows one ending, sequel 2 follows the other.

...

rollan

Get me a hard ginger ale and we'll bigger from there

roll