What is Holla Forums's opinion on lamezone?

What is Holla Forums's opinion on lamezone?

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Never heard of it.

i'm not familiar with the Holla Forums moderation, is a quick 50 page dump ok?

sure

great

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This is painfully bad.

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how so?

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FIN

didn't he become a tranny or something? I know he's full tumblr nowadays

It's barely legible. This is probably what being colorblind feels like.

Wait, maybe I am colorblind.

The use of different paper colors for those pics reminds me of a childrens story book for some reason.

I liked it. I thought the colors were interesting. The story became a little boring after about halfway through, by the point of the blackhole fucking it felt like a broken record. I hope the creator feels better about him(her)self, there's clearly a story being this one, and it doesn't seem like a happy one.

Asscastle is a rare example of how to make a good intentionally bad comic.

Shmorky with even less talent.

what are you on about.

The creator as Shmorky, who the poster was referring to, has a somewhat similar style to the creator of the lamezone. Shmorky has drawn much diaper porn and is extremely into alternative gender spectrum ideas - many comix fans who are heavily into right-wing know of them (them being the single person) because of their absolutely batshit recorded arguments with their girlfriend that are halarious because Shomorky speaks in a horrid falsetto that's one of the least convincing, most artificial sounding things possible.

This has basically nothing to do with Cate of lamezone, who's transgender and very queer, but has nothing to do with diaperporn or underage furries (a lot to do with of age furs, though). They both write awkward dialogue, perverted stories about Disney looking creatures, and their stories are about sexuality, so the comparison isn't all that out of the blue. Lamezone comix are pretty quality and unqiue unlike Smorky's work, which never amounts to anything special, though either challenging storytelling or out of the box composition.

The writing is boring.
The art requires zero skill, compounded by the color choice, which makes reading the text a chore.
Children make more legible and more interesting comics than this. Much as ironic shitposting is still shitposting, ironically shitty art is still shitty. It's just crap.

Cate Wurtz (trannies pick the stupidest names) AKA Partydog AKA lmndrop draws tons of diaper and ageplay shit. Probably draws pedo shit too. furaffinity.net/user/lmndrp/

Are you blind and retarded? His comics are absolute shit in every way.

He also is blatantly influenced by/copies Shmorky.

I was mistaken.

…oh
I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised and I still think a lot of >her stuff is quite good but…
fuck.

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Never seen it

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So does he ever learn how to suck a dick properly?

That's kinda the point isn't it?
It's later implied he did kill himself at the end to go back to the ghostzone

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END

Looks shit and like The Weaver.

So it MUST be good! PATREON! DONATIONS! DING DING DING!

Asscastle: An Introduction

Some people like to jerk off while reading Asscastle. I prefer to read it right after I’m done jerking off – sitting here, my penis shriveling up inside the dirty underwear bunched up between my thighs, soaking in cold semen because I don’t have the heart to turn on the fluorescents in the bathroom and look at my wrinkled, limp, wet cock as I wipe it off with toilet paper and think sea monster, it looks like a sea monster, it looks like the fucking Kraken, sitting here instead, in the dark, with no lights on except the computer screen because of my shame, having x-ed out of youtube the minute the orgasm stopped feeling good and just became meaningless twitches of my already aching dick. These are optimal conditions for reading Asscastle.

Asscastle is a difficult work to explain. It exists in juxtapositions. It’s a pornographic comic that’s disillusioned with pornography. It’s an expression of both vulnerability and coolness, like being naked and wearing sunglasses. The comic has a scribbly, rushed feel to it, as if the author created the whole thing in one manic sitting, but the comic’s underlying subtleties betray the deep – perhaps unconsciously deep – thought that went into it. And it’s these underlying subtleties that I’ll be exploring in the next 2000 words or so. Adjust your penis to a more comfortable drying position and we’ll begin.

Sexual Identity/Exploration

Asscastle is a story dealing with sexual awakenings and explorations, told in a surrealist, retrospective manner. The story begins post-coitally – our eponymous hero is even smoking the obligatory cigarette. (Cigarettes are a pretty prevalent motif in Asscastle, being straight up phallic symbolism, basically). From here, Asscastle falls into a wet dream (which is the easiest way to read it – it doesn’t give the surrealist nature of it justice to say “it was all a dream”, but I’m trying to explain things here, not make them more complicated) where he relives his sexual history from its origins in an absurdist fashion. His first sexual experience seems completely baffling and foreign to him at the time, and we see this manifested in the erection his floor inexplicably grows, which he must deal with. From here, we see him branch out sexually as he discovers both natural (the Handjob Forest) and artificial (the black hole machine) means of stimulation. Asscastle feels much more comfortable with the natural means; his handjob in the Handjob Forest, in fact, marks the only sexual encounter he seems to get any joy out of. As artificial means of stimulation basically relate back to the wide world of sex toys, we can interpret Asscastle’s reluctance in “fucking a machine” as an embarrassment of using such equipment.

Asscastle’s real brilliance stems from the fact that its structure mirrors these sexual encounters. The most immediate proof is that the comic’s climax comes simultaneously with the first successful sexual climax depicted in the comic. Furthermore, in the vein of Márquez’s 100 Years of Solitude as well as many other works of magical realism (a genre which, yes, I would classify Asscastle under, due to its combination of magical and realistic details [no shit] and its hinted allusions to fairy tales, which will be discussed later), Asscastle plays with the passage of time in a way that disorientates the reader. Several times in Asscastle, sudden time-jumps are used, where action is occurring and then, abruptly, it’s not. We see this first in the scene wherein Asscastle is in the middle of jerking his floor off when, suddenly, we find that he has been “fucking the ground for like thirty seconds.” This is seen again later when Asscastle asks the Ghost of Bob Saget when they will arrive in Ghostzone, only to be informed that they’ve “been here like five minutes.” This theme of abrupt resolution – a conflict is built up, only to be abandoned before a true climax is reached – strongly echoes the idea of premature ejaculation. Things reach an unexpected and unsatisfying conclusion before we want them to, and we’re left unsettled and disoriented. So in this we see another way Asscastle plays with the similarities between the structure of a story and the structure of sex.

Sex and Death

These are the two biggies. Sexual activity and death seem to be irrevocably linked in Asscastle. Shit, this is evident on the first page: Asscastle finishes masturbating to gay porn, then contemplates suicide. We see this connection pop up again and again: Asscastle refers to his mother’s death; his floor pops a woody. The majority of the narrative – and Asscastle’s sexual experiences – take place in a ghostly afterlife. And it’s not just death that sex is connected to – there’s also a strong correlation to lifelessness, inhumanity, and impersonality. Asscastle has sexual encounters with floors, trees, a ghost dick with an unseen and belligerent owner, and various machines, but never with an actual fellow human being (or whatever he is).

So what’s the message that Asscastle is trying to convey with its constant linkage of death with sex? Is it a disillusionment with homosexuality, a frustration that comes with the inability to produce life? Nah, I don’t think so. Consider this: at the climax of the comic, Asscastle has a sexual experience that actually saves his life – sucking off GoBS’s machine. With this, the style of the comic undergoes a complete revolution: from sparse lines and pastels, we’re suddenly presented with vibrant, photocollagic panels. This violent change would seem to contradict and dissolve the sex/death theme, but it doesn’t. Despite the suggestion of epiphany that comes with the stylistic alteration, Asscastle seems surprised and disappointed with the lack of realization and understanding that accompanies his first really successful sexual encounter. In the final panel, we see a regression back to the initial style, as well as a repetition of one of Asscastle’s first lines: “Maybe I’ll kill myself”. These details, taken together, point to a pretty definite declaration that nothing has really changed. And this revelation, I think, is where we start to see one of the major underlying themes of Asscastle, and the reason for the expressed connection between sex and death: sex is completely overhyped and overrated, and in reality it is incredibly fucking depressing and dehumanizing. Asscastle, basically, is Song Against Sex in comic form.

Adultcastle

Another message Asscastle insinuates is that adulthood is not the culmination of a lifetime of growing up, but rather a simple bastardization of childhood. We see this as much in the way the story is told as in the story itself. Elements are taken from various childhood tales and memories and reused in a fucked-up sort of fashion. Like a misremembered fairy tale, Asscastle has “three wicked stepmothers.” The characters are all anthropomorphizations of generic animal-things, recalling the style of countless kids’ picture books. The bastardization here, of course, comes with the fact that the entire comic deals with sex.

We also see an erasure of the division between childhood and adulthood in the childish ways the adult characters act. All the adults in this comic are either selfish assholes or oblivious morons, or a combination of the two. The stepmothers tell their son to “fuk off”; GoBS tries to take Asscastle’s place in the world of the living without even understanding why he’s doing it; Death himself seems pretty clueless. There’s also a veiled critique of adult establishments that can be seen throughout the comic. The “uniform” Asscastle must wear consists of embarrassing woman’s attire. Despite the apparent bureaucracy of Ghostzone, with its system uniforms and badges, it is in reality in total disarray. Its jail – certainly an institution of adults – is a “stupid jail” that anyone can walk out of. And science – a pinnacle of adult reasoning, and represented here by (obviously) the character of the ghost scientist – is exposed as largely a sham in Asscastle: when it works, you can’t even see the results of it, and as it’s presented here, it will almost inevitably fail.

Mom & Dad

Considering you only see any of Asscastle’s parental figures in one page of the comic, you’d figure that they wouldn’t play much of a role in it. In fact, their absence is a key point in Asscastle, and we see this underlined in numerous ways.

The things that happen to Asscastle in this comic happen largely because of his own apparent directionlessness. His only future plans are vague contemplations of suicide. When his stepmothers kick him out, he says he has “nowhere to go”. When GoBS invites him to go on an adventure, Asscastle’s response is an unmotivated “oh”. And what causes this loss of direction in the protagonist? The absence of a parental figure to help guide him.

Let’s start with the father figure. Asscastle’s actual father is entirely missing from the comic – telling in of itself – but he seems to be represented by the Ghost of Bob Saget, who guides Asscastle – though in all the wrong directions. Going with the interpretation that GoBS and the rest of Ghostzone are merely parts of a dream of Asscastle’s (and again, this is oversimplifying it, but I really don’t have time to get into everything), we’re seeing GoBS the way Asscastle sees his father – an uncaring, intimidating, completely unhelpful buffoon. The choice of Bob Saget as the (alleged) identity of the ghost isn’t just a quirky pop culture reference. After all, what is Bob Saget known for more than playing the loving, caring father character on Full House? (Ok, hosting America’s Funniest Home Videos or whatever, I don’t give a shit.) And the fact that he’s the ghost of Bob Saget – well, first off, there’s the ghost part, implying he’s merely a shadow of what a good father should be. Secondly, it’s called into question whether he really is any form of Bob Saget, as the real Bob Saget isn’t dead. This suggests Asscastle’s doubts that his father is really a father to him in any way. GoBS certainly doesn’t make a good case for himself, either – he’s abrasive, crude, and ends up purposely misleading Asscastle for his own benefit. In the end, though, he’s shown not as cruel, but merely as apathetic towards Asscastle. He lets Asscastle resume his place among the living, but his only piece of advice is “I guess you just suck at blowjobs.”

And now let’s deal with the tricky subject of Asscastle’s mother. While the disconnect between Asscastle and his father was clearly the fault of the father, the distance between Asscastle and the mother figures that appear briefly in the narrative seems to have been initiated by Asscastle himself. Most blatantly, absolutely no females are present in Ghostzone. Again assuming this is a depiction of Asscastle’s mind, the fact that he spends much of his time thinking about rude male figures and literally no time thinking about women is strongly indicative of Asscastle’s apathy towards mother figures. Then there’s the quote that made me start thinking about this theme in the first place, of course: when Asscastle, completely out of the blue, tells GoBS that he “never really felt bad about his mother’s death”. And it’s not like he’s an uncaring guy – the fact that he’s concerned that the haunting has something to do with this lack of emotion tells us that he feels guilty about not caring, which in turn implies that he is aware that the detachment between him and his mother is his own fault. And furthermore, what causes him to feel this detachment seems to be his homosexuality. We see this in the fact that when he voices this concern to GoBS, he is immediately distracted by the erection his floor has; from this point he ventures into a series of homosexual escapades at the exclusion of women. The idea of his homosexuality distancing him from his mother and female figures can also seen in his conflict with his stepmothers – the reason he comes into conflict with them in the first place is because he masturbated to gay porn, a fact that the stepmothers, with a Kafkaesque omniscience, knew about immediately.

Conclusioncastle

This analysis is probably pretty disjointed and by no means complete, but I’m fucking tired, so I’m concluding it. Anyways, Asscastle is a pretty good webcomic. I’m not going to descend into hyperbole and call it “the greatest achievement in the field of webcomics since that arc in Achewood where Phillipe got kidnapped by Nice Pete”, but overall it’s a pretty fucking intelligent exploration of homosexuality and coming to terms with it, and certainly it’s the best fucking thing to be produced by a furry with the explicit intention of being masturbatory. Honestly, though, Smokes - by the same author, and about the same length as Asscastle – is like twice as good as Asscastle and the only reason Asscastle is so popular is because people jerk off to it. That’s why I sat down and wrote this essay, or whatever the fuck this is – to lay down some actual, logical reasons as to why Asscastle is a good comic, other than “it gives me a boner”. So the next time you’re jerking off to Asscastle, remember that you’re not just jerking off to gay porn, you’re jerking off to fucking art. And yes, it still makes you gay. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go wipe off my penis.

That's a lot of bullshit trying to pretend the shitty poorly made garbage porn comic isn't just shitty.

It's shit. Trying to pretend it isn't shit isn't going to make it not shit.

Just like how him pretending to be a woman doesn't make him a woman.

Holy shit what the fuck is this!

The comic's writer fellating himself, probably

DO YOU HAVE THE LEMONDROP COLLECTION?

bump for porn

Why? It's all available on Cate's FA page, linked . Good luck gettin' someone who actually payed for the games / piss pack.

It's either that, or it some of the most impressive shitposting I've seen.

it's like the artist has a personal hatred of my eyeballs

i payed for one of the games but dont feel like shelling out more cash for the piss pack but i still really want it

This is now a David Reimer memorial thread.

bump for porn

I started this meme. It's true.

someone must have the piss pack and be willing to upload

user I'm sure that at this level of art quality you could probably draw a whole ton of piss porn yourself and be happy. The least you could do is have good taste in artists.

whats wrong with lamezone?

The art quality is piss-poor

It's pretty lame

heh

Why on Earth would you necrobump this shit thread? Especially to make that shit comment?

Cuz' their thirsty for that piss porn. I should post some latter lamezone comix honestly. Asscastle is really complete shit other than the odd value of its art and (lack of) storytelling. The later Lamezone comics are much more aesthetically pleasing and tell interesting stories with actual characters. With that said, they're free and I think anyone here who actually likes Cate's work already would have already downloaded them.

because