ITT: THINGS YOU DO THAT YOU'RE PRETTY SURE NO ONE ELSE DOES

ITT: THINGS YOU DO THAT YOU'RE PRETTY SURE NO ONE ELSE DOES

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Think for myself

FUCKING KEK

I have a bide kit the i have adjusted so that the water sprays directly into my ass hole. Every time i sit down to take a shit, i first spray water up my ass so the i can shit effortlessly. I give myself an enema 5-6 times a day when i'm home.

I intentionally have sexual fantasies before bed in hopes that I wake up with morning wood.

I do that so I'll have wet dreams

I try this but it always just turns into a wank tbh.

How do you have to have them "intentionally?" I fuck my gf almost every night, and it just comes naturally. That might be because I lift before bed though. Sweat seems to drive her fucking crazy about fucking. It's gotta be some pheromone shit.

Whenever I get a toothpick after dinner, or movie popcorn or something, I keep poking at my gums for at least another 10-20 minutes. Not so much that they bleed, but enough that it hurts. All the spaces in between where the teeth meet the gums, back and forth, little bits of pain, but I do it every time.

I am literally myself.

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I live in a small appartment, where I collect social wellfare cheks, due to a cancer I had a few year ago. The neighbor downstairs, keep his shnauzer on the balcony when he live for work. He leave the little guy with only food and water bowls and a dog litterbox. Sometime's, when he is gone, I like to empty my colostomy bag on his balcony to make him believe it was the dog who shat outside the litterbox. The first couple of time, he slapped the dog's backside to punish him, but now the dog eat my poop to prevent further punishements.

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does it work?

I hope this is a copypasta, if not, I hope you choke on your colostomy bag

Sexual fantasies are actually demons that feed off of your pleasure

When I was in highschool, I convinced my gf from a christian conservative family, that sex was only when the penis entered the vagina, and that she would still be a virgin for mariage, if i penetrated her, using only with my testicles while she jerked me off. So everytime, I would squeeze my balls to get into her.

i just use porn to get hard and then i jerk off to something in my head which is completely different.

ACE move right there

I do that a lot. Not that I need porn to get it up but I like it.

i can go days without getting hard once, i feel like i am naturally asexual, since a lot of my fantasies are conceptual and need structure, i cant just get off to dick in pussy or ass. only porn works to get it up for me. premature erectile dysfunction maybe.

I try to find the most trending video on pornhub, then screenshot funny comments, to make memes.

I like to jerk off to busty woman being sad about the idea of the inevitable abscence of existence that comes after death, while her incestuous son try to confort her.

i don't think a woman has ever contemplated the things which trouble a man's daily thoughts like what you described.

But don't think women enjoy getting their open eyes jizzed on, yet such porn exist.

i like realism in my porn

Do you ever jerk off to naked women hanging themselfs?

I like your style, user.

Enough to jerk me off?

no, I only like it when woman gets raped, or molests a young boy.

I like when I see hot women getting publicly humiliated stripped and gropped, but not rapped, fingered and I make sure the porn is fake otherwise I cry of sadness while jerking of

yeah I like it in real life when a woman is in pain, it makes me genuinely happy.

that's pretty specific stuuf there, user


Anything that involves {edited} gets me off

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I actually enjoy eating my g/f's ass

I slap my boner against thin metal objects home like side of the dishwasher to make loud noises.

Just wear a diaper you morans

It's much easier that way you don't even have to use the toilet.

Play along with the bass of metal and punk songs I know well with a kazoo,

...

i click my tongue when i'm waking up

Like good things.

My wife.

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