Funny joke thread

i'll begin: OP is a fag

when?

I got a good one hold on

now THAT is what i call a funny joke xD

okay so two jewish rabbis walk into a bar and look at each other and say hey what will you have to drink I'll pay for you friend! they both say to each other Oh my good friend you are so nice we buy each others drinks and pay the same money, it's like a coupon, so we saved money haha buddy I love you bro oy bey hue hue hue so the bartender comes around and says hey what will you have and they both say I want red wine of course the customary jewish alchohol and they say okay and the bartended says this special wine was made from the grapes smashed by only the soft feet of jewish children from jewish wine farmers so it's extra fancy and the family takes great pride in popping out kids constantly so theres always little feet to smash the grapes oy vey they both say we never knew such a wine existed, and they say how much will it be and the bartender says just for your rabbis because your jewish you get the jewish pass discont coupon ticket special afternoon senior deal at one dollar per glass of extra jewishy grape wine wow they say what a great deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so then they went to pay but only in pennies so they counted 12345678910111213145644325832834962 99 cents and then they went to reach and they had not 100 cents so they says to everyone oyvey does anyone have that take a penny leave a penny thing? and the bartenter says yea here you go and the penny went slow motion into the floor he dropped it oh no the penny went fliipp….. flooop….. floowwpp……. flooooooooeee….. and then it touched the floor *dinkkk!!!* the shiney coin went and the rabbis were sweating and they looked at each other like haha hey buddy its not problem it is problolmb and the jedi i mean rabbis JUMPED INTO THE FUCKING FLOOR LIKE THE MATRIX FWOOOOSH DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN "take my picture!" Dun dun dun duh deee "TAKE MY PICTURE" and then the whole fucking thing went daruda sandstrom and they went hiiiyyy YAHHHH oooooooyyyyy VEEEY!!!!!! and the whole fucking restaurant explosed BASHJFHEGAWYFHUDJFSAKDADSJFKSDFJADSFASOFL:GHEIGF N and then the rabbis and bartenders got a million MILLION DOLLARS INSURANCE MONEY AND RICH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the end.

once I was taking a shower and dropped the bar of soap and tried to get it would bending down and I kicked it but the bar of soup flew up my own ass and I farted bubbles for weeks

how does this thread have NO replies? you fuffer duckers

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Why are Mexicans so good at Uno?

they take all of the green cards

What's a contractors sure fire way to get laid on a date?

[spoiler]a roofie[spoiler/]