MERRY CWC-MAS!

Build up your heart-levels and put out your signs, it's CWC-Mas time once again!

This Friday, February the 24, is the 35th Birthday of Christopher Christian Christine Weston Chandler, better known to the world as CHRIS-CHAN! Yes, that seminal genius Chris-Chan, internet famous for drinking his own cum and macing gamestop employees SONICHU, THE ELECTRIC HEDGE-HOG POKEMON!

To celebrate the birth and the life of this giant among men, I will be story-timing Sonichu all this week until CWC-Mas Day!

So break out some Fanta and try not to crash into slumber as we enjoy possibly the most influential comic series ever to be produced!

Other urls found in this thread:

sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page
sonichu.com/cwcki/CWCki:Frequently_Asked_Questions
youtube.com/watch?v=bXjnakAlF-s
sonichu.com/cwcki/Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby
sonichu.com/cwcki/A-Logging
sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Category:Unused_fan_art&filefrom=F1p09.jpg#mw-category-media
youtube.com/watch?v=SmX5cnQ1YAg
youtube.com/watch?v=ib4c4G9__Jk
youtube.com/watch?v=BX-7BlRc_a0
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

Aw shit it's time.

Thread Theme

I remember when he was first discovered. Those mysterious pictures posted in 2007 of a shadowy, Pokemon warrior wearing a medallion.

If only we knew the amazing horror we'd unleashed.

Even his own creations misgender him.
Life must be suffering when no one understands your cognitive dissonance repressed gender.

YES

Fuck introducing characters through story-telling. We've got to get that shit out now.

Please note the importance placed on the mall. Around this time Chris was loitering around shopping centers looking for girlfriend free girls.

This was made before his "Tom Girl" phase, but with everything Chris related, it's mysterious and bizarre. Is Christ really a tranny? Is he just pretending to be one to get closer to girls? Is he "transitioning" because women live longer and wants to become one in hopes of being immortal?

Really, who fucking knows?

Lord have mercy

I knew that user, I was just trying to make a meme joke.

Also

If I was as autistic as Chris, I'd get everyone together to do a Holla Forums sings, as I don't think we've ever done one.

Random Access Humor. I've read this numerous times over the years and I still have no idea what that means. Chris at times is like trying to understand the nature of God. He's simply beyond our ability to understand.

Chris did get his degree in computer aided drafting and design, but he's still single and lonely, doubly so now that his dad is dead and he's been reduced to a life of cross-dressing and bandaging his mom's bed sores.

It's Christian love day you uncultured swine.

I fucking miss his old comics.
The people who fucked with him online so much he stopped making them can suck a dick, especially the retards who took down his sites.
He was always funnier with little to no outside influence.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this a million times, i hear his trolls are sadder than him

His ex-fake girlfriends are really pathetic, especially Kacey (Siana). She and Ian Brandon something's actually married each other but the relationship is falling apart. She pesters Ian Brandon something to buy her McFlurries almost everyday and you can't criticize her because she's part of the inner circle. Apparently Ian now sings love songs in California and writes self-insert fanfiction of him fucking Princess Zelda because his marriage is lacking.

I also hear that Clydecash is now a SJW tranny.

Their relationship was never really together. She's so fat and ugly her husband won't fuck her, but he won't leave her either because he's got confidence issues stemming from his withered arm (amongst other things) and thinks he'd die alone if he divorced his wife.

That's Cogsdev, founder of the CWCki. Clyde Cash ran the P4R Gaming parody site.

I can't remember what broke him enough to stop making comics. Was it Bob's death?

What did he mean by this?

He's new

Chris was never really broken, he just got lazy. His comics were always a way for him to vent about his life, and once he got social media, there wasn't a need anymore. Chris had virtually no creative drive to begin with, so the idea he would stop just because isn't without merit.

Also, you need to keep in mind that while what remains of his trolls are pathetic, Chris himself is beyond all help, hope, or pity. Chris is a monstrous human being, a deadly mixture of autism, ego, and stupidity. He isn't a creature to be sympathized with, but to be despised. He's done terrible things before the trolls and after the trolls, with no regard for the consequences or harboring any remorse.

So laugh at him. Mock him. You're doing the world a favor.

If he's not broken then why did he go tomgirl?

Because he's retarded. That's the answer to 90% of questions about Chris. He thinks that dressing up like a girl will help him land girls

...

Fair point although that's not what user meant by 'broken'

This is half true, there was a correlation between his websites being hacked back in the day and him not making more comics. he didn't have anywhere to uploaded them and you know how well he deals with stress, and trolls were really fucking stressful to him, so combined with his laziness those things just killed his drive to make more comics.

Honest answer is he got trolled into it. Chris is so retarded he let internet people make him go tranny. Which, I'm told, pissed off a few of his SJW super serious trolls, which is funny as fuck if true.

I didn't know he ran P4R, I really liked that website, damn shame it stopped updating.

I'm pretty sure the inner circle did what it could to make him go tranny.

It's dead, user. The domain is up for sale.

At this point I can't feel nothing but pity for the fat fuck. You can hear the sadness in it's voice. 35 years and he has done nothing but live in his fantasy world and play with toys and videogames.

Chris already displayed feminine traits before, but I haven't found any evidence substantiating that it was the trolls who made him go "tomgirl". Becoming a girl seems to be something genuine from Chris himself. Being a "tomgirl" seems to be a product of his own bizarre reasoning.

Blaming the trolls for everything wrong with Chris is naive. He's perfectly capable of being stupid on his own. As for the site, he gave his passwords to the trolls. Not a keylogger, not some deep hack, Chris just gave them the passwords of all the sites he had because he's that much of an egotistical idiot.

No one is blaming the trolls for everything, the inner circle has always been interested in fucking Chris' life for lulz.

The ride never ends

Sorry I was actually stuck on IM mode

I hated the fake girlfriend sagas, another user said it and I agree a million times over with him, but the girlfriend sagas
preyed on Chris' loneliness, but I like the sagas that preyed on his delusions on how famous he was like the Miyamoto saga, the Surfshack Tito, and Liquid Chris

These are the most recent pictures. I believe the Kacey one is from 2015 and the liquid one 2014. I wonder what they look like today.

Good god she looks like a butterface.

What is the inner circle?

A group of trolls obsessed with getting content from Chris. They are behind most gal pal sagas and are believed to have played a role in chris becoming a tomgirl.

They stared into the autiss, and the autiss stared back into them.
That or Curse-ye-ha-me-ha actually works.

Ouch. I still had it in my bookmarks too.
F

I would agree with you if I hadn't see so many conversations the "inner circle" people had about Chris. They had a lot of autistic planning and stalking throughout the years and frequently pushed Chris to do shit. For quite a long period of time in Chris history if you assumed someone was behind him making an ass of himself, you'd be right. Them pushing him to do stuff was so common, sometimes you'd see them pop up in the old /cwc/ board when CWC did something without them egging him to do it, just to clarify he did that one thing on his own (I've seen it more than once, posts going "This time we swear we didn't tell him to do this, he just did it by himself.")
I'm pretty sure I've seen screencaps of their forums with talks about the tomgirl shit too, but this is a really vague memory, so I might be wrong.

She looks a bit like Chris in drag.

He should feel lucky that no one else was there.

Did Chris give up on making comics?

kinda but some dude payed him 500$ for 50 pages but he only made a few

Last time he made the comic was 2 years ago and that was just him finishing up the Christmas special.

Sonichu is my fucking shit.

I was going to say exactly this. Liquid married Chris essentially

It's a lot of fun to draw fanart of this.

The worst part is that he can do so much better than her. Only thing stopping him from getting a divorce and getting a much more attractive woman is his low self esteem and maybe because of his arm.

is this a manhunt mod?

I've heard that a lot of the inner circle are SJWs now. I wonder how progressive they feel about bullying a 35 year old autist?

It'd make a great TC for a Fallout game IMO.

Well, I know that Cogsdev who created the CWCki and is now an SJW tranny, is rather embarrassed about the whole thing and tried to nuke the CWCki on at least one occasion. He's also rather salty about Chris becoming 'tomgirl' for reasons that should be obvious

i'm not saying it wouldn't but the lolcows reminded me of a manhunt gang or rather a gang from manhunt

Apparently 'Liquid's family really don't like her

So we all know Kacey's a shit but where are all the other heartsweets now?

Not surprising. Manhunt had some really cool, over-the-top gangs. But the lolcows in particular were based off the Crossed.

If Chris weren't an internet legend, you could probably sneak those guys inbetween some groups of Skinz and Smileys and nobody would notice.

No Liquid was writing that fanfic before they got married, she made him burn it

This shouldn't upset me as much as it does.

I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this. There is no way anyone would willingly hang out with Chris.

fake and gay

He's trolling. Chris often complains how lonely he is and how no one wants to be his friend.

I'm pretty sure he wrote it in secret during their marriage. It wasn't even a sex fanfic, it just had some sex scenes here or there with rather detailed descriptions. Of course, this was enough to set Kacey off because Liquid won't touch her, and I think he claimed it was because he didn't feel particularly sexual.

Really? Well that's a shame. I thought Liquid Chris had the best trolling effort. Didn't know he married proto-Christine.

An autist who has (or had, but these people never forget) Christianity-based objections to homosexuality, though. In the eyes of an SJW such a crime is worth an eternity of merciless punishment.

Those that still troll Chris (I make a distinction between those gathering information on him from those that actively still troll him) are few and are a sad lot. They're not just interested in Chris, they need Chris. The "inner circle" are social outcasts who were bullied in school, are failures at life, and Chris is the only person they can feel superior to. Their lives revolve around him. Causing the near unfeeling lump that is Chris any form of discomfort or humiliation is an outlet for their own misery.

And that is why you find that many of them are SJW. The social justice movement allows the bullied to become the bullies, to vent their frustration, anger, and pain upon others under the cloak of righteousness. Thus, the "inner circle" aren't SJW because of any real belief of equality, but rather because it allows them to inflict suffering and hate upon others without feeling it's morally wrong.

Well you do know what passes as a normal college student theses days so it wouldn't surprise me if someone spent time with Chris to show how progressive they are.

Time for Issue #1 proper of Sonichu.

In this stunning episode, we learn that wild cherry cola is what turns creatures black, and possibly evil.

I think this comic has the first, and last, appearance of Dr. Eggman in the Sonichu series. That's a boon to me because his face is terrifying.

Chris-Chan lives in the mall. Malls are an important facet of Chris's life. It was at a mall where THE BEAR rechristened Christopher with the name Christian. It was at a mall where Chris won his shopping spree, and the Charlottesville Fashion Square was a key hunting spot for his ongoing Love Quest.

The Charlottesville Fashion Square was also the location of him macing a Gamestop employee.

For those doubting the Kay-Bee Sonic Shopping Spree.

I appreciate that Chris included a map of the situation because his rendering makes the flow of events rather vague.

(SATAN WILLS IT)

I get the feeling Sonichu and Sonic want to fuck. It just seems like that's whats going on there with the twenty questions session.

You can see on the next page an advertisement for Chris's own Pokemon cards. He used to frequent the local GAMe PLACe, and engage in Pokemon tournaments with the other, younger, players. He attempted to use his own custom cards numerous times with no success. He also got his first ban for yelling at other Pokemon players, but that story and the other GAMe PLACe stories (such as his attempted murder of the owner) are for another time.

I wish at times that I could go back and tell a slightly younger Chris that no, Eggman doing a musical number wouldn't be the stupidest thing he's ever drawn in his life. That title is reserved for drawing so stupid that it ruined his entire life.

Eggman lost his body there on page 28. I hope he finds it soon. The last thing I need is that ghoulish face becoming Andross.

So Metal Sonichu is blasted to the moon.This is the beginning of the side fan comic, Moon Pals, a druggy comic that caused Chris much rage. The comic itself is pretty funny.

Shadow Black Sonichu gets his teeth knocked out and Rosechu and Amy Rose meet at the mall. Chris-Chan, on the other hand, is going to change his save money on his car insurance by switching to Get-Co. This is funny because Chris doesn't pay for his own car insurance and he tried to run a man over with his car.

Christian and the Hedge-Hog Boys. The first appearence of Sonichu and is a real album Chris put together. It's 21 minutes of him singing. The full version is on youtube if you want to subject yourself to it.

We are once again given an update on Chris's on-going Love Quest as it was going in 2004-2005. Around this time, he briefly met a girl named Hannah (retconned later to Fandanna) who trolled him with a date because Chris was loitering around the mall with a sign requesting a boy-friend free girl.

I noticed how Chris removed any real agency from Hanna in his retelling. It was her bosses idea or her friend's idea, when in reality it was her idea. It's almost like Chris couldn't fathom why a girl wouldn't be interested in him.

This issue closes with Chris yelling a big "NOOOOO!", which is something that actually happened. In public. Which netted him his second ban from the Charlottesville Fashion Square.

>You may want to look up _____ in a search
Ok now i'm seriously confused

I have no idea. That is part of the mystery of Chris-Chan.

Who cares about Chris Chan, let's turn this into a Jojo thread instead!

Stardust Crusaders is the best part, prove me wrong.

...

I wonder what Chris-Chan's stand would be.

How long have they been doing this?

Jotaro Kujo is so boring compared to Joseph Joestar.

Stand Name:「Turning Japanese」
Ability: Illusion/Delusion Generation
Power: B (While the CWC-verse might be vast and all-consuming, any chance of any of it being mistaken as real by anyone but the user is next-to-nothing)
Speed: D (Would be higher, but everyone in the CWC-verse is prone to monologues, slowing any real threat down.)
Range:D-Infinite (Limited to Chris-chan's local area, but can travel through the internet as well)
Staying: A (You couldn't forget about Sonichu if you tried. You'll take breaks, sure, but you're never getting off of CWC's wild ride)
Precision: C (Can reflect local events of the user, but they suffer the same filter the rest of his illusions do.)
Learning: ??? (The CWC-verse isn't governed by logic that anyone but the user can really comprehend)

Probably right after he was discovered by 4chan and ED, at the very least after the Megan saga.

this man speaks the truth

hey that's pretty good Chris-Chan cospla-
oh, that's Kacey, holy shit

Ever since the internet discovered Chris.

Maybe that's why Liquid won't fuk her.
Maybe the first time they did it, he had a CWC flashback and screamed JULAYYYYYY!
Maybe her made her wear the purple goggles and Sonichu medallion.

Hurr, I know I would.

Joseph Joestar's a cocky, arrogant little shit.

I don't think they've actually ever had sex

I don't think the stuff about Liquid and Kacey not having sex is true.

I've seen dudes with far uglier, far fatter wives who fuck them daily. The thing about men is, if we have a vagina all to ourselves, we'll fuck it, no matter how nasty it is.

I think we all know the real truth, Liquid really wants Chris, bent duck, taintgina and all.

This was confirmed by people who know them. One of these people, I think, might be Liquid's brother

Given his wife, I wouldn't be surprised

He did marry a chick that kinda looks like Chris.

I'd take any anonymous "confirmation" with a grain of salt.

Don't get me wrong, I believe a lot of it, but not all of it, and not completely in the way it's relayed to us.

I just need to know if the Mcflurry thing is true. If it is then that is a whole new level of sad.

Have you seen the woman? Does this not look like a McFlurry-a-day kind of woman to you?

Fair point. I wonder how fat Kacey is now.

Normally I'd agree with scepticism but one look at the two of them tell me that, yeah, most of it's true.

Fatter than Chris for sure

We're halfway to Chris's birthday and I've got a lot of comics yet to post.

Issue #2 opens with THE CAVE OF DESTINY, a place only Sonichu and Chris may enter. As the prophecy is told, it appears that it's not directed toward Chris, the character, but Chris himself. I think this might illustrate Chris's belief that everything that happens in Sonichu is real and that he is, arguably, the God of his own universe.

Chris believes that he is of Native American heritage, the Cherokee to be exact. Considering how common it is for people in the South to claim Cherokee linage, Chris's claim is in doubt.

Chris access his anchunt powers to become Chris-Chan Sonichu, the most OP of all Sonichus. We're also introduced to Wes Iseli, a party magician who earned the ire of Chris for dating the other character we're shown, Sarah Hammer, one of Chris's "gal pals" from High School.

This marks the point when Chris's real life problems start bleeding into Sonichu proper. Now there is no going back.

...

Chris makes an enemy of someone who has probably forgot Chris even existed by the time this was released, and a romantic partner of a girl who only thought of him as a friend.

But during the Stone Age…

But during the Stone Age…

But during the Stone Age…

Apparently Chris can just activate Yugi-Oh cards for reasons.

I was reading through this, and I realized just how fucking baffling this comic is without knowing about Chris's life experiences. Chris talks about his jealousy to some recently introduced badguy for no reason and Sarah is shocked that Wes Li is a bad guy even though she's never met him in the story.

Chris tried to market this. A comic that only he could understand.

…he's got autism

GOT semen mixed with Fanta MILK?

Wes Li and Sarah break up, just like how they did in real life, except with more hedgehogs and Chris-Chan.

Yes. He has massive autism, and that is what makes the comic fascinating. It's his own vicarious autobiography.

Here are the two villains that are going to be the main adversaries of Sonichu: Mary Lee Walsh, Dean of Student Affairs at Piedmont Piedmont Virginia Community College, where Chris studied for his CADD degree, and Count Graduon, the living embodiment of Chris's high school graduation.

That badly drawn taxi got a chuckle out of me.

To say that Mary Lee Walsh is the most important person in Chris-Chan's life is an understatement. As the first adult who rejected Chris's autism as an excuse for him to do whatever he wanted, she has earned his undying hatred which lasts to this day.

I'm just saying, you're surprised by the fact he tried to market a comic that makes sense to him and him alone?

Oh no. It's perfectly within his narcissistic character to think that average people would buy a copyright infringing comic that requires knowledge of the intimate details of his life to truly understand.

It's more entertaining the possibility that the wiki which chronicles his life and the garnering the interest of trolls might been created as necessary backstory to fully appreciating Sonichu.

Issue #2 ends with Chris defeating (?) Mary Lee Walsh. It's kinda vague and left on a cliffhanger, maybe.

I love how he both envisions himself as cucked by Chad and as Sarah's emergency dick in a glass case

Issue #3 opens with Sonichu Babies! Chris was covering all his bases.

BOULDER DROPPING WHALE.

Best character.

Chris shows off an artistic rendering of his Myspace page, for some reason. Remember when Myspace used to be a thing?

Also, it's the Master Sunstone, and shouldn't be confused with the Master Emerald.

Giovanni from Pokemon shows up again so that we can get all the new Sonichu's together. Every time we get back to #1 stuff it always feels like a completely different book.

Flame the Sunbird bemoans his lack of pants. Chris, Flame's lord and creator, could've easily given him pants, but instead chooses to make his creation miserable through the lack of them.

You mean a niggo?

Holy fuck.
Although making a reference to "Pot of greed" and then pulling a Yu-Gi-Oh card out of nowhere is ironically on YGOTAS tier and type of randomness.

Did Chris make a reference on page 27? I think he did but I'm not sure.

Chris isn't shy about his autism. He freely admits he's an autistic. It's his entire identity and the key to understanding his bizarre behavior. He views his autism as something that makes him a victim, an ubermensch, and blameless.

I don't think Chris would oppose human trafficking.

Sub-Episode 4 is a retelling of his banishment from a Wal-Mart McDonald's in 2005. That McDonalds used to be a prime attraction location where he would loiter for hours with his sign looking for boyfriend-free girls to impregnate love?

Anyway, he has his girl's anime wing hairclips that he got at a convention! FEEL THE LEVEL-UP!

Everything in Chris's life is personal. A security guy just trying to do his job, make it through the nine-to-five at store frequented by the dregs of humanity, is clearly out to commit horrible malice upon him and are deadly enemies in his Love Quest.

I strongly suggest reading the speech Chris has on page 43. It's like a short manifesto of his personal philosophy on life. Fuck the rules, fuck everyone, fuck the world, give me bitches or die.

Issue #3 closes with Chris being confronted by W-M-MANAJERK, RULER OF THE MAL-WART REGION!

WHO IS THIS W-M-MANAJERK? CAN CHRIS OVER-COME HIS EVIL POWER? WILL CHRIS SUCCEED IN HIS LOVE QUEST? Eh, we'll find out in the next issue probably.

Lady of Peace.
She just fucking killed him.

Did this really happened?
At least he implies the *gasp* now, he's improving.

He looks more confused than sad or angry.
Wait, wasn't Wes-Li the evil force that was released , or his master (I guess) wouldn't he know where the evil being is?

>The EVIL being MAY BE evil.
Lady of peace.

Nigger what? Also, what happened in his highschool graduation?

How the fuck did they got to CWCville faster than Sonichu, not only he's Sonichu, not only are they in bubbles but Sonichu flatout started running well before them.
Is he our guy Holla Forums?
Or just end the contract, since its a Golem.
Wait if Rosechu and Sonichu both call Chris-Chan father does this makes them brothers?

Why just not call the cab to Ruckersville, I mean, he's the Mayor.
Holy kekels.

I love the terminology "Boyfriend-Free girl"
Why?
Link?

Okay, I'm a writefag who's drawcurious and learning to draw myself.
In my first attemp at drawing I already drew better than Chris-chan, fuck I drew better my middle school comic, it was stickmen but at least I knew about depth perception.
If I actually make my comic I'll be sure to mention him.

Oh sweet newfag. You are about to go on the most amazing journey into madness you can't fully comprehend.

The CWCiki, the repository of all collected knowledge about Chris-Chan.

sonichu.com/cwcki/Main_Page

It will have answers to your questions, and may God and the Bear have mercy on your soul.

Personally, I'd start here.

sonichu.com/cwcki/CWCki:Frequently_Asked_Questions

What the fuck happened there?

So wait, all female electric hedgehogs are Rosechus and all males are Sonichus.
So Rosechu's and Sonichus are literally called male and female? Plus being brother and sister.

I wanna fuck Angelica, the humble servant of the Loord.

The fuck's happening in that first page?
Holy crap, is he gonna beat up a baby?
Wait what? I studied under the G.D.W. shinabe? YOU JUST HATCHED.

Doesn't the stone only works in the island?
I don't think we need a map scope for that third pic, although that second panel and the drill peck are surprisingly well drawn by his standards.
So all the chu's lived next to each other…. well that's convenient.

Yes. Vid.
That was surprisingly more well thought than I expected.

That attack panel belongs in a museum.
Huh, you would guess Chris browses Holla Forums.
The amount of times I could have used that as a reaction pic to whatever whiner in this site.

Seriously, outright copying a Monthy Pyton joke?

I don't get it, he just pwnd the Bmanajerk, what does he means he's not risking getting a punch in the face?

I'm not quite as newfag, well I guess I am if I've been avoiding chris chan threads all this years.

My next writefag project is gonna be a homage/parody to Chris-chan I already named it "Black Metal Combat"
It'll portray my usual gang as they escort Christopher Christian, a mad scientist creator of a new super weapon, a yellow (With red dots at the sides) cannon, the guy's a creep and tries to hit with all the girls from my cast, well except the black chick.
The gang protects him from all the attackers, when they discover that the attackers are really the local, legal goverment forces they realize how much of a fucking nutjob the scientist is.
I really want to learn to draw better by june though.

Chris isn't referring to the Bmanajerk, but to other males in real life. He believes that most women have boyfriends and that those boyfriends would punch him in the face should he approach them. Thus, the Attraction Sign, which he believed would attract the attention of "boyfriend free girls".

Really, you should look this shit up.

But it was Chris chan who said it.
In what levels of reality this shit works?

Chris-Chan is Chris. There is no "Chris-Chan" character. They aren't separate entities. In Christian Weston Chandler's world, there is no divide between fiction and reality. Chris believes that Sonichu, Rosechu, and others actually exist. For him they are real, living creatures. Anyone who doesn't think they exist, in Chris's deranged mind, is retarded.

Sonichu is Chris's adventures in his own little world, one that is both the same and different from ours. A world where he has the power of life and death.

This is of course why Chris went so apeshit over being made to kill Simonla. He may have felt more for the death of a fictional character than the death of his own father.

Naive is the word he used

That sounds fun.
I just want to make a documentary.

Where can I download this series?

Stop being this new

I still can't figure out what Chris meant by "Merried Seinor Comic." even if it's supposed to be "Married senior comic" I still can't figure out how that makes sense.

You're not alone

No one understands it, Chris might not even understand it since his explanations for it and that stone age joke make even less sense than the joke itself.

Best character Yawning Squirtle, FIGHT ME!

Random Access Humor
Is his way to say he can't even understand lulzsorandumb and believes that unrequested non-sequiturs are random humor.
What he doesn't understands is that for random humor to be funny the very first thing you must do is make sure the rest of the job makes sense ir has rules at all.

Reading his wiki melt my brain a little thank god shit stopped working.

Did anyone ever ask him about it? I kind of get the Stone Age one, surprisingly

Some collage kid made a documentary about Chris-chan some time ago,i'm surprised no one has posted it yet it's pretty interesting so if any user here has any patience to webm that shit i will be forever grateful.

youtube.com/watch?v=bXjnakAlF-s

Who is your favorite Sonichu villain?

sonichu.com/cwcki/Manajerks#Merried_Seinor_Comic.2FKirby

It's a mystery to even the most dedicated CWC archivists and researchers.
But they did work out that "Anchuent Prophecy" must be a retarded pun on "Pikachu".

Am I the only one who sees similarities in Lucas to CWC?

...

Is there any chance thar after we've journeyed through the comics, we could have some of the parody videos posted up? A bunch of them were taken off YT, like the SF Alpha version of his Chun-Li-self-battle.
My favourite was the unfinished Western version of Chris's life.

Silvana, because she gave Blackichu the dick.

...

Perfect Chaos is from Sonic Adventure. It's not an original Chris creation.

Newfag.

But see, I'm not autistic enough to be a sonicfag :^)

...

It's eight in the morning. I just got up. Gotta post the Sonichu.

Issue #4, for the time being, has dispensed with episodes proper and now goes full on into the sub-episodes based on Chris's life. Sonichu only appears in cameos on pages 55 and 57.

Chris's comment about showers is funny because Chris rarely, if ever, bathes.

There is no Crystal Weston Chandler in Chris's life. Her creation stems from his desire to have a sibling to play with and is a possible expression of his desire to be an attractive woman (if the theory that he's a genuine tranny is true). While a normal man might see some incest overtones, Chris hasn't expressed interest in his "sister", no matter how much effort he puts into rendering her boobs.

Crystal Weston Chandler also happens to be the name of Chris's prophesied future daughter and the ultimate goal of his Love Quest. According to dreams Chris had, only when he finds a boy-friend free girl and produces Crystal will his life finally be at peace.

Maybe. Chris has used his prophecy as a justification for his Love Quest, he's been rather wishy-washy on the whole "having kids" thing.

Chris's notion of a "Sweetheart from the Ground Up" is a troubling one.

See, it isn't enough for Chris to have a girlfriend. He demands a "sweetheart", a woman to take care of all of his problems, including financial ones, so that he can spend his time playing vidya. To accomplish this, he must rebuild them "from the Ground Up", re-educating them to be his perfect "sweetheart".

That cuccoo clock is so wrong it physically hurts.

Chris doesn't recognize that security personal, police officers, college deans, video game store owners, etc. as human. In his eyes, they're evil creatures who deliberately thwart his Love Quest because they enjoy tormenting a "lonely virgin". While Chris claims he's no longer a virgin, his opinion of authority figures remains the same. His view probably stems from his autism and his massive ego.

Snorlax.

I'm going to ignore the incest subtext to talk about psychic powers and magic.

Chris believes he has magical and psychic powers. He claims he can force others to do his bidding, can speak to the dead, and has the power to curse and heal. So genuine is his belief in his gifts that he has performed rituals to invoke these powers in public, most notably casting the "curse-ye-ha-me-ha" upon Mary Lee Walsh while in her presence. He was 22 at the time.

ScotPalazzo is based on the manager of the Charlottesville Fashion Square and El Palazoo, a character from the anime Excel Saga. I happen to own the complete Excel Saga on DVD, purchased during the great anime boom of the 2000's. This shared reference pool between Chris and myself makes me shudder at times.

Sub-Episode 7 is all about Chris getting banned from Target. In the comic, he's banned because the managers are jerks. In real life, he was banned for loitering, disturbing customers, and abusing the free refills of soda.

OVERSIZED DRINKING STRAW OF FAIL.

I'm somewhat amused at Chris's attempts to be "publicly visible" during his Love Quest. I think Chris believes that to get a girlfriend, and eventually a sweet-heart, he just has to show up and let the girls know he's available.

All 250 - 300 lbs of rotten watermelon stank is ready to rock your world with his bent dick, ladies.

Now we've got Transformers in this thing.

I enjoy the real story behind this. The Target management asked Chris to leave. Chris ignored them and they kept pressing. Finally Chris snapped at them, called them "Jerkops" and got the police called on him. Chris tried to run, resulting in his tackling and "hog tieing".

Chris was subsequently charged with disorderly conduct and trespassing. The prosecutors decided to drop the case.

The perspective on page 85 makes me sick to my stomach.

Oh man Sailor Moon shit.

I stopped using Lynx after Chris shilled it.

Issue #4 closes with an illustration of Son-Chu, Chris's 1994 Ford Escort station wagon that he had until 2013. It was his go to escape vehicle/ attempted murder weapon for most of his life.

I have to share the opinion of others that giving Chris a driver's license and allowing him to operate a motor vehicle is the greatest lapse in judgment of any governmental department in our country.

Would you qualify Sonichu as a productive use of Chris's time?
At least when he's making this shit he isn't buying bullshit or committing crimes.
I call Deus Ex Machina.
kek

They're really confusing.
Like the fact that Sonichu And Roseychu are siblings and an official couple, or the fact that Chris and Crystal both have those respective characters as medallions?

I swear to god this is amazing.
This is getting downright Orwellian.

I can't believe it, this guy claims and complaints make SJW's look sane… and right WTF?
I don't see no one else there.
Yes, yes you are.

Well, thanks Chris-chan you might have cured me of my incest fetish.
Those powers are so much cooler than the Hedgehog ones, why not to use those better?

I get you, I felt the same with the Power Rangers one.
Wait, so he got banned from the watering hole, but isn't he the mayor, I mean I don't get how can he keep his delusions to work.

Best animu catchphrase since Gurren Laggan.
About that, do you believe Chris has watched any new anime content or just keeps playing the same VHS tapes over and over again, because by this point I would have find something else to obsess over.

You know, with a little more self awareness this would be pretty awesome.
That's probably the difference between Chris and Littlekuriboh
>All I wanted for over [Time period] was a boyfriend-free girl to make into a girlfriend from the ground-up.
This really is some newspeak deal here.

Worst one yet Holla Forums?

No he does that half the other time

This isn't filler. This is the MEAT. The succulent bounty that is Sonichu. It's Chris's retelling of his life in the form of a furry comic that makes Sonichu a legend.

And it only gets worse from here.

Classic.

I have to say, it's really weird seeing someone new to Chris-chan struggle to understand him.

every fucking time

You know, compared to crap like Steven Universe, It Hurts! and Questionable Content, Sonichu actually starts to look good.
At least, you know, stuff happens.
Which puts it ahead of inaction comics like Hellcat.
And Chris-Chan's less creepy than Jonesy.

Oh you sweet ignorant child.

Issue #5 opens with a wedding … but not Chris's. Instead it's Sarah Hammer from the earlier issues. Chris has an invisible thing going on, probably because Chris changed his mind last minute and didn't want to waste copy paper.

Wes-Li Sonichu is back and bent on revenge. Remember when this book was about Sonichu?

Chris reveals that he has a new sweetheart. Who could this mystery woman be?

Hint: It involves Yugi-Oh … oh fuck it, It's Megan Schroeder, a girl he met at the GAMe pLACE. It's Chris's relationship with her, the closest that he has ever had in his life, that marks the beginning of Chris's first Love Saga and the start of Chris's internet fame.

Christory begins with a fat, autistic man-child and the girl he creepily made advances on.

Things happen and Chris gets to be the hero.

Chris had been out of High School for years at this point, and he still held a grudge against Wesley Iseli for having a relationship with one of his "gal-pals". Chris genuinely hates all other males other than himself.

Megan Schroder shows up proper. I feel bad for Megan, that poor asexual nerd. She became the object of affection for a wad of human bacon grease who later admitted he wanted to rape her.

I never want to read "Maternal Creator" ever again.

VIRGINIA IS FOR VIRGINS

CWC-Ville is under attack by those who hate love! Jerkops, Manajerks, Mary Lee Walsh, they're all out to stop true love! Everyone is against Chris and his Love Quest!

As Chris moons over Megan, I want to draw attention to the mention of Monica Rial playing on the CWCville radio. Chris has actually met prolific anime voice actress Monica Rial, before he was internet famous. He met her at the 2004 Anime Mid-Atlantic Con in Richmond. There is photographic proof of their encounter.

Chris would visit Anime Mid-Atlantic the next year, where he reportedly ruined a Sonic the Hedgehog panel with his massive, buffoonish autism.

Chris once again refers to himself as "Cherokee", and shows respect to the police. However these are CWCville cops, not Jerkops. I assume to Chris most officers of the law in the real world are Jerkops, seeing as he's had numerous run ins with them.

You think that if Chris would've gotten a girlfriend things would be different?
Wait, wasn't Walter Grisby good now?
And why the fuck is he transforming in Chris-Chan if CWC has far better magical powers?

Wait what? How does the special effect of Wes-Li's card helps Chris-Chan if he's in the other side of the field?
Wow, he doesn't even know the rules.

So let me get this CWC not only made completely unbalanced cards that made him immortal but also he honestly forgot that he has to place them in the field or, you know to be playing with someone else.
And now he's CWC, Chris-Chan and his own monster in the field.
This is deep.

How's Meg two characters at once too?

Is love a spell you can place in the field?
Maternal Creator
But he never said that Dark Magician Girl was in his hand, wait but if you had that Dark Core card all along too then why didn't you used it before, not to mention, isn't Wes-Li the player or is him just another monster?

The fuck is "Asymetrical Feelings"?

Please don't remind me about the hedgehog incestual relationship.

Jump to 1:21

The proof.

Yeah I'm watching the wiki right now but is like Chris himself is stopping me, my whole PC gets slow when I open it.

The Chaotic Combo is on his side! The day is already won!

CADD Chef is clearly a reference to South Park's Chef, but he's also based on Chris's CADD professor in PVCC, who also happened to be black. Chris apparently got into a row with him on his birthday because he's an egotistical jackass.

Sonichu is never about the action. Chris tries, but that ain't the draw. It's all about the story.

The insane story.

Am I going insane with Deja Vu's or Sweevel already siad that joke on the last page?
Also, since the wiki os slow as shit… Did he actually got a CADD degree?

Oh no! Chris is getting pulled into a black void and … Not-Chris … from the first few issues is transforming into the ULTIMATE DARK BEING!

Oh noooo.

Just call the character Mary Lee Walsh. She's supposed to be Mary Lee Walsh, and before he changed the names based on the advice of a troll pretending to be Shigiru Miyamoto, she was named Mary Lee Walsh.

As for the degree, yes, he got his degree. An associates degree. It took him five years.

I have so many questions.
Why is this guy so fascinating?
Probably because ironically he's like a living real cartoon character.
If he's so egotistical and delusional why doesn't he just gives himself an imaginary girlfriend?
Is it because he blames everyone else of his misfortunes?

The lore is too deep, every single page in the wiki contains a link to something new, someone new.

You can't fuck an imaginary woman

Issue #5 ends with Crystal trapped in another dimension and more of Megan's ass showing than she would like. We also get some of Megan's traced art of Sailor Moon, which, despite it's ripped-off nature, is still leagues better than anything Chris could hope to accomplish.

Because imaginary women ain't got no China for him to stick his duck in. Also, imaginary women aren't going to solve all of his real world problems, which is what he believes having a girlfriend would accomplish.

One more thing, an imaginary women wouldn't fulfill the Love Quest prophecy of a daughter and an office job.

Because Chris like an onion. He has many layers, and each layer is more bizarre than the last.

Are they still doing the live readings?

A cliffhanger where something bad actually happened.
Huh, this gets actually better.
Well, according to my investigations this is we're the whole Ryan Cash, Ivy and… fanta shit happened right?
Are you posting the specials?
I swear I could make a series about this guy's life.

It's been done.

I meant a drama

...

Magi-Chan is unironically the best electric hedgehog.

I'm cured, if you really wanna stop being so obssesed trying to comprehend what he writes and only enjoy his insanity all you need is to read this.
sonichu.com/cwcki/A-Logging

Is that hedgehog that reads minds to find out if somebody's gay or not?

yes

Animated or live action?

Lived action really, I want to find an actor who looks like CWC and watch him act like him.

Reminder that Chris was 18 when he started his passion for Pokemon…..

You couldn't get a budget for it because the rights issues would be completely intractable. Maybe when Chris dies it might be possible to make a dramatized documentary, but who knows how long that will take?

Who knows what else will happen in the meantime?

It's been almost 10 years since I found out about Chris. 10 whole fucking years.

He went out of his way to add an autistic pantsu shot?

IT'S CWC-MAS DAY!
CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY!
Fuck the Mexicans and their flag day.

Issue #6 is about Chris's dead dog.

Here we get a shot of Chris's lair. Note the massive amount of shit he owns, a collection that has only grown larger through the years, despite a house fire.

I'm left wondering who took the photos for this issue and if they knew what they were going to be used for.

>Patti Chandler
>March 17, 1988 to June 27, 2006

>Eulogy written by Christian Weston Chandler, June 27, 2006

>My family, furry friends, (anyone else present), we are gathered here today to pay our last respects and wishes to our dearly beloved beagle/spitz, Patti, who has departed from our world here on earth to a doggy heaven where she will be happier, because she will run free and play with all the other dogs who are already having fun up there. And she will often look down upon her beloved family, me, Christian Chandler, my mother, Barbara Chandler, and my father Robert Chandler, and the cats who have grown fond of Patti.

>I will always remember Patti for all the lovely memories she has shared with me from:
>-When I picked her out of the litter at my Aunt Corina's house in Redoak, Virginia.
>-The many walks I have shared with her around this neighborhood, as well as the neighborhood in the Newberry Towne subdivision in Richmond, Virginia.
>-The time I watched my old best friend, Sarah Hammer, take Patti by her front paws and danced a bit.
>-The times I've watched her stand on her hind legs and then rewarded her with a biscuit bone.
>-The time I took my camera to her pen and took this lovely picture of her and me, and I made a big deal how she'll be like a movie dog star.
>-The times I've just sat with her in the yard and petted her head. I've always given her a "Bally-Scratch" where I stroke her head with all five fingers like as if I was gently squeezing a rubber ball.
>-The many times I've fed her a can of food and a cup full of dry food, and refilled her bucket with fresh water so she can drink it and wash her face.
>-There was also the one time I saw her resting on top of her doghouse (not on her back like Snoopy).
>-I've often wondered why between both her ears, why one was bent and the other was straight like an arrowhead.

>When Patti was brought to the vet on that faithful day, I was distraught with fright and concern for her health. I stayed with her during her final moments with a hand on her head and a tear in my eye. When my mother was brought the paper that gave the doctor permission to send her on her way, I didn't want her to be the one to sign it. I raised Patti since she was a six-week old pup, and I wanted to take the strain for signing the one-way ticket (it was hard for me, but it was for the best). So I signed that paper, with a crying Sonichu face saying, "We love you, Patti." After that, I gave her my final pets, hug, hand-to-paw hold, eye-contact, ear-rub, cheek-to-fur rub, and I sadly waved her for the final time, and I said, "Good Bye, Patti, I Love You." As I stood outside, I heard Patti's last barks saying, "I will always love you, Chris. Thank You."

>But we all must move on with our lives with our beloved lucky mutt in our hearts and in our memories. So, Patti, may your old dog house and surrounding flowers forever memorialize your blessed heart, your barks at the stars and strangers, and your loyal love that you have blessed upon me and my family and friends. Bark on, and rest in peace, our beloved lucky Patti.

Chris would later invoke the spirit of his beloved dog to devour the souls of his enemies.

There's a word for that kind of photo-comic. I had to look it up, "fumetti". Although that more often describes a comic made from screenshots, like the old Star Trek photonovels.

Christian and the Hedgehog Boys is still on youtube. You know, if you feel like torturing yourself. Just throwing that out there.

Patti and her disturbingly small head are already at home in CWCville, where she will live on despite the failure of her physical body. Patti is thus never really died. She will never be apart from Chris. Much like the deals made with Yog-Sothoth, all those who are with Chris will be bound to him forever.

To think this all started back in 2007.

Didn't know about this issue

It was like a Golden age of Trolls

Sonichu has the gift of prophecy, like his father.

As that skunk reveals the levels of projection Chris places upon other males, the Sonichus need to get Crystal Sonichu Balls to to pull Crystal out of the dark world, or the Seven Chaos Emeralds. They're interchangeable really.

Suddenly, Magi-Chu senses something and declares
MY
TWO
BALLS!

Chris, who's powers of prediction far exceed those of Magi-Chan, detects a burglary in the mall! A mysterious new evil Sonichu is on the loose!

Who could he be?!

Didn't some guy try to remake Sonichu with proper artwork? What happened to that?

...

IT'S NAITSIRHC FROM THE FIRST FEW ISSUES! HE'S NOW SUPER EVIL AND SUPER GAY!

I'm not making that last part up. Naitsirhc is now gay. He prefers men. Chris, despite his current "tomgirl" phase, is completely and utterly terrified of being seen as gay. Thus, his evil twin is gay and a threat to his straightness.

So begins Chris's epic battle against his latent desire for cock.

That shit is surprisingly dramatic.

Hey, look it's Sonic the Hedgehog except Orange BIONIC THE HEDGEHOG. ORIGINAL CHARACTER. DO NOT STEAL.

As Chris goes on some tangent about his DVD full of copyright infringing material, Issue #6 closes with Naitsirhc awakening in the hospital, swearing revenge upon his straight and not at all homo twin. Will Chris ever overcome his subconscious need for men's penises?

The last page is the original art of "Bionic the Hedgehog" stating a blatant lie.

Yes, but I don't think they made it past #0.

That's a shame. Looks like a good effort, though. Is there a way to read it without interrupting OPs dump?

It's in the "Unused" Fanart section of the CWCki. You'll have to dig a bit.

sonichu.com/w/index.php?title=Category:Unused_fan_art&filefrom=F1p09.jpg#mw-category-media

You know, despite the (rightful) accusations that Chris-chan is an all-powerful Mary Sue, he's depicted losing fights surprisingly often.

Issue #7 opens with Bionic and the skunk going to probably fuck and Chris feeling bad because he's a lonely virgin.

I know Megan's reaction on page 3 might indicate that Chris understands that Megan really doesn't want to be his "sweetheart", but rest assured, it does not. Chris, thanks to his autism, has no understanding of the feelings of others. So he interprets Megan's unease as an anime cliche rather than dislike.

Chris needs to go back in time for the next ball. Back far enough that he can wallow in his nostalgia for the time people were forced to tolerate him.

The comic is interrupted for a Family Guy gag starring a Chris that looks far more like Chris does in real life.

What Chris is referencing is the Funimation Ghostbusters cartoon, which was produced to capitalize on the movie Ghostbusters. The Ghostbusters cartoon is an incredibly niche cartoon, and even in it's day was completely overshadowed by The REAL Ghostbusters cartoon, which was based on the movie. Chris is making a joke that very few people would get.

He's engaging in the time honored tradition of autistis everywhere: talking about shit that doesn't fucking matter like it's shit everyone knows and is the most important shit in the world.

Chris has incredibly poor facial and vocal recognition skills. He often has to memorize his appearance in a mirror. Chris can't identity male or female voices on the phone, and if shown two pictures of different women and is told it's the same woman, he would completely believe it. This is a symptom of his autism, and why in page 14 he makes very clear that "sammy" is not Chris. What is obvious to us is vague to Chris.

As Magi-chu and Chris travel back in time, we're shown an ad for Sonichu on the Wii and the PS3. Chris had a PS3, but he destroyed it. He tried to cash in on a $9001 bounty trolls put out for his PS3. He threw away $5000 because somebody made a joke.

My bad, the game isn't Sonichu, but Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles.

At the time, Christian Weston Chandler's Adult Chronicles was but a pipe-dream, but now, someone is actually trying to make it a reality.

I hope he finishes it someday.

Chris travel's back to the ancient time of 1996, where he was a High School Basketball Manager water boy and "Naive about Dating" he still is. While 1996 Chris says "Joe", his fellow waterboy, is cool, he sounds like he's a pathetic sack of shit like Chris. It's almost like Chris intentionally made him a disfigured loser to make himself look good.

Chris also replaced the characters in R.L. Stine novels with Sonic the Hedgehog characters. If that ain't the most autistic shit you've ever heard you can just get the fuck out.

The Sonichu's grab the ball as Bionic comes into existence.

Chris is then launched into eternity.

With the loss of his father, Sonichu is finally free to be his own man. Free to fuck his girlfriend. Free to buy raincoats. Free to shop Wal-Mart.

As Sonichu and Rosechu make love, the Private Villa of Corrupt Citizens meets to plan their take over of CWCville. Now that Chris is gone, they finally have the opportunity to free CWCville of it's merciless dictator once and for all!

As Chris is traveling the TIME VOID, he's bombarded by visions of the things to be. Chris is getting us all up to speed about what's going on in his life without actually depicting it. Things like drawing porn of his friend Megan, or his discovery by trolls.

But fuck that shit, we need to find out more about KCWC, the CWCville radio station. They play everything from music to the inhuman noises produced by inbred Appalachian jug blowers.

We are also introduced to Blanca, the first of many trolls posing as Chris's new sweetheart.

Issue #7 closes with an interview with Robert Simmons V. His position in the CWC trolldom is vague, as he's described as a troll and an anti-troll.

He just disappears after 2009.

Wait a minute did he ever explain who the fuck was Jack's Knight supposed to be?

Chris himself doesn't even seem worried, he's acting like it was a minor complication

Issue #8 is where everything turns for the worse. It has pages upon pages of hardcore Sonichu fucking.

What do you mean you didn't want to know the intimate sexual biology of Sonichus? Well too bad, you're going to learn all about it.

I don't think Sonichu and Rosechu fucking was for titillation purposes. I think Chris was so obsessed with proving that his characters were straight that he was willing to include pages upon pages of pussy crushing just to prove it.

Anyway, after the horror show of Sonichu sex, Rosechu finds images of her online. Chris believes that any drawing of his characters, no matter how infinitely more skilled it is compared to his own crude scrawls, would confuse his audience into thinking it's canon, or "real". This is why he felt the need to address Rosechu's genitals and had Sonichu look for hidden cameras in their bedroom. In his Chris's child-like brain, all of this shit is real.

2 fucking Gigs of gross Rosechu pussy pictures.

So Sonichu and the other Sonichus meet in front of the 4-CENT GARBAGE BUILDING which is apparently in Tennessee for some reason.

That Gilligan's Island reference makes me want to die.

Genesis 50:15-21

Yeah, Chris is totally going to forget that.

Welp Happy Christian Love Day.

As Sonichu and Rosechu travel up the 4cent Garbage Tower, they witness the terrible crimes against Chris going on every day.

They also see porn. Lots of porn.

The Green Sonichu that isn't the gay Sonichu tries to acquire more balls, as Sonichu and Rosechu meet JASON KENDRICK HOWELL, the creator of the original Chris-Chan page on ED. Chris, of course, placed undue importance on some fag that made an ED page, seeing him as some vile nemesis instead of the stammering cuckchanner he actually is.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Only Chris would have the ego to say that trolling him on the internet undermines the United States of America and all the men and women who died protecting her.

Oh Chris and pickles. From dill to bread-and-butter, Chris hates pickles. Pickles remind him of penises and he goes out of his way to avoid them.

Until a man in a pickle suit shows up and steals his girl, that is.

So much for forgiveness, and so much for no more naked Rosechus.

DragonBall has the Mafuba. Fist of the North Star has the Muso Tensei.

Sonichu has Rosechu sit on a man's face.

He's saying what we're all thinking.

Wild Sonichu got his balls and everybody leaves the 4cent Garbage building with, arguably, nothing resolved.

Afterwords, at Sonichu's shack, all the Rosechu's meet up for a porn photo-shoot. For feminism and "votes for women".

Ah the first appearance of Simonla Rosechu, the first instance of Chris stealing from a fan. Originally, Simonla was Simonchu, created by a fan named Evan. Chris took the character, turned it to shit, gave it breasts and presented it as his own character. Evan didn't appreciate this and soon Chris and Evan's war will spill into the comic itself.

Boy I love knock-off jokes, don't you?

WOOOO SPRING BREAK! WOOOO SPRING BREAK! GET THOSE FLAP-JACK TITTIES OUT IT'S SPRING BREAK! WOOOO!

Oh wait, no, reverse those "wooo"s. CWCville banned all alcohol. CWCville is hell.

I wonder where he copied that "newsreader was secretly at the beach all along" bit from.

There's a song there.

Also, I don't know if a living creature could be 90% water. Humans are 83% water, but 90%? Is she a walking water balloon?

Chris, for once, doesn't trace and just puts another persons art in there. Oh PandaHalo, if only you didn't die in that Australian bush fire.

We're introduced to a new evil Sonichu, Silvana Rosechu! A villainous shape-shiftier with a penis.

Silvana was raised on THE MOTHER FUCKING MOON by the evil Count Graduon. Count Graduon also gave her a cock and balls, which is what I think gives her transformation powers.

Fucking hold up, who's that at the bottom of page 82.
OH SHIT NIGGER
FUCKING YAWNING SQUIRTLE

Chris needs to show us that Blachu is straight by having him fuck a tranny.

More. Forced. Romance. Yay.

...

Chris spends two pages sharing a Hatsune Miku he got duped into believing was written by Blanca, who was a troll.

youtube.com/watch?v=SmX5cnQ1YAg

Issue #8 closes with Chris torn apart by his love situation. Thankfully, things have been made easier with one of them dying and another being in league with the trolls. This leaves Chris free to pursue PandaHalo, another troll.

Chris, despite wanting a sweetheart, has no problem casting them aside if something better should come along.

Issue #9 opens with Chris's idea of "Dating Education". If he can't get a boyfriend free girl, then he'll change the entire system.

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Take the quiz to see how date ready you are, Holla Forums.

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Chris is finally out of the Time Void and ready to kick ass.

Issue #9 ends with the answers to the dating quiz. Check your score against Chris's!

So when was SheCameForCWC.jpg? Did I miss it?

Before Issue #10, let's get some specials out of the way.

First is a little, incoherent story about his true love, as ordained by GodJesus, Ivy falling into the hands of Clyde Cash.

comedy gold, how does Chris come up with these?

GOD GUIDE US ALL TO SAFETY!

yes

wat

Keep your shirt on Chris!

slaweel ryam pays me not enough

Sonichu Special #2 is all about Chris and Ivy's wedding. It's filled with more weridos than a freak show.

And Coach McGuirk.

Why are bugs the ring bearers?

Boy….that's some ride there.

Of course, now that they're married, they're going to fuck. Chris gets a big hand-shake from Ivy's dad and goes to you're local shit-shack to lay some pipe into his little girl.

And check out Chris's BENT DICK. HE TRACED HIS OWN DICK FOR THIS.

Ever fuck a chick so hard she turned into a goddamn furry?

The Final Sonichu Special, Special #4. The one where Chris straight up shoots Liquid Chris for impersonating him.

Issue #10 opens with the return of Chris-Chan from the void. He's an autist with a plan. A plan of terrible revenge.

For starters, he's going to cure homosexuality with his pure straight blood.

As Magi-Chan goes to spread Chris's blood through the water-supply, Chris heads to a skeezy warehouse to get his shit.

Remember Tripod?

The trolls stole Chris's medallion, so he revealed that it was his class ring. Of course, in real life the trolls destroyed the medallion.

The Jimmy Hill shit is hilarious. Some trolls sent Chris some images of DVD's with Sonichu covers and Chris believed that Jimmy was selling bootleg Sonichu merchandise.

Chris gets attacked by his evil gay twin and they fight I guess.

I'm sure getting injected with Chris'Chan's blood would result in a number of diseases.

Chris-Chan and his Sonichus meet outside of the 4-Cent Garbage Building. Chris gets serious and becomes REAL. Or more REAL than he previously was.

youtube.com/watch?v=ib4c4G9__Jk

Chris and his Sonichu band rock out as the occupants of the 4-cent garbage building panic.

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I enjoy that Chris hated Asperchu so much he made him a buff dude with his magic powers.

Holy shit Chris, leave some room for the pictures.

When Chris gets back from fucking everything up, he's going to make Obama take ED off the internet once and for all.

Obama couldn't close Gitmo, how can he shut down ED?

Soup Hotels heheheheh

Holy fuck, Chris just straight up crushes Count Graduon to death and beats Mary Lee Walsh into paralysis.

With his enemies defeated, Chris addresses his subjects citizens to explain to them the situation. Note how he's flanked by Stormtroopers.

Evan, the creator of Simonchu whom Simonla was based on, demanded that the character die, seeing as he stole it from him. With his web-site held hostage, Chris really had no choice but to agree.

But Chris will have his vengeance on Evan for murdering Simonla. Swift and terrible vengeance.

every fucking time

So a show trail begins of the Asperpedia Four: Alec Benson Leary, creator of Asperchu, a strip parody Chris-Chan. Evan George, creator of Simonchu who fought against Chris to protect his character. Mao, web-master of Asperpedia, a parody of Chris's own CWCipedia. Finally, Sean August Watley, acting as the defense, and creator of the Sonichu parody strip Moon Pals.

I want to draw attention to two things. First, Alec, Evan, Mao, and Sean are real people, so consider for a moment what it means for them to be on trail in Sonichu when Chris doesn't distinguish between reality and fantasy. Second, the people Chris chooses to inflict his anger on aren't trolls, but people he feels violated his creation by parodying it. Not the troll who made him shove his medallion up his ass. Not his arch-nemesis, The Black Man in the Pickle Suit. Just three guys who made comic strips and a website guy.

For that, they will receive the worst of punishments.

Magi-chan and Wild between them put a newborn through a gruelling week of training to prepare her for a revenge killing. I can see why Wild is so pissed but what's in it for Magi-chan, shits and giggles?

youtube.com/watch?v=BX-7BlRc_a0

The state finds the Asperedia Four GUILTY and the sentence: DEATH.

For Alec Benson Leary, a ten button electric chair! BLOOD AND GORE!

For Evan George, getting his dick drilled off by the child of character he demanded dead! LITTLE GIRLS LOVE REVENGE TROPHIES!

For Sean August Watley, being hung from the ceiling and shot so many times he's reduced to fucking hamburger! TARGET PRACTICE!

And for Mao. Mao gets to be torn limb from limb by Chris's psychic powers! HIS AMENDS HAVE BEEN MADE!

It's pages like these that make me glad Chris is to lazy, fat, and stupid to be a serial killer.

Now that Chris has bathed in the blood of his enemies, Chris declares that today, February 24, shall no longer be Mexican flag day, but

CHRISTIAN LOVE DAY

A day when Chris murdered a bunch of innocent people in his head. Remember to always respect the original creators, and get off their back about shit like "schedules". Don't and you'll get your cock drilled off. Your choice.

Happy Christian Love Day, Holla Forums.

HAHAHAHA HE KISSED A FUCKING TRANNY

what about the christmas episode

There are so many sensible places for this to just stop. But it doesn't stop! It just keeps getting more and more surreal.

You'd have to be high on something to put up with Chris for long, but I didn't know blood sugar was so potent.

Looks like Chris has a new heartsweet. Alexa met Chris at a game store, is 26, is going to college for multiple degrees, obsessed with pokemon, believes the Earth is flat, believes in young Earth creationism, and is a huge Hillary supporter.

Will she be the new Megan or will we finally see Crystal be born?

Nothing wrong with these as long as you aren't retardedly trying to explain it using science. I mean, I personally don't care, but I'm pretty sure the Bible says the Earth is round and am between Haruhi-tier theory about Creationism, and the idea that humans have been creating high civilization since the end of the last great ice age and would have been "6,000 years ago" from someone who lived in ~4,000 BC.

*I mean, I personally don't care if someone believes the Earth is flat as long as they aren't obsessive about it/aren't trying to prove to you using "science"/just follow Church doctrine
**and I am

Apparently according to Marvin she's one of Chris' friends he hangs out with almost daily.

Oooh boy.
Can't wait to see where this goes.

Friend or Heartsweet her life is fucked now. The weens aren't gonna pass a chance to fuck over a possible girlfriend of Chris.

When you willingly associate with Chris-chan, you don't internet trolls to fuck your life up.

..I'm not the only one right? Maybe see more Sonichu born from this by the way, there are a few more pages would anyone be willing to dump them?

Just make a new thread.

w

Looks like Chris's lovequest has finally come to an end.