Batman Getting Hitched

Wyatt Hernandez
Wyatt Hernandez

archive.is/0HpYA

Man, Tom King is really running out of ideas isn't he?

Also, fuck DC for trying to shill Catwoman at Batman's expense. She's a supporting character for him, not the other way around.

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archive.is/0HpYA

Eli Bailey
Eli Bailey

It's already in the Rebirth thread, you don't need a new one.

That said, nigger DC has been pushing for Batman and Catwoman since the late 80's. In Earth-2 they are married, and they were the parents of Huntress.

If not Catwoman as his wife, who? She's been the only female who routinely gives a shit about Bruce's existence outside of the cape and cowl.

Joseph Ross
Joseph Ross

because we don't know how to tell good stories, we're going to temporarily have Batman get married
I can't bring myself to even pretend to care about this. Batman isn't an actual character with a personality anymore, anyways. Seriously, he's just a fucking meme. There hasn't been a good Batman comic in at least a decade, probably longer.

Christian Collins
Christian Collins

If not Catwoman as his wife, who?

Fucking nobody. Marriage is for the birds.

Joshua Gray
Joshua Gray

learn what happens when he either relates the story of how he recently met his father via the inter-dimensional Watchmen-fueled “The Button” storyline
DC was a mistake.

James Richardson
James Richardson

He, much like his fanbase, should die alone.

Gavin Peterson
Gavin Peterson

I would watch a show where Batman gets married to female also Batman not Batgirl

Easton Campbell
Easton Campbell

So, Batwoman?

Adrian Torres
Adrian Torres

He has met his father a few times. You'd think he'd be over it by now.

not bat-mite

Xavier Campbell
Xavier Campbell

Honestly, if she wasn't a dyke and his cousin, I could see the two working out together.

Catwoman is still his only real option, if you wanna go the romance route. Which they do.

Met his father maybe 3 times
Over it
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HIS PAIN

Ryan Walker
Ryan Walker

I've always wanted Vicki Vale to be his wife, and Bruce goes to the extent of wipewiping her constantly so she doesn't know he's Batman. Too bad it'd end up like Clark and Lois.

If I recall, he's met his father:
-Once with Zatara
-Once with Dr Fate
-Earth-2 several times (doesn't truly count, however)
-Once with Constantine
-Sometime in Future's End
-The letter from Flashpoint
And probably more from the golden/silver age issues I haven't read yet.

William Sanchez
William Sanchez

There's Zatanna, Wonder Woman, Julie Madison, Vicky Vale, Poison Ivy, Silver St. Cloud, Kathy Kane (the original Batwoman), and a plethora of others. Shit, Dennis O'Neil even used to sneak in Batman/Shiva hints in the day. It's not because Batman doesn't have other romance options, it's just that DC is full of BatCat shippers who shill Catwoman at every available opportunity, even going so far as to drag his character down in the process to make it work, as demonstrated by Tom King's current run.

Nathaniel Cooper
Nathaniel Cooper

I blame the BatCat shippers for Catwoman's ending in Injustice 2 basically being "Bruce turns into a cuck"

Ryan Lewis
Ryan Lewis

And Talia. She was shipped as The One for a while there.

Alexander Wood
Alexander Wood

Of those, there is literally only Vicky Vale and Zatana who is actually capable of forming a lasting relationship.

Or did you forget that Wonder Woman is immortal? And the rest, like Poison Ivy, aren't really interested these days or outright non-existent. Also Kate Kane, or Kathy Kane, is his cousin.

The BatCat relationship is one of few that remain, honestly, for Bruce. Now am I saying they should bring his character down like they did in Injustice 2? Not a fucking chance.

But what they did in the recent comic wasn't that. Batman has been tired of fighting for years now, and he's been looking for an out, or at least a way to do so less painfully mentally. Not to mention, this whole thing has been in existence since Batman/Superman #1 from 2011 with Earth-2 Bruce being married to Selina.

But again, I don't encourage the shit like in Injustice 2, where it made both of them look like shit.

Ian Thomas
Ian Thomas

He should marry Zatanna. If Paul Dini can marry his Zatanna, I don't see why Batman can't

Kevin White
Kevin White

I'm now starting to see why they were always hesitant to have the Big 3 hook up with anyone (save for Superman and Lois).

Benjamin Cooper
Benjamin Cooper

They are not meant for one another. Their relationships are physical and superficial.

Catwoman is a narcissist bitch that steals and robs whomever.

Benjamin Nguyen
Benjamin Nguyen

not zatanna and the hellblazer
Disgusting OTP.

I would pay lots of money for John and Zatanna to have an ongoing together.

Kevin Gonzalez
Kevin Gonzalez

Clark has Lois so he's humanised and doesn't go crazy with his powers.
Wonder Woman has Themiscyra behind her and Batman has Alfred/whichever young boy he's grooming.

Lois is less of a relationship and just a, to steal from The Flash, lightning rod.

Mason Reed
Mason Reed

Constantine's not the marrying type

Luis Ross
Luis Ross

Of those, there is literally only Vicky Vale and Zatana who is actually capable of forming a lasting relationship.

Julie Madison not good enough? Silver St. Cloud can't handle the Batman, but Julie's seemed pretty cool with it over the years.

Or did you forget that Wonder Woman is immortal?

Steve Trevor is mortal. So is, technically, Superman. And she has more chemistry with Batman in the comics than she had with either of them.

And the rest, like Poison Ivy, aren't really interested these days or outright non-existent.

Poison Ivy is always interested whenever Bat-artists need to have a cover with her kissing Bats. Her wanting the Bat-Cock but never getting it is one of the few consistent things about her character.

Also Kate Kane, or Kathy Kane, is his cousin.

I'm not talking about Rucka's lipstick-wearing dyke, I'm talking about classic Batwoman.

Clark has Lois so he's humanised and doesn't go crazy with his powers.

This stupid trope needs to fucking die already. He's a character written by humans, it's almost impossible for him not to be humanized.

It makes Superman look like a pussywhipped cuck and nearly half of the shittiest Superman stories resulted as a direct consequence of that crap.

Dominic Wood
Dominic Wood

Current Constantine would, he'd just ignore his wife constantly.

You've

got

to

stop

spacing

text

like

this

as

it

hurts

my

eyes.

Nice

double

dubs

though.

Josiah Walker
Josiah Walker

Current Constantine also overtly fucks men

Jace Phillips
Jace Phillips

Clark has Lois so he's humanised and doesn't go crazy with his powers.
Alright, user, against my better judgement I'll bite this bait.

First of all this cliche was something written by idiotic, edgetards whose only experience of actual Superman and his character has been through youtube video and shit internet theories. Superman doesn't NEED to be humanized by any outside forces to keep him in some kind of powerlocked stasis where he doesn't go mad god. By all definitions and through the admittance of the GODDAMN BATMAN himself: Superman is the most human of all the heroes. The most kind and compassionate. The most selfless and giving. Always willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good.

He doesn't do this because he's afraid of losing his mind or some bullshit like that. He's a hero because he does what is right and good. A small time farmboy with two loving parents who cared for and loved him with everything in their hearts. Superman was raised right and through following the lead of his parents he became a good and lawful member of society. Ma and Pa Kent taught their boy right and nobody can say otherwise. Clark Kent isn't some "persona" or "mask," or whatever bullshit most people say nowadays, for Superman. Clark Kent is the real Superman. This bumbling, good nature, farmboy IS the Man of Steel. Superman is the mask that Clark Kent takes up to help people, but the actual PERSON is Clark Kent and always will be. Very much unlike Bruce Wayne who, on numerous occasions, says that his real identity is Batman and that Bruce Wayne is the necessary evil he has to take because he can't fight crime 24/7.

I know that's hard to imagine what with this modern society banging it into your head that mankind only ever works for himself and that everyone in the world is just waiting to fuck you over, but guess what, altruism for the sake of altruism actually DOES exist. And when a good man like that is given the ability to do anything and not be hurt by anything the world has to throw at him then of course he would work to save lives. Not because he has to but because he wants to, because that's the kind of person he is. A person that doesn't want to see the innocent suffer. An idealistic, naive, farmboy who wants other people to be happy and free.

Colton Harris
Colton Harris

I like the character of Superman a lot for the reasons you stated, its the application of Superman i dont enjoy all too much.

His notorious inconsistency in powerlevel makes it seem that he doesnt truly face much of a challenge. Its part of why i liked Darkseid and Doomsday so much as villains, because they were examples of how even when Superman is outmatched by far stronger entities, he's still that good of a person. Then they lessened the power of all his voillains so that went ojt the window, and then nu52 made him a cunt.
I like Superman but its easy to be Superman when you win, part of why modern readers are such dumbfucks is because modern wroters rarely have Superman be outclassed or even more, outright fail.

Elijah White
Elijah White

Constantine got ruined tbh. I liked him better when he wasn't an expert on magic and ine of the most powerful magicians, but a guy who was really good at simpler magics. Magic in the DCU really grew into a "whatever the plot needs" power as soon as it went mainstream.

Justin Gutierrez
Justin Gutierrez

Definitely, I agree with much of what you wrote. Most of my problem was with user said about Superman needing a humanizing force to keep him from going crazy, which is pure bullshit.

I fully agree with Superman being misapplied. I always felt Superman was at his best when he was against forces of nature (whether literal or metaphorical: Doomsday, Darkseid, etc). When a massive earthquake happens and half the city is plunged under the ground and thousands of lives are in peril: that's when Superman shines the brightest. Because at the end of the day he'll try to save every single life. He knows he can't, he understands from the get out that chances are a good chunk of folk were dead before he even got the chance to get up into the air and survey the situation. But even knowing that he'll still try his damnedest to save them all, to find every last survivor, retrieve every barely breathing body, and make sure that no one loses their lives. And even after saving so many lives he must bear the weight of the lives he couldn't save on his shoulders. Knowing that even though he's SUPERMAN even he can't save them all. Superman's struggle is not about punching the bad guy, it's innately emotional I feel. When he's forced to buckle down and bring out as much power from within him to ensure that innocent people can live and continue their day to day lives. That's when Superman feels like Superman, in my opinion.

Tyler King
Tyler King

He has always fucked men. To their credit, they've never really forced it.
People got pissy he was with that black man, but they didn't really hamfist a message with it, it was just Constantine kissing a man, which he's done before.

Benjamin Reyes
Benjamin Reyes

DAMMIT, Batman, why don't you just marry the Joker?

Aiden Russell
Aiden Russell

I just think they made him too powerful to the point where other heroes become redundant. Superman was once flawed in certain ways. For example Batman was the better detective, and Superman didnt have the sheer brainpower and investigative prowess to solve mysteries. But now he can learn all of known medicine in a few seconds and is so fast he can investigate ALL possibilities' rendering detective skills redundant.
I dont mind supes having plenty of superpowers, but hes stronger than strength heroes, fasters than speedsters and smarter than the geniuses. And because of that he's difficult to share a universe with. Its hard to justify any disaster ocurring in the DC universe because the moment an earthquake happens you can legitimately say "why isnt superman there" and you're not wrong since his powerset allows him to solve so many problems.

Its just very hard to get a conversation about this going because people automatically assume you hate his character and not his skillset

Henry Barnes
Henry Barnes

He has always fucked men. To their credit, they've never really forced it.
This is why I used the qualifier 'overtly'

Aiden Hall
Aiden Hall

Eh, it's been done.

Ryan Sullivan
Ryan Sullivan

Calling it now, this will be the ending of this arc. Bruce will choose to become Batman for himself. DC will treat it like it's a fantastic revelation and casual nerd sites will say it's most amazing character development ever. Then we'll have a few years of "positive" Batman until sales start to slump, then he'll go back to being an angsty jerk so they can repeat the same arc all over again.

This is what Stan Lee referred to as the "illusion of change".

Luis Phillips
Luis Phillips

Always nice when the con men reveal the trade secrets.

Oliver Ward
Oliver Ward

is his cousin
And?

Eli Hughes
Eli Hughes

She has literally 0 chemistry with Batman.

Gabriel Adams
Gabriel Adams

Batman and marriage doesn't work, not even Campy Happy Batman.

Dylan Brooks
Dylan Brooks

That was a part of the lego movie I really liked.

Jaxson Ramirez
Jaxson Ramirez

that spacing
Hey reddit

Julian Lewis
Julian Lewis

Forgetting how small our textboxes are these days?

John Hall
John Hall

Marriage is for the birds.
So one of the Robins then?

Benjamin Gutierrez
Benjamin Gutierrez

You can expand them, dumbass

David Hill
David Hill

The only fathomable story I can think of Batman getting married is to basically do the Man Of Steel scene. Having Bat's wife be in great danger but in a public scene, and she waves him off from saving her so his secret will be kept and dies from it. Other than, I don't see much possibility. I mean, there's "Batman is a father" but you can generally accomplish that with any of the Robins.

Ayden Lee
Ayden Lee

Batman marrying a cis-woman instead of marrying Damian when he reveals himself to be trans

Fucking transphobic DC.

Sebastian White
Sebastian White

All of this has been argued before, and all of this will be argued again. And we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
An idealistic, naive, farmboy who wants other people to be happy and free.
It's a fine, likeable characterization, but it only really works in idealistic stories, noblebright settings, because only there could Superman stay an innocent. As soon as you start to take Superman seriously, insert him in a more realistic world, things logically get very serious, simply by dint of his incredible power and good intentions (apathy and ignorance preserves naivety, but would completely undo Superman's character).

happy and free
Pardon my edge here, but for most people, those are mutually exclusive. Some people just can't control their spending, and will turn themselves into debt-slaves if society isn't arranged to prevent that behaviour. People vote away their freedoms all the time. Some people are niggers, and all the freedom in the world won't make them build a society they can live happy lives in.
And people who spend time dealing with harsh realities, who spend time thinking about how to make the world a better place, and most certainly people who have real power and try to use it to make a better world, learn very quickly that most people are slaves at heart.

Ma and Pa Kent taught their boy right and nobody can say otherwise.
Ma and Pa Kent don't have all the answers, and sometimes there simply isn't a right one.

People have written so many deconstructions of Superman, because he's imminently deconstructable. From Joker Immunity to surgeon's burnout, there are a lot of dark facets to the idea of Superman once you think about it for a few seconds. Being Superman can't be easy, hard lives tend to produce hard men, and with great power, no amount of good intentions will spare you from having to make hard choices. Naivety doesn't last when you spend time dealing with the parts of reality that necessitates Superman, and not simply "a good man".
I can see a superpowered farmboy holding on to idealism, however, at least as a code of honor and guideline to deal with the world. But most people don't want the Truth, Justice is a abstract concept with no root in objective reality and as such endlessly uncertain, and the less said about the American Way the better. Depending on the ideals, idealism could easily be a character flaw, and potentially a terrible one and that; "idealistic" and "naive" are central qualities to cucks, and I want Superman far away from that poison.

None of this is to say that Superman can't or shouldn't be good. Naivety just isn't particularly good, ideals are only models, and a good person won't hold on to them.

Joshua Johnson
Joshua Johnson

Amen user.

I hated Nu52 Superman for that reason. He was Superman, not Clark Kent. When Pre-Flashpoint Superman returned, he was first and foremost, Clark Kent, loving father and husband. Superman will always be the best hero, not because of his powers, but because of his personality.

Jayden Mitchell
Jayden Mitchell

The only way I can see a married Bruce working is if it's actually used to stress the tragedy of the life he chooses to lead. And there are other angles a savvy writer can take advantage of. A rich socialite marrying a known criminal? How would his closest allies react? Is Batman emotionally compromised?

That said, actually marrying Batman would diminish Catwoman because she's never been the type to fully commit to the straight and narrow. She'd just be another Bat-Ally without anything to set her apart.

Brayden Long
Brayden Long

Prety sure this happened once before, even if it looks like it never happened.

Noah King
Noah King

I'm going to point to Batman/Superman for some of those.

In the beginning of Batman/Superman, they get taken to the Earth-2 universe, before Darkseid attacks. There, Superman and Batman are happily married to Lois and Selina respectively.

From my understanding, they had been married for some years, as Huntress was the product of their marriage. That said, Batman and Catwoman became essentially a crime-fighting team, with Catwoman balancing out Batman's insane war against crime. Neither was outshone, and both Superman and Batman from Earth-2 didn't really change outside of neither being whiny bitches any more. Pussy changes man after all.

That said, these were the Silver (or was it Golden?) Age equivalents. Both were much older than the ones we see today, and a lot more experienced. Likewise, they both died when Darkseid invaded for the first time (where as in the pre-flashpoint universe, the Earth-2 Superman died fighting Superboy Prime).

Main universe Batman has never been married, I don't think. Small romances here and there, but never married.

Camden Sullivan
Camden Sullivan

Main universe Batman has never been married, I don't think. Small romances here and there, but never married.
He was married to Talia. He was also engaged to Julie Madison

Luke Walker
Luke Walker

Please tell me they're not going to kill off Catwoman down the line to remind him of why he needs to be the Batman.

Lincoln Gonzalez
Lincoln Gonzalez

That was the edgiest shit

Jeremiah Allen
Jeremiah Allen

For a splitsecond, I thought you said "Batwoman," and I was hopeful.

Jason Hughes
Jason Hughes

Nah, Superman is his true self, a combination of both his Earth and Kryptonian heritage. That's literally the entire basis of his character from inception, everything else is just varying degrees of hiding his real persona. In the same way, Bruce Wayne has been the real persona in the modern timeline ever since Rucka poked fun at the "Batman is the true me" concept with Murderer/Fugitive, and Morrison reinforced it.

Everything else is spot on, though.

TL;DR I don't read Superman

You're the reason Superman has to get endlessly beaten up when going up even against random mooks, isn't allowed to be smart, and is always getting defeated and deconstructed all over the place so every no-talent hack can make a "grandiose point" about the nature of morality.

TL;DR I don't read Superman

There are about a thousand different heroes to whom this question applies. And again, you're the reason Superman has to keep getting jobbed in a thousand different ways while other characters who are just as powerful as him are allowed to be their awesome selves.

Superman holding onto idealism in a cynical world is an enduring part of the character. Also, flipping the figure to the status quo in pursuit of doing the good thing is what Superman was conceived as. Governments funding terrorism on the down-low to destabilize a region, Superman is on that shit in a heartbeat, or at least he should be. Basically, Superman is that line from Captain America about doing the right thing in the face of bureaucratic bullshit made manifest.

Noah Jones
Noah Jones

Murderer/Fugitive

We do not speak of Bruce Wayne: Murderer/Fugitive.

Superman is best described through the Silver Age comics. Superman is invincible, but his friends aren't. Superman inhabits a world inhabited by fleshy meat creatures that can be killed at any moment. Which is why he's so protective of his friends, and arguably earth itself.

Also, his invincibility and super-powers is also why he does weird things, such as proclaim himself King of Earth to save the world from an alien invasion or kidnap and imprison his boss to protect him from murderous blackmailers. To us, those actions might seem overly-complicated, if not a little illegal, but to Superman, they're the only logical solutions.

Ryan Jenkins
Ryan Jenkins

be Batman
be fucking rich
be fucking swole
be considered savant with base +20 int
your car is savage and souped up
every hot chick you meet wants to fuck you ebry day
every hot villainess wants to bind you and fuck you instead of kill u.
u get more putang than heifner
life is gud

get married<< you are here

oh shit nigger wat r u doing.jpg
can't be batman no moar cuz wife wants to know where u are at all times
can't have batmobile because we family nao and need a bat-van/suv for groceries
why do i need a bat-plane?
her reasons when naked make sense
bye batplane… bye batbike, bye batboat
things I do 4 luv ;_;
got to get rid of alfred because he's too much of a bro and reminds you of batman days
Agree, he was telling her to stop being a manipulative cunt
called me a bluepilled dagger
bye Alfred, you cray cray man
wifey says new butler is Dick Greyson cuz reasons
wifey says new pool boy is Tim Drake cuz reasons
wifey says new gardner is Jason Todd cuz reasons
be at work all day to make that money for mao hunny
she spends a LOT of money :*(
like goddamn she waste more than HR dept of Waynetech
she calls only to check in at random times.
she must love me ;_;
dem Bat kids areally always around and get along REALLY well with wifey.
they don't get along with me that much tho anymore
must be hormones i think
we argue moar these days
she always gets angry and says I'm not around enough even though I made another billion working hard
nagging gets worse
more fequent too
like most of the time I'm around her she complains
I forgot the last time she wanted to fuck
she gets jealous though so can't call Batgrill even to talk about the situation and how to deal
married but still have to stealth masterbate
says im getting fat from office work
she's being a meanie again
it's like she forgot I'm the goddammit batman
how did criminals fear me once?
I feel like a pussy around catwoman… reeee
tell her to calm down since I'm fustrated
oh shit made her cry
all three former m8's drop what they are doing and appear out of nowhere to console wifey
Dick runs in from kitchen
Tim drops down from ceiling
Todd busts in from window
Wtf niggers were evesdroppin or wut?
Try to console wife
yells she wants a divorce
tells me to pack my bags, she wants the Manor.
later finds out she also wants major shares in Wayne tech
and alimony, and half of my money
she even is claiming Damian who she hated forever because he's from Talia just to collect child support
I'm already paying Talia for child support tho so joke is on her, I so smart. I'm the goddammit batman!
this is a good apartment. It has a nice beam where I can hang from.
Otherwise i would have to break my rule about using a gun… on myself

Brandon Jackson
Brandon Jackson

dagger
*nigget
Fuckin spellcheck

Isaiah Barnes
Isaiah Barnes

I know you're being retarded but not a one of those things has happened to any famous hero after marriage.

Look at Lois and Clark, he kept his shitty old truck and didn't need to do any of that. Lois didn't expect him to give up anything and he didnt.

Wyatt Lopez
Wyatt Lopez

Nigger, turn off your spellcheck, it's clearly a PC product.

Do you expect realism from mainstream comics?

Nathan Bennett
Nathan Bennett

You speak as if Batman would put up with any of that. Also, you don't have any idea how a couple that wealthy would live, do you?

Thomas Wilson
Thomas Wilson

Oh hell no, they can kill her off, and exactly no one will give a shit, and it will not affect continuity in any way whatsoever.

Gabriel Scott
Gabriel Scott

I'm glad someone caught my pun.

Kevin Adams
Kevin Adams

Lois didn't need to take any of his shit, she more than made up for it by being a psychotic bitch who got jealous at Clark saying one word to any woman besides her and flirting with other dudes.

Nolan Lewis
Nolan Lewis

this whole post

Liam Clark
Liam Clark

You're the reason Superman has to get endlessly beaten up when going up even against random mooks
Superman hasn't lost a meaningful battle for years faggot. And you're telling me I don't read him? Maybe you should pick up a fucking comic if you're gonna talk shit
isn't allowed to be smart
Is that why he learned the entirety of modern medicine in a few seconds. Is that why they did that, to prove how dumb he is
and is always getting defeated and deconstructed all over the place so every no-talent hack can make a "grandiose point" about the nature of morality.
Again he hasn't been actually defeated for the longest time, and maybe he wouldn't need to be "deconstructed" if he was constructed better in the first place.
There are about a thousand different heroes to whom this question applies.
Yeah and it's relevant. If the Flash can move in the attosecond, why doesn't he do more to help people? That's probably a good reason not to make good guys so insanely powerful, but I guess you can't fathom characters who are less than gods.
And again, you're the reason Superman has to keep getting jobbed in a thousand different ways while other characters who are just as powerful as him are allowed to be their awesome selves.
Quite the opposite actually. Superman always gets to be the most amazing individual in existence, despite being a normal fucking Kryptonian, while literal gods like Darkseid get tossed around like day-old lunchmeat by somebody who has nothing particularly out of the ordinary for his species going on. Doomsday isn't allowed to be killed the same way twice, but Superman can beat him to death as many times as he wants (oh they justify it because his first death was "being beaten by a kryptonian" and the second was "being beaten by a bunch of kryptonians", solid writing). I don't know what comics you're reading faggot, but it sure as shit isn't Superman. Even Superdad, as good as it is, has this same fucking problem.

Nolan Ward
Nolan Ward

Holla Forums discussing capeshit is always on par with /v/ most popular videogames.
the essence of (capeshit character) is this! you would know that it you weren't a fucking casual!
You're the causal faggot, the essence of (capeshit character) is this! and you would know this if you actually read comics!
repeat ad nauseam till someone gives up, because it's nearly always turns into an argument of who knows more about the specific capeshit character. No one ever thinks to dig through their pirated comic collection and find examples to prove their poin , unless it's a current year capeshit comic.

Liam Turner
Liam Turner

Superman hasn't lost a meaningful battle for years faggot. And you're telling me I don't read him? Maybe you should pick up a fucking comic if you're gonna talk shit

Man of Steel, Batman v. Superman, Supergirl recently, Injustice games, New Krypton, whole Truth arc, whole Doomed arc, end of Morrison's Action Comics run where he gets wailed on by Not-Doomsday for almost an entire issue before being saved, his death right before Rebirth, etc.

And nice try twisting my words, faggot - "You're the reason Superman has to get endlessly beaten up when going up even against random mooks"

Is that why he learned the entirety of modern medicine in a few seconds. Is that why they did that, to prove how dumb he is

Yeah, that was fun. Pity Grant Morrison seems to be the only one who even remembers Superman's supposed to be a genius anymore, hence that one exception in a sea of shit.

Again he hasn't been actually defeated for the longest time, and maybe he wouldn't need to be "deconstructed" if he was constructed better in the first place.

See above. And Superman's perfectly well constructed, he just has the misfortune of getting mostly shit writers or ones who don't appreciate the character, as you just demonstrated.

Yeah and it's relevant. If the Flash can move in the attosecond, why doesn't he do more to help people? That's probably a good reason not to make good guys so insanely powerful, but I guess you can't fathom characters who are less than gods.

Because comics, dumbass. Why doesn't Batman fix Arkham Asylum's security permanently, since he's apparently a master of a billion different disciplines? Why doesn't Reed Richards cure every disease in existence permanently? I seem to possess enough imagination to enjoy powerful characters, one that you sadly seem to lack.

Quite the opposite actually. Superman always gets to be the most amazing individual in existence, despite being a normal fucking Kryptonian, while literal gods like Darkseid get tossed around like day-old lunchmeat by somebody who has nothing particularly out of the ordinary for his species going on.

Darkseid is a team-smasher now, so I don't know where you got that idea from.

Doomsday isn't allowed to be killed the same way twice, but Superman can beat him to death as many times as he wants (oh they justify it because his first death was "being beaten by a kryptonian" and the second was "being beaten by a bunch of kryptonians", solid writing).

Still works. Anytime Superman faces Doomsday it's a literal fight for his life, which is why he needed help the second time round.

I don't know what comics you're reading faggot, but it sure as shit isn't Superman.

Been reading Superman comics for a long time, matey.

Even Superdad, as good as it is, has this same fucking problem.

Superdad is utter irredeemable garbage.

Charles Martin
Charles Martin

You should read DKIII #9. Really puts Superman in the proper perspective.

Jeremiah Stewart
Jeremiah Stewart

This entire post

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