Well hello there Anons, I was going to storytime Black Panther and the Crew to you all, but since some kindly soul has spared me the effort and done it instead, I've decided to treat you all to another of Marvels modern classics. America! Last time in America, the titular character went on a road trip with Kate Bishop (A.K.A Hawkeye) so she could go out on a date with an ex-girlfriend who turned out to be working for some bad guys! Kate was drugged by her ex and kidnapped by some people in a helicopter
Now for this issue! The chances of the concert that appears on the cover initially seem slim as America wakes up to find herself in a boxing match with her ex-girlfriend Magdelena! It turns out this is some sort of super-villian fight club being run by Arcade. To be honest, I'm not sure why America didn't immediately try punching the guy, rather than playing along with the boxing thing.
Oh, and a few hours earlier, we get to see the rest of the kidnapping, Kate is completely ineffective here.
I'm really not in the mood for empty nothing that still manages to be gay.
Mason Richardson
That heart sign that America was sitting on starts to collapse for no apparent reason and Kate just keeps talking- compared to her even I look succinct. Anyway, Kates luchador stalker, Madrimar arrives on the scene. This issue we finally get some backstory, but for now all you need to know is that for some reason she suddenly needs Kates help to stalk America.
Back in the arena, it's revealed that Arcade has Magdelenas father and will kill him if America or Magdelena don't kill the other. Oh, and Arcade is apparently working for someone else I guess, which makes me wonder why he's even here at all. Whatever, Kate and Madrimar quickly arrive to remove the only reason America has to play along.
Juan Foster
The heroes link up in time to fight a bunch of super villians. Not that that's really important as the real drama is coming from Madrimar trying to talk to America. Madi keeps trying to mysteriously hint at some sort of link between them but America doesn't give a shit. That is, until the shock twist that Madrimar is Americas grandmother! Wow!
Isaiah Jackson
Hurt me, OP. I'm ready.
Ryder Miller
America does a complete 180 and suddenly gives a shit about Madrimar and they team up to kill everyone still at the boxing match with some sort of explosive ground pound thing. Madrimar is going to take America to the "Ancestral Plane" so she can get ancient ancestral wisdom or some shit and Kate tells Magdelena that she's in love with America (in a completely platonic way).
Juan Hall
What the fuck is this she even support to be?
Brody Stewart
WHY DO ALL THE WOMEN LOOK LIKE MEN!?
Thomas Morales
America and Madrimar walk off into a star together as America tells her new friend that she's got to be back at university eventually.
Meanwhile the golem leader that I completely ignored in this commentary so far talks to the true leader of the conspiracy, some rich chick with a BDSM fetish who has apparently decided she wants to turn America's university into a sex dungeon or some shit. I don't really care, but it does make me wonder why Arcade was involved at all if the true plot was simply trying to capture America… Which they accomplished at the start of the issue with no problems whatsoever.
Whatever, next issue: America does some shit with her Nan. I don't know, whatever. Of note in the letters page however is some Cis-het MALE embarrassing himself by admiting that America is his waifu. Don't be that guy kids.
Adam Parker
Marvel allowed this.
Dylan Butler
Because the author is a woman who has failed at being one. How many issues later is it going to be revealed that the grandmother is actually old Ameriga from another dimension?
just how wrong can this comic get? And why the fuck is she called America if she's a fucking spic? She or at least her "grandmother" rejects English in favor or hue-speak and she keeps wearing all the "American" regalia and symbols without actually being American at all.
Alexander Jones
I like ahegao and cross-eyed/rolling eyed girls, and this shit looks horrific. Her lips looks like a mexican's ballsack.
Ryan Kelly
Those fucking jojo posters in th last page
Lincoln Williams
womyn have pubic hair on their lips confirmed
Christian Ortiz
...
Brayden Green
It's like Frank Quitely art piece but without the talent
Gabriel Nguyen
"Dios mio! My granny is a luchadore!" fucking writes itself how do you even fuck that up
Brandon Hall
Well then.
Isaiah Murphy
What a dumb bitch.
Zachary Flores
That's basically AMERICA in a nut-shell. A writer so astoundingly inept that they make everything, even what should be fun things, soul-crushingly terrible.
We should write a letter to the AMERICA imploring the creative team to voluntarily cancel the book, or at the very least have the writer replaced by someone who isn't a living, breathing, cliche.
Bentley Wilson
I would go so far as to say that's the entertainment industry everywhere in a nut-shell. Where as alchemists spent centuries trying to turn lead into gold it seems modern entertainers have discovered the opposite.
Parker Carter
Which one of you fags did this?
Aiden Gutierrez
eh? did i miss my dose of cancer? i remember reading the last one were she time travel to destroy the white energy cis monster by moving her from the past to the present because reasons.
Ryder Perry
That whole letter can be read like it was written by one of us, holy shit.
Elijah Martinez
Yup, and now the antagonist is apparently a white trust-fund baby that looks like an extra from Hellraiser.
The letter from Nathan is even better. Note the 'one copy left' comment. And the thread is now a sticky on half/co/.
James Roberts
Holy shit, I regret skipping over the letter page for once!
Austin Hughes
This looks like a character from SuperJail!
Jack Nelson
I just realized those are suppose to be lips on her mask. Jesus Christ!
Parker Collins
How has this not been canned yet? How many bodies does the author know the location of?
Jonathan Myers
Oh wow, that's perfect.
Michael Morgan
Marvel got a lot of shit for saying, quite correctly, that diversity is not and does not sell. Then they walked it back and started sucking up to some of their "PoC" and "womyn" employees. They're probably waiting for the heat to die down so they can quietly shitcan this.
Liam Rodriguez
FUCKIN' LEDG!!!!! THE ABSOLUTE MAD MAN!!!!!
Does anyone have an archeive of the thread where the brave user posted his suggestion for this glorious letter?
Jeremiah Gonzalez
I got a real bug up my ass about these action sequences. America has always had shitty choreography (among other thinks), but this issues takes the cake. For all the punches, kicks and throws that this issue has, not a single one of them feels like they have any wait. The lack of blur and/or motion lines, the pitiful posing and the weak ass expressions. NONE of them make me feel like I'm watching a serious fight, they feel sloppy and amateur. I DRAW BETTER THAN THIS, AND I'M NOT EVEN THAT GOOD!
Nolan Mitchell
Because it was. I was there for the last issue, I believe it was over on half-chan. One of the anons there gave a draft of the letter, verbatim, and asked what the anons thought. Many of us thought that "The Room" reference was too on the nose and would tip them off, but he went with it anyway.
The fact that his ploy worked makes it even more glorious. It goes to prove so many of our theories about the lack of consciousness of Gabby and her team, the fact that they fell for such an obvious troll demonstrates just how dense they are.
Sebastian King
The Room comparison is spot-on. This is outsider art made by someone with no knowledge or understanding of the medium, just a kind of weird parroting of what she thinks a comic is. Jeezus, if you want bad ass Latino dykes, wrestling and superheroes, read Love & Rockets, it's what these morons would have tried to rip off if they'd ever heard of it, or actually read any comics.
So, I took a look at Chav's Tropes page, did she really break a chair over Carol's head? That actually sounds pretty fun, it must have been in another book by a different team. And did she really break up with her girlfriend over her not wanting to move cities with her, and storm off through one of her PORTALS? Her PORTALS? Her PORTALS that let her travel between GALAXIES? Lol, America, you cunt.
Logan Powell
They know enough about it to completely rip off one of its more iconic covers for this issue. Rip it off and completely suck all the life out of it. Compare the audience in the L&R cover to the audience in the America cover. Doubt they ever read it though.
Robert Green
Two theories: Or:
Ryder Garcia
nice wew Why do lesbians so often form shitty punk rock bands?
Lincoln Green
Someone from halfchan apparently.
Justin Miller
Huh.. gotta hand it to half/co/, they had a great idea and ran with it.
I think nothing could be funnier than flooding the inboxes of these self-aggrandizing cunts with fake fan letters.
Adrian Howard
The difference is that Tommy Wiseau wasn't working for the biggest movie maker corporation in America like Gaby is doing with comics and Marvel.
Grayson Baker
Ugh, why do the America people have to make everything look like it was airbrushed by Lisa Frank?
Tyler Thomas
...
Ayden Reed
>Marvel keeps it in print so that means it's selling more digitally very unfortunate choice of words there
Camden Barnes
...
David Kelly
Because mexicans are the real Americans user.
Asher Fisher
Into the trash it goes.
Luke Scott
archive.is/xX0zJ Rich Johnson is pissed off that people trolled poor Gabby.
Kevin Bailey
Why can't he just admit the comic is bad? I mean, even with all the SJW and representation and stuff, he can at least admit the comic is seriously lacking in quality, even if you put aside the writing, the art alone in the last 2 issues is just terrible.
Ethan Jackson
Top wew.
Jeremiah Ward
Because comics journalism is a joke. It's a den of corruption and non-stop pr. The reason nobody does anything about it because it's so fucking irrelevant that ignoring it does far more damage than actually fighting it.
In fact, I'd argue the current state of comics journalism is our greatest ally. They promote garbage, normies buy that garbage, realize it's garbage, and then never read comics ever again. They're actively helping bring about the great cataclysm that will burn the entire industry to the ground and they don't even know it.
Nathaniel Wright
Even normalfags who read bleeding cool aren't sipping this kool-aid and it's quite a pleasant sight to see that nearly no one is in agreement with the author of the article.
Christopher Perez
...
Jayden Kelly
Kill yourself.
Christian Barnes
That is one good fucking catch, man.
James King
That's just Rich.
It was their plan all along/no_carlos_diversity.jpg
