Let's all laugh at Marvel: #Champions Storytime #4

Richard stops by to see an old friend.

And then Richard takes Sam out drinking, and we get a nice moment to show that people do still care, and it's just Marvel Earth that sucks.

Of course, a sleazy space bar means bounty hunters, and bounty hunters means trouble. Trouble to be dealt with next issue!

End

So, what did you all think, Holla Forumsmrades?

what is this Danny Phantom?

Personally I thought this issue of Champions was fairly decent. No political bullshit but some misadventure. Reminds me of some older comics.

This is a pretty good story user. I like his reaction to all the stuff thats happened in the recent years with Marvel. That Nova story was really touching user. Thank you for it.

Are you from tumblr trying to fit in?

Forgot the link

I thought that phrase was a reference to Tropic Thunder or could be interpreted as such.

I don't know about the movie but Tropic Thunder is fucking funny.

Sorry, just a correction.

I chuckled.

Seriously, unless the world being referred to at the top of that second image is the real one I don't think anyone actually gave a shit about Civil War 2 in universe other than to cheer on Hawkeye for killing Banner and Danvers for (nearly) killing Stark.

what the hell is happening to cho's face

Once again I have to say that marvel citizens must be the shittiest people in the multiverse.

...

Weren't they so bad that when some marvel heroes went to DC at first they believed DC citizens were brainwashed by DC heroes because hey were loved and appreciated?

actually that's pretty subtle satire, I like it

I remenber reading a Marvel vs DC crossover a long time ago that was similar.

When Flash gets teleported to the Marvel universe, he saves some random people from a disaster or something and expects to get praised for his heroics, instead he gets ganged and shit thrown at him for being a disgusting mutie. It was fun.

This is going to be a disaster.

Wew, they better be careful, the writer almost became self aware of how awful and self centered the Marvel Universe has become.

I believe it was from DC-Marvel Access event. It was prelude before we got the Amalgam comic.

The Champions are boring.

As usual with Marvel, they make a big hoopla about how *HASHTAG* their comics are, but in the end, they're just mediocre trash. It's the same formulaic comics they've been releasing for years.

Fuck

¿Qué te han traido los reyes, user?

I'm going to regret asking this but who in the everloving fuck is Viv Vision?

FTFY

Just make it stop…

Not that user, but for me, a new pair of speakers.

Keep those three images. Keep them because once again, unintentionally, a shitty writer has captured the problem with Marvel's bullshit.

Imagine your friend Tim dies. Then, a few days later, you go over to your friends house to pack up his stuff and you find some random guy living in his house, wearing his clothes, eating his food, and calling himself Tim. Upon insistence that this man is not in fact Tim, he states that Tim is just the guy who wears Tim's shirts, and that he's wearing Tim's shirt to honor his memory as the new Tim.
That's not respect, that's identity-theft. It's madness. And yet you're expected not to complain. Characters are no longer characters, but concepts.

Richard Rider has come back to Earth and the first thing he sees is a bunch of 12 year olds impersonating his dead friends.

How bad are the sales.

She's the Vision's daughter from his failed attempt to create a family.

Marvel made her into a superhero because that's all Marvel knows how to do.

We don't know because Marvel is inflating their numbers by shipping lots of free issues to comic shops.

How did it end?

Get back to your northern pueblo

Cant be that hard, anyone have a calculator?

How was that series?

I have only read the first 8 issues but I was enjoying it.

Figures those bums would do anything to try and maintain relevance in a dying outlet.

Yeah

I just noticed 2 things:
1) Cyclops is propelling the entire vessel without actually grabbing onto something while ms marvel does jackshit
2) They all keep saying that somebody should be a leader. It's like a comedy bit from the beginning of Minions or something. Nobody (except the few) is man enough to simply say how things should be done and is too willing to just say "I will be YOUR bitch".

He's always right

JLA/Avengers

Cause the first fucking crossover between the companies was that shitty DC vs. Marvel event in the 90's.

Alright

Link?

Doesn't Gwen and Spider-Nig HATE eachother after their first crossover event? I mean he nearly reenacted THE SNAP and got her busted after she went "KILLING BACKGROUND CHARACTERS IS OKAY" in front of him.

As of yet i have only seen Gwenpool written "well" in her own series, where the writer goes out of his way to lessen her "gimmick", due how fast it gets stale.

Well they seem to be kissing now

That's Spider-Gwen. Who i keep forgetting exists. Im pretty sure Poole was wet for him 90% of the crossover too though, cause everyone MUST like Miles, why don't YOU like Miles Holla Forums? You should like Miles, Are you RAYCISS?

Eh, could've been interesting Until they brought Peter again

She tried to call Miles' house in a recent issue to get him to bring the Champions in and help her fight a renegade Doombot that was trying to kill her, so I don't think she outright hates him. He did end up thinking she was insane after that crossover, though.

White girls can't help it. Even when they hate a brotha, they need that BBC.

not bad, tad pretentious at times but good

oh god.
don't let him defile her

On one hand, I always enjoy Ramos's art. On the other, I dread how poorly Waid will write Gwenpool.

I didn't see issue 3, probably don't care to. But this is better than issue 1 or 2, where characters were filling their cliche roles HARD. Everyone still seems like a bit of a cliche, but not nearly as bad (Hulk comes off as just arrogant instead of a jock, Ms. Marvel isn't as much of a stereotypical busybody, and ever panel with Nova isn't about how much of a loser he is). So, improved, but not really a book I'd go out and recommend to people. Story itself was a little boring, but inoffensive.

Allow me to summarize:

Then the plane goes Alola Snackbar, THE END.

I still think that the idea that a "Meta-Aware Gwen" would want to be anywhere near the guy who almost reenacted what is one of the most famous comic death scenes involving a Gwen to be bad writing.

But she's not really a Gwen, at least not a Gwen Stacy.
Plus she's kind of a psychopath TBH.

...

You can tell that issue was written by a 50 year old comic nerd trying to be relevant.

Kek

Suddenly I'm intrigued!

Yeah. I mean, even considering that she doesn't reconsider the people around her "real", she thought shooting a kid in the face would be acceptable right in front of Miles. And even after he choked her out and left her for the cops, she still thinks "monthly team ups" are a reasonable option (I mean, technically she's not wrong, but she doesn't assume people around her have actual emotions or value to their lives). Not claiming any of us wouldn't go on a killing spree if tossed into the Marvel U, but still, I'd like to think we'd think it out more.

Wait, was this it? Cause the rest of the book I glanced through was just muslim girls being killed for wanting to read books and show their faces… like in real life. None of them were making out or anything. I feel cheated.

So, now that I've at least skimmed every issue… what the fuck is this book? What's the hook, if any?

Issue 1 forms the team and goes with young people wanting to get away from the shortsighted nature of the older heroes, which makes sense after CW2 and Ms. Marvel's falling out with known retard Captain Marvel. Then it kinda crams in the sex trade and police brutality in but doesn't really do anything with either except affirm that the kids have a code vs killing.

Issue 2 is FUCKING CAMPING, and would serve to set up the characters more if it was written better. Probably the weakest issue, everyone comes off as a stereotype and a shallow boring one at that.

Issue 3, back to social issues in the world. Seems to be what the book wants to be about, and actually does a good enough job bringing up how the motivations of various characters all guide them to action (except Miles and Sam who probably don't care about dead muslim girls, but are along for the ride anyway).

Issue 4 is a completely pointless story about Atlantians shooting them down, which I'm not even sure if it makes sense. I mean, do they try to shoot down any spy plane that travels OVER WATER? That would have to cause some incidents. So, again a character building vehicle, and the characters are handled better than issue 2. But what are people supposed to expect every issue of this book? Them fighting a real world problem, or wasting time with pointless scenarios as an excuse to better define the characters? And don't even get me me started on how the Atlantians beat up Hulk, much less the rest of them.

The tagline is that's about the next generation of heroes showing everyone what real hero is, but as you note half of it is about kids sitting around and talking. That's why a decent amount of people think this book could be satirical. There's a whole lot of "We should do amazing things…but first let's sit around and do nothing." Take the first issue for example:

If this weren't written by noted virtue signaling asshole Mark Waid, you'd probably see some solid arguing about what his intentions really are. But because we know Waid is SJW hack this book is just about an old man trying to prove he's one of the good ones.

It's annoying, because I really would have loved to read a comic about that, and it really could have given the Diversity Squad some real character.

I never get tired of these summaries of shittily written comics.

The thing is that character hooks that should be focused on are just glossed over. Leader or not, Ms. M is basically the lead character, right? She got the group started, she made the first speech, etc. From her own book and CW2, she's not only grown dissatisfied with older heroes in general, but her mentor turned out to be a complete cunt. Even with Miles and Sam upset about things in general, they don't have strained relationships with their mentors or anything. Kamala has a unique motive to set herself apart from the old heroes.

How is that portrayed in Champions? She's bossy. Then she complains that people will think of her being bossy, which is bossy of her. And that's just ONE of the characters that is being poorly written. The only moment that seemed like a good character moment in the whole book was Cyclops talking about how good it feels to just let go with his optic blasts. So much good stuff could be done here, but just isn't.

I should go read the original New Warriors again. Now that was a pretty good teen team back in the day.

The whole camping thing annoyed me since it could've been good. Look at the original Young Justice comic. That did the whole camping thing well.

It's funny, every issue has had a good concept, but bloats it with other bullshit.

...

...

For somereason I keep thing about the runaways first volume when reading this, maybe I just want something good

Who's hand is that clawing through the cover?

Venom?

You gotta vopy to storytime?

Shsme really