Star Wars comics and cartoons

Adam Thomas
Adam Thomas

WTF is this shit?

web.archive.org/web/20170612041357/http://fandom.wikia.com/articles/doctor-aphra-star-wars

Is this literal mary sue/anti-hero/super genius/mega combatant/super lesbian/Darth Vader's best friend seriously/etc supposed to be the shining highlight of Disney's nu-EU? Is this really all it takes to get to the top of a franchise's comic series?

All urls found in this thread:

web.archive.org/web/20170612041357/http://fandom.wikia.com/articles/doctor-aphra-star-wars
desuarchive.org/sw/thread/261/
desuarchive.org/sw/thread/1857/
translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=ru&tl=en&u=http://hungry-ewok.ru/sw/all_books.htm
archive.is/A56Ms
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jizz
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Soon_Bayts

Jaxson Lopez
Jaxson Lopez

I hate that bitch in the comics because Vader treats her better than anyone else. FOR NO REASON.

Alexander Johnson
Alexander Johnson

She honestly makes TFA's Rei look almost decent. This bitch is easily one of the most unlikeable and perfect cunts out there. And Vader just loves the fuck out of her. Her droids aren't even fucking original. They're just Donut Steal evil versions of the only two droids normalfags care to know about. And don't get me started on her horrid ship design. The fucker who writes this crap clearly has no love for the lore of the franchise or even good scifi. Nothing but a casual fuck. Fuck this mess, fuck Marvel and fuck Disney.

Camden Myers
Camden Myers

Webloggers and nerds have shit taste. What more is there to say?

Jackson Morgan
Jackson Morgan

Fans should just keep pretending the old Expanded Universe still exist and keep moving from there. Fan made stuff from star wars was pretty decent, at least better than this shit.

Christopher Rivera
Christopher Rivera

What the hell are they doing? Are they only capable of writing Mary Sues that are perfect and indistinguishable from one and the other?

Brody Cruz
Brody Cruz

There's an official mandate that there can only be either female or non-whites protagonists in Star Wars from now on. Straight from Kathleen Kennedy.

Asher Taylor
Asher Taylor

Really? I haven't cared about SW since the KoTOR stuff, but I'd like this for my anti-white folder.

Jackson Morales
Jackson Morales

Can't find the article, it was from 2015.

Charles Cooper
Charles Cooper

That's all they can do. Honestly, every which way I look its nothing but more of the same or some shitty gimmick. Is this really the ultimate low? Is there nothing good left?

David Cooper
David Cooper

What little good remained in this world died with Samurai Jack.

Andrew Jackson
Andrew Jackson

So Han Solo is going to be a girl next movie? Or is he getting sidelined by a Mary Sue?

So long its profitable I suppose. But SW cucks are gonna eat shit and laugh while they do it.

Adam Barnes
Adam Barnes

SW cucks
How low we've fucking fallen.

desuarchive.org/sw/thread/261/
desuarchive.org/sw/thread/1857/

Feels like only yesterday when I was bitching with some fellow jackass about how the Crystal Star novel wasn't as bad as most made it out to be or how the Vong could go eat a dick

mfw it was 6 years ago

Oh God… I should've appreciated those days more. Now its nothing but casual normalfags who don't know jack shit about scifi or fantasy and hate over complicated lores and side stories, but love all this bullshit being tossed around now in Disney's Nu-EU. JUST

Blake Evans
Blake Evans

still whining about Aphra

In all seriousness, if you didn't accept the end once you heard Disney bought the franchise then you have only yourself to blame. RLM was right.

At least we can take solace in knowing the GOATs remain untarnished

waiting ten years for a cuck ending
only Gennedy loyalists defend that bullshit

Brayden Collins
Brayden Collins

RLM was right
hates Samurai Jack Season 5
Back to reddit.

Josiah Brooks
Josiah Brooks

RLM was right
/tv/index.html
/blacked/index.html
/anywherebuthere/index.html

Tyler Morris
Tyler Morris

Pleb Leddit Memeia
Kike Cucklasa

Leo Moore
Leo Moore

Tyber Zann did nothing wrong at all and the Consortium is the best.

Isaiah Allen
Isaiah Allen

year and a half from force awakens
hasn't accrued so much disdain for disney wars that your eyes reflexively glaze over on contact

Parker Cox
Parker Cox

RLM was right
SJ5 is "cucked" despite being hated by cucks and queers
Proceed to a local noose and then hang yourself.

Isaac Scott
Isaac Scott

Can anyone post some choice panels that showcase why Aphra Star is a shit, I need my daily dose of hate.

Jordan Rivera
Jordan Rivera

Anyone else find it funny that the only thing that doesn't look awful in that first picture is the clearly traced not-C3PO?

Christian Brown
Christian Brown

I think you misunderstand him, it wasnt a "cucked" ending (in this vernacular meaning the same as pozzed) but a "cuck" ending, where samurai jack gets cucked by time magic and dosnt get the girl

Wyatt Martinez
Wyatt Martinez

high quality SW model kits that don't cost an arm and a leg are finally a reality
can't buy any because that would mean giving money to The Mouse to keep pushing this shit
Fuck.

Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz

The writer that came up with this character is a huge SJW himself. His name is Kieron Gillen and you should read how insufferable his other works are, mainly Uber and The Wicked and the Divine.

Jordan Torres
Jordan Torres

What Harry Potter/Star Wars crossover is that last image from?

John Myers
John Myers

Why can I only find Interceptors and X-wings at retail?

Oliver Sanders
Oliver Sanders

I haven't read this shit, but I know it's it's shit because she was created by Kieron Gillen. This fucker used to write from Edge and help establish Rock, Paper, Shotgun. He gave the gaming journalism "New Games Journalism" which threw actual reviews away in favor of making it about the person writing it and allowing them to interject politics to reviews.
Most NGJ articles are not reviews of games in the traditional sense. They can instead be understood as being analogous to travel journalism, where the writer responds to subjective experiences presented to them by the game world, as well as interactions with other players online, real-world events surrounding gameplay, and other personal experiences and anecdotes which create a unique story.
He then went on to make a bunch of shitty hipster comics until he (of course) got picked up by Marvel, where he made more shitty comics. It's where he also gave the world the proto-Aphra, Ms America. A character who was originally just a generic, straight superhero was now super, amazing, can't-do-anything-wrong turbo lesbo, from a world or lesbos. This made him prime to be put on the Star Wars books where he put all his effort in creating the ultimate pandering manic pixie POC dyke and her totally not knock off evil Chewbacca, evil C3P0, and evil R2D2.
I hope this waste of oxygen gets run over by a truck of peace.

Elijah Stewart
Elijah Stewart

There's going to be a new woman character, and Lando, to overshadow him in his own film. Rules apply to new characters, white men can only be villians now.

Parker Lewis
Parker Lewis

I find really ironic that this SJW cuck is fine with writing extreme violent shit like Uber, and feature Nazis as protagonists.

Jose Adams
Jose Adams

You can tell they're fucking tracing that fucking droid with the high amount of detail he has compared to the rest of these fucking pudding faces.

Jason Martinez
Jason Martinez

You know what I see very little of? Women going around doing anything even remotely based on the types of heroics that you see depicted in these comics. We see people's politics reflected in our fiction without any trace of its actual reality. I hardly even read comics anymore. I just come by now and then to see how high or low the dumpster fire has gotten.

Aaron Johnson
Aaron Johnson

Because they only want to sell to the most casual of fucks. Selling any other obscure ship would be a "risk" for these jackasses because they're afraid normalfags won't know they're from Star Wars.

Kevin Stewart
Kevin Stewart

all these horrible things that I now know
Truly everything is going to shit.

Gavin Lee
Gavin Lee

Fuck it. I'm done. SW is 100% dead to me. I can't even read or watch the old shit now without being reminded of this new crap now.

Samuel Perez
Samuel Perez

Good thing the Vong don't exist anymore. A threat from elsewhere might be misconstrued for the current Islamic invasion of the west. No, we must still keep the people's mind on Nazis.

Bentley Perez
Bentley Perez

Be strong, triples-man. Be strong, or you shall not live to end this horror.

Cameron Cooper
Cameron Cooper

(checked)
Oh shit, it's going to be Fury Road all over again isn't it? He'll barely be in his own movie.
Brace for all the upgrades to the Falcon having been fitted by Lando, and actually built by Mary Sue. Young Han probably won't even be able to fly the thing until they train him.

Andrew King
Andrew King

"I am Grand Admiral Sloane. I am not some girlish assistant for you to paw or comfort or cajole. Touch me again, and I will have the offending limb removed, and all the nerves of the stump obliterated so that no robotic hand will ever respond to your commands."

Tyler Watson
Tyler Watson

Uber
Wicked and Divine

Christ almighty, those were such good concepts, especially WicDiv, why'd he have to come up them so he could butcher them?

Nolan Fisher
Nolan Fisher

Which Star Wars books are worth reading? I've only read I think two Infinities books

Mason Gray
Mason Gray

None of the current year Marvel books are worth glancing at.

Levi Bennett
Levi Bennett

I didn't ask if water was wet

Joshua Sanchez
Joshua Sanchez

They're going to kill him aren't they? Fuck why even bring him back at all if they were just gonna ruin his character and make him some lowly Grievous 2.0 who gets replaced by this

Everyone will likely say the Thrawn Trilogy which are easily the best books in the series. The X-Wing novels are also pretty damn worthwhile. I'm also fond of the Crystal Star but that's more of a divided taste right there so you'll either love it or hate it.

Ayden Peterson
Ayden Peterson

Purge is definitely worth it and probably my favorite attempt to bridge Episode III Anakin with Episode IV Darth Vader. Quinlan Vos: Jedi In Darkness, though the Dathomir chapter is very love it or hate it. The Boba Fett Omnibus is fun. Crimson Empire.

A lot of people recommend Shadows of the Empire but I found it to be nonsense The Rebels getting anywhere near Coruscant undetected to rescue Leia had my eyes rolling into the back of my head, not to mention the inconsistent force of a thermal detonator explosion is on full display here. Whether you like Knights of the Old Republic or not is entirely dependent on how much you liked KOTOR1. I loved KOTOR2 but I didn't think the comic was very good. Rogue Squadron was good for quite a while but I stopped reading it when every other comic I was reading went to shit. 2007 was a bad year

The Original Clone Wars comics were hit and miss, but anything with Grievous during that era is very worth it.

Kayden Ross
Kayden Ross

Aphra
I was honestly surprised Vader didn't force choke her for all her constant quips.

dat webm
God I love that. Never knew the guy who did Aku's voice was such a good singer.

James Harris
James Harris

Probably turns out every past accomplishment Han did somehow involved her.
She came up with plan to do the Kessel Run in 12 Parsecs
She put the under the floor hiding spots in the MF
The ship entry logs were written by her and were kept as a memento by Han who never used them and were accidentally found by Empire in ANH when they board the MF.
Somehow Chewbacca became part of the crew because of her.
Imagine if you were sitting down and talking with someone who might shoot you. Remember you can't shoot second, Han Solo, you have to always shoot first.

Benjamin Moore
Benjamin Moore

The new Thrawn book was godlike!
But why he is here? Because Disney need Zahn! Thrawn literally made Rebels watchable, while Timothy (in the new Thrawn book) gave actual layers for the imperial villains personality. That single book patched many bullshit in the Disney canon.
Plus Zahn little reworked his capabilities so he has less asspull moments.

At this very moment i doubt they will kill him in the cartoon. Maybe he will be banished by the emperor or some shit, but killing him? Greedy faggots like disney wouldn't burn easy cash!

And for the records: Some of the new canon comics and books aren't as bad as the sjw infested stonk wymyn ones. I think Disney make a better sorting on writers than Lucas did back then…

Ryan Campbell
Ryan Campbell

They gave that faggot a job writing for their comics during a time when they are trying their hardest to saturate the market in the Star Wars brand?.. Everyone involved in that hiring decision deserves turbo-AIDS

Lucas Harris
Lucas Harris

that cock pit is not glued properly

Kevin Anderson
Kevin Anderson

Literally he was the only reason I bothered to watch Rebels again but they'll still probably kill him because the original Thrawn novels just can't coexist alongside the new bullshit. He, Zahn and Luceno are the only damn good things to come out of Disney's shitty nu-EU which sadly ain't saying much.

Nicholas Nelson
Nicholas Nelson

Sup Holla Forums how do you like how my legacy is being handled in Star Wars Rebels?

Jose Brown
Jose Brown

Captain of the 501st
literally resign WEEKS before the war ends
Give command to the fucking Clone whose name references avatar the last air bender
Somehow get another commander to leave and meet a commando
end up fishing on a fucking AT-TE and join the rebels for some fucking reason since "lol screw da empire"

I really wanted Rebels to have an episode where he is confronted by Cody.

Also if anyone remembers that random Medic Trooper who pops up time to time in the show his name was "kix". Well apparently ol Kix boy is alive and well in TFA universe and is on a pirate crew.

Julian Russell
Julian Russell

Rex should have died

Austin Baker
Austin Baker

giving a fuck about the extended universe besides the 2D series that was released around Clone Wars where all pussy Jedi were suddenly badass.

Lucas Campbell
Lucas Campbell

You missed that they probably make him Gramps from the Battle of Endor…
They can't be this fool! Thrawn in this very minute bring ton of chash in their shitty mobile game (he is an exclusive rare character in a "f2p game"). Damn!
However i understand you pessimist. The fuckers hired del Toro and he will play a dark jedi instead of Thrawn… Fucking idiots!

Jeremiah Davis
Jeremiah Davis

Are you Chinese or some shit?

Adam Bailey
Adam Bailey

haha the EU is shit they said
it can only get better with disney they said

anti-eufags got BTFO

Jaxon Smith
Jaxon Smith

slav, sorry

Michael Long
Michael Long

Perhaps, but for every kyle katarn and revan there were 100 sun crushers, it needed the fat trimmed, but not like this!

Caleb Lee
Caleb Lee

Miss me yet?

Benjamin Scott
Benjamin Scott

Honestly, yes. I hate the generic sci-fi feel Disneywars has
Would anyone like to give some recommendations BTW for recommended old EU material for a macro like pic related? Plinkett's reviews really wet my thirst for wars

Nathan Turner
Nathan Turner

Reminder that Jedi were bad guys and Empire did nothing wrong.

Translation:
- Republic was a republic in name only. It was a de-facto a feudal military dictatorship. Senate was a talkie-talkie institution due to large numbers of senators and their general incompetence (typical senator - Jar-Jar Binks). Real power was in hands of self-appointed Jedi Council. Out of 12 council members, 5 were elected for life, other 4 - for a very long term, until a voluntary retirement. So, 9 - enough to vote on any decision.

- Despite having THOUSANDS of years, Jedi couldn't implement a federate law in the Republic and equalize the economic development. Kilometer-high skyscrapers on Coruscant, while Tatooine was a poor shithole for 4000 years.

- Anakin Skywalker was a slave. And he would've kept being a slave if not for a blind luck. Jedi did nothing to eradicate slavery.

- Corruption and high taxes drove the big business (Trade Federation) to such state that they decided to wage war against their own government.

- No counter-intelligence. Everything was a surprise to the Jedi: clone army, puppeteer Sith, order 66.

- Budget control was appalling. Clone army is going to cost federal budget quite a price. Government had no idea that untold trillions of credits went god knows where.

- Did Jedi had social base? During Palpatin coup, government had absolutely no loyal regiments. And population was indifferent.

- Empire made a pact with population - you don't go into politics, we don't touch you and provide economic growth. Such regimes are most effective.

- What was a political program of Rebels? Just one thing: overthrow the emperor and take back the power. Planets allied with them just hoped for key positions in new government, and Jedi wished to become establishment once again.

Hunter Barnes
Hunter Barnes

Old EU? Sure. Zahn books are an auto include. Shatterpoint. Darth Plagueis. The Bane trilogy's Path of Destruction. A lot of people really like the Dark Lord Trilogy, but I haven't gotten around to reading it.

For comics, I'll recommend Purge until the stars fuck off. Tales of the Jedi can be pretty good, Golden Age of the Sith was my favorite. Crimson Empire deserves a spot. I'm forgetting the name of that one comic with Luke's friend from Tatooine acting as an infantry officer under siege by the native population, but it was an awesome read. And Rogue Squadron.

Mason Phillips
Mason Phillips

Let go further pal!
- They didn't recuit new members in their club, but literally stealt children from their family.
inb4 that is bullshit, just read how some of the citizens tried to get back their kids from the Order; or how some family hidded their force-sensitive kids from the jedi
- Acted as a police force and forced planets to follow the republic corrupt dogmas (see General Griveous's people)
- Most of the dark jedi and sith came from the Order! And not versa! You rarely hear about sith who turn to light side, but it's good damn common when a jedi get disappointed by the corrupt Jedi Order and turn to the dark side. Coincidence? I THINK NOT!!
- They are warmongers, wolfs in sheep's clothings! The whole CIS vs. Republic could be prevented if they do a little investigate and peace talk instead of playing into Palpatine's hand.
- Most of the wars wasn't even about the Republic but about religion! The Jedi Order literally made a big red targetmark on the galactic citizen's back!

Luke was right in the trailer!

Bentley Ortiz
Bentley Ortiz

I would take 1000 sun crushers over vader having a snarky female sidekick, are you kidding me?

Carter Evans
Carter Evans

That in a nutshell aint it?

The worst of the EU came from uncreative fans. The worst of the NewU come from people who don't really care.

Just about all of NuU is written by people who just don't care or can't.

Owen Mitchell
Owen Mitchell

Doctor watsherfas Is the Hottest Star Wars Character

Luis Young
Luis Young

Which Star Wars books are worth reading?
translate.google.com/translate?hl=en&sl=ru&tl=en&u=http://hungry-ewok.ru/sw/all_books.htm
The ones under 'Lucas's canon'

Ethan Mitchell
Ethan Mitchell

Jedi did nothing to eradicate slavery
outside of Republic controlled systems aka. Duhhh…

Benjamin Ross
Benjamin Ross

Sheev was a true hero.

Charles James
Charles James

Aphra is terrible. There was/is a rumor going around that she is Rey's mother (with Luke being the father) and I'm like "…Well that would explain Rey's lack of personality and boring nature."

Yeah, Kieron Gillen introduced these "great' "new" "characters":
-Evil Chewie
-Evil R2D2
-Evil C3PO
-And Aphra, who is an anti-hero as far on the evil side as Han is on the good side. She's also a "doctor"/archaeologist. So, "Evil Han/Indiana Jones hybrid".

Lazy ass writing. Horrible stories. No concepts. Just random quips in which Aphra is always right.

Luke Cook
Luke Cook

- Despite having THOUSANDS of years, Jedi couldn't implement a federate law in the Republic and equalize the economic development. Kilometer-high skyscrapers on Coruscant, while Tatooine was a poor shithole for 4000 years.

Fucking Commies. Why does EVERYTHING have to be about fucking class wars with them?

Andrew Jenkins
Andrew Jenkins

The fuckers hired del Toro and he will play a dark jedi instead of Thrawn… Fucking idiots!
del Toro
he wil play a dark jedi
wut?

Elijah Hall
Elijah Hall

I thought he was supposed to play some politician?

Hudson Murphy
Hudson Murphy

well, it's pandering, isn't it? muh strong female who isn't afraid of no male sith lord

and then you get nu-male faggots like on halfchan Holla Forums that just see a hot waifu

Christian Morris
Christian Morris

Yeah, sure, because commies would care so much about unfair taxation of corporations.

Ryan Cooper
Ryan Cooper

why is it always the worst people getting the best jobs?

Xavier Collins
Xavier Collins

Nepotism I suppose. Well, think about it this way, at least you aren't surrounded by such cucks that work for Disney.

Liam Baker
Liam Baker

tfw no Warhammer-tier stories about the brotherhood between Republic troopers or Stormtroopers

Cameron Butler
Cameron Butler

I love how the Galactic Republic reflects the end of the SPQR.

Christopher Lewis
Christopher Lewis

Ironically Clones (which are supposed to be disposable people) are the closest we've gotten to that. Republic-era also is just criminally underused, especially since it's heavy on fan-favorite elements like Sith and Troopers.

Josiah Clark
Josiah Clark

In the Vanity Fair interview, director Ryan Johnson explained that Del Toro's mysterious character is unnamed in the movie but was known on set as "DJ." "You’ll see–there's a reason why we call him DJ," he said. Dern, meanwhile, is playing a resistance officer named Vice Admiral Holdo.
They told DJ is a short for his "role/job" which isn't Disc Jockey.
Most of the evidence point to being a dark jedi… And the most autistic fans say he could be Ezra (the aladdin guy) from Rebels. Are you ready to bite the end of your E-11 blaster rifle?

Leo Robinson
Leo Robinson

Should we just make our own Star Wars stories? We could vote on which ones should be considered canon, and maybe make autistic spin-off crossovers with Holla Forumsnrad.

Liam Nguyen
Liam Nguyen

Evil Chewie
Hello, Hanharr

Evil C3P0
HK-47

Evil R2-D2
That R4 unit? Or maybe G0-T0?

And we come to the crown jewel of shit characters…"Dr." Aphra. Fuck, Dr. Van Nostrand is a real doctor compared to her. Why isn't Vader chucking her out the airlock already? Or some bounty hunter shoot her in the head already?

Sebastian Gray
Sebastian Gray

I still have no idea how the Republic managed to survive with 1000 years or more of galactic peace despite having no fucking standing army. The Jedi aren't invincible and there's only so many of them. Say people decided to separate themselves from the Republic a couple of hundred years before the clone army was created, what the fuck was the Republic gonna do? Send them a sternly-worded letter? Send a hundred or so Jedi Knights to fight armies of millions?

Charles Powell
Charles Powell

Guessing the member states of the Republic have their own armies and wars within the Republic are mostly internal squabbles…or if we go by the Old Republic stuff, they have their own standing army..it just that they suck on toast.

Jayden Ortiz
Jayden Ortiz

I always thought the Droid army protected the Republic until Paplatine started the Civil War.

I kinda disgusted by the Bioware-EA bullshit where clone trooper and rebel like soldiers fighted against stormtrooper like sith troopers. No offense, the first and the second KOTOR give up some awesome things like the non-stormtrooper like sith troopers and droids. But everything else with the not-"an imperial star destroyer", not-"a deathstar" thingy were pure bullshit and lazyness!

Jackson Watson
Jackson Watson

Guessing the member states of the Republic have their own armies and wars within the Republic are mostly internal squabbles…

Which clearly didn't mean shit for the Republic as a whole, since they still needed the clone army to be able to wage a proper war against the Confederacy. Plus, it still doesn't negate the need for a proper standing army loyal only to the Republic and not to the millions of independent star systems and planets with their own goals and motives.

or if we go by the Old Republic stuff, they have their own standing army..it just that they suck on toast.

That just confused the shit out of me. So Bioware means to tell me that sometime in the past, the Republic had a proper standing army and then in the 1000 years or so of relative peace until the Clone Wars, they got rid of it because…?

I always thought the Droid army protected the Republic until Paplatine started the Civil War.

I'm pretty sure the Techno-Union didn't start manufacturing battle droids until the Trade Federation paid them for it. It also doesn't explain why the Republic doesn't simply try to offer the Techno-Union a better deal and more profits, thus luring them back to their side and depriving the Confederacy of their main source of military manpower.

Parker Robinson
Parker Robinson

Like I said, probably disbanded because they suck on toast…or some hippy senator decided to disband them because of some hippy crap..leaving on the Jedi to police the Republic…the constantly outnumbered Jedi Knights..

Oliver Davis
Oliver Davis

What if I told you that the FORCE wasn't some universal all permeating psychic gestalt/afterlife but was just generated from some old tree with some books in it?

Sebastian Ross
Sebastian Ross

Found the actual picture I was looking for.

Matthew Gutierrez
Matthew Gutierrez

This is so uncreative it hurts.

Wyatt Cruz
Wyatt Cruz

Holy shit
It's actually worse than midichlorians

Josiah Kelly
Josiah Kelly

P-please no!

Hudson Young
Hudson Young

Clone Commanders still serving with the Empire were pretty much sent to train new recruits a big example was Commander Cody hating every second of it and kept lamenting about the "good ol days" when clone troopers were the peak of the greatest military force the galaxy has ever seen only to get replaced by some hick from the outer rim.

but watch TCW if you want those kind of stories

Nicholas Foster
Nicholas Foster

Ever read the background to the Dagobah darkside cave?

Hudson Reyes
Hudson Reyes

mfw Jew Jew (((Abram))) is going to pull the exact same shit that Lucas did with the force in the Prequels but far, far worse this time

Oliver Cruz
Oliver Cruz

It works like the Valley of Jedi
yfw Rey gets a power boost

Levi Ramirez
Levi Ramirez

I know two so-called "people" who pretend they liked TFA and can't wait for the next movie
I can only imagine the color their livers will become after watching this turd and they will still have to pretend they like it because they speak of star wars with every breath they draw
I will be savoring their internal tears and they will be powerless to stop me
Let the good times roll

Benjamin Wright
Benjamin Wright

This is great. Not like as an idea, because it's fucking retarded, but I hope this is true. I want to watch the cunts who are crying "Star Wars is ours now boys!" try to defend this shit. I want to see them twist themselves into pretzels over how this is better than midichlorians.

Leo Jones
Leo Jones

With this guy?

David Mitchell
David Mitchell

Story time?

Jason Russell
Jason Russell

blowing your hate load far, far too early

I understand your desire for the failure of this film, but you must control yourselves. "Birthplace" is probably used figuratively. Like some old fart sat in that tree and meditated until he connected to the universe or some shit, then wrote a whole bunch of books about it to tell others how to grab their Cheetos from across the room.

You must learn to conserve your anger. Wait for more substantial prey to feast your rage upon.

Christopher Moore
Christopher Moore

Rey is told by Luke there is a creature in the sea consumed with hate. She eventually has to face it. It's a like giant sloth but it actually looks really neat. I'd say in the middle of the film, after she attacks it, she realizes the best way to defeat it is to get it on land where it will have trouble moving. Yes, she senses it's not real and after a moment, it changes into Anakin.This along with Finn and Rose rescuing some of the resistance only to be betrayed are two of the best scenes in the film only because they're so unexpected. You meet him early but he's actually an animal (no one knows this except Luke which is why when he appears "human" again, it's supposed to be a "gasp" moment we call it

Christopher Bennett
Christopher Bennett

So it's The Empire Strikes Back. Again.

I really wanna see normalfags defend this one.

Jason Rivera
Jason Rivera

That was a lot of retarded nonsense so it must be true.

Fucker you know for sure they will. Every kid will be like "best movie ever" and it'll become even more of a feminist icon film because Rey-sons.

Bentley Wilson
Bentley Wilson

So it's The Empire Strikes Back. Again.
You couldn't tell by the trailer?

Luis Perry
Luis Perry

I'd pick you over everything we have now. I wish I had never said those things about you. If I knew then what I know now, I would take back every word I ever said. I never imagined the day would come when I would say… I miss you…

Connor Perez
Connor Perez

I am

BEYOND MAD

Michael Campbell
Michael Campbell

Disney retcons the midichlorians shit
dead tree which is the source of The Force
movie's title is The Last Jedi
fucking Rey
Oh boy can't wait for Jesus Rey to sacrifice herself to the Kiln of the First Fire Force and relink the Fire Force to bring back the Jedi and restore the balance.

Parker Brooks
Parker Brooks

I'm starting to think that there's gonna be a lot of push for stupid changes and fixes to how the force works in this movie that will upset the remaining SW fanbase. But the media will defend by the movie by shielding it with claims of mahoganymisogyny/sexism of "wood enhanced" Mary Sue Rey and Carrie Fisher's last movie appearance so no one can't say anything bad about her/the film either.

Rey is told by Luke there is a creature in the sea consumed with hate
she realizes the best way to defeat it is to get it on land where it will have trouble moving.
You meet him early but he's actually an animal (no one knows this except Luke which is why when he appears "human" again, it's supposed to be a "gasp" moment we call it
Apart from the sloth comments, I'm getting that vibe of secret Sith lord Jar Jar Binks crazy theory from this.

Juan Garcia
Juan Garcia

Worst part is the idiotic masses won't even care whether its good or bad. The fanbase is nothing but braindead casuals whose biggest topics of discussions are shippings and youtube theories. They'll eat this shit up. TFA lowered the bar to horrifically low levels.

Alexander Torres
Alexander Torres

Carrie Fisher's last movie appearance so no one can't say anything bad about her/the film either.
Just when I think things can't possibly get worse, you have to go and remind me that there is no hope left for man.

Ryan Smith
Ryan Smith

the most obvious set up for a "dark side gives asian man larger cock" joke ever

Ethan Rivera
Ethan Rivera

tfw RO is better than TFA solely because it at least had an original story
Daily reminder that Katarn originally stole the plans.

Lincoln Harris
Lincoln Harris

I think the first to do this were the Star Wars Rebellion guys 1997. The Droids helping you manage your shit when playing the Empire were exactly that.

That game didn't really have a narrative, though. But still.

Dominic Johnson
Dominic Johnson

That's actually something I advocated for on /tg/ once, but the thread didn't go anywhere. My suggestion was just taking where the real canon left off and go from there.

I understand that people would like to discount stuff like the Vong, but building a consensus there would be near impossible.

Logan Peterson
Logan Peterson

The child inside me just died…

Brandon Hernandez
Brandon Hernandez

tfw that toy is more attractive than daisy ridley

Josiah Miller
Josiah Miller

be me
13yrs ago somehow manage to get hitched to wicked harpy and conceive child
teach him everything I know
showed him only the classics and the highest quality movies, books, toons, golden/silver age comics, animus and the best of the SWEU along with some Ewok shit and gave him lots of cool toys and even the shit I had as a kid and the stuff my dad collected
think I did decent job as he even has friends irl and a social life outside of fagbook and tumblr

everything seemingly fine until 2 years ago

made sure he avoids any and all signs of TFA like the plague through all manner of goofy fatherly antics and ice cream outings
mfw the fucking harpy takes him to see TFA behind my back because good grades
now suddenly telling me I lied to him about Han and Leia's kids and that "the EU isn't the true story, daddy. You should've known better"
gives back all the books and audio tapes I gave him
mfw years of raising and fatherly pride undone in an instant
be me now
tell him about this force tree bullshit
mfw he loves it
mfw his desktop background is a safety pin rebel logo
mfw he ships Poe x Finn
Where did I go so wrong?

Kevin Moore
Kevin Moore

still calls you daddy, meaning that you exposed him to high art before he can truly appreciate it
no control over your wife
That's where you fucked up.

Ian Butler
Ian Butler

*not only that but
calls you daddy
think I did decent job as he even has friends irl and a social life outside of fagbook and tumblr
Kids that young should be off the Internet.

Angel Gonzalez
Angel Gonzalez

Where did I go so wrong?
You trusted a 3D woman. Also, you should've divorced the 3D bitch after she gave you a child.

Nolan Richardson
Nolan Richardson

Kids that young should be off the Internet.
I said "outside of fagbook and tumblr" in that I didn't let him use the internet unsupervised and I usually only let him watch dumb animal videos or movie/cartoon clips. He didn't even have a computer, but the she-bitch thought it would be a good idea to "broaden his horizons" so she started letting him use her's some months back. I hate her so much. Fuck my life. Fuck my worthless life a thousand times. I am such a fucking failure. I work all those extra hours, and for what? Just to leave him in her clutches. I deserve worse than death for failing him.

Gavin Sullivan
Gavin Sullivan

Further proof that 2D>>>>>3D

Nathan Gray
Nathan Gray

Sorry, but the way you wrote it implied you let him on.
How are your conversations with your wife?
she-bitch
Kind of redundant honestly.

Grayson Martin
Grayson Martin

ships Poe x Finn
Well user, I've found your problem.

In all honesty user this isn't your fault. Teenagers are no taste cunts and nothing will ever change that. My nephew's a fucking Ubisoft Drone for fuck's sake. I don't even know how he found out about Ubisoft and I'm the only one in the family who plays vidya. Fortunately I'm the uncle so I get to make fun of him and his shit taste. And if your son is actually gay, science has conclusively shown it's the mother's fault for having a shit womb.

Jack Diaz
Jack Diaz

implying
I was 14 when I developed taste.

Angel Perez
Angel Perez

she-bitch
For some reason makes me think of a female kobold with two vaginas.

Joshua Gutierrez
Joshua Gutierrez

We can't all be as fast as you user.

Jacob Rodriguez
Jacob Rodriguez

I am going to need some proof before I believe this shit user. If it is true, talk this over with your wife. That or maybe it is time to introduce him to chans. I honestly used to be a big faggot before I discovered them.

Carson Cox
Carson Cox

"talk it over with your wife"
already giving him suggestions without grasping the entire situation
Bad idea.

Cooper Miller
Cooper Miller

Great. One more out of a million reason to hate my wife even more.

Thanks for the advice. Doesn't change shit now. It just look like he's into the pin thing and shipping faggotry because everyone at his school seems to be in on it, but fuck it I'm going to have to do something about her computer soon, maybe tonight. I'll let you all know how it goes. And sorry about your nephew. Ubisoft is a terrible way to go.

If it is true, talk this over with your wife.
Never works without things getting ugly. But fuck it. I'm not gonna put up with her shit anymore. That seems a bit too extreme. Maybe when he's older. For now I just gotta make sure he doesn't stumble anywhere like IGN, tumblr or something.

Gabriel Gray
Gabriel Gray

IF we are still assuming this story is true, it is clear that user and his wife have tow conflicting views on how his child should be raised. If it is not settled, his wife will just continue going behind his back with this kind of shit.

Juan Johnson
Juan Johnson

that is photoshopped, right?

Easton Reyes
Easton Reyes

I'm going to have to do something about her computer soon, maybe tonight
RIP in pepperoni user's marriage.

Sebastian Nguyen
Sebastian Nguyen

I hope you lie dude, because this is just too painful. A father should never experience such a betrayal by his own son…

If it's true then i think years later your son will regrets the things he just done and will be always proud about you tos how him the true star wars and not that shit what jew Jew vomited out.

Btw holy shit dude! You should divorce or put your wife out of way! Or the enxt thing you know is your son is marching with the fags and tumblr otherkins on a pride parade!

Hudson King
Hudson King

Obviously it's clear, but we don't know the possibilities. To the last sentence, I never said we shouldn't go about settling it. Patience, you.

Gabriel Jackson
Gabriel Jackson

If Redlettermedia enjoy this I think I'll go to Milwakee just to throw shit to their shitty warehouse.

Dylan Nelson
Dylan Nelson

>>For now I just gotta make sure he doesn't stumble anywhere like IGN, tumblr or something.
**
>>his desktop background is a safety pin rebel logo
>>he ships Poe x Finn
Assuming this is true, he likely already has a tumblr.

Julian Rogers
Julian Rogers

It's not.

Nathaniel Morales
Nathaniel Morales

Those jackasses hated Rogue One for all the same reasons they loved TFA. Wouldn't be surprised if they praise this new shitty sequel but go on to shit on another spinoff film for the same reasons they'll love the shitty sequel.

Ethan Lewis
Ethan Lewis

If this is true then this is probably the most retarded thing to ever come out of the movies.

I know this is considered the old EU Legends so it probably isn't canon but I remember reading somewhere the origin of the jedi or just force users in general is when all the different races in the galaxy found these pyramid ships on their planets and boarded them. It took them to Tython where they could study the force or something.

Jack Fisher
Jack Fisher

Would you enjoy if the sequel trilogy moved on from the empire and it was about how the dominant power base no longer exists and civilization fragments like EVE?

Kevin Fisher
Kevin Fisher

Thankfully it's not canon.
Did see one episode though, where they had to recover an important package for Lando on Cloud City and also fix the carbonite freezing chamber. At the end, Lando reveals the important package contains his cape and clothes so he finally doesn't need to borrow Han Solo's clothes based off that scene from ESB.

I feel like I remember seeing a version of this that was like:
US healthcare budget $300 million
Divided by 300 million Americans = 1 million each for personal healthcare.
healthcare problem solved!

Ryder Reyes
Ryder Reyes

Wait for him to grow up a little more, user.

Connor Smith
Connor Smith

Have you tried coming clean to him about what you did and why you did it?

Carter Lewis
Carter Lewis

That would be interesting suppose. That way you wouldn't have to deal with all the EU stuff that happens after Return of the Jedi like Thrawn, Yuuzhang Vong, Darth Caedus and etc.

Brody Edwards
Brody Edwards

mfw his desktop background is a safety pin rebel logo

Cooper Brown
Cooper Brown

Katarn originally stole the plans
Katarn did steal the plans nigga.

Jeremiah Perry
Jeremiah Perry

Katarn
Who?

Alexander Cox
Alexander Cox

A lot of people stole the Death Star plans.

Alexander Ortiz
Alexander Ortiz

Didn't Dash Rendar steal the plans too?
Is there anyone who didn't steal the plans?
I get the feeling they were just handing the plans out at the Death Star souvenir shop.

Oliver Ortiz
Oliver Ortiz

How many fucking plans did they need before the rebels got to the conclusion of, DS exhaust port + proton torpedo = ka-booooom!

Death Star Souvenir Shop
Manned by a lonely Stormtrooper shopkeeper who just wants to go to target practice with the rest of his buddies.
Nope got tricked into Souvenir Shop duty.
Many boring hours go by after cleaning the Darth Vader bobbleheads, straightening up the Vader snowglobes, lining up the "I went to the DS and all I got was this lousy T-shirt'' on the shirt racks and fiddling with souvenir DS pens and many other wonderful souvenirs.
A customer finally walks in
Or more accurately runs in and hides behind table of toy Tie Fighters w/ sound and light up functionality.
The bearded individual finally stands up and looks around
Jumps back in shock at the novelty Darth Vader mask
Probably because they were recently polished and on a 60% off sale, anyone would do the same.
Store clerk begins the art of the deal and shows him the many fine wares.
Plush toy light sabers, Empire navy buildable ship models, Empire calender's, light up Emperor night light, DS souvenir mugs, nothing seems to interest this potential customer.
Even bringing up, "this is the perfect gift for that special someone on Life Day" spiel doesn't work.
Customer keeps checking over his shoulder to the store entrance for some reason.
In desperation, Stormtrooper store clerk brings up the poster collection, including Empire vehicle cross sections
Customer's eyes light up when he sees a cross section of a big "circle.
Clerk couldn't recognize the Empire design but it looked a lot like a "small moon."
Tries to ring it up at the cash register
Doesn't find a barcode on the back of it, just the words UPDATED PLANS.
Fuck it, just sell it for the same amount of Imperial credits as the others posters regardless of the different fancy blueprint material it's made out of.
Customer happily leaves the store with his new poster in hand.
He turns around and does a "slow wave" of his hand goodbye to the clerk to just "forget the time spent doing this sale and go straighten up that shirt rack"
Clerk begins immediately straightening up shirt rack.
Thus once again begins the boredom of working in the DS SS.
While the day felt a lot shorter than normal, he only remember's to never be tricked by an abbreviation ever again.

Aaron Richardson
Aaron Richardson

I got it, I got it. I know Dash took the plans of the the Death Star 2 because I know that Shadows of the Empire took place somewhere during and after Empire Strikes Back but just before Return of the Jedi. When did Kyle stole the plans?

Isaac Brown
Isaac Brown

Ah the Deathstar's plans!
Remember guys how we used to joke about how it was an inside job? Guess what old fools! Joke on us! :(

Connor Reyes
Connor Reyes

I hate you so much.

Samuel Hughes
Samuel Hughes

stealing or protecting the Death Star plans has become a playable feature in Star Wars video games such as Star Wars: X-Wing, Star Wars: Dark Forces, Star Wars: Battlefront II, Star Wars: Empire at War, and Star Wars: Lethal Alliance.

I believe until the Disney buyout they were going with the idea that the Death Star planes were split into several parts. So they had to steal them all to get a full read out.

Nolan Martinez
Nolan Martinez

no matter how much people hate the EU, you can't deny the fact that Luke actually having a proper new Jedi order was satisfying. I mean, after all the empire bullshit, it was well deserved.

Benjamin Hernandez
Benjamin Hernandez

Death Star planes were split into several parts. So they had to steal them all to get a full read out.
You know that would be a reasonable explanation.

Thats what pisses me off so much about The force Awakens. It returns things to the status quo of the original trilogy rather than properly continuing the story.

Juan Hill
Juan Hill

The Republic is still a corrupt mess, instead of being a fragline alliance which trying to not repeat the mistakes of the past
Rebels are still rebels just this time they are called Resistance.
the Empire still running with dark force users instead of dropping them like they did in the EU
The Jedi Order is still fucked up, Luke literally repeated the mistakes of the Old Jedi Order
Force users still hidding, "help us Obi Wan Kenobi Luke you are our last hope"
There is still an "Empire" at large, not loyalist Empire Remaint fighting for the last with limited resources
No Warlords; everyone grouped under the First Order (which is funny since they genocided they own people because post-humus Palpatine said so)
Man the Last Jedi really need to show more about the current state of the Galaxy because this is just ridiculous! And no! The Aftermath books are maybe well-written and good, but STILL has little information and they futhewr reinforce the old status co which is unacceptable!

P.S.: I don't know you guys but i pretty glad for that Disney dropped those idiot from the Han Solo movie. The mouse is right Han never was a fucking "lol so randumb Jump street like character". Atleast that movie wouldn't be absolute horseshit… just simple horseshit

Ethan Clark
Ethan Clark

You've failed as a father, now you have only one option left.

Connor Bell
Connor Bell

You fucked up and your wife is a cunt. Guess that's typical of marriage nowadays.

Isaac Edwards
Isaac Edwards

The Aftermath books are maybe well-written and good
Nigger, you best be joshin'.

P.S.: I don't know you guys but i pretty glad for that Disney dropped those idiot from the Han Solo movie. The mouse is right Han never was a fucking "lol so randumb Jump street like character". Atleast that movie wouldn't be absolute horseshit… just simple horseshit
wut?

Camden Carter
Camden Carter

Han Solo movie lost it's director. He's hoping that it gets canned completely. As are most real/former Star Wars fans.

Camden White
Camden White

Yeah, it's like wanting an Ant-Man movie without Edgar Wright

Eli Mitchell
Eli Mitchell

See And like it or not the Aftermath books done a pretty decent work to clean up the shitstain what Jew Jew Abrams done. Or atleast after the first book its got better later… for me…
Even with current year characters Aftermath nowhere near to break me as much as Crystal Star did back then.

Evan Williams
Evan Williams

She calls him daddy
I was honestly surprised Vader didn't force choke her for all her constant quips.
He gives her force spanks

Connor Powell
Connor Powell

You mean she became a lesbian because noone was enough rough to her in the nu-male galaxy to spank the homo out of her? Thats hot!

Aaron Rivera
Aaron Rivera

Of course, that's how it normally goes. Remember to spank girls regularly kids, they are craving a firm male hand or they will turn into lesbos!

Luke Walker
Luke Walker

so thats why they need space diapers

Kayden Brown
Kayden Brown

What makes me laugh is that the directors jumped shipped with three weeks left of filming left, guessing they realized Disney was gonna end up screwing them over badly when it came to their version vs their shitty PC correct happy happy horseshit vision.

Then again, making a prequel movie based on Han Solo was already a stupid fucking idea.

Gabriel Flores
Gabriel Flores

All Lucas needed was people to filter out his ideas, I almost feel bad for him if the articles about him getting bullied out of the license were true. He had the gall to make some bad movies and invoked the ire of legions of neckbeards, and this is what we got. I wonder if the people who shat on him are the ones eating this shit up. The EU had a lot of bad, but the good was pretty good.
KoTOR movies fucking never

Robert Richardson
Robert Richardson

He was a bad movie maker.

But his IDEAS where fucking great. If only lucas could get an editor. If only somebody had nads to stop some stuff.

Think about what he was planning:
A Well Liked nobody character in part 1 was secretly the manipulator all along
Jar Jar was a turd of course but its such a neat IDEA
The Clone wars where CAUSED by the Jedi and they where the ones that ended up destroying themselves
The clones where poorly handled and they didn't make much sense but such a good idea.

Andrew Allen
Andrew Allen

I'm just curious but with Jar Jar how would you explain Palpatine being in charge?

Logan Garcia
Logan Garcia

Jar Jar is the one that gave Palpatine power.

Carter Price
Carter Price

I like one video that shows Jar jar sorta mimicking what people say and do before they do it, implying that he could have been force manipulating behind the scenes.

With precognition and the like, he could have been behind it all along. If that was the original plan of course.

Oliver Scott
Oliver Scott

Apparently Robot Chicken said it was when Lucas wrote episodes. Then reddit tried to take credit for saying it was their theory

Evan Carter
Evan Carter

Like my point is with just a little few touchups. Some MINOR dialogue changes, and some cleaning up of stupid actions the Prequels would be like:

"Man the original 3 were great, but the prequels were like massive mind fucks subverting everything we ever knew!"

But the sequels just are what they are. Repetition, soulless and lifeless. It's shot better and the CGI is better done. But that's about it.

They don't have a creative bone in their bodies.

Kevin Parker
Kevin Parker

Better than nothing I suppose.

Julian Nelson
Julian Nelson

She calls him daddy

Camden Ward
Camden Ward

Why so triggered?

Luke Flores
Luke Flores

le triggered ecksdee
Can we retire this fucking term please, this shit is like salty from a few years back, now it's a pejorative synonym for disagreeing with something or upset, nothing to do with imagery triggering imaginary PTSD.

Lincoln Peterson
Lincoln Peterson

Why so triggered?

Brayden Bell
Brayden Bell

You seem pretty triggered, m8

Brody Hernandez
Brody Hernandez

What do you expect from contrarian teenagers on the internet?

Nolan Ortiz
Nolan Ortiz

the not-rebellion and the not-empire

this is even stupider than the jedi order getting BTFO'd again
continue the story and take calculated risks? but user, that might not make as much moolah

Owen Baker
Owen Baker

It's debatable though if the story needed to be continued

Nathan Jackson
Nathan Jackson

Don't worry, Sonic Mania is coming out in a few months

Oliver Green
Oliver Green

Teenagers for the most part are dumb, in a few years he'll see it for the vapid shit it is.

Samuel Robinson
Samuel Robinson

Can we talk about how Kennedy is apparently so against Star Wars humor that doesn't sell merchandise to children? Honestly antidotes like these make her sound very insufferable.

archive.is/A56Ms

Bentley Clark
Bentley Clark

Strange this doesn't seems so bad at the first look… Care to enlight me on this topic? Why throwing out the silly trash is bad?

Andrew Reed
Andrew Reed

Thowing a temper tantrum over things people put time and money into, just because they don't fit your subjective vision? Sounds a lot like George refusing to give in the original movie versions the treatment they deserve. Least they could do is let them leak and THEN disown it, like the holiday special.

Leo Howard
Leo Howard

Why throwing out the silly trash is bad?
implying it wasn't the light hearted humor mixed with drama and action that kept Star Wars golden
actually wanting edgier and grittier nu-SW by Disney
Phantom Menace overdid it on the comedy, but the other films outside of III had a healthy dose of it. Next you're gonna tell me you actually enjoyed the new gritty DC films, ya fag.

Hudson White
Hudson White

le triggered maymay
actually liking Aphra
Fuck, it truly is summer. I honestly hope you're just a dedicated shitposter because this is just 4/co/ levels of Disney's Star Wars-worshipping autism.

Justin Anderson
Justin Anderson

These "death troopers" will always be a poor man's dark trooper. Loads of people have tried to push black-painted stormtroopers for years even before Disney and it always looked bland and unappealing as fuck.

The other two actually look all right but they're still just tacticool scout trooper rehashes with different helmets. Disney would have been better off using these designs for TFA's future empire troops instead of those weird Apple iTroopers we ended up with.

I guess we won't ever get to see a trooper costume with a unique silhouette on the big screen now. The creativity just isn't there to make anything that's a different shape and height than the average stormtrooper.

Anthony Parker
Anthony Parker

That armor is nice but side by side with the minimal classic Stormtrooper looks too busy

Easton Gonzalez
Easton Gonzalez

I made a fair question, one user gave a cleary answer. And you just come here, copy-paste what he answered and act tough.
You not need to fit in this much leddit…

Hudson Ortiz
Hudson Ortiz

This armour looks very Fallout-y, I wish more detail went into the tech of SW like that and even with all the advanced Stormtroopers always felt more like goons. I know they're trying to fix that in new wars with certain scenes but having the GCW AGAIN, just feels wrong. Why is it so hard for these long runners to move forward instead of just rehashing and "fleshing out" previous stories, the empire in the sequel trilogy should be like /pol/ users or something, not still a significant powerbase. With it gone, another one would take it's place and oppose whatever govt the rebels set up. It's not hard.(On the tech, maybe that's an in universe thing because armour made your character suck ass in SWG, and you had to accommodate specifically for it).

Hudson Moore
Hudson Moore

In that armour defence it was made ways before Fallout… Phase 1 and 2 were droids, Phase 3 (which was more a power armour) never leave the assembly line thanks to Katarn. Phase Zero was technically crippled clone troopers turn into cyborgs (most of them commited suicide so they dropped the "let's make cheap cíborgs concept").

Death Troopers currently pretty okay in the new cannon. They rarity is explained well. Vader never used bodyguards beside only his favourite battalion. Royal Guards were more of Palpatine and other high ranking politcs thing.

The only orbital bullshit i see currently is the new Battlefront 2 elite squad which literally wear tie pilot suit. Like wtf! THIS IS LAZYNESS ON FUCKING STEROID, DEAR EA!

Hunter Gomez
Hunter Gomez

Do you rike dogs?

Ian Reed
Ian Reed

people like Aphra said nobody
How about you actually read the thread you retard first before you say shit faggot?

Luke Young
Luke Young

Disney would have been better off using these designs for TFA's future empire troops instead of those weird Apple iTroopers we ended up with.

shitty patchwork low budget empire, ergo less armor for troops

seems like an obvious idea, but JJ is a fucking hack

Chase Robinson
Chase Robinson

have you seen halfchan Holla Forums?
they're okay with all the dumb shit that involves chicks, they're all over Ahsoka
fucking waifufags

Luke Murphy
Luke Murphy

To be fair, the First Order is what remained of the Empire, which threw it's self in to the unknown regions to escape the New Republic, making it just a shittier version of the old EU's Remnant.

Thomas Brooks
Thomas Brooks

To be fair
This phrase needs to die.

Brody Gray
Brody Gray

True I can see that. Though since they're doing a sequel they might as well do it in a way that works rather than just aping A New Hope.

William Parker
William Parker

You don't see men doing it either ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jason Gomez
Jason Gomez

Well he tried to throw her out the airlock because prior she asked to die painlessly, so Vader wanted something painful.

Dominic Fisher
Dominic Fisher

The old EU was literal garbage anyway.

Austin Sanchez
Austin Sanchez

To be fair, that was kind of harsh.

Jayden Williams
Jayden Williams

You're literal garbage.

Hudson Fisher
Hudson Fisher

Alright.

Mason Nguyen
Mason Nguyen

I'd rather have a hundred Sun Crushers than a single TFA.

Oliver Reyes
Oliver Reyes

These Star Wars comics sound really bad. Apparently they're Marvel's top seller. LOL.

Austin Ward
Austin Ward

They turned a space ship into a mary sue.

Bentley Long
Bentley Long

According to the leaked assets, Battlefront 3 was going in the direction of shabbier and more personalized equipment with their remnant stormtrooper models. Pic related.

It's weird how fast that happened. Star Wars never used to be about waifus.

Lucas really fucked up when he decided to push Ahsoka hard with Clone Wars and now we have to put up with the mess of waifufaggotry it's left behind. I don't get what people see in her, to me she only became an interesting character about an episode or two before she left the show and then that was it.

There's a huge market of people who will buy anything that has the Star Wars brand on it, no joke. We're not going to see these comics cancelled any time soon.

James Young
James Young

Bollux!

Grayson Collins
Grayson Collins

I see your wank and raise you a jizz
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Jizz

Hunter Thomas
Hunter Thomas

Sup Holla Forums, miss me yet?

Carter Lee
Carter Lee

and TFA gave us Darth Ma'Rey Sue.
What's the bet he'll appear in "The Edge Awaken" anons?

Gabriel Phillips
Gabriel Phillips

How about this?
starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Soon_Bayts

Soon Bayts was created by Randy Stradley, and first appeared in the comic mini-series Jedi Council: Acts of War. In it, the character appears in a minor supporting role. Bayts' name was intended as a pun on the term "masturbates"; a pun later illustrated by Haden Blackman in Star Wars: Obsession. Stradley had initially planned to use the name as a practical joke on Comic Editor at Lucas Licensing Sue Rostoni, who would often put the word "Master" in front of any Jedi's name. Stradley created Bayts as an unimportant tertiary character simply to play a joke on Rostoni, but the character made it through to publication.

Following Blackman's use of the character, Comic Editor at Lucas Licensing Sue Rostoni would publicly lament that she was not in charge of editing at the time of Bayts' creation. In Star Wars: Obsession, Bayts is once again used as a minor supporting character. Perhaps due to the nature of Soon Bayts' name, references to him outside Jedi Council: Acts of War and Star Wars: Obsession have been virtually non-existent, save for the mention of him in Abel G. Peña's Star Wars Insider article, Unknown Soldier: The Story of General Grievous, and an entry in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia.

Asher Johnson
Asher Johnson

The living mountain is back bro!
There is a guy with a youtube channel (Star Wars Explained) which sum up the new cannon fuckery within 4-5 minutes. If you don't want to spend money and hours to poison your brain with the new faggotory, than i recommend to check out his videos.

And yeah, yeah… i know it's jewtube and e-celebs, but fuck it. Rather suffer for a few minutes than spend penny on this wickedness…

Julian Nguyen
Julian Nguyen

Dark Empire is rad as hell

Aaron Ramirez
Aaron Ramirez

Dark Empire managed to make all Superweapons seem non threatening. It also was an acid trip of pulling shit out of it's ass.

Caleb Cox
Caleb Cox

Hey, a TIE crawler. You never see them.

Jackson Jackson
Jackson Jackson

yfw the Empire created two separate tanks based on the Tie cockpit.

Carter Hughes
Carter Hughes

probably because they look retarded

Anthony Barnes
Anthony Barnes

Holy shit i did never noticed the little stormtrooper head in the Tie-Mauler!

Dominic Murphy
Dominic Murphy

These are actually droids

Hunter Bell
Hunter Bell

there's so many jokes to made about sorrow and eu fans I don't even know where to start

Ian Carter
Ian Carter

I remember George shilling Ahsoka in interviews, (and I think he said she was 11 in one, the fucking perv) but let's not forget Filoni. I'm not sure who's ultimately responsible.

Lucas Butler
Lucas Butler

Probably network heads who wanted a kid appeal character

Adrian Williams
Adrian Williams

This should come to no surprise, but it was confirmed that the brainthrust behind TFA didn't even have long term plans for the franchise after they were done finishing the movie.

Josiah Williams
Josiah Williams

brainthrust

Are you saying they're fuckheads?

Wyatt Lopez
Wyatt Lopez

It doesn't matter how you are in one thing everyone agree on this miserable planet:Jew Jew Abrams was a mistake

Luke Stewart
Luke Stewart

New details emerge from the set of the troubled Han Solo movie
Here is a kinda funny hollywoodrepoter article about what kind of a mess is the new han Solo movie!

hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/star-wars-han-solo-movie-firing-new-details-behind-phil-lord-chris-miller-exit-1016619
(I can't archive shit, but broke the link for you guys)

And for curiosity: When the two faggot were droped out the crew of the Han Solo spinoff broke into applause following the announcement of Ron Howard as director. Of course this would kill the career of those fags, so Disney "corrected" this statement… wew

Lol So Randumb Faggots are BTFO
The Mouse maybe greedy but not that stupid to repeat the Jew Jew Abrams…

Jaxon Campbell
Jaxon Campbell

I was being sarcastic.

Benjamin Gonzalez
Benjamin Gonzalez

So it was JJ's empty box of mysteries after all. I would feel sorry for the guy who got left with the job of explaining everything for the next movie, but the best he could allegedly come up with is some force-tree and chosen one bullshit so fuck him.

It seems like nobody involved in this knows what they are doing. Nobody had any plans or ideas until after they were given a work schedule and release date. Disney bought Lucasfilm and said "make Star Wars movies" so now their whole team is frantically throwing as much shit at the wall until something finally sticks.

Alexander Ortiz
Alexander Ortiz

Episode 9

It was all a dream
Luke just fell asleep in the cockpit of his X-wing while R2 was driving
apparently there has been a secret sith who has been using the force to send terrible stories with ill-conceived diversity-hire characters directly into Luke's mind
far from being a rehash of A New Hope or Empire, the movie is more or less just about Luke travelling the galaxy searching for the evil sith, visiting colorful locales, meeting interesting characters and being an old, old man while he does it; he can't fight like he used to, but he still has some tricks up his sleeve
while there still are some problems that people have to deal with, it is generally clear that everything is a lot better now that the galaxy has been liberated from the empire
eventually Luke confronts the sith who has finally reached the end of his rope and is desperate as fuck
Luke walks into the room, still old as fuck, and just looks at him for a while
he drops his lightsaber to the ground, kicks it away and says
"If you strike me down…I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine."
the sith wastes no time, lunging across the room and cutting Luke's suddenly empty cloak in half as it flutters to the floor
cut to a young boy waking up suddenly, as if from a stressful nightmare
just as he wakes up, a toy falls to the ground, not longer being levitated by the boy's sub-conscious force powers
his dad comes in to check that he's okay
the dad is Han
The End

Enough pottery?

Luke Nguyen
Luke Nguyen

The Mouse was stupid enough to hire these retards in the first place without knowing what they were going to do next. They make comedy movies ffs. What did they think they were going to do?

On the flip side, the media seems to have been angered by this move because it just became obvious to them that cinematic universes have no place for creative freedom and directors are forced to work within a set of rules and guidelines.

Jacob Roberts
Jacob Roberts

The Mouse was stupid enough to hire these retards in the first place without knowing what they were going to do next. They make comedy movies ffs. What did they think they were going to do?
I guess "evolve as filmmakers"

Aaron Williams
Aaron Williams

No wonder it all feels like such a half-assed messed.. Mein Gott, what were they thinking?

Dylan Clark
Dylan Clark

That probably would have worked if they were making a stand-alone movie instead of a spin-off to a larger franchise.

Stupid kikes were lazy. They were just as stupid as the ones as Fox when making Fant4stic, the difference is that they were sitting on a gold-mine that was gonna make money regardless due to the brand's name alone.

Jayden Cox
Jayden Cox

I hope RLM and their fanboys fuckbois are enjoying the fruits of their labours.

James Adams
James Adams

I miss when the franchise was dictated by GL's mood swings

Grayson Turner
Grayson Turner

what are his sources?
its not like i dont believe him because this seems likely

Joseph Johnson
Joseph Johnson

He's "Hollywood"

Nathan Sanchez
Nathan Sanchez

Lucas looks like he knows he's about to make the biggest mistake of his life.

Anthony Hernandez
Anthony Hernandez

biggest mistake
He made mad money off it and is now retired.

Jackson James
Jackson James

Look at his face user, does he look happy?

Jordan Price
Jordan Price

They could have used her more sparsely. Filoni fell in love with her, though.

Daniel Garcia
Daniel Garcia

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Hudson Nelson
Hudson Nelson

I remember how happier I was before twitter. Just barely, but at least I knew happiness once in a while.

Sebastian Edwards
Sebastian Edwards

He donated the majority of it to the Department of Education which they then lost in tranny bathroom lawsuits. Convenient ain't it? He then compared him selling his creation to the obviously corrupt hacks at Disney as selling his creation to slavery, regretting it despite it obviously being a retarded move on his part, and now Disney is making way more money with his brand than the paid for.

Josiah Hernandez
Josiah Hernandez

Fucking called it. The movie was nothing but the brainchild of corporate suits chemically designed as the ultimate formula to make more money with no real heart or quality writing behind it, yet the new mindless fanbase will still deny it up and down. Only thing worse was politicizing the Star Wars factions and killing the entirety of the EU. Now supporting the rebels means you're a DNC liberal or tumblr user who likes safety pins and supporting the Empire means you're a literal neo-nazi.

Jaxson Brooks
Jaxson Brooks

Oh great, more Apple aesthetics…

Dylan James
Dylan James

le funny name = EU as a whole bad
uses shit from the Ewoks kiddie spinoff as mainline EU examples
uses Palpatine clones as bad examples
le Jaxxon and Sun Crusher maymays
You Disney shills aren't even trying. If you're going to push your shit meme, at least admit Disney's new movies and shitty New EU is just as bad, if not worse.

And Disney made two movies and a new animated series about Mary Sues. How's that an improvement?

Michael Flores
Michael Flores

he wouldn't ride in a Tie Crawler

Isaiah Gonzalez
Isaiah Gonzalez

Nice meme lad

Evan Nguyen
Evan Nguyen

EU was predominantly good. It had its shitty moments, but was overall good. Shit load of good information out there too.

Doubt it? Look up Dantooine on the legends portal of Wookieepedia. More information there than anything in the "canon" portal, and it was a minor planet.

Robert Miller
Robert Miller

You should have sex with him.

Xavier Murphy
Xavier Murphy

Looks like they're turning Anakin into a tranny.

Isaiah Nelson
Isaiah Nelson

Anakin was always the most attractive Jedi
Ahsoka a shit

Jordan Davis
Jordan Davis

That's just some Tumblr/DeviantArt, right? Right?

Luke Sanchez
Luke Sanchez

It's the newest cartoon. Featuring every main Star Wars girl.

Chase Reyes
Chase Reyes

Wait what? This is official art? I thought it was from Deviantart! Who the fuck did they hire to make this shit?

Sebastian Williams
Sebastian Williams

This is just lazyness…
Shameless lazyness…
Lazyness which anger me!

Jordan Flores
Jordan Flores

This is the future of Star Wars user.

Daniel White
Daniel White

Lol. Star Wars Disney Princesses.

Asaaj Ventress BEST GRIL fite me cunt

Nicholas Evans
Nicholas Evans

tanks typically have the heaviest armor in the front.
huge window as front.
hmmmm

Brody Lopez
Brody Lopez

This looks like the same (probably Canadian) studio that does that god-awful DC Heroines cartoon where they all look like Barbies, because the intent is to shill merch even harder than usual.

Cooper Campbell
Cooper Campbell

Umm… ehm… since when do Zone cartoons for Diseny… eh… i just asking?
keep quiet or they will involve her to this disgrace

Andrew Hill
Andrew Hill

I see you are a man of taste as well.
Thank god Jew Jew and the other writers have forgotten she exists.

Xavier Young
Xavier Young

Angsty teen goth Asaaj adventures when?

And angsty riot grrl teen Aurra Sing

Dominic Jenkins
Dominic Jenkins

Oh, now her too? Why i have a feel we both followed a once respected artist from the late 90's?

Brody Jackson
Brody Jackson

You can thank Stoklasa and his "reviews" for this.

Eli Fisher
Eli Fisher

I have no words to describe my disgust. Its all only made worse by the fact that nu-SW fags will defend this to the bitter end.

Levi Lee
Levi Lee

Ahsoka a shit
I'll never understand the popularity she eventually got. Bitch was only created by Lucas for the kiddie film so kids would have someone to relate to.

Owen Long
Owen Long

Wait, just the star wars girls? So no Luke? Anakin? Yoda? Kyle? AK-47? Why the fuck does Disney Star Wars hate men so much now in a brand that was mostly populated and kept alive by lowly male virgins for decades before the "lol so nerdy bazinga" trend came around?

Caleb Turner
Caleb Turner

Becuz stronk womyn, goy.

Logan Flores
Logan Flores

I'd rather they didn't touch my bald waifu, lest they make her worse. I still can't believe Lucas changed her into a Dathomir bitch…

Shabby Blue
Thanks. For a second there I felt young again.

Angel Walker
Angel Walker

Pretty sure that Filoni is the man responsible for both of those.

Lucas Moore
Lucas Moore

Filoni
We now know the name of the greater evil that must be vanquished.

Nathaniel Foster
Nathaniel Foster

The Force is Female™! :^)

Lucas Parker
Lucas Parker

Marvel heads in change

Brandon Barnes
Brandon Barnes

Remember when Kennedy said the Ewoks probably couldn't carry a movie?

Brandon Ortiz
Brandon Ortiz

The Ewoks movie was actually pretty good. Now stop posting your e-celeb shit.

William Harris
William Harris

DING DONG
THE WITCH IS DEAD

Isaac White
Isaac White

Does this mean there are heroes left in man?

John Cruz
John Cruz

No, it means you're 8 months behind.

Landon Howard
Landon Howard

Darth Vader a villain? Fucking doubt it. He's a damn hero.

Killed the SJW Jedi, kill the SJW smuggler/criminal, built an Empire that would be the greatest in the Galaxy, and on top of all that, he tried his best to be a good father.

Lucas Powell
Lucas Powell

Is she acually dead? Doesn't she have a solo title? I don't believe for one second they would actually kill off a average female character let alone their precious poc queer bestest at everything OC dountsteel.

Michael Garcia
Michael Garcia

The evil droids saved her gay ass…

Jack Diaz
Jack Diaz

Really?

Aaron Sullivan
Aaron Sullivan

Yeah the Vader drop her out is an old story. Her current comics is about force vampires… It's so bad even lighthearted sw fans can't stand it…

Brody Flores
Brody Flores

And the rest of her body?

Or is she being resurrected like Grevious/Vader/that Calimari Grevious-like guy as some sort of cyborg with her gay ass being the only organic part?

Her current comics is about force vampires… It's so bad even lighthearted sw fans can't stand it…
So this SW comic and vampires have something in common then? They both suck.

Nathaniel Rivera
Nathaniel Rivera

So this SW comic and vampires have something in common then? They both suck.
Yet you blew me away with that one.

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