What do Holla Forums?

is that her chad she wants to bring :^)

fucking hope not.
I know him quite well, and I haven't heard them being together…

I'm hoping that she never asked him, and sometime between now and then, she'll say "oh no he can't come, shall we just go alone?"

i thought you were in there lad until another dudes name came up, youv not got a chance now though lol oh well

feelsbadman.jpg

where about are you in bongistan lad im actually a porridge wog and up here ' aye aye' usually mes no got an interest in whats being said
you should have said something like oh is it a night out i thought it was a quiet drink two of us or something like that

aye means yes

aye no shit sherlock but who the fuck says 'yes yes' and not be dismissive about it

don't think it's being dismissive, just saying yes. i've never heard it being dismissive here before, in yorkshire

in jockland that would be dismissive, i used to fuck a chick from yorkshire few years ago bit fat but a decent ride anyways aye your probably right so wheeey still in with a shot just tell that other cunt to fuck off so ye can try get your end wet lad :^)

she must be takin me for a fucking ride when she's the one that starts it then brings this other lad into it

maybe shes a dirty bitch n wants it doubled up

It was a shit test. You failed.

Kill her.

one step at a time lad - see how it goes next weekend

I ain't sharing her, I've had a crush on her since high school

post pics of her so we can all judge your taste, i bet you would if she asked thought

the one on the right.

holy fuck she looks like a man
fucking gross

given she's bringing this other chap along - i don't know

does she fuck, man

Rate mine gf lads

...

Just Holla Forums yourself.

I'd bang her lad bet she squeals like a wee slut when shes getting podgered, hopefully youl find out soon eh :^)

OP you screwed up, you should not have asked for a time and place, you should have come up with a place

She looks like Papa Franku

oh well. no greater a teacher than experience as they say

hey OP you herd anything back from that thot yet?

No, today is her birthday so I'm not really expecting her to carry on messaging me. If I've got nothing in a few days I'll message her again asking her about what time she's available.

Will try to keep you guys updated so long as the thread doesn't go.

shit taste.

even if thread does go just make a new one this is something genuinely interesting and deserved a thread
you should msg her again about half 8/9 later if she works and try catch her drunk n see if she gets flirty

u wot m8

...

Thanks user

I feel that might come off a bit too clingy/desperate tho. She's agreed to meet up - albeit with a 'chaperone' - so I think I'll only message her again later in the week about actually sorting that out.

aye ye need that kieren chaperone cunt to fuck right off lad do you know him at all? showing her yer interested is the only reasonable next step forward though it's either gonna work out for you or it's not best to know imo

language you speaking there son? :^)

sounds to me as if this beer guzzling chav you have a crush on is organising her own birthday night out by tying up the time and resources of her entire facebook friend base. she'll have had this chat with every boy she isn't ashamed of knowing, making each feel personally invited but not straight up propositioned. when you get there she'll be surrounded by boys and the centre of attention. you'll orbit, get drunk, slip out early and go home alone, while she'll find the guy with the coke and a big cock.

i want to believe

Keep it coming, OP. Show us the progress

ah dinnae even ken why shae would invite me tae buy her drinks then bring this other chap into it

no further progress. Images in this thread are the extent of conversation

Post pics of the other guy

%%test%%

you don't wanna see them. he is not good looking. neither am i tbh but he is just not good looking at all. also he behaves like , and has the temperament of, a child

I can't even say shit about that m80 that's how the fuckin locals talk round here it bursts my fuckin nut right in

aye but is he banging her prolly

you are just filler to her group

Is she a jew?

there is no group

no group? what happened to kieren?

banging this?

not much of a group. I haven't even spoken to kieren for about a year

is that pic kieran? mate without clapping eyes on you you can easily steal her away from him less hes hung like a horse

aye that's him

lol she looks like elijah wood
would still bang though

oi, what did u just fuckin say

any body shots of her

no thats the only pic of her on her fb

that's a bit suspect usually birds on fb have photos plastered all over shop, shes no piled the weight on recently has she?

Ditch her and bang kieran to make her jealous

she's not a slut (as far as I'm aware), and I used to see her nearly every day in high school and didn't strike me as the type of girl that plasters pics of her everywhere like the sluts did

made me kek

hahahaha

Go on

seriously, you missed your chance and you have to let go of her. go lift weights or something its just part of the game

Seriosly Op, next time just tell her the Time/Place and take control of the bloody situation.

And Saying "If you buy me the next one" made it seem like you are going as friends and not 2 people who wanted to bash butts.

yeah you're probs right. I dun fucked up. oh well, be seeing her next weekend even though not alone -_- but if anything by any chance happens, i'll be the one telling her where we're going. Even though I've probably been friendzoned

told you mate make your intentions clear give her a wee text n see if shes drunk/flirty and if not you'd be as well just cancelling next weekend

Dont give up just yet, you might still have a chance, just don't be a pussy and don't let that other guy get in the way, pass all her shit tests and you will be good to go

help a mate out user?

what should i be like when we meet up? how should i behave, anything i should mention or not mention in particular? standard advise pls user, never been on a date before
:)

if its your first date then it's not going to go well. if you feel like you wanna kill yourself after thats normal

can't wait

Be a man, act like you have all the answers.
Take control of the Situation, that means showing confidence and social value. Don't be afraid to touch her, Seriosly maximise phisical contact if you can.

Don't sit opposite to her, try to sit next to her or as close as possoble, Don't be her friend be the guy she wants to fuck,

To quote Robert Downey Jr "Listen, smile, nod, agree — then do what the fuck you were gonna do anyway"

Most imporantly just relax, You will make mistakes and thats fine, Women dont want you to be perfect they just want you to be a man.

thanks user - will be sure to update this thread or post another one if need be as the situation develops.

tame her, make her submissive

...

fight me

She has a mild case of cuntface, but she's cute.

Good luck, OP. Don't fuck it up like we all know you will

Is that you, Caleb? What are you doing here?

90% chance i fuck it up - but still get to go out and get drunk

10% chance i don't fuck it up and i end up with a qt 3.14 gf.

it's a win-win

I'm rooting for you, however, I am a little concerned about what looks to me like a clear case of cuntface. Does she have a bit of an attitude? Perhaps a bit self righteous?

no, not that i've ever seen. anyway if it does turn out she is, it's not like we're already married

meep meep kieran is a gay name he's prolly a faggot so ur fine tbh no homo

noice one

RED ALTER! RED ALERT! THE CONVERSATION HAS STARTED ONCE MORE

...

...

use a sexual joke user, break that ice

don't listen to this autist

You shouldn't such a cuck, OP.
She'll easily notice how much of a beta you are if you keep asking those flip flop questions.

...

lightweight

meep meep don't say anything just go there and find her and stick ur dick in her mouth cause she's drunk she won't care but maybe u should take her to a movie or something tbh no homo

ask her if she's an alchoholic, but haha behind it so you have jk denialbility

Come on man, step the fuck up already.
Stop being such a beta and make a joke or something.

fuck me dude, i haven't talked to a girl in months, and her for about a year. give me a good one that fits into discussion

you're going to end up getting cucked OP. she will show up at the bar with Tyrone and you will be buying her drinks.

this, exactly

my attempts to crack a joke are fucking hopeless. maybe Tyrone does deserve her

...

Probably doens't work through fb, but i made a girl laugh by telling her some dry/ sarcastic jokes.

hoe's it going so far anons?

you need to chad up. ignore her, criticize her, basically just be an asshole. that is how you get a modern woman to fuck you

did I do good ?

DONT GIVE THE FEMALE OPTIONS. COMMAND, DIRECT.
"Let's go to x and y then" not "you wanna go to x and y then"
she might refuse, BUT YOU HAVE DOMINANCE

i think you're right. no response so far

this

cute, bad angle

too nicely nicely

stop asking, start telling.
Never go "fancy a drink here?", make some cheeky banter, she'll banter back, be joke offended and say something like "right, you owe me for that, this place, this time"
she'll make time for you

JUST CHANGE WHAT YOU SAID, GO LIKE:
"Or let's go to x and y"

worked this time - but I'll take note for the future

SHE ALREADY HAS NOTED IN HER MIND THAT YOU ARE POSSIBLY WEAK, SHOW DOMINANCE TO COMPENSATE

NEVER TAKE WHAT A WOMEN SAYS, ACT ON HOW SHE ACTS

next tip, stop being so verbose.
I know you're not even typing that much but try to match how much she's typing

Why am I such a retard?

wtf is wrong with me? I fell that she is now thinking i am genuinely retarded with these responses

youtube.com/watch?v=1sdWtp0L2oo
WATCH LINK RELATED, REQUIRED VIEWING
Remember, theres tons of fish in the sea, getting exited about one vagina is not GOOD

this tbh. women need to be treated like dogs. don't ask them what they want to do. tell them what to do.

think i fucked up. seen - but no response to this

...

this also for this

user YOU RETARD

yea, i heard the virgin life ain't so bad anyway

Force through user, atleast get to the fucking bar.
Feed with alchohol and proceed as you please, she's even advertising she'll be fucking wasted.
SHE WANTS IT user, DONT LET YOURSELF DOWN

well after that last message she's gone offline - so i guess i fucked up too much with that last message

We're rooting for you user!

off-topic, can anyone tell me why the transparency only shows up when the image is expanded, or is it just because of the CSS

HELP

is she joking?

did i save?

correct response would have been: "yeah, you'll be in the hospital getting my cum pumped out of your stomach for sure"

user, MATCH HER MESSAGE LENGTH. KEEP IT CASUAL.

uh oh

REMEMBER, ALLWAYS ACT ON WHAT THE WOMEN FEELS AND ACTS LIKE, NEVER ON HER ACTUAL WORDS

shit's complicated at first

Ask her something, divert the topic. Something bout family or dogs, around that topic.

would that not be obvious

that doesn't matter to the woman. do it.
its obv and uncomfy spot in the conv, break out of it

youtube.com/watch?v=YVbEwapDlLI
sam hyde has got it down

right, topic's gone back to this kieren person.

I know I haven't matched her sentence length - but that to me anyway, just seems like I'm not into the converstaion??

SHE CHANGED THE TOPIC FOR YOU, NEXT OPPERTUNITY CHANGE THE TOPIC YOURSELF.
BE IN CHARGE, DON'T LET THE WOMAN GUIDE U

She's talking to you about some other guy
Not good tbh

is this right? I feel this isn't right…

DON'T GET TO EXCITED user, YOU'LL START MAKING MISTAKES
this is good enough, if she goes "thats pretty random" just say it came up in your head, and that you're pretty bored.

youtube.com/watch?v=WkZcb5Xm_6Y
REQUIRED VIEWING

That is not at all right.

Why are you even listening to these autistic Holla Forumstards? You know they don't know shit about what they're talking about.
user you'd be better off just doing what you think is right instead of listening to some shitty advice.

because I myself am an autistic b/tard

t. virgin

easier to talk about dogs than going out for a drink

Change topic to politics and see if she is redpilled about jews and niggers

This is fucking retarded.

this is why you shouldn't take Holla Forums's advice innit?

conversation stalled
fuck sake, wish I could have this advice before talking about dogs

At least it isn't near so awkward as the time i tried to fix a girl at a club.

you say this, but talking about dogs is so much fucking easier than talking about if she's redpilled on the JQ

i can guarantee when we're talking in person and I don't have 5 minutes to think up a response - it will be

So don't talk about if she's redpilled or not, just ask her what she's doing right now and go from there. Talking about pets is a good way to get a conversation stalled.

This thread is a shitshow.

right. we're off dogs and onto what she does at school

You ain't doing bad OP, just don't use "Anyway" or stuff like that unless the conversation is dying out, try moving it on more naturaly.

Great. Now stop taking advice from spergs on Holla Forums.

thanks man, nice to have a bit of encouragement and constructive criticism.

I think she might be stalking me or summat?

If a girl is stalking you, it is a positive for you. She likes you that much that she is going to find information about you. But she probably said that cause you were a fucking sperg
also, NEVER DO …. THIS SHOWS WEAKNESS, REMEMBER, BE IN CHARGE

...

Get to the fucking re-education centre you creep

How old are you, op?
From your recent exchanged messages, she seems to be still at high school.

i turned 18 in October - it's her 18th today.
16 is the legal age in my country - and we're both at college, albeit different ones which is where you go in the UK after high school and before Uni

Any new developments?

...

...

i'd say it's going well compared to earlier

You doing good OP, Keep it up.

We will watch your career with great interest.

thanks user

we all are

thank you

I feel like if I keep talking about doing PPE at uni, the JQ is going to come up

JQ?

Jewish Question. Are you knew to 4chan/Holla Forums or something?

...

fuck she's asked for snapchat and I don't have it

fuck, should have got that for her birthday for today

Fuck, should have quickly made one, You got insta or something?

nah, just fb, and twitter. but my twitter is purely political so I bet she would not enjoy that

Fuck snapchat, ask for her actual number.

Oh well, You might wanna create a snap tho, useful with the girls.

This.

fuck, here we go

she's getting redpilled tonight

MAN UP AND SAY YOU DONT HAVE IT
Make one for her, makes her feel even more special

Oh boy, Trust me dude, You do not want to do this.

NO

DO NOT TALK POLITICS WITH WOMEN
THEY THINK WITH THEIR FEELS NOT THEIR MIND
STOP STOP ABORT NOW

her dad's redpilled - she must be half way there already

...

right, we're off politics

talking politics is much easier than talking drink tho

The night is still young user.
I'd try and go out tonight

When talking politics you sort of go into Conflict territory, Conflict does not generate interest.

You talk politics with your mates or randoms not girls you wanna wiggle waggle your tongue into.

At 11pm? naa thats bit silly

if i can't get her redpilled, can I at least get her off the ciderpill and onto the alepill?

what are you, weak?
she'll be more open to ideas anyway, op should try and cum in that pussy tonight

fuck

try to get her out tonight op, get her to drink somemore tho

I'm not going out tonight at this time. College in morning (for both of us) and I'm /comfy/

don't listen to the toothpaste, she might just think you're trying to get her drunk just to fuck her

This. She seems pretty interested in chattin' with you. Time to reel her in

Well at least work towards making plans

read the thread man. already made plans for upcoming weekend and next week

Worry not, everyone has opinions, Might actualy be a good idea to get into a conversation about booze likes/dislikes.

Talk emotions, not facts,
Your emotions build you as a person, facts do not.

She's cute as fuck OP, good luck.

Thanks

My bad, I only skimmed through the thread

apology accepted

...

if brexit doesn't get your cock hard you're on the wrong site

au contraire.

...

go on eurofag

Have fun being cucked by Merkel & Junker

You're not there to talk arguments with the woman. Only feels will help you in your quest for pussy

bloomberg.com/news/articles/2017-11-14/euro-area-propped-up-by-germany-heads-for-best-growth-in-years-j9zg8hlj

OP I read through all your texts; I've seen people do far worse and you can pull it off, though you're bordering on the friendzone here. Take my advice and make a slightly jesting comment towards her; insult her a little bit, tease her. Don't joke about her looks or anything too personal like that. Say something among the lines of 'I'd carry you home if you got too drunk, you big dummy' or call her a nerd or something for wanting to do maths.

Now, don't be a moron and copy what I said, but do *apply* it. Tease her! Don't be too nice.

t. pussyslayer

...

Right chaps - I'm singing off for the night, I'll chat to her again tomorrow, and post updates.

Gudnight xxx

Eh Teasing is better used for girls you dont really know that much, Doesn't mean it would backfire or anything

The goal of teasing is to make girls think of you as the guy who is going to be their sperm donor for the Night, its harder to acomplish if she already knows you and knows its not like you to go around teasing.

Lol you guys are still in the EU, You still havent left becouse your goverment can't make a plan for getting out.

LULZ

Idk, I suppose it's a bit of both but teasing is basically a good way to spice the convo up a bit, when, you know, you've just been discussing dogs and brexit. It's not an exact science.

Yeah, no.

Yea you are right, I just meant that it has a much better effect on someone you dont know and is easyer to use,

If you do know them on the other hand you have to manuvore the convo to be able to tease in the first place or it will come off odd.

I don't think OP really knows how to steer a conversation that well just yet although im sure he will learn soon enough.

Fair point bruv, can't argue. And I also believe in OP, there have been a few good pointers in this thread, including what you and I are saying. I believe in OP, and I eagerly await his return.

God bless that little nigga

is OP still about? its the jockfag from earlier
i fucking TOLD you to text her later when she was drunk n see if she got flirty I FUCKINg TOLD YOU SON good thing shes got more balls than you and made first move :^) i kid but well done OP fucking proud of you dont screw this up and keep us posted

Pretty sad that so many anons lives revolve around politics to this extent.

You're what… 18? Just chill out with the politics until you've actually lived a bit–trust me, you'll look back and realize how utterly ignorant you were. And remember, Holla Forums does not make you an expert on anything but misinformation and virulent bigotry.

bump

OP can we get an update ?

I think you may be in the wrong place

this thread makes me miss /britpol/

UNDER RATED POST.

Lets just take stock of some key facts here:

She is either a bit thick, or somewhat intelligent and has low self esteem

this girl sounds like the easiest lay in town, you'd have to be pic related to have any difficulty closing the deal

also avoid talking to girls who are drinking/drunk by text, especially when they tell you that they're drinking, the conversation will suck and you wont get anything meaningful from them. a girl telling you that they are drunk / drinking is code for "come find me and butter my crumpet before I sober up"

sure. we didn't speak yesterday, but later today when i get some free time, i'll message her to sort out an actual plan for weekend

sorry - you expect people on Holla Forums NOT to be autistic?

what did i fucking say?

you deserve those dubs user
t.jockfag from other day

ta mate

now your just showing off lad, safe to say your getting your end wet at weekend :^)

NOICE!

i haven't seen/heard that in years. cheers for the memories
t. burger who visited across the pond a very long time ago

mate, it's got nowt on TTFN or tara as a nice way of ending a conversation

Absolutely degenerate

bampo for the team effort of getting user laid

The way lower-class Brits write is appalling.

You brits know what a compliment is? Jesus, is it that hard to say I like your sense of humor or just bring your beautiful smile. Anyways, sounds like she's rounding up a harem of potentials and seeing what the best offer is. You will pay for every step you go.

you should talk to some working class jocks nigga, it's like a whole new language of dyslexics
of which i am fluent

checked, satan
first i was going to post
but then i re-read it and noticed the "working" part. that rules out niggers.

Buy one for her boyfriend too

ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU INCLUDE ANYONE ELSE INTO THIS "DATE?" YOU BETTER HOPE HE GHOSTS HANGING OUT WITH YOU GUYS! AND YOU BETTER GET HER INTO YOUR ROOM ASAP AS SOON AS SHE'S RIPE, YOU DUMB NIGGER

jocks are scottish cunts buddy look up burnestoun or limmy show on youtube, pref burnistoun

where's our fucking update OP keep the thread alive

It wasn't even Saturday, you fucking dipshit

don't care want update, im emotionally invested in this now becasue i dont have fuck all else going for me atm tbh

Holla Forums helps out this guy
Hilarity will ensue.

if you're gay, then ask for a threesome with her side-piece

sorry, nothing to update

Where did you get that from? I'm glorious eternal Anglo

cuck

hilarious thread though, I almost fainted from how much I laughed, OP I really liked your "I won't spend that much money on you anyway". true /r9k/ response

you did read the part when she was like "oh no, he can't come - guess we'll have to go alone what a shame" right?

OP - two tips

1 - when she said "I don't know enough about politics to have an opinion", that is a not so subtle but mature way of saying I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT POLITICS.

2 - Chicks don't get wet for super serious autist guy. So be a little big more fun, not crazy retarded but just a bit more relaxed and less uptight. The user that suggested teasing her a little was correct.

Good luck user, she is yours for the taking, just don't fuck it up by being a complete retard. And don't put the pussy on a pedestal. Relax and have fun you crazy kids.

N.B - OP use protection!

She literally just told you what to do, you fucking mongoloid.

Happy for this britfag.
You've more years to come so don't let this get to you if it goes apeshit!

Four clovers to ya!

but y doe carlos.png :^)

thanks guise

Will do, there'll be no immorality going on here

Right, so I'll be seeing her tomorrow, and she hasn't messaged me since Tuesday. So, she lost interest then?

You need to drop some redpills ASAP, otherwise what's the point?

...

Have you tried messaging first?

tbf, i'm shit at starting conversations - and when we talked on Tuesday she didn't seem as interested as she did on Sunday, but maybe that's because she was a bit drunk? idk

Just say "Hey you dumb fucking bitch, you still down for tomorrow when we both get smashed and I get a drunk blowjob?"

or "Hey you still down for tomorrow?"

1. You've ignored our advice on being assertive. FOUR out of the FIVE replies you sent ended with a fucking question mark! You come across as weak and indicisive.
2. She was drunk when you two were texting; people act differently when drunk, so keep that in mind.

no response - i think she's gone to bed tbf

OP, for the love of god:

Read these posts again, and again, and again until you actually apply them. I hope it's not too late, but if it is; learn from it.

For fucks sake don't listen to the fucking netherlands faggot, he's fucking incompetent and does not know what he's talking about.

Belgium user seems right tho

Belgium is right.

right so i tease her a little tomorrow, but nothing personal - and certainly nothing about how she looks? just a little cheeky comment?

nice trips

Think about something you two might have in common maybe.. You know, the best teases aren't the ones you prepare the night before, they're the ones that pop into your mind in the moment. You'll just have to wait until you two meet, and you can be the James Bond you want her to think you are

OP wants a whore?

buy her a half pint.

Right so, this'll be awkward. 2 people who i know of and have never spoken to before

i dun fucked up

contemplating just getting so fucking drunk i have no memory of it

why is this thread still on page 8, even tho i've posted twice? hmmm

unlucky digits buddy, so fill us in who's the new faces?

don't really know tbh, i mean, i know of them but as i say i've never spoken to them before. Not good since i was thinking it would just be the two of us

aye it's a bit shite to spring it on you today lad still, hope for the best for ye let's know how it goes

How was it bro?

hopefully he's still out if he's back by now it did not go well

Not gone yet - be setting off in just over an hour

And turns out she's just bring one friend with her. The friend she's bringing is a lesbian as well. Don't know if that's good or bad for me. Bad for society, obviously.

it's only 6pm here btw

honestly lad hope this goes well for you

10 past lad :^)
t.jockfag

thanks man

but so far i can only see it heading towards the friendzone

but i've always been a pessimist so idk

you fool, you didn't deserve those dubs meme responsibly
everythings gonna be fine just be nice to her pal and don't sweat it too much you seem alright, not a prick or anything just have a good time n let us know later on pref in morning/afternoon wink wink nudge nudge :^)

Mate, I'll be way too fucking drunk to come back here and post an update later. Have to be tomorrow

Nigger, the evening just went down the shitter. You'll either cuck out or they make sure to keep you at an arms length no matter how suave you are. There's the tiny chance that you're going to hit the first base or even the second. And if by a miracle you get into the third base, skip it asap and hit a home run.

I'm rooting for ya, OP. Do the deed.