Operation "Dead Journalist" Jokes

Yeah, these are classics about (((lawyers))).
What do you call 6 million dead journalists at the bottom of the ocean?
A good finish!
(captcha: oratsx)

Which they will realize and it will make them think: "shit we're more hated than lawyers now…"

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How is a journalist like a sperm?

They both have a six-million-to-one chance of becoming a human being.

Cause people love to see happy uplifting shit.

Whoever believes images like these to be conductive to good are fucking morons. Would not suprise me in the least to know this thread was started by a faggot journalist or oven dodger hoping these shitty memes can sway be used in their painful programming.

You hacks should be euthanized simply because your memes are shit.

This thread is dildos.

Nice try, shill.

Make a hashtag.

#JournoJokes

Got that alliteration and normie-tier plausible deniability

Just looked it up and it already exists and is full of cheesy journamism-related kindergarden-tier jokes and reddit-cancer puns

I really like the pics posted in the thread, Nice style and professional looking.

Slap the hashtag in and we're golden

User another hashtag if char limit permits #BadTaste, more normie plausible deniability.

nigger this thread is about salt mining, how new are you?

Don't say OP did not deliver.

Used the Hillary font for added lulz.

Meme 'em. Let's see if these work.

#JournoJokes on pics, both it and #BadTaste on the tweets

Now we wait to see if some (((mic.com))) fag spoils the fun before the salt shipments trickle in.

I don't think the images really need hashtags, since it's not really trying to spoof a real ad campaign like #DraftOurDaughters or something.

But IDK maybe there's a way to spin this into a campaign of some kind…

maybe if we pretended it came from the Trump campaign, but that doesn't make much sense.

Who would actually campaign for #DeadJournos?

How do you make a journalist dance?
Pull the rope

Every last user across every imageboard, minus the cuckboards

Nice image but the wording is autistic. Try "How are apples and journalists alike? They both look good hanging from trees."

The an and a in the first one make it a bit jarring, make it smoother and use collectives to appeal to normies.

I like the idea of letting the journos know we hate them and want them to die. This is a good thing.

Whatever you do, keep the jokes simple. Modern Journalists are borderline retarded. I'm not exaggerating either, the vast majority simply isn't as smart as they would need to be to do their jobs properly and that's exactly how (((they))) like it.

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The good news is they'll only feel threatened while they're still alive, and who knows how long that will be? Could be 50 years, could be 36 hours.

You misspelled cemetery, user. Besides that, it's looking good though.

We don't need to do this, that will just turn people off from it and call us ebil rayciss. I don't mind being called names, but if we want these jokes to stick then we can't have a red herring like that.

Dumb it down even further.

So, we like ISIS now ?!

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It's not murder or terrorism if we're convincing mentally unstable coalburners and numale journos to commit suicide.
It helps us, and it helps them. Win-win nigger.

we good samaritans now!

Top kek. Don't care at this point.

Learn to memetics, retard. Memeing hatred of journos doesn't simply stop at triggering journos, it manifests itself throughout the entire network. The audience begins to see signs of his peers changing colors ('lawyers' being the generally shit talked profession to journos) as well as the journo responding with fear and kvetching, justifying his reading of the crowd. They work to catch up and stay fitting in.

Nice work OP

This. The people kvetching about this plan are either upset reporters or redditors.

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This.
They'll out themselves by calling the jokes antisemitic anyway, making themselves look bad to normies and retarded to us.

Also check this captcha.

For those planning to stay up late, some websites full of #JournoJokes in waiting:
iciclesoftware.com/LawJokes/IcicleLawJokes.html

unijokes.com/lawyer-jokes/4/

lawyer-jokes.us/

A: So that lawyers would have someone to look down on.

A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

A: They're both extinct.

Journalists don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

"Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some journalist objects."

And of course the classic:
A: Their lips are moving.

The funniest thing ever is the self proclaimed left wing all sucking corporate media cock. They were frauds all along as if it wasn't already apparent. They think they are revolutionaries well where are they? They're not here with us because they're off shilling for a motherfucking clinton.

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Looks like #journojokes really are autobioGRAPHical.

Ive noticed that CTR realy wants to meme violence against random journalist into existence. Is that angle needed to brand all trump supporters as violent thugs? In another thread a fellow who clearly didnt understand how the quote "green meme arrow" urged people to go out and kill a reporter at election celebrations if trump loses.

fuck off CTR

Journalists want to control you, user. And not just "a little bit." Control taken to the extreme is slavery, and this would be far more preferable to them. If they could simply tell you what to do and have you do it rather than try and thought-shame you into compliance with something like White Guilt or propaganda techniques, they'd far more prefer to do that, right?

If someone walked in your house with a pair of cuffs and tried to tackle you and lock you up and enslave you to do shit you didn't want to do, you'd fight, right? I would hope so. So tell me - how is this any different? How is what the media does now any different than a legal version of that? Because you have the "right" to say no? You have the "right" to not believe?

They have the right to lie, to disseminate pure lies from a position of privilege, to invoke rights of that privilege to allow them to evade scrutiny, the ability to collude and coordinate with other corrupt forces that want your enslavement, and more.

Yet - you would not fight? You would not fight as if you very life was at stake? And forget fighting on their terms - the table is tipped in their favor. No, the fight must be on our terms. You will never win a battle on paper with people who buy ink by the barrel. The only alternative is to fight for you life - traditionally, naturally, the way it has been done since the dawn of time. Destroy that which is trying to destroy you, or die. There is no other option.

This is good shit, OP. The anti-media meme has to be pushed as hard as possible. Good OC being post itt too.

These two are particularly good - they don't just tell the journos you hate them but they say why AND spread the meme that the leftist media are dishonest shills.

We're probably better off talking about dead presstitutes than journalists, to drive home why they're being hanged.

What do you say when you see a journalist tied to four horses?
"Giddyup!"

Did you hear about the journalist that had a massive, cancerous mole on his face?
Through a medical miracle, doctors were able to burn it away, and the mole now lives a healthy life.

Mother: "Jimmy! Why did you beat that journalist to within an inch of his life?"
Jimmy: "Don't worry mom, I'll finish up tomorrow."

How do you stop a journalist from choking?
Rape a different orifice.

Excellent idea. Lets start making visuals. I'll try but I'm on mobile at work

Yup, Hunter S Thompson died in '05

I like a less sinister background.

bump

Yeah, and he went out like a bitch.

What a horrible idea OP. If you really wanted to scare them then you need to break down their safe walls they have built up by infiltrating it and corrupting the foundation. After wading knee deep in normalfags and leftists all my life I have found out the most effective way to break these people down is to sympathize with them while giving them dire warning that the hand that feeds them is losing control.

For example, a high ranking journalist on twatter could be broken down if enough of his followers and supporters warn him about blowback from his side via a twatter such as "I loved your work Journo, since trump mite win stay safe! Janet Reno died and it looks like it's just the beginning!". Once their lives are threatened they will begin to reassess their stance and side they are on while at the same time the wording of that tweet can't be at fault since the person was giving them well wishes.

THIS is a more effective way to rattle their cages. I think OP had the right idea but it falls a bit flat in terms of effectiveness.

OP corrects his spelling.

basically just take nigger jokes and put "journalist" in place of nigger

What do you call two journalists on one bike?
Organized crime

How do you fit 100 journalists in a car?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, 95 in the ashtray

How many journalist do you have to killed to get an accurately reported story.

All of them

>>>/Reddit/

These journalists cannot help but read their "mentions" on Twitter.

If you say something clever or harsh or attention-grabbing enough there's a very good chance they'll see it and during campaign season they will often retweet it or blog about it — in an attempt to show people what "Trump supporters are really like".

But we can actually get in their heads, and show them that there is a price they pay for constantly spewing bile into our culture. There's been an unprecedented amount of kvetching from journalists who are complaining and crying about getting pushback for the lumpenproles.

It's not a final solution, but letting these journalists know they are hated is a good thing, and has a halo effect of making more good things (for us) happen.

They whine and cry about it and it just makes people hate them more. And it makes them hate us more, and then they vent that anger and they write posts that get more vicious. And it escalates. The fire rises.

HAHAHAHAHA!! So funny! You made my day bro!

Another meme idea for sending to journos.

It's just modern art, bruh.

Very nice.

They're Facebook memes because they are meant to appeal to the majority. It's like a bunch of Nazi propagandists are trying to come up with things that appeal to their people, and then they have some really good ideas, but one of them says "hey wait a second I hate this type of joke because everybody normal likes it" while forgetting that the mass audience is literally everybody normal, and then starts shitting all over everybody because he's retarded. That person is you.

Journalists aren't bad…

The kikes at cnn are endocrinators not journalists.

Also OP is FBI. The captcha doesnt lie

its a classic op to break up groups or control organizations

All journalists are bastards

There are honest journalists you know.

I use tunes myself, OP. You can double the data force though!!! haha have fun with it boys, because you can't spell manslaughter without, laughter.

youtube.com/watch?v=exnaY0l4XsM

And hookers with hearts of gold.

I wonder who might be behind this post.

This.

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General truths do not imply universal truths. That is my biggest problem with post-2015 Holla Forums newfags.

The first one was pretty funny.

What's the difference between a prostitute and a journalist? Prostitution requires skill.

the journalist is the bigger asshole.

the prostitute gets paid for an honest day's work.

While i do wish mainstream media paid for its crimes and treasons…

These are forced memes.
Im surprised Holla Forums is falling for this.

How about:
At least a prostitute admits they're fucking you

Could repurpose ye olde libish meme as "Imagine no Media" and make absurdly positive images.

(checked)
Kek confirms the superior punchline.

audibly keked

HEIL KEK

Dude, the election is tomorrow. It is too late for any operations like that from CTR. Even if some crazed maniac went into the CNN building and started gunning down every person he saw, there isn't enough time between now and the election to effectively spin that.

Considering this sort of campaign will take a good day or two to really spool up on twitter, it is more likely to have a tangible effect after the election. For the DNC camp, the propaganda value of our campaign is completely nil.

Q & A form jokes

Q: What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?
A: Lipstick.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
A: Your Honor.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50
A: Senator.

Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?
A: Accountants know they're boring.

Q: What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?
A: A jury.

Q: Why did God invent lawyers?
A: So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

Q: What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?
A: The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.

Q: What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?
A: A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

Q: What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
A: A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.

Q: What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?
A: One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and God?
A: God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

Q: How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.
Q: How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
A: She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?
A: Only three. The rest are true stories.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
Q: What are lawyers good for?
A: They make used car salesmen look good.
Q: What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
A: They're both extinct.
Q: What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.
Q: What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
A: Skeet.
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
A: Senator.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
A: Taller
1/?

Q: What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
A: A Doberman.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
A: The pronunciation.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?
A: A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
Q: What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
A: One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: The tick falls off when you are dead.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
Q: Know how copper wire was invented?
A: Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his ass.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: Their lips are moving.
Q: Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?
A: New Jersey got to pick first.
Q: Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
A: Cats keep trying to bury them.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.
Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
A: Take your foot off his head.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
A: When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

Q: What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
A: There was an empty seat.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand
Q: Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A: From chasing parked ambulances.
Q: Where can you find a good lawyer?
A: In the cemetery
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: Why to lawyers wear neckties?
A: To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
A: When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
Q: How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
A: It might be your bicycle.
Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.
Q: Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
Q: What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
2/?

The Penalty for laughing in court is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.

- H. L. Mencken
Lawyers occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.

- Winston Churchill
Lorenzo Dow, a 19th century evangelist, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter night. At the local general store he saw the town's lawyers gathered around the potbellied stove.

Dow told the men about a recent vision in which he had been given a tour of hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno. One of the lawyers asked what he had seen.

"Very much what I see here," Dow said. "All of the lawyers gathered in the hottest place."

Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a fool is despised only because he is a lawyer. – Montesquieu

Lawyers are like rhinoceroses: thick skinned, short-sighted, and always ready to charge.

- David Mellor (b. 1949), British Conservative politician
A fox may steal your hens, Sir,
A whore your health and pence, Sir,
Your daughter rob your chest, Sir,
Your wife may steal your rest, Sir,
A thief your goods and plate.
But this is all but picking,
With rest, pence, chest and chicken;
It ever was decreed, Sir,
If lawyer's hand is fee'd, Sir,
He steals your whole estate.

- John Gay (1685-1732), English dramatist. Peachum, in The Beggar's Opera, act 1, sc. 9, Air 11.
I would be loath to speak ill of any person who I do not know deserves it, but I am afraid he is an attorney.

- Samuel Johnson (1709-84), English author, lexicographer.
A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury 20 more of them."

"How can I ever thank you?" gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow, after he had solved her legal troubles. "My dear woman," Darrow replied, "ever since the Phoenicians invented money there has been only one answer to that question."
3/3

haha, low energy shill

it's a good sign that shills aren't just ignoring this one, they see potential

Start by not calling them "journalists". That's still considered a respected profession. Only call them lying propagandists and lying traitors. Don't call them "news". Only say mainstream media or lying media.

“If the media lies, the media dies.
You take a side, you’re along for the ride.
A traitor in front of a camera is still just a traitor.”

westernrifleshooters.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/what-i-saw-at-the-coup/

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Hello CTR, I see you've worked quite hard at imitating our use of meme magic. Too bad you're still incredibly obvious at everything you do.

WE DON'T NEED TO DRAW SUCH OBVIOUS AND NEGATIVE ATTENTION THIS CLOSE TO THE ELECTION.

This was a PSA for all the gullible lurkers. Thank you.

Hint: It's the journalists. Lots of them lurk Holla Forums these days, looking for stories because their incompetent hacks.

Do you honestly expect anybody here to believe this horseshit?

Hunter S. Thompson the weird free love hippy pedo?

No, ((( Journalism ))) is now a vile & corrupt profession. That's the whole point. That's the message.

Calling them "liars" or "propagandists" and saying "do your job" and "report the truth / facts" is useless, just gives them cover because they can deflect and assume it doesn't apply to them because they are the "good ones".

But we are letting them know: there are no good journalists. Doesn't matter if there are one or two exceptions.

Just like lawyers and politicians. That's what we want them to know.

This doesn't help achieve anything you fucking kike. At least wait till the end of the 8th. Fucking mouth breathers.

The 8th is tomorrow dumbass. Making fun of journalists yet again does not hurt out position in the slightest.

What, you think that if we are nice to journalists, they'll give us credit for that? Give me a fucking break. Journalists are already claiming that Trump supporters are Nazis who want to shoah them all. Pull your head out of your ass.

Nice. Upgrading the aesthetics.

What about Assange? What about O'Keefe? What about Paul Watson? If you attack allies like enemies, then what good are you?

I wouldn't mind to see 90% of journalists dead, but like I said earlier: general truth != universal truth. In general, journalists are evil and terrible for society. Good ones do exist, but they are uncommon. Believe it or not, Holla Forums used to not think that every single black man who ever lived ever is bad. It was agreed upon that they are generally very awful, but there are good ones. The idea that universal truths exist among human demographics is a cancer that has come to this board with all the underage and new users.

Damn, that looks way better. I've got a long way to go.

With Gawker their big thing was to always say they were bloggers rather than journalists.

I remember noticing when I called newspapers that nearly every person writing for them was not employed by the paper and instead just a freelancer. Hardly anyone works at any newspaper or magazine. So there's always layers of plausible deniability.

Then don't send these to them.

The purpose of this is the psychological impact it can have on our enemies.

A nice font can make a big difference. And a drop shadow for contrast w/ background.

The layout of the text here is optimized for twitter sharing, which tends to chop off the top and bottom, so text in the middle is best way to have it seen even as a preview.

I'm actually using the Hillary font from the #DraftOurDaughters meme, works pretty well.

It's similar to Gotham, which is another good one for memes.

a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-Book.ttf
a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-BookItalic.ttf
a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-Semibold.ttf
a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-SemiboldItalic.ttf
a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-Extrabold.ttf
a.hrc.onl/secretary/fonts/SharpUnity-ExtraboldItalic.ttf

Actually presstitutes can have hearts of gold.

Thanks for the tips.

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Good idea, I'll use it when baneposting.

say this: "i hate you and wish you were dead" this way your point is clear without any messy innuendo or miscommunication. honesty and not being a pussy is the best policy user.

This movement needs more traction. We need to assault the MSM for crimes against the state.