Choose your own adventure story

you're at a GNU/Windows conference
walk into elevator
fagioli waddles in
it's really him
he's eating a footlong chicken sub from subway with one hand
he immediately presses the door close button and then the top floor button with the other
"This should get us there alright"
he farts loudly and very wetly as you're starting to go up
starts giggling to himself awkwardly
quickly finishes the rest of his sandwich
pulls out his phone with his ranch covered hands
starts taking selfies
you can see everything he's doing on his phone
he starts posting about what just happened on twitter
46 more floors to go
what would you do?

Other urls found in this thread:

betanews.com/2017/09/13/gnome-3-26-manchester-linux/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Accuse him of rape.

Brian is impacting the mental sanity of people here, it seems.
Even still, fuck off faggot OP.

Tell him that he's been eating artificial soy chicken.

breathe in deeply
feel blessed by the aroma

I guess I'd go on Holla Forums to tell the story about how I was farted on in the elevator...
By Brian Fagioli

is fagioli the new stallman of Holla Forums?

No.

Look for the not secret agent trying to frame me for a crime. Then proceed to take the electrical wires in the frame of the elavators buttons and short circuit fagolis phone via a em field on the spot. Or just ask him to delete the pictures.

I'm intrigued, go on.
He seems either the i'm trying to lose weight turkey sub, or fuck it i give up classic with extra sauce sub type of guy. All or nothing either or with nothing in between, like a chicken sub.
At least that part is semi believable. It's probably bullshit but it's believable enough.
I'd ask his thoughts on making Linux work on an ARM based laptop or desktop, why don't more OEM or hardware manufacturers making chromebook clones that is easier for most end users to upgrade or replace the battery, RAM, and SSD. If the RAM is soldered in, at least fucking make the battery and SSD accessible since those 2 parts should always be made serviceable. I'd squeeze in some questions on open source hardware, possible or just a pipe dream right now. What are his thoughts on flexible displays, plastic printable CPUs, what is the next material post silicon.

When we reach the 46th floor and right before the door opens, I will give him a purple nurple and say to him before I leave nobody will believe you

...

...

get off immediately

commit finnish suicide ritual

I didn't think keeping a lookout for not secret agents would make them so assmad. I won't look so hard in the future.

tweet @ him and tell him I'll kill him before the diabetes does if he farts in the elevator again

fuck ..... wait, what.

Do not want to shit up the catalog so here. BTW, can we have a /bfd/ - Brian Fagioli Discussions thread in Holla Forums?

By Brian Fagioli

When people think of Linux-based operating systems, they often imagine people typing in a terminal or coding in a basement while drinking Mountain Dew -- yeah, those stupid old stereotypes still exist, sadly. While that is surely part of the user base, other users choose an open source operating system for nothing more than using their computer as a tool. In other words, some folks use Ubuntu, Fedora, or other distros just to get normal stuff done -- word processing, web surfing, and more. No terminal. No coding. No religious-like experiences.

For these Linux users, and others, the desktop environment sort of is the operating system. It is how they interact with their computer and launch their apps -- what's under the hood doesn't necessarily matter. For many, GNOME 3 is their preferred environment, and for good reason -- it is beautiful, intuitive, and getting better all the time. Today, GNOME 3.26 codenamed 'Manchester' sees release. It is chock full of improvements, such as a much-needed refreshed settings menu, enhanced search, and color emoji! Yes, Linux users like using the silly symbols too!

"System search has been improved for GNOME 3.26. Results have an updated layout which makes them easier to read and shows more items at once. Additionally, it's now possible to search for system actions, including power off, suspend, lock screen, log out, switch user and orientation lock. (Log out and switch user only appear if there’s more than one user. Orientation lock is only available if the device supports automatic screen rotation.) These search features can be accessed in the usual way: click Activities and type into the search box, or simply press 'super' and start typing," says the GNOME Project.

ALSO READ: GNOME desktop environment for Linux and BSD is 20 years old today

The project further says, "GNOME 3.26 introduces a new layout to the Settings application. The previous grid of icons is gone and, in its place, a sidebar allows switching between different areas. The new sidebar makes it much easier and quicker to navigate the settings application and places the most commonly used settings within easy reach. It also means that the Settings window is now bigger and can be resized, which is more comfortable in a lot of situations. GNOME's network settings have been improved as part of this work: Wi-Fi now has its own dedicated settings area and network settings dialogs have been reworked, so that they are neater, clearer and easier to use."

color_emoji_gnome

GNOME 3.26 has many other changes (24,105 actually!), with just some listed below. You can read the full release notes here.

Windows now smoothly transition when they are maximized, unmaximized or snapped to one half of the screen. As well as looking good, this makes it easier to track what’s happening on screen.
The size of window thumbnails has been increased in the Activities Overview, making it easier to pick the window you want.
The top bar now becomes transparent when there aren’t any maximized windows. This is more attractive and gives a better sense of space.
The dialogs which inform you when an application isn’t responding have a new style, making them look more integrated and refined.Boxes, the GNOME application for virtual and remote machines, now allows folders to be shared between a virtual machine and your computer. To use this feature, just select which folders you want to share from the box settings, and they will appear as network locations in the guest.
In Software, updates are now grouped by type and provide more accurate progress information when being installed.
Simple Scan, the GNOME application for scanning images and documents, has had some interface improvements for 3.26. A new start screen provides some useful guidance, editing tools are easier to identify and preferences can be accessed from the header bar.
Logs now groups similar messages together, which makes the history much shorter, making it easier to find what you’re looking for.
Polari — the IRC application — has a new initial setup assistant, which makes it easy to get connected and start chatting.
When you resize a file system in Disks it’s now possible to also resize its partition, which often saves an extra task.
Maps has a collection of small improvements: there are new keyboard shortcuts, more information is shown about places and the last transportation method is remembered when plotting routes.
GNOME’s calendaring, contacts, to do and mail applications now perform better offline — many items can now be edited when you don’t have an internet connection, and any changes will be uploaded the next time you are online.
Photos has new controls for zooming.
It’s now possible to add and edit reoccurring events in Calendar.
Terminal now highlights and makes it easy to open hyperlinks.
In Evolution, the new To Do bar allows you to view a list of upcoming events and tasks. Also, it’s now possible to use Evolution without having a mail account.
Tweak Tool has been renamed to Tweaks and has gained three new settings: a switch to move window buttons to the left or right, a Disable While Typing option for touchpads and an option to show the battery percentage in the top bar. There has also been a good amount of clean up and refinement.

cake_ubuntu_GNOME

The easiest way to try GNOME 3.26 is to wait for the desktop environment to become available for your favorite Linux distribution. Ubuntu users, for instance, won't have to wait long; GNOME 3.26 will be the default DE for version 17.10 which is due next month. Users of other Linux-based operating systems might have a longer wait, unfortunately.

Are you excited for GNOME 3.26? Tell me why in the comments below.

betanews.com/2017/09/13/gnome-3-26-manchester-linux/

Since the story is from OPs point of view

fuck off

sage negated, QUEER.

NO, FAGOLI FAGOLI GET OFF THE RAVIOLI

le page seven save rave

I think he's needed a hell of a lot more than ravioli to look like that, man...

Those NYC streetcart chili-cheese dogs really pack in the protein. HUGE LOGS

Just press the button for the next floor up, and hold my breath until we get there. Wait until elevator comes back down or just take the stairs, since I'm not a fat faggot, and all.

...

Nope, just ugly as fuck.

even fagioli has a gf

Dude, fuck you. I'm desperate for human contact.

They're wearing wedding rings.

I think it's cute. I bet they share insulin and other diabetes supplies.

The mods deleted the thread I made about that because they don't want to face the horrible truth that Brian Fagioli won't die alone and the mods and the rest of us will.

Fagioli's got game, baby. He apperantly convinced some landwhale to change her name to Fagioli as well.

The man works for Beta News, but he's straight Alpha.

...

You probably owe me a keyboard now.

That is one fat motherfucker.

It really exists. Gentoo Prefix on Windows, natively not an emulation layer like Cygwin64!

Better single and bitter than attached to a hamplanet like that!

Damn straight shes absorbing the whole damn table jesus christ

Shut up nigger, can't you see we're gormlessly bitching about Faggotloli's hamplanet here?

I am gnu/linux I don't need to go to confreces.

Do you think he goes by "fag" for short?

Probably not.

Fagioli, Fagioli, stick your chode in Ravioli!