Painful anus

HEY

the best thing that helped me when I was really fat and got terrible asteroids was going full plant based and sticking coconut oil up my ass to allow what is technically a hernia of the vein to slip it's way back in. OP doesn't get enough fiber and has a dry asshole. lube it up and watch it go away faster than any before it. works like magic.

PRO TIP: preperation H makes it worse. thins out the skin and makes it hurt more, not only that but it makes it more likely and easier to get more asteroids in the future.

I'm Not a doctor. ask your doctor before doing anything.

Good luck user, I know your pain. Used to get hems once every 6 months (not even a fatass), but then I got the thrombosed one which was way bigger and more painful. Since they cut that blood clot out (it looked like a dark red bean), I haven't had one.

Start eating loads of cayenne pepper in your meals. It has a cooling effect inside the intestines & colon.

So I should just buy coconut oil and ignore any hemorrhoid "treatments"? I'd believe that they cause more hemorrhoids because it makes a repeat customer out of whoever buys it

I haven't tried the oil, but I think it'd just make it easier to push the rrhoid back inside your ass (and also for it to come back out again). I've only tried some ointment which just made it slightly less painful.

Well I tried olive oil and it appears to be working. After some searching about cayenne pepper, it appears like people have had success in drinking warm water mixed with cayenne pepper daily. Apparently the pepper helps with blood circulation.

Gonna try it, cant be worse than telling the cute nurse down at the clinic that my asshole likes like a clove of garlic

No idea about the pepper, I thought the guy was joking since it would probably make taking a shit feel like shitting lava. But if it's that big, I'd go to the doctor anyway since it might be thrombosed (if it feels hard to the touch and is painful when pinched). They'll cut that shit out and you'll be out of there in 5 minutes. Doctors don't really give a fuck about that sort of thing.

I wasn't joking. It has a burning effect going in, and a cooling effect coming out

Naw, it's not thrombosed, just rather large. And you may say they don't care which they probably dont but this nurse is a legitimate 9/10 and I will have to tell her my issue before seeing the doctor because she's the practitioner

It only works with cayenne pepper, though. If you ingest loads of random peppers, it will feel like the aforementioned lava.

But hydrocortisone. It will relieve the burning and itching and help swelling go down. Try coconut oil too. Hydrocortisone isn’t going to thin your anus if you use it for a day or two. Improve your health and learn ways to prevent this type of thing. But if you need relief now hydrocortisone will work.

Don't let anyone slice up your body user.

It will go away on its own if you let the area heal by removing the cause of the problem. Might take a few weeks or months but it will heal - I am speaking from multiple experiences.
In my case, it was caused by eating things that my body did not like and having poor digestion and poor gut biome. One time it was caused by macadamia nuts, another time by cow cheese. Nothing to do with fiber.

Do what you feel is best though. Letting someone dice you up and having a wound that never properly heals is a very redpilling experience. Perhaps it would be best if you went through something like that.

Surgery is a last ditch option for me. I'll only go under the knife if the pain gets unbearable and affects my sleep heavily. My current plan is to chug some cayenne pepper for a week or so and eat a bunch of rice

Sounds like a good plan.
If you cook the rice with a bit of oil in the water it will greatly boost the resistant starch amount in the rice which helps with gut issues (if that's what caused your situation). Potatoes help too.

Another thing to look at for temporary relief is a squatty-potty type setup for your bathroom.
Good luck, sincerely.

Thanks user. I'll throw some oil up in my rice cooker right now

How about wipe your ass like a human next time and stop being a basement-dwelling Cro-Magnon.

heh

Come on m8. I wipe my ass till it's clean every time. If anything, I may have caused the hemorrhoid by being too aggressive with my wiping.

...

That's a sad story. Post a picture of your dildo :^)

Let me prepare your ass for your colonoscopy, with my throbbing probing tongue

bump so others can learn

don't use olive oil on your skin is has skin thinning steroid like effects.

all the v-egan hippies mix that with ginger and lemon and apple cider vinegar before drinking it. not sure if it's a good idea or not. never tried it. I'm not a doctor so don't trust this. ask your doctor about it.

previously fat asteroid user now v-egan user here, prepH always made mine worse. ALWAYS.

getting surgery is really dangerous. food allergies/ eating hot sauce/ spicy food are definitely a part of it, but I know from experience that eating a good amount of fiber like oats and beans on a plant based diet made me get much less asteroids ever since. low fiber = you have to push harder to get the poop out and you get the hernia effect.

NO NO NO DON'T. eat oats. oats and dark colored beans. rice has huge levels of arsenic and will constipate you.

do you have any idea how much rice you have to eat before any "poisoning" happens? good luck with that

OP you are going to get constipated as fuck doing this and not only that but you will convert all the simple carbs to sugar and store the bad fat as double fat uptake storage. enjoy getting obese and shitting bricks until you have a square shaped asshole.

BAD IDEA

apparently not that much so it seems.
why settle for an inferior simple carb with very high doses of poison when you could go for an equally cheap variety of complex carbs that bring more nutrition and are much safer?

because rice is fucking loaded with fiber? maybe something like that

the fiber and simple carbs in rice are pathetic shit compared to the glorious complex carbs and soluble and insoluble fiber found in beans and oats. they are just as cheap, have more nutrients, and don't have those crazy levels of arsenic like rice does. ask your doctor about it before trying.

just shut up and go back to your vegan thread

1. Walk outside
2. Find a few big icicles
3. Sit on toilet
4. Insert one in anus
5. Repeat until hemeroid shrinks/feels better.

You think I'm joking, but you'll thank me. It works very well.

PAINUS

Tell your man you can only frot and suck for the next 2 weeks

go fuck yourself. I'm not going to stop telling the truth just becuase you got your panties in a twist you fucking pussy bitch

OP do you feel better?

Not really, but I think the cayenne pepper water is helping. Also for rice I meant brown rice specifically, as it has a decent amount of fiber.

Pretty sure it is thrombosed by the way, contrary to what I said earlier in the thread. I took a picture of it (no I wont post it) just so I could see it better and it definitely looks like a blood clot. Still refusing surgery though

RIP

Sit on a heating pad or a heated car seat. Change positions often. Buy preparation h.

I researched the condition yesterday, and everything points to all hemorrhoids, even thrombosed ones, healing over time. Surgery really is a last ditch effort at solving the problem, only to be used if say the hemorrhoid is literally preventing you from shitting or if it's infected and has a chance to create sepsis, which could be fatal.

Yeah I have committed to a daily walk after this anal-disaster. As for prep-h, the consensus seems to be that it just makes hemorrhoids worse.

Update: I'm probably dying

Took a shit and an excess of blood came out with the tissue. Thought it was getting better but I guess not. High chance of infection now, I'm guessing.

RIP OP, I loved you all

don't listen to the other fag, don't wipe you ass, use water instead its more hygienic and will not damage your butt hole

What color was the blood? If it was bright red, like fresh blood, then you're fine apart from discomfort
No. I don't remember what it's called, but the anatomy of the colon is different than the rest of the body, including where the blood flow comes from. It's isolated from the rest of the body such that the toxic environment this is raw sewage we're talking about here is not allowed spread to the rest of you body. All toxins in the last section of your intestines are relentlessly being recycled back through select organs (kidneys, liver, I don't remember what exactly) to prevent what you're talking about. The exception being if you have a full-on rupture, such as a burst appendix. Chances are your hemrhoid is tearing off and the intestines will soon heal themselves. If you don't get a fever or have massive pain, you're fine.

It was indeed fresh blood. No fever or unbearable pain either, just the feeling of a bloody anus.

Thanks Dr. Holla Forums. You are infinitely more helpful than the ER nurse I called.

please post pic of bloody butthole. it's the only way to science a cure

ER nurses can't help, because they're not legally allowed to give out medical advice. They'd be hammered for practicing medicine without a license. I got hemorrhoids once upon a time when I was doing WAY too many drugs so I've been through it. Eat cayenne pepper, keep insoluble fiber in your diet, if you're snorting lines then fucking stop, and drink plenty of water

Also this ^^^

Trust me user, there is nothing special about my bloody butthole. It's just like any other bloody butthole.

Yeah that's basically what she told me. No drugs (except weed) and all I am eating for the next week is beans, brown rice, and bananas. I feel like an islandnigger

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My anus is also bleeding. But it's because I bought a XXL wall mounted dragon dildo. My goal is to be just like goatse

checking these

Please seek help

Shove some ice cubes up ur butt m8

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Update again, more blood today…a lot of it. Still fresh blood (mostly, there was some scabbing from the other day too)

Won't stop bleeding. Not sure what to do.

Definitely don't consult a doctor.

It's Christmas Eve, even if I could afford a doctor's visit, I wouldn't be able to go for at least 2 days

Addendum:_Went_to_the_emergency_room_because_the_bleeding_wouldn't_stop_(as_of_this_writing_I_am_still_bleeding_fairly_badly)._Doc_confirmed_I_had_a_blood_clot,_but_said_that_cutting_it_out_is_relatively_pointless,_because_it_would_just_solve_the_current_clot_and_not_prevent_any_future_hemorrhoids._Said_to_wash_my_ass_with_soap_and_water_every_6_hours_and_buy_hydocortizone._

Moral_of_the_story_kids:_Eat_a_balanced_diet,_don't_push_out_your_shit_too_hard,_and_never_have_hardcore_anal_sex._If_you_do,_you_might_end_up_making_a_thread_on_8/b/_about_how_your_anus_refuses_to_stop_spitting_blood_like_a_sprinkler_attached_to_a_fire_hydrant._

Remember,_sodomite,_Hell_is_forever.

Not_from_personal_experience,_just_threw_that_in_there_as_an_extra_warning

Its_actually_from_anal_sex._Talk_to_your_dr_about_it._He'll_suggest_astro_glide.