Small Dick Question

I'm a 30yo virgin and decided I'm going to buy me a hooker for Christmas Eve. Finally get me some sex. I have a question on a sex position:

I ask because missionary is definitely out of question. I have weak arm strength so won't be able to support myself on top of her and I don't want her to look at me. I'm going to be nervous enough as it is. Doggy is also out of the question because you have to thrust your hips inside the female and I've never done this before so she may notice I can't keep rhythm and realize I'm a virgin. Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl are also out of the question because of the size of my penis I feel she may slide off after every pump and that will be very embarrassing for me so I'd rather not even deal with that.

The position in the picture will make sure she doesn't look at me but at the same time I control the depth and if worst comes to worst I can just lay on top of her and tighten my pubic muscles and cum that way.

Other urls found in this thread:

lolifox.org/lg/src/1511658945096.jpg
lolifox.org/lg/src/1511660309420.jpg
twitter.com/AnonBabble

How fucking ugly are you that you couldn't even score with a drunk 6/10?

1) Fuck your trips
2) I'm extremely shy. I doubt a drunk girl will even want to fuck me after I get naked and she sees how small I am. Always been insecure about my privates.

OP here. I know that's a subtle way of bragging, and I know you're still a loser

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Skippy that you?

Why is that bad? Jim is in his 50s isnt he?

Yeah, what's the big deal with Jim anyway

I mean, obvioul he doesn't understand true imageboard culture

who fucking cares? she's a hooker !

OP here:
Forgot to ask

I was going to use Backpage but that is the only site I know of. I hear it is easy to use but I'm looking for the best site if possible. I have $200 right now but I should be able to spend around $400-500 come Christmas Eve for a girl. Want to get a good deal.

You realize I'm losing my virginity to a hooker, right?
It's bad enough that I have to stoop this low to get some pussy but if she finds out I'm also a virgin she's going to laugh her ass off and make fun of me. You know how fucked up that is and how that would fuck me over? I'm going to pretend like I've done this before but just haven't had sex in a while just in case she asks. I'm going to say I've been on a dry spell and need to practice on hookers before I start going back to bars for regular women. I think that sounds believable considering my age.

Just say "I'm not very good at fucking" and pretend you're drunk and goofy. Maybe knock over a fucking vase.

if you're paying good money, tell her. if not, stop being a faggot and fuck the shit out of her. you're a degenerate, btw. magician status: lost

inb4 you get jailed and on LIVEPD

Reverse cowgirl is probably your best beYou could also just put her on the side of the bed and stand on floor and fuck her like that so you don't need arm/ab strength.

she's gonna fuck you anyway, she's not with you because she thinks you're hot, she with you because you pay her.
tell her that you're virgin.

its not like she's gonna think you're a loser, you're already paying for sex.

The last girl I hooked up with was a Jewish former escorShe told me she would sometimes give freebies to virgins if they told her. Not sure that's customary, but I've heard elsewhere it can happen. Just be honesWhat's the worst that can happen? She laughs at you or something? She's selling her fucking holes. You should be the one laughing.

Jesus fucking ChrisOkay, first a whore has seen all kinds of men and almost never gives a shiBut if you tell her not only will she not laugh but she'll probably pay special attention to you.

Second, you're buying her time. You don't lie to someone whose job it is to help you. You don't lie to your lawyer, your shrink, or your tailor because what;s the point? you would just hurt yourself by getting poor service. For the same reason don't lie to your whore.

For $300 you should google for escort services in your area. Tell dispatch you're a virgin and you may get a discounDon't ask dispatch for one. When she arrives also tell the girl. Don't ask the girl for a discount either. You get one or you don'

You should know unless you pay extra you probably won't get to kiss her. Settle the business up fronMake a list of what you want to do and make sure she's okay with all of iYou probably won't last 2 minutes your first time, and tht's okay. Hopefully you'll recover fast enough for another go. Don't be shy about saying what you want, but don't be a dick about it.

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I'm not OP and I'm 30

She let me fuck her for free; and didn't even make fun of my small uncut dick. Of course we met off craigslist and I let her do other weird shit to me, but that's another matter.

Bullshit has been called. Pics or it didn't happen

you better hurry pos government is going after backpage ,, they went after my redbook which was by far thee best escort website ever invented but they were successful in getting it taking down .. i give backpage only a few months left

craigslist also has personal/escort shit but not as good as backpage … one word of advice only go for adds that state no black men 99% of them are legit and not local police

and being a shy insecure 1st timer you should go after a older escort ,, they been around longer and maybe will take pity on you ,, the young bitches might just rush the fuck out of you … also expect these bitches not to look like their pictures so don't get all mad when they open the door and are 20lb heavier and look a little busted up … now this doesn't happen with all of them but i would say a good 60% of them look pretty different than their pictures ….. i don't really have any advice about the small dick ,, i'm small flacid but grow to about 7'' ,, not sure how a escort will react to a tiny erect dick but im sure they see them all the time so it should be no big deal to them …. thats all the advice i got for ya

I'll never understand this, it's always underage users saying it too. People don't grow out of hobbies, yesteryear older people played with trains, now they shit post.

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I'm 48

Quick, somebody call this guy a noob

Why won't you just go for superior LITTLE GIRL?

-they have small and tight holes.
-they will never call you a virgin, or laugh at you for being one
-they aren't fat like 25 year olds so there is easy access to their holes
-they can keep a secret

this
little girls are way better option for OP than old dirty hookers

your mom was the best hooker

Thats more of a turn off than a small dick █

except they cant

Even though this it is a first time, you're buying the experience. You fuck that hooker the way you want to, that's what you pay for anyways. You use her the way you want to (as long as it's within the mutual agreement) and I'm sure she'll play along. Sex is something that you learn through experience, so if this is your first go around, you'll be a rookie, but ever if you fuck again, you'll have learned some next time.

Which one girl would u prefer OP?
lolifox.org/lg/src/1511658945096.jpg
lolifox.org/lg/src/1511660309420.jpg

that position lets you penetrate deep and you don't have to have a big dick

I want all you fucking kids gone by tomorrow morning

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jim is 32

lol I'm more successful than you NEET

hookers do not give a shit if your a virgin or not they just hope your not gonna assault them or smell like shit

this is coming from someone who lost his virginity to one

Good b8
5/8

You are massively over thinking this. She is a pro, she knows exactly what to do, you just have to lay there and let her work. Thats what you are paying for.As long as you pay her, and jerk off BEFORE she arrives, so she doesnt fuck you for 2 minutes and demand full pay. You are dealing with hundreds of millions of years of sexual evolution, just let it happen. I doubt you'll leave anything but happy.

I've wanted a small dick. I'm not huge or anything, just above average. My dick doesn't match my body size, though. I'm 5'5" manlet with a relatively girthy 6.5 or 7 incher. Girls I've been with have always loved my dick, but I always thought I'd be cuter with an under-average dick. OP, the grass is always greener. I've got two friends with humungo cocks (8-9 inchers) and it freaking sucks for them. It's always good for the "WOW" factor, but they can't do anything with them.

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hey OP,

sorry to break it to you but
if you have a tiny benis your only option is underage cuties.

no, but easier if she's on all fours on the bed and you're standing behind her
that might work best for you.
or she's on all fours on the floor and you're on your knees behind her
but use something on the floor to soften the impact to the floor like pillows or a blanket/towels

doggy-style is by far the easiest position to have sex in

tell her you're a virgin
some girls get off to that
and in the least, she might perform more for you

Considering you're paying her to fuck you, I'm not sure why trying keep a sense of pride by hiding your virginity.
It's a hooker. She doesn't care and might be able to tell anyways. Maybe she'd teach you, but that's coming from a vrigin.


Stop humble bragging on an anonymous imageboard. It's cringey.

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Who's that? I mean, not allegedly, but really.

OP if you're still here and haven't killed yourself already you should tell her you're a virgin. You think women will laugh at you and make you feel even more embarassed but I'll bet the cost of your hooker that she'll be flattered and help you out. She'll be more weirded out if you act like you're not a virgin and sloppily try to have sex. Just tell her and I'm sure she'll help you out.

what do you measure success as?

I posted three good answers to this thread and all were deleted, probably by a lazy mod who couldn't be arsed to delete actually illegal individual posts from someone using the same VPN. This is why mods are cancer.

This. She will be understanding if you tell her

checked

d-d-dad?

(most) girls don't care about the size of your dick, user. just practice how to properly cunnilingus and literally zero chicks will care


hey, isn't that lara loomer?

Holla Forums BO. literal dicksucker… and, no surprise, shitty at it. Holla Forums literally sucks at everything, including (literal) sucking. the video is floating around.

can we confirm that it actually is the bo?

/r/sex ask them instead.

what about theeroticreview . com?


Why would you not just tell a hooker that you're a virgin?? She'll take pride in fixing you right up.

She's going to say something like, "tell me what you like" - when she says that, you should say something like, "I'm going to be completely honest with you, I'm a virgin." Just own that shit.

Also, as to the position, the best option to start with is cowgirl, here's why: with cowgirl, she'll be putting your dick in her, as opposed to you trying to do the work (which you wont know how to do). Trust me. Take off your pants, lie down your back, and she'll hop on top of you, get you hard, put the condom on, and slide your dick in. She'll do all of that while you play with her tits. It'll be fine. You'll love it.

If you try to be the one to put your dick in her, it'll be awkward. Just let her do it. Also this:

Nah dude. It's not like in porn. In real life girls don't go up and down during cowgirl. Instead, they slide their hips back and forth. It's more like vid-related. It still feels really good, and nothing slides out. Make sure you're mashing her titties all around too - get your money's worth.

Definitely start with that position. After she's ridden you for a while, if you want to switch it up, by that time you'll have the confidence to do so. Prone-bone will be fine. My advice then is to start by straddling her like the guy in your pic, but farther back (your dick isn't in her yet) and finger her. That'll answer your question about where her twat is in that position (spoiler: it's easily reachable). Once you figure that out, you can get your dick in there and you'll end up laying on top of her, not straddling her like the guy in your pic.


I'm 43. And you know what, if this shithole is still around in 30 years, you'll still be hanging out here too.

lelz