I am a Doctor

Another beautiful day in the 1950s

The Doctor is in.

What ails you Holla Forums?

Occasional chest pain, not severe

Let me pound on it

Sounds like indigestion possible, is is related to eating?

Yes I happen to be a fatass. Funny isn't it?

It would seem so.

Prescription of a diet sir.
Assuming you wish not to be a, as you say "Fatass"

It's my dick, doc.
It just doesn't get hard anymore.
Can a teenager fap to much?
I need help doc.
Get my dick hard again..

I appear to have come down with the most severe of ailments. I have awoken with the most uncontrollable attraction to my fellow males.
May god have mercy as he smites me for this most egregious of sins

Young man, it is times like this where it is possible you have ascended mere human attraction… Have you tried browsing /k/. maybe that may help?

Unfortunately such a place fails to sate my longing for the attraction, and affection, of my fellow males. I feel that there is no hope for me, but please Doc, is there any remedy you may procure that can help fix my most unfortunate of situations?

You poor fellow. You are indeed correct it is a very severe ailment.

You must do your best to with hold your desires, if it is truly uncontrollable have yourself committed to our new state of the art curing camps. There is state of the art technology to help young men cure themselves for this.

But please, here is some information on your ailment. Known as homosexuality.

if all else fails, you must kill yourself user

Thank you kind Doctor, I will attempt what you have prescribed, if that fails to cure my disgusting disease I will, without fear, end myself
Amen

You have no choice but to an hero.
I'm sorry sir.

Doctor, I fear I may be a homosexual

Short sharp pains in chest, on both sides, happens once per day, every day or two
Usually right under my nipples, between my ribs
I was told it was allergies, I'm here for a second opinion

Now listen very closely. if you are between the ages 15-21 you have nothing to fear however if you are not. You need to tell me more details so i can alert the authorities. We cant have you walking about the streets until you are cured.

It's possibly homosexuality.

I'm assuming these pains are temporarily relieved when you think about or god forbid engage in homosexual activities?

Are you in your youth (Under 21 years of age?)

I have asthma as well as dematographia
mild aspbergers as well
Gimme a cure doc

Well, the dematographia and the mild asbergers are precursors to i'm sorry to say Homosexuality.

Are you keeping those aspbergers under control at all, what are your coming mechanisms?

20 as of currently
They happen usually in morning or midday, and thinking of sadly doesn't stop them
The homosex that is related to the activities I do is when I'm throwing (non-recyclable) glass bottles at them
(I will still continue to think of God though, like every man & woman should)

Could I have caught "The Gay" from the Homosexuals I've been attacking??? Please respond urgently, I couldn't live as a Homosexual !!!

Oh dear! I left out God from one of my sentences!
I Think I may have caught Homosexuality Doc!

as long as you haven't touched them or accepted any of their cookies or gifts towards you you should be okay.
You may want to have yourself committed to an electric shock therapy camp though just to be sure. Never can be too safe.

You fool. Only Doctors can do that.

Anyone else WILL catch the Homosex.

Once every 326 seconds exactly my left elbow itches
I am afraid

An hero yourself user

Well, i have some news for you.

This sounds a lot like, Schizophrenia any more information you can give would be helpful.

Whats up doc!
I'm a wise cracking jewish anthropomorphic rabbit who has a mild form of autism. got a remedy for me or what?

I belive some Zyklon B may be of som ehelp to you.

Put it over some hot coals and make a sauna.

Let me know how it goes.

As you're Jewish you have no risk of homosexuality.

Doc I have slight back pains, can ya prescribe me some of that morphium stuff?

Hmm…

That sounds like the second stage of the Homosexuality.

You can have some morphine but it won't do much unfortunately, if you can get yourself to a shock camp or clinic before stage three then there is hope for you.

I have constant fatigue, tightness in my chest, and never-ending nausea. Changes in heat (especially if it suddenly gets hotter, not so much if I get temporarily chilled) and off-putting smells easily make me vomit. I developed a lot of problems just a few months ago after anesthesia and having teeth removed. I also am sore all the time. I don't get any better even though months have gone by and I've just been told rather vaguely to wait and see if it passes. I don't know what's wrong with me but I can't work or go outside really because so many things easily make me vomit. This chest pain also seems to correspond with very dry winter weather and to be alleviated somewhat by more humidity. I keep waking up with blood in my nostrils. I really don't know what to do though, all these problems…

I want a 9 year old wife to grow happy with. Can you help me with this doc?

You've caught the homosex

Perfectly normal

Chronic wind.

What orifice is it coming from?

Imma take shock therapy, sounds comfy. Thanks doc!

new age crap