Stupid shit you thought when you were little

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I don't care who knows!
Daddy, who was a priest, used to anoint me with his special oil, a few nights every week, so that I could be assured I would go to heaven.

>glue tastes good

glue does taste good tbh

i thought dogs and cats were the same animal. i thought dogs were the boys of the species and cats were the girls of the species

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LOL the naive things we believed as kids.

I thought a college degree would mean something

I thought I would become something when I grew up.

I though Adam was an ass hole. He had everything a guy could ever want. That ungrateful bastard told god he was lonely. God started yelling, You have sheep over there, A bunch of horses in that direction, behind you is a pack of dogs eagerly waiting for some fuck, yet your not happy with all that i gave you. So god bashed him over the head, ripped out a rib, and cursed him for eternity with the existence of woman. That is why the term "never look a gift horse in the mouth" was made.

i thought cars had exhausts because it was cool.

I thought people are all basically rational.
I thought people are all manipulative and evil.

I used to think that children remained children forever.
I also thought that some girls had penises just like guys did, while other girls had vaginas.

I thought Holla Forums would stay awesome

I thought black people were just like white people

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I thought that I would still want to become something when I grew up.

I thought america was white but Holla Forums's excellent new amerimutt memes helped me realize I was wrong all along.

DEATH TO THE WEST

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that too.
when i was a kid i used to believe that my dad was a paragon of virtue and always right about everything.
a super hero.
as i grew up i realized that he's just a poor retard like any random retard trying to do the best he can.

i realized that right and wrong aren't that well defined and that from now on i'll have to think for myself and be my own role model.

i thought the gunshots in the woods were soldiers fighting in ww2
to be fair i just thought sounds travel very slowly

to be fair op most of your juvenile assumptions were more or less true…

I thought that I would grow up

i thought you would too

When I was real young I had a horrible nightmare about these fucked up bird muppet looking things that lived in my walls and so for a while I was convinced that it was true and was afraid to fall asleep to close to the walls.

Luckily I was young enough that I believed stuffed animals could keep you safe and had this giant wolf plush that I'd sleep on that I figured kept them in the walls. I wish I still had that thing as I have some weird gratitude for it.

Women want to be treated the same way I'd like to be treated

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I thought Adolf Hitler was a bad guy.

meep meep I thought that aircraft warning lights were the flashing eyes of a demon that exists to eat children tbh no homo

That I would have normal life, wife and kids tbh.

Meep meep you suck dicks faggot.

I always thought that other countries didn't exist, but they were just made up.

same tbh

i thought that the lines between states on a map were actual neutral zones and the letters on the map were actually built there in big letters like hollywood

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This

I use to think pee came from your testicles

I thought that since the universe is mostly hydrogen, you could go to outer space and light a match and that would destroy the universe.

Its gonna happen one of these days. There will be a libtard faction, blm and white supremacist faction. I hope we whites take east because we could easily kill the niggers by dehydrating them. Just like in africa.

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I also thought people who spoke other languages heard those languages as English and that English speakers were the only ones who spoke "normal."
Same goes for written text, I thought other people somehow saw text written in other languages as if it was written in English.

Also, I was flipping through a science book when I was really young and it showed a picture of an AIDS patient. I asked my dad what caused it and he said "That's what happens when you play with your peepee." For years onward I was afraid of touching my dick because I thought that's how you get AIDS. Whenever I pissed I would lean over the toilet.

When I asked my dad what a fag was, he described them as "weirdos who want to suck your peepee." This left me terrified for a really long time of strange men who for some reason were out to suck my dick.

Another thing my dad told me was that the Jews killed Jesus. I said I wanted to kill all the Jews because of it. He then yelled at me for saying that but never could give me a good reason why wanting to kill Jews was bad.

Wow, I actually have a lot of these now that I think about it:
I thought "communist" meant "someone who hates America"
I thought most people saw the world in third person POV and that I was somehow deficient for seeing in first person.
I thought voices were the only sounds other people could hear and that I was the only one who could hear things like me banging a pair of boots on the wall. When my brother told me to stop doing that I was legitimately baffled at the fact that he could hear it.
I thought you could get contact high from being around people who are high on any drug.
I thought the only thing adults drank was alcohol and that soda, juice, milk, etc. were purely kid things.
I thought mixing foods would make me sick. Like if the juices from canned peaches touched meat or something it would make me sick.
I thought I could cook hard boiled eggs in a microwave for a really long time and they'd turn sunny side up.
My dad told me once that Muslims worshiped a demon and I took it literally.
I thought all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.
I used to have a lot of cats (one in particular was a massive whore and gave birth to several litters. I think we had over 20 at one point). As they started disappearing my mom told me they were sent to a farm. Later on I heard on TV that that was basically the cliche way of avoiding telling your kids when pets die so I naturally assumed all those cats died. Years onward the subject came up again and it turns out they literally were sent to a farm.
I thought jellyfish produced electricity.

There's probably a lot more but I spent too much time already thinking back on this shit.

same. I didn't realize the testicles in my scrotum were connected and i thought they had to "ferry" the pee back and forth so i would move them around with my fingers to help the process

It's like when you see fireworks and there's light but then 60 years later you hear the loud bang.

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You weren't too far off on the first one. All communists hate America, but not everyone who hates America is a communist.

I thought the moon would follow me around at night.

i thought ur mom

topkek best posts in the thread
datamine this you fuckers

i thought my mom had weiner

Why would you post that picture? Now I will never be able to get over leeches being the only word on the left not in alphabetical order. You have ruined my childhood.

I thought Holla Forums was worth my time.

well that was stupid

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bone apple tea

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rekt

(OwO)
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i thought you woul'dnt bring friends

=WHY WORRY ABOUT DATAMINING=

It's just the notion of "Don't tell them anything, no matter how minute or "useless" the information is."

Some favorite color combos can be associated with objects of influence.

Like the colors of your uni/school.
Color of your partner's eyes.

Anything really, combine that with other information you can profile a collective, and sometimes single persons.

Rule #1 of interrogation.
All information, if any is useful.

Fucking Redtext fail, I swear I'm developing a brain tumor.

I'm starting to mix up letters when typing.
Let alone forgetting words.

I thought rape was putting a knife in someones butt

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Anything round was a basketball (had a very embarrassing incident as a 2 year old on a bus when some fat bitch sat opposite us, figure it out for yourself)
Color was invented sometime in the mid 1900s (tbh I think anyone born after 1970 or so had that misconception as a child, and I have no idea why it made sense at the time)
Reproduction entailed a man putting his dick into a woman's belly button (mom/dad cut the crap and told all of us around the time we started school, I evidently misinterpreted)
You weren't supposed to get a girlfriend until age 18, I got a mixture of confusion and feeling impressed when another 11 year old in my class showed us his gf
WWF was fake and that ECW was the real deal due to the weapons they used on each other and all the injuries they sustained
The more powerful sports cars could go in excess of 300 MPH, didn't understand the concept of a metric system until years later

Do birth abnormalities run in your family?

Details?

I thought pig dicks looked like human dicks but grey.

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I would love to know where you grew up

New England.

But as a little kid I knew a couple people who lived in L.A. It just happened they described it exactly the same way as Hell from my sunday school teacher.

New England. But as a little little kid I had neighbors from L.A. They just hapened to describe it the same way as I was taught Hell was like.

I thought getting naked and having tickle fights with my babysitter was no reason for alarm.

that is pretty hot

I thought that wars are fought for the sole purpose of killing all the people in another country. I believed it to be common knowledge that defensive war is over only when every single person defending their country is dead, it was confusing finding out that there would be survivors that would give up at some point and be capable to live under occupation.