Why are betty and veronica obsessed, let alone attracted to this chode-nosed ginger dandy faggot?

Why are betty and veronica obsessed, let alone attracted to this chode-nosed ginger dandy faggot?

I always assumed that Archie has a twelve-inch dick.
I mean, he has no money, he's kind of an assclown, doesn't have many prospects beyond that band with one song, and his car is a piece of shit.
He's got to have a cock like a baby's arm holding an apple, it's the only explanation.

He's a pretty boy tier chad.
Doesn't have the face but I guess he has the charisma of one.

He doesn't have the body to be a Chad.
I don't think he's been called good-looking beyond "cute" in-universe.
He doesn't spend a lot of time chasing B&V. He chases other girls, forgets who he's supposed to be on a date with… And he doesn't have that kind of asexual cold fish Spock/Kermit sex appeal of Jughead.

You know, I think he's a beard, and Betty and Veronica are really just interested in each other, and keep Archie around to look straight.
Odds on he's fucking Jughead anyway.

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They are attracted to who Archie is as a person. True he's a bit of a dingus but he's a kindhearted dingus.In the almost eighty years of Archie comics he has been shown to be selfless, honest, charitable, and always there for his love ones. It's no surprise that Betty and Veronica love him.

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What is not to like?

He's a jew, canonically

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Don't be surprised, the ginger gene may be a result of Kike and Potatonigger crossbreeding. However there are genealogists who challenge this theory.

Didn't notice how Spielberg changed Tintin from blonde to red-head?

No, Archie is more of a greedy opportunist with an ego. Who else would need two beards? He probably bounces from one guy to another and won't pass on any offer.
Besides, Jughead is an autist obsessed with burgers. Warmed up burger bun is the best he's ever gonna get.

If I remember correctly, Archie's creator once said that he had a bar mithzva and everything.

Tintin was never blonde, what are you on about?

Archie's just a beard. They make a big show of pursuing him and fighting over him to keep everybody from suspecting that Betty and Veronica are secretly lovers.

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Original's like a cherry blonde probably more emphasized by the process it went through in printing. Original color was probably closer to blonde though.

He's a 1950s pretty boy. That's why.
Also, his eyebrows.

Obviously because Archie is an author insert. It's exactly like what happened with Doug, the cartoonist was a faggot so he created a whole universe where he could pat himself on the back for still being a faggot but a faggot in the center of all the attention.

I did some edits

waifu2x'd versions

Bob looks similar enough to guess this sure but Archie was inspired as a character by Mickey Rooney, a guess what at the time teenage pretty boy.
To answer this the guys just a pretty boy and that's why he's attractive enough.

That movie was kind of unsettling, but I do enjoy seeing cartoon characters translated into "realism" for movies.

The Peanuts Movie annoyed me with how they literally copied the designs from 2D to 3D. Just make it 2D then, you no-risk taking cucks

Okay that's actually kinda funny.

Most Archie comics are.

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/ourguy/

Dumb question, but is Jughead's crown made from an empty jug?

Nope, it's actually a style of hat popular with mechanics in the 20's/30's. It was made out of a felt fedora with the edges trimmed.

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Why is he angry?

The first MGTOW

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wew

This is a man who knows what he wants.. to eat burgers and sleep. He is the pinnacle of human evolution.

This is so fucking gay. This is the kind of shit your kids look back on and laugh at you for in photos. Like mullets or tall fades. Like, just by guess, gradient eyebrows will be 10-20 years form now.
Why any dumbass ever thought this or the things listed ever looked good, I have no fucking idea.

the outraged veronica makes this

Can't remember. I was thumbing through old archie comics at the thrift store, and took that picture. Probably should have just bought it.

Funny though, can you imagine the outrage if Jughead were still portrayed like this?
and this

nigga how tiny ya dick?