How Do You Cope With Razor Poops?

My shit is hard as diamonds and it's tearing my asshole to smithereens. I've been sitting on the toilet for half an hour trying to crank out the same tiny clump of stool, but it's too painful and it won't budge no matter how hard I clench. I've tied coffee and shit softening tablets, but it doesn't seem to be having any effect on the poo already in the pipe.

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra#Side_effects

Drink more water and get some metamucil.

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Water or oil in your ass?

dynamite?

drink some 35% h2o2, your acid will dissolve razor blades better/faster

Tfw fingers up your ass trying to mash and remove shit manually.

or ask a jew to help with a tongue/dick get it out

Turkey baster filled with olive oil up the butt.

hot

dont push too hard or your anus will prolapse

hept-hydrated magnesium sulphate, 50g in a glass of warm water

Drink more fluids

Buy a douche and give yourself an enema

eat vaseline

upvote

pics or it didn't happen

Nope, get out you cretin.

whoa! your username is the same as mine! mind blown!

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I have been in your position as well op, the only way to fix it is a change in diet stop eating unhealthy food.

You must be dehydrated, fill up a gallon jug with water drink it all during the course of 1 day every day.

enema is your vocabulary word for today.

OATS

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra#Side_effects
Bon app├ętit!

don't eat glass or ass rape yourself with a razor dildo

Oily stuff like Peanut Butter (I get a brand that's just peanuts) shoots the shit out my ass like a well oiled machine. Maybe it can work for you?

ENEMA MAGIC

Eat dates and sweet potatoes.

Get a salve or ointment to apply to your anus that makes it swell down, curbs infections, improves wound healing and smooths the tissue.

Basically your standard hemorrhoid treatment stuff.