What he said. Liquids have a propensity to leak and create dead pixels. Put a plastic bag over the screen before you do it, at least.
Jose Collins
this. it would reduce the resale value. your family would be pissed. do you have any idea how much it costs to clean up a shotgun suicide? other than that, godspeed and good riddance. please be careful not to hurt ur mom. it'd make a whole lot of niggers angry
Nolan Stewart
Why would I hurt anyone else? I not the type to take my aggressions out on others/society. I personally think they are the worst type of people.
My life is just shite. It's not a forsure yet, I'm getting there tho. I just finally realized that this is all just a charade, and what happens here really has no bearing on anything. I want to move on. I have no friends anymore, I am not near as active as I used to be, I suck at games the one thing that used to bring me joy, am certified firefighter that has 2 DUIs, also CIS bachelors, and can't find job because of criminal history. It's bad.
Now that's the part that hit. It's shitty that your history prevents you from even being able to attempt to get back on your feet. If possible, try going to another country. America is fucked, and affirmative action and other bullshit prevents actual qualified people like you from getting work cuz niggers. Either way, best of luck user.
Tyler Cruz
Thank you, life is pretty tough rn tbh, but I am pushing through the best I can. I have an interview for Cisco in two weeks, but I know what is going to happen. I'll get the "Thanks for applying here, but we don't think you are what we are looking for."
Jayden Nguyen
Even though I can code Python in my fucking sleep…..
That sounds exceedingly uncomfortable, and unnecessary. Also it would be a .45 or 30-06.
Samuel Gonzalez
must be hard. but dont make impulsive decision with ending yourself. as time passes the things will always change even though it certainly doesnt feel like it in a situation like that. also even though anons are usually against anti depressants (and i find it quite odd), you should talk to psychiatrist about your situation and try to find a working medication. it will make daily life SO MUCH easier.
I actually just started seeing one again for the first time in almost a year. It definitely helps, but I also don't really care for anti depressants. Lat time I was on them, I became even more suicidal. There is one I like that they don't actually prescribe tho. It's called tianeptine.
I'm not going to be getting rid of it, unless I truly become an hero; but it has DVI, VGA, and HDMI. It would be a great 2nd or 3rd monitor, and it's also inexpressive.
It's great for my video editing, coding, and photoshop. It's paired with a Quadro 4000. That's really all I use this workstation for tho, besides CS:GO now and then.
one reason is not wasting your life because you are a fat little lazy twat that doesn't know shit about life.try to get special help if you are too retarded for normal life.It's not always rainbow fucking happy land, faggot
Really? It isn't? I mean I didn't know that with my best friend dying at 24, getting addicted to heroin, and dealing with a mental illness or anything…
No matter what happens there is no reason to kill yourself.I had a shit time too and almost was homeless or dealing with a dead parent for example."Just" Move on what is even the point of living if you aren't even trying to fix anything?
Also def not underage. 26 years old. I was banned from halfchan for posting this picture unedited with a guess your age (it said 14) because the mods are faggots.
I've been wanting to work with that. I've been doing my modern work through Source, and have been needing something more up to date. What does it cost? Where to buy?
No shit. I probably won't even release what I make. It will be strictly for my portfolio. How difficult would you say it is to transition from Source to UE4???
Kayden Smith
get the source code from github and build with VS, because note pad ++ is nice but will not have custom support
Angel Evans
so its all the same, unity ue4 cry what lang is source, a custom lang?
Either do it or don't,you creating a thread 2 weeks before the deed suposedly,makes me suspect you don't reeeaaaallly wanna do it,but life and future prospects are so shit atm you feel like it'd be better to just get it over it,but fuck i'm no shrink i could be projecting for all i know. Either way,if you don't end up doing it,and wanna get out of that mindset,personal tips are NO PILLS,none of that BS,if you really have to,no more then low doses for a couple of weeks at best,but it'd be better with none at all,you don't want to become a slave to a box of overpriced candy,now that's a good reason to off yourself indeed. Working out helps a bunch,aswell as doing shit you've put off doing ,be selfish,do shit you want to because you can,mileage may vary. Just keep in mind that nothing is nothing,it's not better or worse,because for it to be,you'd need some sort of state of existance and death is non existance for all intent and purposes. Anyway good luck with your interview OP Also You faggots have more of a reason to an hero then OP.
Thanks user. I appreciate the true thoughtful response. I mean deep down I really don't want to do this, because of my family. I have already put them through enough, but I really don't have much to live for anymore. Like I said my absolute best friend in the world died last January and life has "changed" in a way since he left. I remember spending countless days at his house since I was a kid, gaming, raiding, ddosing, and even going to local pools irl and posting the "Pool's Closed" meme. I'll never meet another soul like his. He was my twin flame, in a totally not gay way. I just always find myself yearning for the past, and not looking towards the future. I feel like if I left there would be a "relief" of all this worldly bullshit…but then again what if it is nothing?
I also played hockey with him since we were 4 (from great lakes region), I was the starting goalie, and he was my backup, so we always shared that special bond as well…Whenever I think about him I really just want to curl into a ball, and just lay there emotionless. I will never see him again…
As far as I know usually a US citizen isn't allowed to move to China under most circumstances. Also, no, just no. I want my suffering to be relieved, not worsened.
Just being sincere,don't get me wrong if you're gonna do it at least livestream it for us b4hand,but like i said you don't seem to be at the deep end yet,you're just staring at it and don't want to end up there so you'd rather make damn sure you don't,i can relate. But user you're waddling through the sludge that is getting a fucking job,and on top you basically just lost a brother you were really close to,life is shit for ya atm i can believe that,but the pain will lessen,and who knows you might find a job you like or you'll have to settle like most of us,what i'm trying to say is,yeah i can believe you want out right now,but you might not in a couple of months or even next week,if you don't get the job,fuck it,try to take care of yourself and get your shit together before you make any permanent decisions. I spy with my little eye,you blaming yourself,common theme in depression,you talked to someone after your friend bit the dust?I think that might be hitting you harder then you imagine,again,you reaching out and everything else gives off the impression that you need/want to talk to someone/not feel like you do right now,try to fix that first,or don't. I'd rather you not tbh,why? Misery loves company.
Evan Wilson
I don't know anyone from before I was 17. The ones I do know I haven't seen in years. As you move through life you realise that moving forwards is the best thing you can do. Find new things and people in life, change your life completely. Those are your extra-lives, the ability to do what you want to do. Move to a new city, retrain, volunteer for some months, volunteer abroad for six months. Work on farms, learn skills. Train as a carpenter, become self employed, be one of the few honest tradesmen. Help people out. Build a house in the woods. Find a beach in south America and build a shack there, live there. You can really do anything, just try it and stop thinking and stop worrying. If your life seems miserable, it is usually because you are thinking too much, especially about the past, or comparing how you thought your life would be to how it is currently. In that case, surprise yourself, so some thing positive that you never expected to do, or never thought of. If it sucks after a year, do something else. Move around, talk to people you would never have met otherwise. Don't kill yourself, just kill your old life, and make a new one.
Actions, habits, routines and behaviour is what will lift you up. Through hard work and positive action you will over time climb your way out of this. Someone on halfchan said some years ago, "fight against depression like you would fight against someone trying to take your life". It really does require that. Once you start, every day becomes easier, you become stronger. If you slip a little and lose some ground, then you double your efforts and think of ways around each and every obstacle, ploughing forwards no matter whether it is slow or fast, hard or easy. Always forwards.
As for your friend, who knows him better than you. You can carry all those stories of him with you for your whole life, share them with new friends, with your children or grandchildren in the future, or maybe his family and their descendents.
Eli Ramirez
Thanks to all you guys. I really do appreciate it. The user that said, "I'm not quite in the deep end yet, but I'm staring at it," is completely right. I'm not quite there, but I've been beaten down so much in my life, I pretty much just expect failure from myself. I really don't expect to get this job, I'm a right wing, gender fluid guy, with two DUIs…Not exactly everyone's cup of tea. Even though I really know what I'm doing, I'm sure they'll take some young kid fresh out of Michigan, Wisconsin, or Michigan State with no fuck ups in his past. This whole thing is really hinging on whether I get this job or not. I've already been turned down by 3 major fortune 500 companies…and Cisco will probably be the fourth…I went to college for 7 years total, with the Fire Fighting / HAZMAT certification, and I still work for 13 dollars an hour as a fucking sous chef while living in my studio apartment with zero friends…
Follow my advice and go somewhere new where you'll be appreciated. If you have no friends there, you'll probably find it easier to meet people in a new place. Same with the work. Don't think about negatives or downsides, force yourself to consider the positives. Make contingency plans, like "if I don't have this job, then I'll try for one at this other place" or "I'll move to a new state/country and try it there for at least six months if not a year. longer if I like it". Then in a new place, or where you are now, then join a new activity/hobby/sport group that is social. Hiking, fire prevention team for the forests, more summer work but good in that region. Dance class/club, start learning a language and join a language club to practise it at least once a week. Anything like that, choose something and stick with it. You'll enjoy it more over time and you'll feel more comfortable, be able to show new people the ropes and make friends. Keep life simple dude, don't see everything as a failure, see it as an opportunity.
Adrian Morales
Also, if major companies are turning you down, aim lower but in a similar or the same field. Gain experience and do your job well. Then in a few years you will be sought after by bigger companies and you can be the one choosing.
Jacob Morales
I've never tried it myself, but I always say that I would sooner become homeless and walk from coast to coast before I off myself. Nothing left to lose, right? Just get your affairs slightly in order and then grab some supplies and head out. Probably a good idea to have a route at least partially planned, though - you need places to eat, wash yourself, and to hop on public library computers to update your route and check the weather, etc.
Live through your own little homeric epic and then you can off yourself knowing that you did something grand.
Can't really say a reason you shouldn't, but I'll tell you why I don't. I wake up, take several painkillers, meet people at university, and bury all the unwanted thoughts behind drugs and terrorist jokes. After a while you begin to push down all thoughts and life becomes easier. Doesn't make sense to give up when things seem hard now. You and I both know life hasn't always been hard. There will be both good and bad times. But, do whatever. I'm too high to care whether some internet user pretends to kill themselves.
Wyatt Green
Been there, done that. It will catch up to you user. I hope you're ready for when it does.
Also, thanks to everyone else trying to keep me on earth. It's appreciated. I need a big change in some way shape or form. Whether that's this job, offing myself, or moving somewhere no one has any idea of who I am.
Jeremiah Carter
Just keep trying. It took me almost 4 years to find a decent developer job. They're out there.
I didn't see this with all the spider memes everywhere. I am a guy.
Brayden Nelson
Don't do it OP. Ur cute and seem cool. I'd love to have you in our IT department. An opportunity will come your way eventually. Just keep working towards your goal.