So this is only vaguely related to leftist politics...

Meditate, trust me. Read The Shobogenzo and meditate. I suffer from this too - does the word interiorisation seem somewhat apt to the condition as well? And when everything's all great and actually… accessible, this is the negation of that 'interiorisation', when you're really directly alongside and with things and others in the world? Read Shobogenzo and meditate. Also spend time (naively, as I imagine you don't have training, I don't but this is the best word for it) psycho-analysise yourself. I've found my disassociation comes from a sort of deliberation of the unconscious, to protect myself from various things due to various anxieties about various things (there's no point going into detail but I wanted to give you an example). Read Shobogenzo and meditate. It's possible to attain at the very least that kind of living that you recall was normal, and if you have some astuteness possible something even better/higher.

Its also possible you "suffer" from schizoaffective disorder.

inb4 not a disorder to those who have it, because we feel fine.

The event is just not something you deal with on a day to day and whether that was a human or a coyote you really had no special attachment to it. If it looked like someone you knew then you might have become traumatized.
As for clarity and meditation. Why be so eastern about it? The psychological processes of meditation achieve the same results whether you sit in a special pose, do a repetitive physical activity, or listen to a known piece of music while musing to yourself.

You're probably experiencing depersonalization / derealization like another poster mentioned. Not sure what your history of mental illness is but regardless you should talk to a therapist about these experiences. I've been feeling the same way recently and being outside scares me. Specifically looking at the sky or just the general depth of things.

Getting off the computer would help you too.

Here's what you shouldn't do, then. Get really high and stare at the stars on a cloudless winter night in a rural area.

Death is the ever-present quality of being. You, and everyone who lives, lives against that constant threat; even worse, death is a constituent part of our everyday life: we live by the so called drive, which is the tacit acceptance of our fate.

OKAY, I hope you are still reading this thread.

This is depersonalization and right now you need to understand the fact you are in fact in control of it, BUT, its going to take some serious time. I suffered through hardcore depersonalization for two straight years where I couldn't even remember the day before.

I basically just tried to avoid it and pretend it wasn't there hoping it would be like the flu where you wake up and feel fine. It didn't. So, I finally had a mental breakdown and to be totally honest screamed at myself that I had to get in control of it. After that (accepting control of the situation and begin to make improvements) things begun to get better. Some things that vastly helped me: Starting boxing (for you, do any sport if you are willing, weightlifting or something), eating healthy, and forcing yourself to consciously think about your surroundings when everything seems really foggy. Like I would look down at my feet and not want to look forward because it nearly hurt my brain with the blurriness. (No its not bad eyes, I checked.). Force yourself into uncomfortable situations, and generally attempt to have a decently happy life. Finding someone you like a lot helps too. Its serious work but you need to understand you very likely suffer from depersonalization. Another thing that actually helped a lot was getting an adderall prescription, but getting a xanax/ klonopin prescription I'd imagine would help a lot, or even an SSRI.

Last time it was really bad was 2 years ago. Its now at 10% or so, and its only getting better. You will get through it if you actively make a change. Otherwise you're doomed. My depersonalization was drug induced (meaning I got it from doing too much of a drug), yours could be that, (though you'd know it), anxiety, or even depression. If the depersonalization only happened after the car accident, then you are coping and you have a perfectly fine chance of being 100% normal again.

Hope this helps, sorry if it is jumbled. I was just about to get to bed when I saw this. Good luck.

I just remembered that they made a movie based on the book, aswell, user.

Watch it, it's pretty good.

youtube.com/watch?v=IaHMgToJIjA

Fuck, now I'm not tired. I'll make a list of things ranking from vaguely things that helped the most to least but still helped. Nothing worked necessarily the best, its just an idea really.

1. Adderall (helped me focus on reality), 2. Working out and eating healthy, getting 8, hours of sleep on the dot, etc. 3. Talking about it in person with people close to me, 4. Forcing myself to scan the world around me and generally putting myself in visually uncomfortable situations

This goes without saying that the thing that helped and spawned all these was by accepting that it may never go away fully, so I figured I'd try as hard to make it as miniscule in my life as possible.

Also, don't mean to scare you. If any of this makes sense to you then you probably are affected by it. Again, if it's very recent and you start treating it then you'll be fine. If you let it go on too long like I had, you're in the same boat as I described, and its time to "man up" so to say.

It's dissociation.
A sense of un-involvement(dissociation), combined with exceptional(possibly traumatic) circumstances is similar to the state we get into when we suspend disbelief and partake of works of fiction,thus the similarity.

Your perception becomes surreal and your dissociated self makes it hard for your memory to pin down a perspective from which it is experienced.That's also possibly why people often have difficulty recalling the details of situations like that.