In the upcoming live action adaptation of The Lion King, Simba discovers his love for mansex after meeting also-gay Timon and Pumba. Gather the kids for enrichment.
Simba's neghole gets pozzed
Samuel Scott
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Elijah Brooks
This is a joke right?
Evan Garcia
WE
Matthew Hall
I certainly hope so. I'd rather be a retard who didn't realize satire rather than it being true.
Landon Harris
The Lion alpha usually sodomize the lesser lions
Gabriel Hill
And Lionesses eat their cubs when a new alpha takes over the pride, what's your point faggot?
Kayden Young
MOM'S CHINA'S GONNA FREAK
Samuel Sullivan
Timon and Pumbaa were always portrayed as an eccentric gay couple with a penchant for spontaneous musical performances who adopted Simba as a cub. Consider Pumbaa's backstory as a macho with a "sensitive soul", exiled from his herd for certain rectum-related issues, or ever histrionic Timon adorning himself with jewelry. The sexual tension is also clearly present during Nala and Simba's first meeting as adults, where Timon unmistakenly acts like a jealous lover. It's also obvious for adult viewers that "Hakuna Matata" is something of a hippy free-love inspired gay lifestyle.
Julian Perry
Explains a lot tbqh fam
Gavin Rodriguez
>MOM'S CHINA'S GONNA FREAK
Not only that but an automatic ban in Russia when the Slavs hear about this.
Julian Davis
>>>/waifuist/
>>>/avatarfag/
Landon Gomez
This sounds like something out of a fanfic.
Lucas Roberts
I need a source for that one. All I know is that males kill other male sons after having killed the adults first upon which the females go into heat and mate with the new leaders to create a new pride with the new alpha genes.
Joseph Gonzalez
Animals are fucked. Every time I read shit like this I feel lucky we evolved from bro-tier apes and not dolphins or something that gang rape for fun.
Elijah Sanchez
Is that why they were always chasing after "bugs"?
Camden Watson
(checked)
Really gets that noggin joggin iykwim
Thomas Evans
You people are retarded.
Easton Brown
smh tbqh What do you do with your life?
Hudson Clark
Not be a nigger.
Luis Fisher
Even "conservatives" are celebrating it. What the fuck happened to this country?
heatst.com
Jayden Carter
...
Evan Gonzalez
It's from July 1st you insufferable turd puncher
Andrew Campbell
OP.
God..goddamn it man come on.
Like jesus christ dude.
Oliver Brown
ugh I'm SO outraged at this RACIST anti-white BULLYING it's literally TERRORISM
but seriously, thank god the conservashits are finally dying out
Christopher Hernandez
>>>/reddit/
Parker Foster
You know what. you retards really fucking get me going something fierce. just to continue on your dummy ways.
Here is the original article:
archive.is
Here's the article explaining it was a joke:
archive.is
Charles Long
Go back to reddit.
William Powell
>>>/reddit/
Kayden Hall
So much for your "bro tier apes" hypothesis.
Thomas Miller
I tentatively concede that this was a prank. But you know Goddamn well they'd howl with glee if it were true.
Robert Green
Homosexuals deserve to burn
Aiden Price
Hakuna Pozmata! What a wonderful phrase
Hakuna Pozmata! Ain't no curing AIDS
It means barebacking for the rest of your days
It's our condom-free philosophy
Hakuna Pozmata!
James Cook
Heat St is left-libertarian, not conservative .
Blake Cox
They aren't doing SocJus pandering, they're doing furry pandering.
Look how well it worked with Zootopia.
Most furries are gay or bi, this is furbait.
Adrian Fisher
ZOOTOPIA WAS A WHOLESOME MOVIE
JUDY IS INNOCENT AND PURE
Daniel Brooks
...
Brayden Rogers
The Fox and the Rabbit are totally fucking at the end.
Jeremiah Smith
Some would blame Jews exclusively, but they were only one factor in a whole century of foreign influenced debauchery that lead to us being the dumbest, most degenerate nation in the west.
Henry Morales
LEWD
JUDY IS A GOOD GIRL
JUDY DINDU NUFFIN
Brayden Parker
HAS
Alexander Robinson
It would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.
Leo Murphy
NO
Jordan Gonzalez
Satire is dead user.
Zachary Moore
SHIT
Christopher Perez
Don't bullshit. You know these autists would be all for it. Satire and irony are dead.
Robert Murphy
...
Nathaniel Johnson
Satire? In current year this shit is damn probable.
Jason Hernandez
...
Kevin Ward
This cast…
Alexander Anderson
...
Bentley Diaz
This sounds too dumb to be true.
captcha: fDIXba
Hmm, maybe not.
Blake Green
lel
Josiah Wright
Dominic Thomas
If there's any truth to it, what'll probably happen is:
1. Reveal that this was an April Fools Day joke and laugh at the reaction.
B. Movie actually comes out but some side char is gay. Say, Zazu, or make the 3 hyenas a polyamouris group or some shit.
*. Proceed with "Well why are you against gays? Why couldn't Simba be gay? He was raised by gays, see how well he turned out?" Like they kinda did with Beauty and the Beast.
It's a fake with a left, and an incoming punch from the right.
Camden Bell
Seems more like viral marketing than anything else. Any controversy is good controversy if it gets people talking about their next rehash. Some exec probably dropped a hint to his favorite journo to start the fire.