I need your help, Holla Forums. I need a job

I need your help, Holla Forums. I need a job.

I'm 20 years old, have never been officially employed before, and dropped out of high school due to excessive allergies and earned a GED. I am studying driving rules right now and my existential dread is setting in.
The truth is that I know absolutely nothing about survival in the real world, and my parents are the absolute worst at teaching that sort of thing. I'm convinced they're putting absolutely 0% effort into helping me find employment and do not care if I live in their house for the rest of my life.

I don't know where to apply to. I do not know what ideal distance is for the undoubtedly minimum wage job I am going to be taking. I don't even know how favorable a high school diploma is compared to a GED, how my medical history is going to affect my employment, and how I would be able to land a job despite that if it ever gets in the way.

I am shit out of luck in the middle of the dark with a flashlight whose batteries expired years ago.
What do I do? Where do I search? What do I settle for?

meep meep hey retard go to your nearest McDonalds or Walmart and ask for a job there and if you don't get one then just keep putting in your applications eventually you will get a call back those places don't care about your level of education they hire kids who are still in high school just be persistent tbh no homo

STARVE OR GET FAT? BOTH BAD FOR WAR
WHEN U HAVE FOOD
GIVE SOME AWAY TO MAKE ALLIES, IF NO ONE IS AROUND LEAVE SOME AROUND
IF SOMEONE IS AROUND FOOD WILL GO MISSING
AND TO TEST FOR POISON DO THIS FIRST
ENEMY WILL WANT FOOD
SOMETIMES ONLY TO DESTROY YOU, TO STARVE YOU
THEY KNOW IT IS WHAT YOU NEED MOST
BAIT
TOUGH ENEMY WILL LOOK FOR YOUR FOOD
WAIT FOR THEM TO SHOW UP AND YOU WILL LEARN MOST VALUABLE LESSON IN WAR; WHO IS THE ENEMY?
TOUGHEST ENEMY GIVES YOU FOOD, TO BE YOUR FRIEND AND MAKE YOU SOFT SO THEY CAN MAKE YOU INTO WHAT THEY WANT
FOOD GIFTS ARE POISON TO THE WARRIOR, SO DEADLY IS THIS WAY OF FIGHTING IT WILL SLAY THE SPIRIT OF FIGHT IN YOU AND YOU WILL STILL WALK, TALK AND EAT AS IF YOU ARE STILL ALIVE, YOU WILL NOT EVEN KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN KILLED
ONLY TAKE OR MAKE DEALS FOR FOOD
NEVER ACCEPT EATING
SOMETIMES YOU GO HUNGRY
TO BITE IS TO FIGHT
TO EAT IS TO STRUGGLE

Addendum: I don't want to do the dumbass normie thing and get myself on virtually every registry in the United States. If anyone can recommend some ways to stay off the grid and take care of myself would be greatly appreciated.


Mcdonalds and Wal-mart are right out.
Forgot to mention I don't want a shitter job

To put things in perspective for you: I didn't know you're supposed to continue to put in applications when you don't hear back. I also don't have a phone they can "call" me on because phones are the fucking devil in handheld electronic form

Looks like you are destined to be a drug dealer or pot grower who doesn't have a phone, but trades cryptocurrencies on the side.
Good luck with that. You better start educating yourself now, faggot.

nice try, but i don't want a fucking GPS jewbox on my person at all times

try being honest OP

nigger, PHONES are the devil when your on the internet?
just pay cash for a burner…
dont want a shitter job?
i've got bad news for you, they're all shitter jobs… if you plan on driving and have access to a car, why not drive for uber or shipt or some dumb shit like that?
set your own hours, meet lots of interesting people…

I am being honest, just not ENTIRELY honest.


That's a good plan. I don't mind if it's a bad job as long as it's not a freakshow meme like mcdonald's.

Still don't know how I'd go about applying for something like that though.

VPN + TAILS
+soil + light +water and nutrients

...

You have to start somewhere, and everyone gets their start one of two ways. Either you take a shit minimum wage job that doesn't care about your work history and use it to start having a work history, or you get your first job through friends or family. Tell everyone you know you need a job, someone might offer you something. Apply at every minimum wage place you can, eventually one will respond. Work there for at least six months.

As a backup, take some vocational training. Carpentry, welding, etc.

Yes. This is usable. Thank you.

THIS, start at the bottom, don't expect respect, earn it through hard work and demonstrated competence. Driving is good, try trucking but recognize its coming obsolescence. Don't be afraid to move. Unless your in the south, move south, you can get work on your 'Northern industrial' credit. Don't be afraid to get dirty. Learn to Shake Hands properly. Make eye contact. Remember names. Networking from Uber driving is a real thing. No work is shit, all work is worthy. That's how you get experience. Wal-Mart isn't a carer, its a 1 to 3 year stepping stone. Apply yourself. You wont starve in this country on welfare, but you wont thrive ether. Believe it or not you can better yourself with effort. Remember: If its shitty all the time and people are always crap wherever you go there is good news. You're the problem. You can change you. Good luck changing anyone else.

exactly
jesus everyone knows you're hiding something you're just making the interviewer's job more difficult which they don't enjoy especially when you're underqualified to begin with

Lucky. I have been employed since I was young and the only time I got a break was after quitting a job, I was unemployed for 6 months and it was the single greatest time of my life.

...

Sell heroin tbh

My dad told me to look for a place that helps you create resumes and to find jobs. Im currently 24 with a hs diploma

...

Kek af that you are, yet again, on a chan instead of looking for a job or an alternative living arrangement. You are an idiot and deserve all that is soon coming your way.

t. Dad.

shotgun job applications, it worked for me

Murder your dipshit dad and hang yourself.

Lie on your application
nobody calls previous workplaces, so make some up

rude

This sounds believable enough.
But I don't believe it.