Warning: Real talk ahead. Sorry that it is US-centric, but hopefully all countries currently experiencing their alt-right movements can relate.
Hello friends. Sorry for my prolonged absence. First it was Inktober, and now, well. The events of last week have, as an understatement, put me in a very bad place psychologically. I'm not usually a very emotional person, so it took a while before I could process things this far and draw it out like I usually do.
My primary emotion is simply deep, paralyzing, fear. Fear that I, a minority woman, will be attacked. Fear that my family and friends will be attacked. I already see reports of harassment happening to friends on Facebook. I hear my next door neighbor screaming insults at Hillary. All this when, as an oriental Asian living in a liberal city, I speak from a place of huge privilege on the matter. So if I am already this fucking terrified, I can't even begin to imagine how it must feel to be a Latina or black or Muslim woman right now. My heart cries for you.
Next is overwhelming disappointment. I come from a very sexist household. I was not allowed to play any contact sports (not even basketball), as it was 'not a feminine thing to do'. I was discouraged from engineering because it is an 'exhausting career,' and 'men should be the ones providing anyways'. I watched my mother hold down a job and do all the chores and take care of the kids, while my father watched TV and went to bed early. And I was always reminded to be perfect in school, because I am not white and I am a girl so I needed quantifiable proof of my achievements for a chance to be successful. This election has brought those words back to me. Having to admit that almost half my country is okay with those words, is really hard to do.
To those who voted Trump: I know your vote was likely not overtly racially or misogynistically motivated. But if possible, I request that you try to understand and accept how your vote enabled the hostile environment that I now live in. And I hope you can reflect, just for a bit, on whether you feel my safety and my life is worth the justification you gave in your vote. And from this point of view, understand why so many people are so devastated and afraid right now.
I welcome polite discussion.