Telltale Batman

So season 2 of Telltale's Batman series came out. Lemme tell you… they somehow managed to Nolan it up and make it some of the dumbest schlock ever unintentionally. Let's start with just a few points that happen in the first 15 minutes.


That's just the first 15 minutes and I couldn't have been laughing harder at how stupid it is. See, when you try to make something funny or campy into something serious, you get something horribly laughable at how unbelievable it is. Fuck this stupid game.

The Riddler is a fun villain when they make him an egotistical, thrill-seeking criminal instead of some kind of torture murder serious guy.

Season 1 was the worst game Telltale ever managed to put out, even considering the Minecraft one. This getting a second season while Wolf Among Us is still forgotten is just another proof the videogame industry is dying.

I'm starting to think that they want to kill Brote.

Any love I had for Wolf Among Us was killed by the Fable series itself.

I've always wished they would portray The Riddler as someone that Batman likes fighting Like in between fighting psychopaths like The Joker or having to deal with high level shit like Bane, he picks up the newspaper, sees that the Riddler sent out a new message, and just smiles and asks Alfred for a pot of coffee.

Gald I stopped reading it before that moment then.

That's the only two pages in the entirety of the comic with any kind of political bullshit.

Not fucking possible.

Same here.

What? Where?

Also, to be fair, it's no stupider than Vicky Vale being turned into a master martial artist and criminal mastermind with unlimited resources that she pulls out of her ass as the plot needs it. Or Bruce Wayne's reputation basically being screwed by the end of the fourth episode, yet magically fixed as soon as he beats up Penguin and Lady Arkham.

Also, it's a fucking Telltale "game". It's not so much a game as a movie which tries to trick you into thinking that any of the 4 button choices you make actually matter.


And to think, I used to consider Fables a decent series.

What else does Penguin look like to you? Because he sure as hell doesn't look white to me. It's like that time where reboot Dante may have been designed after some ceo, game director, or whatever the fuck at the time.

He looks like DMC Dante.

That's the point….

Here's Telltale's Penguin for an idea of what I'm talking about.

Fables is good aside from that, though it's not woryh reading past them destroying their main enemy, and the best issues are the beginning ones when it's still got that Noir feel.

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boo

The penguin that looks like MDE Charls is best penguin.
That fucking kike doesn't even have blue eyes.

But user, it's triggering. My delicate sensibilities can't just flip past two pages and continue reading the story! Why just that JPG alone is giving me an awful case of the vapors!

How about fuck you.
And fuck Telltale games. But since you have a bad taste, of course you play them.

Riddler has tons of potential.

Well, Joker in Telltale games is a regular, grinning guy who keeps hitting on you or some shit.

You know, lets just forget our feelings about Israel for a moment…

Why would the author put that in the comic? I mean I doubt this was written after the 2010s when it became the norm to have a political agenda, this shit probably would have caused a controversy for daring to insert real-life debate as heated as Israel-Palestine into the story.

Those people look nothing alike

Well there was controversy at the time but it probably wasn't blown to major proportions. Readers at the time were aware that the writer at the time was a bit of a racist and outspoken israel supporter. Least that's what I gathered from what little info on the issue I found.

Wolf Among Us is getting a second season though.

The point of the line was the magic world was debating going to war with the normal humans. Magic fucks were convinced they would wipe the floor with the normal human, but the character was makinga comparison to Israel. Even though the magic world could open portals and surround them on all sides, Bigby was telling them that even if surrounded and outnumbered, humans would still annihilate them.

Western comics actually kind of have a problem where they don't have those types of characters anymore.

Gone are gentlemen thieves who are robbing for the challenge, or goofballs that just need a quick buck to fund their crazy idea nobody would ever fund. They've been replaced with remorseless killers that are on their 4th baby eating spree of the month, but the hero refuses to kill because that would make them 'just as bad' as them.

I think you could get a lot more out of a villain that would actually turn around and try and save batman if his grappling hook came loose than one who's replaced his teeth with razor blades.

It would also be fun to see a villain that the whole of a superhero community gives free passes to because rather than death traps he just seals them in a room with sandwiches and drinks with a time lock on the door.

Its because they're not realistic.

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Exactly.

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So was the first one any good?

I looked up some reactions on the Telltale site and Reddit and the most upset people were liberals complaining about conservatives inserting their politics into comic books wew.


Well that makes sense in context… Though he could have used a hundred other historical examples like Finns beating the Soviets during the Winter War, the Battle of Vienna, the Stand of the Swiss Guard, the Russo-Japanese War, I dunno… But nah he had to use (((them))).

Has this ever happened before? The closest things I can think are Black Cat and Catwoman and that is due to their superheroes finding them hot.

>Though he could have used a hundred other historical examples like Finns beating the Soviets during the Winter War, the Battle of Vienna, the Stand of the Swiss Guard, the Russo-Japanese War, I dunno… But nah he had to use (((them))).

Those examples are all a little more obscure than Israel, but for the point he's making Israel is a really shitty example anyway. They're backed by the United States, substantially better equipped than their neighbors to the point of being the only regional power with permanently assembled nuclear weapons (unless we count as far away as Pakistan), etc. Their martial success really has next to nothing to do with them being tough and more to do with the fact that they could nuke everyone around them if things got too bad (a.k.a. the Samson Option), which severely handcuffs the options their opponents have in offensive wars (considering how neurotic Jews are and all).

By the way, the Winter War actually ended in a pyrrhic victory for the Soviets, they spent way too many men and resources on it for what Finland had to offer them strategically (a buffer), but if we're including pyrrhic victories (since that would make his point as well), the Battle of Thermopylae would be a very well known (and particularly relevant to comics) example to use instead.

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I watched it on Youtube. I kind of thought there were some neat ideas in there, but overall no, not really.

Between this and A New Frontier I'm not sure I even want it.

Looks like a standard British dude to me. A bit chavvy, to be sure, but he doesn't look anything like a Middle Easterner.


Neither Black Cat or Catwoman are particularly evil nowadays. Hell, Black Cat was technically never even a proper supervillainess before Slott destroyed her character, most of the bad shit she was involved in was just her trying to get Spider-Man's attention and fucking up in the process.

Skip to after 3 minutes. In my opinion he looks like a paki here.

He is right you know.

I'm mad now.

I blame Arkham City for this.


I still don't see how he looks Middle Eastern. Reminds me of Russel Brand for some reason. I hate his voice and feel bad for his voice actor Jason Spisak since he did some voices and the Green Lantern TAS and was good at it.


Do they do anything with Joker in Season 2?

I saw a lets play of it. I can say that it isn't great at all.

Pyrrhic victories would have made a bad example for the point Wolf is trying to make to Gepetto. They want to survive, not be defeated while making the enemy win at great cost.

Good to know.

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So, anyone else gonna post Lucius Fox's STRONK INDEPENDENT SCIENCE WOMYN daughter making both Batman and her dad look like complete morons?

I mean, these "games" already nerf Batman pretty heavily, but this is ridiculous.

And doesn't Lucius already have a son, Luke?

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He could be one of Bats most dangerous villains if he only chose to. Batman vs Riddeler should be a battle of wits, but it's outside of TellTalle's expertise. Hard to write battle of wits when you lack them.


Turning Riddeler into a silly version of Jigsaw was the first sign of a downfall for the series. Which is a shame, because otherwise first two Arkham games were very good when it came to handling the world and characters.

I replayed Arkham Asylum recently and it amazed me just how much better of a grasp it had on all of the characters involved than any other game. Joker was just right, Scarecrow was great, Killer Croc was just scary enough, Harley wasn't annoying, Zsasz was…OK and Poison Ivy was pretty spot on. Bane admittedly was pretty badly handled, but this was before TDKR, so Bane as a muscled moron was pretty much accepted in the mainstream at the time.

Maybe it's because it wasn't trying to build some kind of "Arkham-verse" with its own lore and stuff, but just trying to be a fun Batman game in its own right. Arkham City onwards, the games just got way too much up their own ass in terms of world-building and such.

Did Paul Dini write Arkham Asylum? If so that explains why Bane is so badly handled.

Yeah, he wrote both Asylum and City. I suspect he had more of a hand in City, though, since that would explain the sudden shoe-horning of Ra's al Ghul into the plot and Hugo Strange's shitty handling. And why Joker ended up front and center again, because he's the only character that Dini knows how to write well.

Besides few lines like those The Fables was actually pretty good until towards the end of Darkness and his defeat, and everything after that was just increasingly shit.
When one of the worst characters kills one of the best characters nothing is sacred anymore.

I hate shit like that. It really should have just ended the moment Gepetto joins the fables

One of the first Riddler comics I ever read was about the Riddler deciding to give up crime. His henchman convinced him to keep trying, and he decided, he'd give it one more heist. If Batman figured out the riddle he was done for good. The comic ends with hime getting arrested and being stopped by Batman only because someone else broke in at the exact same time and Batman happened to foil the Riddler's robbery as well. Riddler, despite getiting caught, is completely ecstatic because Bats only caught him on accident without ever figuring out the riddle. That's been the character-defining comic for the Riddler for me ever since I started reading them. I hate this stupid gritty edgy bullshit that contaminates every character. Why can't any one just fucking remain FUN?

I'm calling it right now, Joker will still somehow find a way to get me to owe him a favor even though I told him to fuck off in season one, Riddler will most likely have a super edgy backstory or a connection to the Waynes (Because everybody in this universe knows who the Waynes are, for some odd reasons) and no matter what choice you make, the story is still going move forward only with a slight change e.g Alfred wearing an eye patch or Bruce losing a bit of his ear.

General consensus nowadays is that the Wayne were big enough philanthropists that they were as famous, if not more, than fucking Bill Gates or some shit. I don't mind that so much, but yes, everyone alwyas being related to the hero is annoying, but being relate to the Wanyes doesn't come off as so dumb.

The Waynes are huge in Gotham and known by everyone as they pretty much funded the entire city to get out of the complete shithole it once was, to the current kinda-shithole. Kind of like those owners of mills and factories during the industrial revolution that created cities around their businesses.

Not sure how famous they are to the public outside Gotham, but being connected to the Waynes isn't as complete stretch.

I guess that makes sense, but in season one it was super annoying that everytime I met a side character they would always tell Bruce something about his parents and how they ruined their lives.

I just hope Riddler's backstory isn't "I want revenge because the Waynes could have helped me! But didn't!" that would be fucking stupid.

That bugged me so much. Why blame Bruce the actions of his parents?

Bane had a brain to match his brawn since Knightfall.

If you can't blame the parents, blame the kids. Grudges like that have gone on for years, both in fiction and in history.

Yeah, but I'm talking about the mainstream. Between Batman & Robin, the DCAU and several earlier Batman games, Bane as a dumb brute was the most commonly known portrayal of the guy, so it was no big surprise when Asylum had Bane as a dumbass. It wasn't until after TDKR that the mainstream portrayal of Bane started favoring muscle-bound genius over roided-up idiot.

Kinda like how Hugo Strange was basically a non-entity before Batman: Arkham City and then suddenly started popping up everywhere afterwards.

Its true.

Anyone else seen episode one yet?

SPOILERS:

To sum it up, once again none of your choices make a difference (it doesn't matter if you told the Joker to fuck off in Season 1, he still comes to you asking for a favor), Lucius Fox dies so his tech whiz daughter can get set up as his replacement, Batman once again acts like a total moron instead of the world's greatest detective and then Riddler gets killed.

It looks like Season 2 is gonna be even worse in terms of plot than Season 1. When the writing starts resorting to killing off important characters for shock value, you KNOW it's got nothing else going for it.

Holy shit what the fuck are you doing kid?

Oh good, more diversity.

Being too lazy to greentext and look up the spoiler tag.

That answer your question?

Well duh, it's a Telltale game.

I will still never understand why everyone has such a giant boner for the Joker.
Why not give the likes of Prometheus a shot or something, why it always the fucking joker?

Why would that explain it?

Alright, I played the first episode and I hated the ending.

I was with it until the end, unlike the first season this felt like a Batman game, sure this version of The Riddler has been done to fucking death in recent media, but I was with it. I wasn't a fan of The Joker in season one but here he worked, he was a wild card and you didn't know what he was planing.

Long story short, they pull an Arkham, Riddler gets killed and Waller finds out Batman is Bruce.

So I know how this is gonna end, everybody who finds out Bruce is Batman is gonna end up dead and none of this will matter in the end.

Fukcing TellTale.

I hope you didn't buy it.

Joker sells, that's why. Normalfags love the Joker so they put him in everything to guarantee a profit.

Because Paul Dini and Bruce Timm aren't big fans of Bane.

NO!
NOT IN MY TELLTALE GAMES!
what happened?!

Urbans